


Another World, Another Time

by Skydiver_Tomyo



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Aliens, Alt-universe, Angst!Tony, It's war, M/M, PTSD, Tony is in the past, Tony just being damn unlucky, Tony slingshot into it anyway, WW II, and he does not like, did I mention Tony is slightly alien?, just a little
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-04
Updated: 2014-01-10
Packaged: 2017-12-13 18:21:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 121,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/827377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skydiver_Tomyo/pseuds/Skydiver_Tomyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>2011, New York, Earth.<br/>The portal closed before Tony fell out. Despite the team and the world thinking he didn't survive, he did.<br/>Rescued by another alien race, he lands in another universe's Earth, only, there's one problem. It's not 2011, it's 1937.</p><p>1937, New York, Earth.<br/>Knowing he can't return, Tony goes on in time, joining the army and fighting the wars. Falling in love and losing friends.<br/>Of course, being reasonable himself throughout might be to much to ask?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so, I started this story a couple months ago, deciding to do something that was as far of from what I usually write as I could possible go.  
> At first, it was going to be some Steve/Bucky/Tony in there, but decided against it :V  
> Anyway, the exact number of chapter, I haven't decided yet, it's really hard when you're writing about the war.
> 
> It's completely MCU Avengers, even if there is barely any Avengers in it..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wah, the chapter disappeared so I had to redo the entire fucking chapter.. I have no idea what happened...

 

“ _Mr. Stark.”_

“ _Captain.”_

 

He should have know. Should have realized that trying to act big with the oldest hero of history. Or at least, try to act like he was equally strong as the man out of time. He wished he was wrong, wished his expectations of the captain was all shot down. Should have known his father had prettied up the stories of the hero of the war. Should have seen the battle coming, the demigod of mischief, who had planned world dominance.

 

“ _Threatening the safety of everyone on this ship isn't funny!”_

 

This shouldn't have been so hard though, it was just another battle after all. And this time he wasn't alone. No, he was never alone to start with. He just thought so. He'd never been one to trust others, at least not after one of his own betrayed him. It was one of his flaws, or at least, one of many. It broke his soul and mind to find that one of his own had payed an assassination on him that, in the end made him into a hero.

 

“ _He's a spy, Captain, he's 'the' spy, his secrets have secrets.”_

 

Oh, he had learned to trust, although he never seemed to show it. How many times had he tried to show it? But in the end, he was still unable to show it after all. All he ever had been, was a broken man. It wasn't all his fault, the nightmares and the fearful thoughts often drove him away from those he cared for. Alcohol had been a good friend through most of it.

 

“ _Jarvis has been running since I hit the bridge, in a few hours I'll know every dirty secret S.H.I.E.L.D has ever tried to hide.. blueberry?”_

“ _Yet you're confused about why they didn't want you around?”_

 

Toughest was hearing the truth from the man he had the highest expectations of. Maybe the words hurt, but he never let it get to him, or maybe he did. Back then he might have gotten really hurt, but he'd be damned if he showed it. Being told you weren't something you fought so hard to prove you where. And most of all, prove you are human. Being told so by the hero of time.

 

“ _We have orders, we should follow them.”_

“ _Following's not really my style..”_

 

Blood was spilled, both innocent and enemy. It was all horrible. The sirens of the police cars. The screeches of the creatures and the horrible sound of their guns. The sound of his gauntlets, going off at all time. The sound of Thor's hammer crunching creatures and concrete. The Captain's shield hitting enemies and bouncing off of buildings. Black Widow's guns. Hulk's angry roar. And of course, the screaming of the people running around in the streets.

 

“ _Wait, wait, hold on, how is this now about me?”_

“ _I'm sorry, isn't everything?”_

 

He had wished it was all just one bad dream more than once during the fight. Maybe, maybe if he wished hard enough he'd wake up in cold sweat in his large, king sized bed and find Pepper's soothing voice calming him down and Jarvis telling him what ungodly hour he woke up at.

 

“ _Yeah, big man in a suit of armor, take that off, what are you?”_

“ _Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”_

 

Never had he acted grateful for any of the things he'd had been given or seen, surely he was paying for that. There was one exception though, the one thing that saved his life. The arc reactor. The one man who went through bullets to make sure he survived. Yinsen.

 

“ _I've seen the footage, the only thing you really fight for, is yourself! You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.”_

“ _I think I would just cut the wire.”_

 

Choosing the life of a hero wasn't hard, the road was full of challenges and chances to prove himself and he was damn sure he had quite a few times done so. Yet, the more he tried, the harder it got to prove that he could willingly walk into the line of fire for those he cared for. He wasn't a complete fool, he knew what he had to do to go into the history books, he would go as far as sacrificing himself for peace and freedom.

 

“ _You know you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero!”_

“ _A hero? Like you? You're a laboratory experiment Rogers, everything special about you came out of a bottle.”_

 

Or maybe not a hero after all, when those he worked with didn't look at him that way. It stung, more than he'd like to admit, but he joked over it, hoping his flaws wouldn't be seen, the scars and cracks. The nightmares that lurked just under his metal alloy suit. The Man of Iron as Thor called him, and it kind of proved how he looked to everyone else, a man without a heart.

 

“ _Sometimes there isn't a way out Tony.”_

“ _Right, I've heard that before.”_

 

He was pretty sure he had said that himself once, back when he was suffering from Palladium poisining, when he told Fury there was no way to fix him, and was proven wrong. So yeah, he'd stop believing that there was no way out, sometimes he just didn't care. Then there was Phil Coulson, no, first name Agent right? A man of great honor and a fighting spirit that wound it's way into his heart. He died pointing out Loki's flaw, proving what a worthy man he was, that even someone without superpowers could be a hero, something Tony could never be.

 

“ _Is this the first time you've lost a soldier?”_

“ _We are not soldiers!”_

 

He was a soldier, even if he didn't want to admit it, which didn't come as much of a surprise. After all, he used four decades realizing that he wasn't meant to make weapons of destruction, but build something to help, something to protect.

 

“ _What have I to fear?”_

“ _The Avengers.”_

 

The one time he admitted to try believing in a team full of misfit heroes, was the moment he realized how small he really was. One of many, just one tiny star in the big and dark universe, that was what he was. Their team, a bunch of weird people put together. A demigod, an experiment gone wrong, a patriotic man out of time, two assassins and himself, it was a recipe for disaster, but could also be the perfect combination.

 

“ _Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us, but it's all on you.. because if we can't protect Earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it.”_

 

So, they banned together and made a perfect team, one he'd love to continue fighting together with. It was like all he'd done in his life was for this day. The day the team finally fought together, maybe they could have eaten together, yeah, that'd be nice. Parting with him driving off with his beautiful car, the captain off on his 40's bike, Thor already gone with Loki, the assassins going back to S.H.I.E.L.D, and Banner probably seeking solidarity in the East again.

 

“ _Stark, are you seeing this?”_

“ _Seeing, still working on believing.”_

 

It was nice, knowing that something like that could have been, at least in the end anyway. Tony wasn't a believer of friendship, nor any other sort of partnership. He guessed it was because he feared betrayal that he kept only Pepper, Happy and Rhodey at his side. No, there was others, mostly dead, but still there. Fury, Hill, the Avengers, despite their obviously tense start.

 

“ _Stark, you know that's a one-way trip?”_

“ _Save the rest for the turn, J.”_

 

Sometimes he wondered if this was his penalty for doing what his own personality and past strode against. No, that couldn't be right, right? It was sometimes harder than it seemed. The age wouldn't ever be reveal on his smooth skin, but his eyes would show his age no matter how old he grew, no matter how long he waited. Hoping they'd find him again, wishing that he could back, to 2012, to the fight, to his friends, to his tower. Tony just shook his head when he thought about it like that. There was no return to that time, to that world. He was stuck.

 

“ _Close it..”_

 

The bright light of the blast from the nuke, sending him back towards the portal. He had been damn lucky he was still alive. Slowly he drifted backwards, the gravity from the portal pulling him towards it, but too late. The portal closed and the drifting stars and universes was all there was. The debris from the once Chituari army was still there, but he didn't know. Tony wasn't even conscious at this state. His heart thumped loudly against his chest. The arc reactor long since gone out. What did it matter if he died from the shrapnel now? He'd be dead soon anyway. Or so he thought. That was 75 years ago.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha.. just gonna lie down in a corner and cry.. *sobbing*


	2. Return to Earth, 1937

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony starts telling his story, of how the Deshainn race rescued him, healed him and helped him home, well, as much of a home as it ever could be.
> 
> Of how he landed in New York, in the year of 1937.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to upload right away on the first chapter, it's rather small too, but that's because I wasn't really building it up on purpose..
> 
> And Tony suffers the loss of his precious suit and two new hearts.

 “So, where do you actually want me to begin?” he asked. The Shield agents stared right back at Tony, who sat there, hair slicked back and the trimmed goatee and mustache ever present, and of course, dressed in a 1940's army uniform, decorated with medals. The hat laid on the table in front of them. Tony had taken it off upon arrival. The dog tags making a soft klink against his arc reactor when he leaned forward, smirking. Those weren't just his own tags though, having once in the past shared his dog tags with a certain brunette. Tony's eyes was deep, filled with what he had seen and done during his time away from New York, away from 2012. Not just good things, but bad things as well.

“At the beginning.” one of the them said. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“There has been quite a few beginnings for me.. Afghanistan, Iron Man, the Palladium poisoning, Avengers..” he said, leaning back against the chair and dragging a hand through his slicked hair, ruffling it. Eyes never faltering despite his age. Wisdom came with years they said and yes, they were right, Tony had learned that the hard way.

“After you fell through the portal.” the other agent said and Tony noticed that they were also recording him. He smirked.

“Ah, a tale from a long, long time ago.” he chuckled to himself before he scratched the scar running under his right ear absentmindedly. One of many scars. One of many signs of his time in war. Of his time barely aging, watching those he loved the most die and perish while he stayed the same, barely a few more gray hair appearing in his hair after all this time.

“Mr. Stark, just start.” the first agent said, massaging the bridge of his nose.

“Oh, just Mr. Stark now? Gee, two hours ago you were all Sergeant Stark this, Sergeant Stark that.” Tony teased, never once letting go of the hold on the arms of the chair.

“Stark.” Fury snapped from his side by the table. Tony sighed, straightening up a bit.

“Okay then.. just for the sake of my privacy and your.. sanity, some of these things have to be off the record, some of things that happened between me and a certain someone.. and you may not like what you are about to hear..” he murmured, looking past the agents, out of the window and let out a sigh. He seemed to be lost in memories from a long time ago. Then he caught himself and coughed gently before leaning back again, settling into the chair.

“My name, is Anthony Edward Stark, born March 3rd 1896 and I'm 116 years old..”

* * *

 

“ _I did not choose this life to get more famous Rogers, I choose it to prove that I care!” had been one of the things he wanted to say when Tony had argued with Steve back at the Helicarrier. Right now though, Tony regretted ever insulting the patriotic captain. The captain maybe have gotten his strength and size from a bottle, but his heart and soul was as pure and true as the element holding his arc reactor together. The darkest of space closed around him, yet he couldn't see that. Tony's eyes was closed, there was no breath, no heart beat, nothing. So he would not see the ship appearing out from a similar hole in space. The ship was closing in on him, picking him up, saving him._

* * *

 

The streets was a mess, nothing could be explained better than complete chaos and destruction. Captain America sat down on a nearby taxi, or the remains of it anyway. Thor was standing with his head raised to the sky, watching, blue eyes never resting to search for what was missing. Hulk was smashing some nearby cars, but it's strength was diminishing, his cries wasn't filled with anger, but agony and sadness. Black Widow was standing close to Hawkeye, checking on his injuries, but not really checking at all, her eyes were distant. Hawkeye stared from one to another, waiting for someone to speak, to say what everyone knew but no one wanted to say. Without a doubt they would have to move soon, but neither of them wanted to. Hulk's cries disappeared and the captain tiredly looked over to see Bruce appear from behind a smashed car, tangling the mess of pants he had a bit harder around his body.

“We have to.. move..” Hawkeye said after a few more minutes of silence. Widow nodded, but didn't seem inclined to do so. It was already on the news, all over the world. There was no way there was a single human being who didn't know what had happened to the city. To them. To him.

“Loki, he..” Widow started. Of course, the demigod was still up in the Stark Tower, probably wheezing out his last strength. The good captain nodded, getting of the car, a determined look on his face. His body ached with pain, his head ached too and his heart ached with guilt for what he said to Tony. He hadn't meant any of the things he had said to the billionaire, Loki's staff had affected them all. Though, deep inside, he knew that parts of it was true, but it was not the present truth, but the truth of the old Tony Stark that went into a cave and before he came out a superhero. The captain sighed, how could he ever repay Tony for that? The doubt, the dishonesty and the disloyalty towards the genius was eating him up inside. Bruce eyed them all, keeping his pants on at all costs.

“Tony wouldn't want us to sit around like this.” Bruce suddenly said, it seemed he grasped the situation a little better than the rest despite being the one who suffered most. Tony was one of the few who would joke with Bruce about his green alter ego. He could just smile it all away like being the Hulk wasn't such a bad idea or he would be all anti-'scared and pitifully nervous' around him. The captain nodded.

“Right, Loki.” he said. Thor turned, looking at them.

“The portal..” he suddenly said, making the rest look at him.

“What about it?” Widow asked.

“It was a portal of another world.. I'm sorry, our friend is lost, even if he survives, there is no way back..” he said. It seemed he blamed himself more than they realized. Maybe it was because Loki was his brother (adopted) and his responsibility and being unable to stop him earlier was his fault.

“Is there some way for you to get there?” Thor shook his head sadly.

“Yes, but I do not know which realm that was, and there are too many, I cannot possible find him, it would take my entire lifetime.. and because the Bifrost isn't repaired, I'd need help and my father has to use a lot of strength just to get me to Midgard.” he said, his eyes cast to the ground in sadness and guilt.

“Thor, this isn't your fault, Stark going up into the portal was his own decision, we need to respect that and show that we can still protect this world.” the patriotic man out of time explained.

“Right, so.. about Loki.” Widow seemed so small, almost helpless now. Her eyes was deep and yet so far off, like she wasn't even listening.

“For Tony.” the captain, no, Steve Rogers said. The rest looked at him, nodding.

“For Tony.” they agreed.

* * *

 

Tony groaned, turning his slightly as he awoke from the darkness to a numb, clammy body. His mind unusually slowly, supplied him with the fact that he either had a fever or was dying, or both.

“F-fuck...” he muttered to himself. There was some mumbling, some sort of strange language Tony couldn't understand, and he knew quite a few so he guessed foreign or alien, or both in his case. The man groaned, turning his head as felt something touch him, something that felt like a long, scrawny finger. There was some talking in the same language again and Tony slowly opened his eyes, before shutting them with another groan. The light from the roof was horrible strong, burning when he opened his eyes. Whatever talked earlier, talked again. Tony frowned. The last he remember was nuking the Chituari army.

“Wha-” Tony froze. Had he been captured and was being held captive by them? Had he failed? No, he was sure he took them all out, so, where was he and who was talking? Tony's eyes flew open in panic as his body moved on it's own in panic, going into fight mode. Something came down on his hands and shoulders, pushing him down against the soft material he was resting on. The light was still blinding, but Tony could make out shadows, shadows of something not human and he trashed even more, a hand or whatever it was came to rest on his arc and he shouted his discomfort, his body flinching away from the touch as he tried to get away. The hand, if that is what it was moved to his forehead, the entire palm resting against his skin. The hand was cool, not uncomfortably so, but enough to calm anyone who was in as much of a feverish state as he was.

“We mean no harm human, relax, you need to rest.” Tony's eyes closed sharply before he turned away. The voice was in his head, no, that was just too crazy. He was dead, yes, that made sense, he was dead and gone to heaven and was having a really weird dream right now, or maybe he had gone to hell and this was the devil playing tricks on his mind, which would explain the fever.

“You cannot understand our speech human, but even you can hear us through telepathy, we wish you no harm, relax.” Tony went rigid instead, but at least he wasn't trashing now.

“W-where am I?” he croaked. His voice was so weird, hoarse, stuffed with cotton.

“You are safe human, that's all you need to know now, rest, and we will talk when you have healed fully.” Tony, who had slowly relaxed, froze again.

“Heal?!” he jerked. His hands moved on their own, getting out of the grip of these creatures to touch his chest. His hands first came to touch the arc reactor and already relaxed when he found it was right where it was supposed to be, humming softly and giving of a gentle heat, calming him even further. Then he laid his hand against his chest and froze from his core.

“H-heartbeat.. two.. heartbeats..” he squeaked before he jerked up in panic.

“What have you done to me?!” he screamed. Tony was pushed down against the bed, something clasped over his wrists to keep him in check. Tony gave a startled shout when he felt the hand on his forehead.

“Sleep human, you're safe, you're healing and you will live.” was the last he heard before his mind went blank and he fell into a darkness with no dreams.

* * *

 

The whitewashed walls with silver linings was very familiar, yet so unfamiliar to Tony. Machines of types he'd never seen before was there to indicate how he was and he had this urge to pull them all apart to learn how they work. There was no windows, only a sliding door of some sort, a type of door he'd never seen before. It was all so weird, everything was built in a way humans couldn't yet fathom to understand or do. He was laying on some strange, soft type of bed. It wasn't really a bed in the sense of human, but rather a large sheet on top of some sort of soft material that was suspended in air, hovering over the floor. The door slid open to reveal on of those strange creatures taking care of him. Long, scrawny and with delicate, white skin. Large, more feline eyes and narrow skull. Long, dark hair in braids and clothes, which was cream colored tunics reaching down to the middle of it's legs, which was probably standard issue clothes for their race. The creature without a name looked at Tony, who stared right back.

“How are you feeling?” Tony tried to push away the weird and slightly disgusting feeling of the voice in his head, but there was no way he would understand them if they talked. Tony's mind supplied him with the urge to answer, so he nodded. The man never let his eyes of the creature though, because no matter how calm, he was still on alert and ready to hit whoever decided that his arc was an interesting piece of gift to give away.

“Who are you anyway?” he asked. The feline-like, blue eyes watched him.

“We are the Deshainn, we reside in the far off corners of the universe, do you know where you are?” it answered with a question, annoying the genius. Tony shook his head.

“Somewhere in outer space, not hard to figure out, but where, I have no idea, humans aren't exactly.. aware of much of the universe yet.. so, what's your name?” Tony said, staring at the alien. The creature stared back, obviously using some time to formulate it's answer.

“I am Nuwnrn.” the creature answered. Tony nodded.

“I'm Tony Stark, so, where in the.. universe am I?” he asked.

“Unfortunately, not where you belong.” the creature, Nuwnrn answered.

“I came through a portal opened up on our planet by an idiot demigod.” Tony said.

“Portal? Then I'm sorry to tell you, this is not your world.” Tony sat up straight, despite the growing pain in his chest.

“What?” his voice seemed so weak, so.. tiny.

“This is a parallel world, the Chituari are not of your world, only in the far corner of this world, the Chituari travels through worlds through portals.” Nuwnrn said.

“No.. fuck no!” Tony fell back onto the soft bed. His eyes went up to the the ceiling.

“I.. am..” he murmured, forcing his brain to process this new information.

“There are many parallel worlds to one world, to us, your world is parallel to ours, and, as unfortunate as it is, there is no way to go between worlds except a portal strong enough to let the Chituari through.” Nuwnrn explained and Tony groaned in frustration.

“Of for the love of- I'm just that lucky aren't I?!” he cried out, hitting himself in the head.

“Aren't there anything you can do? Anything at all?” Tony croaked.

“No, unfortunately, we could only save your life and heal you.” Nuwnrn answered.

“What did you need to heal anyway?” Tony asked, pushing the shock into the back of his mind.

“The metal in your chest as well as your heart.” Nuwnrn telepathically said and Tony's eyebrows rose. The shrapnel couldn't be removed, it was just to dangerous to remove the pieces because they were so close to his heart. And if they did that, why didn't they remove the arc reactor as well? It made no sense.

“What do you mean? The shrapnel is gone?” he asked.

“The metal has been removed.” Nuwnrn's voice gave Tony the chills.

“Wait, wait, hold on a sec, the surgery would be too complicated, my heart is too damaged and the shrapnel was too close for any fixing to be done!” Tony said. Nuwnrn seemed to chuckle, or at least that's what it sounded like.

“Humans' technology is far beneath us Tony Stark, we easily accessed your chest and just as easily removed the metal, the heart however, was beyond our helping.” Nuwnrn's voice was serious, just like it's eyes. Tony shrunk back into the bed despite himself.

“W-what? What did you do to me? Wait.. now I remember..” he put a hand against his chest, right above his heart. It was thumping against his chest, then he placed a hand on the opposite side of his chest, heartbeat just as loud against his right palm.

“Oh God, I have to hearts.. that's what you did? Gave me a second heart?!” he asked.

“We gave you two new.” Nuwnrn corrected. Tony's eyes widened as he stared at Nuwnrn.

“What? You removed my heart? Why?” he asked, sounding far more helpless than he liked.

“Your heart had failed and collapsed on itself Tony Stark, we needed to replace it, however, human's heart beats in a faster pace that what we make, so you needed two hearts to stabilize your body and the power of the shining metal in your chest, we could remove it, but it proves to help stabilizing your body and mind, we left that in it's place.. if that is pulled out, your hearts will become de-synchronized and it can cause major damage to your hearts.” Tony sighed.

“Thank God you didn't.. wait, so I'm not human anymore?” he asked. Nuwnrn shook it's head.

“You are human, you will always be human, we do not change the genetic codes, it is against Universal Law and it's against our nature.” Nuwnrn said and Tony let out another sigh, this time of relief.

“Good to know, I almost feared I'd be stuck as some sort of mutated human for the rest of my life.” he said.

“A long life of suffering would not be a good thing, we made the choice you would live a long life with this instead, or else we would have put you down.” Tony gulped.

“Ahaha.. put me down huh, makes me sound like a pet of some sorts.” Nuwnrn tilted it's head to the side, watching him with piqued interest.

“What is a pet, some sort of plant?” Tony gave a snort of laughter.

“No, no, it's animals, animals we keep in our houses, or at our sides, they are tamed and gentler than the wild animals.. our friends..” Tony fell into silence before he frowned.

“Long life?” he asked.

“The shining metal in your chest has.. prolonged your lifespan, the hearts will keep the power stabilized and as just explained, it will keep the hearts beating synchronized, however, you might live several hundreds of years.” Tony groaned. Wasn't that just his luck?

“I need to go back, I don't belong here, I belong on Earth.” he said.

“That can be arranged within the time you have fully healed Tony Stark.” Nuwnrn's entire sentence socked Tony so much he fell to the side.

“What? But you said there was no going back.” he said.

“There is an Earth here, in this world, however, on the other side of this universe.” Tony sat up, frowning yet again, then he groaned.

“Of course, you said it was a parallel world, which means there would be a parallel Earth here too.” he said. Nuwnrn nodded.

“Human papers and information can be accessed and given within a few hours before landing on the desired planet, the time of the travel to the planet itself will take about forty days.” Nuwnrn said. Tony nodded, then he gave Nuwnrn a halfhearted glance.

“Why are you helping me? I thought for sure you were friends of the Chituari and were out to get me for nuking them.” Tony said, dragging a hand through his hair. The Deshainn suddenly gave him a look of offense.

“We have nothing in common with the Chituari, they are a conquering race that likes death rather than life, no matter what race, they travel through worlds through portal, conquering whatever they find.” Nuwnrn seemed to snap a bit and Tony couldn't help the grin spreading across his face.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn't realize they were that hated, anyway.. so, why? Why me?” he asked.

“You took out an entire fleet of Chituari with that rocket.. and that is beside the point, Tony Stark, you survived for a reason.” Tony felt like his head was being filled with crap about fate again and just glared down at his hands.

“And? I mean, what now? The Chituari didn't even seem to consider that there's an Earth in this world, unless they already have conquered it.” Tony said.

“I- wait, something is missing.. my suit!” he cried out at the last part, having completely forgotten his Mark VII, his little baby. Nuwnrn stared at him.

“The metal suit protecting you was destroyed, it was all but scrap metal when we found you.” Nuwnrn explained and Tony groaned.

“Noooo.. that could have been my ticket home, fuck..” he cursed.

“Well, guess I've got no choice, you can drop me off on the Earth you know.” he said, Nuwnrn nodded, it's long, dark hair dancing along with the braids. Tony stared at the creature.

“Okay, just to get it straight, I need papers, profile, identity, some sort of information that will get me around.. and the year on Earth, who knows what age Earth is in, it's suck to be stuck in the 1700's century or something..” he said. Nuwnrn nodded again.

“This will all be done when you have fully healed Tony Stark, until then, rest, the journey to Earth will take a while.” and then the creature left, leaving Tony to think things through and he closed his eyes. The scene of the Chituari army flashed through his mind. The screaming. The gun fire. The explosions, all appearing behind his eyelids. Tony's eyes jerked open and he shook his head, clearing his head from the nasty scenes.

“No, not thinking about it, I can't.. now..” he thought, shaking his head even more. He was still grasping the truth about his own body, the fact that he was stuck somewhere in an alternate world and he had no way of getting home. The nightmare-ish scenes from the Chituari war was enough to make his stomach turn and his mind grab for anything remotely calming. There was a pang of hurt. He missed everything and everyone. Pepper, Rhodey, Jarvis and his other babies, the Avengers, heck, even Fury. Was there really no way back? Couldn't he somehow get a message across the two worlds? He wasn't even sure he wanted to know. And if it happened, would they be able to find him? Or did they think he had died, mourning his death and moving on within the next week?

“I'm just the fucking luckiest guy in the world ain't I?” he asked out loud, not really waiting an answer. Tony slumped against the bed, or whatever he had to call it. He had no choice but the rest, get healthier and go to Earth and try to find something to do with his life, or whatever remained of it. Maybe there was a him there? Well, there was that, and there might even be another version of the Avengers there too and that excited him a bit, but he still didn't have a place there, after all, he didn't belong there.

* * *

 

Tony had found the Deshainn to be willing sharing their knowledge and he sucked up any and everything he could get his brain around. However, he didn't sleep much. Tony shuffled around, pushing panels about as he looked at the wires, stared at it, keeping his concentration on that. Two weeks had passed since he came aboard the ship, and it had been two days since he had gotten out of sickbay and since then, he had been like a leech on knowing how, why and what the ship was made of and how it worked.

“Oh, this is sweet.” he murmured, staring at the monitors at his side. He yawned and rubbed the sleepiness out of his eyes. Often, Tony awoke, hands going for his arc reactor or his neck. The nightmares was getting worse by the nights and it was always some of the things he had gone. The cave in Afghanistan. Stane ripping his arc out of his chest and later nearly killing him. The whole Vankov thing was fairly boring, but the fights with the Avengers against Loki and his army haunted him like nothing else. He awoke, still seeing the blue light of Loki's scepter or the nothingness around the Chituari ship. The worst was, sometimes he'd wake up after dreaming of being trapped under water. Those times, Tony would be screaming and trashing, and he'd try to rip the arc reactor out. Tony slept less and less, giving the Deshainn yet another reason to force him back into sleep with their weird, latent powers. They were fully aware of what was happening and it took no longer than three hours doing check up to find out what was wrong. Their diagnosis, Preparative Dysfunctional Temporary Brain-damage, or as humans called it, PTSD. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Tony preferred the Deshainn's words, they didn't make much sense, but he didn't sound so bad. Unfortunately, that meant it went into his journal, which would happen to be the one he'd have to take with him to Earth. Not fun. Tony didn't look forward to people asking him why he was suffering from PTSD, nor did he like the thought of the Avengers learning of this either, even if the chance was slim to none.

“Those goes.. here..” Tony murmured, looking around at the screens, making no sense of the weird language, but at least he'd gotten himself a translator, or rather, he built one. It supplied him with a translation over everything he saw, so he could easily communicate with the ship. Because, yes, the ship seemed to be alive, or at least, have some sort of brain center. Earth was twenty four days away and Tony knew he could take his time and enjoy whatever he could learn.

* * *

 

“Finally..” Tony muttered, exiting the room he had been assigned since he had gotten out of sickbay. There was nothing left from him, not that there even was anything he had brought on board. Tony sighed and wrapped the clothing tighter around him. He wore black, tight pants that went all the way down to the middle of his foot, covered by a pair of black, thick boots that went up to his knees. A black, tight top covered his torso, covering his arc. Tony had actually gotten some metal to create a lid over his arc, hiding the light in case the humans of this Earth wouldn't take lightly to his rather odd looks. He also had a leather jacket with soft material on the inside that was supposed to keep him warm, well, yeah, supposed to. The brunette dragged a hand through his hair and headed for the bridge.

“How are you feeling?” Nuwnrn asked as Tony came onto the bridge. The ship was stationed a good thirty miles away from Earth. Forty days had passed since he came to this world, though for Earth, it had probably only been a few minutes since they had come through some sort of wormhole. Tony looked at the alien and gave a grimace.

“Seen better days I suppose.. but, getting there.” he said. That wasn't quite true, but he didn't want to think about it right now. A sharp shudder worked it's way through Tony as he stood on the bridge. Before him was the grand blue planet he called home, or at least an identical one. It really didn't look any different from the planet he knew. Only one difference, it wasn't his planet. The moon was drifting to their right. Tony stared at it. It was so similar, without a doubt this was a spot on similar solar system.

“What's the year down there?” he asked then, a few Deshainn co-pilots and assistants stared at him before one touched a screen, one similar to those Tony had on Earth. The alien language flashed across the screen, but Tony didn't bother trying to understand what it meant.

“Human's call this year 1937, as the date seems to be 10th of June.” was the voice in his head and Tony's eyes widened before he spluttered a curse.

“What? 1937.. shit..” he cursed. Nuwnrn came over to him.

“Is it the wrong age?” Nuwnrn asked. Tony groaned and nodded..

“I live in 2012, that's.. 75 years in the future of this planet.. they haven't even finished their last world war yet, and I wasn't born before 1970.” Tony muttered. Nuwnrn nodded slowly.

“We cannot jump in time, it isn't in our expertize.” the alien explained. Tony nodded. Of course, he knew that from reading their protocols and the data he go from the brain center. Time travel wasn't the same as going through a worm hole and travel through space. Time travel meant breaking the space and time itself to get through cracks. It was sheer impossible to do that, unless you're the Doctor of course, but he wasn't real.

“Doesn't surprise me at all, no one should be able to do that.. to dangerous if anyone could do that, besides, I guess I've got no choice, guess I'll just find something to do down there, maybe get a job or something.” he said. Nuwnrn stepped closer, handing him a folder, which Tony eyed with some precaution. He knew what was in it, everything, but he wasn't quite sure he was so happy about that.

“You will need these.” Nuwnrn said, handing him some papers. Tony refrained from rolling his eyes at the obvious fact. Tony stared at Earth.

“1937 huh..” he murmured to himself. Well, at least now he probably didn't have to worry about finding his own copy on Earth just yet, considering he wasn't even born yet. It would be so awkward if the first person Tony met was himself. Tony opened the folder, looking at it.

“This is quite good, you even got the birthday right compared to the year.. so I am born March 3rd 1896, that makes me feel so old..” he chuckled to himself. If the others knew of this, they'd just laugh of him. He froze, his memories floating in the back of his head, fresh as an open wound. Tony shook his head, deciding to avoid thinking about it. It wouldn't do him any good now.

“So, when am I going down there?” Tony asked, looking up at Nuwnrn.

“As soon as the transport is readied, humans does not know of our existence.” Nuwnrn told him.

“Yeah, I know, we 'humans' have always been bitching about aliens, but it really hasn't been proven until 20th century when they quite literary drop down on Earth for a battle.” Tony said, turning to look at the blue planet, grinning at the view over Earth.

“Tony Stark, come with us.” another Deshainn's voice cut through to Tony's mind and he turned to see another tunic dressed creature standing there. Tony nodded and followed him off the bridge. The Deshainn showed him the way to a large room with some sort of chair in the middle. A rather old-looking Deshainn sat there, staring back with large feline, black, but wise eyes.

“Tony Stark, human of another world, we have to ask you to keep our existence and our knowledge secret.” the Deshainn cut straight to the business. Tony nodded, not even smiling, he knew how serious this was, after all, he would risk being locked up, even locked to a table if he was careless.

“You needn't even ask, I would do so anyway, the year on this Earth does not leave me much choice but to shut up and keep it too myself, I too would end up on the table if I can't keep this secret, and I owe you enough to take this to the grave.” the Deshainn seemed mildly surprised at his use of words, but the alien smiled anyway.

“Thank you Tony Stark, we hope you find a place on this planet, you have capabilities far beyond a normal human being, blessed and powerful, you will surely get far, good luck.” Tony couldn't have shut the words out even if he wanted to, as they where in his head. But he nodded and smiled anyway. Even if he didn't want to think about just how powerful he was, and just how dangerous he could be.

“Yes, I will try, thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, really like the idea, and just the entire concept of the Deshainn, they're like a neutral part of the universe, as for why they picked him up, don't ask, even I don't know..


	3. Army Enlistment, 1937

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony goes for the one thing he is sure, or maybe not so sure he can do, army.  
> Because what else can he do but fight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huhuhu.. well, a lot of people are going to be au-sort of way, but only the good guys, some may not change, but they will..  
> The bad guys will stay bad, if not worse.. so yeah :V
> 
> Gonna go write that next chapter now..

If you ever asked Tony what he thought about the army and enlisting, he'd only listen to half of what you'd say and then tell you to stick it where the sun don't shine. He doesn't hate the military in any way, he actually likes it, he just doesn't care and don't have any wish to be in it. Asking him to enlist would cause him to laugh his ass of and tell you that it'd snow in hell sooner than he'd enlist. Of course, that was the age of 2012, but Tony would stand his ground, even in 1937. That was three hours ago.

* * *

 

Trees almost bent down to the ground as the small, barely visible aircraft landed in the middle of nowhere. A hatch opened and Tony stepped out of the ship. He got down, dumped the small bag he had with him and quietly blessed the sight of grass under his feet before he turned. Nuwnrn stared right back at him, the blue, feline eyes never leaving his own brown, human eyes.

“Thank you Nuwnrn, you've been of huge help.” Tony smirked.

“The least we could do Tony Stark, however, it is likely we will never meet again.” Tony nodded.

“I figured as much, well, I guess I should be on my way, to whatever the heck I would do, safe trip back, hope you don't get shot down by whatever these people have created in this time.” Tony said.

“Good luck Tony Stark.” Nuwnrn stepped onto the aircraft.

“Wait, Nuwnrn.” Tony called out, finding the name falling from his lips easier than several weeks ago when he first met the Deshainn. Nuwnrn turned slowly, nodding for him to continue.

“If you ever meet a man name Thor Odinson, or anyone related to his world, they are named Asgardians, after their world Asgard, please tell him where I am, or at least that I'm alive.” he said. Nuwnrn nodded. His face was serious, but his eyes showed the smile behind the alien features. Maybe even sympathy for the man out of time and from another world.

“I will, good bye Tony Stark.” Tony nodded as the hatch to the ship closed and the aircraft started up, readying to disappear into the sky. Tony sighed and turned away. The ship disappeared behind him soon enough, but Tony didn't see, didn't want to see. This was it, he was stuck, on Earth, 1937, and he had no idea what to do with himself. So the brunette grabbed the bag and hoisted it onto his right shoulder, looking about.

“Okay, um.. guess I should start with finding out where I am.” he muttered. This wasn't a forest, by the oaks to go by. In fact, the place seemed rather familiar. Tony turned, walking over the grass, coming to a stone path.

“This is a good start.” he said to himself. Tony wasn't entirely sure if it was though, but he had to keep his hopes up, no matter what. His head summed with questions about what to do, where to go, who to go to, who to ask, what to live as. Tony knew himself quite well, being a playboy and genius billionaire who could build quite a few things from some scrap. The path was suddenly lit with light and Tony looked up to see a corner light and walked directly towards it. The light was flickering, a typical early 1900th century lamp. The path widened until he was out of the seemingly large oak forest or whatever it was, and promptly stopped.

“You've got to be kidding me?!” Tony croaked. Cars sped by, just like the cars his father used to promote in the 40's. And he knew this city. He turned and looked down the street. High above the building stood the one building he could easily recognize.

“Well, fuck me sideways, it's New York..” he muttered, then he started to smile happily.

“This couldn't really get any more stupidly crazy could it? If dad walks by I'll go and bury myself alive!” he muttered, looking around like a kid on a new magic show. Everything was different from what he knew, different from what he had. There was no Stark Tower close to the Empire State building, no Helicarrier in the horizon ready to fire at any stupid alien attack, or at Loki if he ever showed his ass anywhere near Earth again. Everyone seemed to mind their own business, not noticing him. Without a doubt Tony looked like any other citizen, except he was dressed in black from head to toe, so to speak. He looked about, hoping to find something to do. He didn't have any money and soon he'd begin to starve if he didn't find work. Though even he knew that there was another way. Army. Tony snorted.

“No! Nope! Not happening! Forget it!” and walked into the park again, shaking his head. He wasn't stupid and he wasn't into killing himself. He wasn't joining the army, not in this year, not in any year. He was speaking the truth when he had snapped back at Steve, saying they weren't soldiers. He most certainly wasn't. Tony stopped and kicked a tree, then cursed at the pain surging through his foot. He looked up.

“What am I going to do now?” he couldn't just walk to nearest police station and tell them that the future son of Howard Stark had turned up from a parallel universe. He'd be locked up before he could even finished the sentence. No, he wasn't a complete fool. Tony sighed and leaned against the tree he had earlier kicked. His foot was still hurting and he felt overly stiff all of the sudden. Tony looked at the bag. His entire mind was on full alert, ready for anything to happen, yet, this was 1937, nothing happened yet, not until 1939 anyway.

“I wish I at least had someone to talk to.. at my level of intelligence!” he added to the silent night, staring around. There was quite a few homeless here, but none of them looked as fancy as he, nowhere near anyway. But he needed some new clothing, he would stand out too much with the clothes he had right now. Black, tight pants with black boots, black top and black leather jacket wasn't exactly normal in this day and age, well, no age for that matter. Tony groaned and heaved off the tree, stretching before he cracked his neck. The man sighed afterward, then he grabbed the bag again before he chuckled manically.

“I'm so screwed..”

* * *

 Tony was sitting on a bench, in a tiny room waiting for a doctor to come and see him, someone who could tell him just how healthy he looked and eye the strange metal on his chest with curious eyes. No, he was definitely not doing this. He was just on a check up, that's all, nothing more. Or that's what he kept telling himself anyway. Tony was, without any other option enlisting, and he regretted it before he even did it. Now he could just look Steve in the eyes and tell him how pathetic his little outburst on the Helicarrier was and he was completely right and Tony was a complete idiot.

“Well then..” a doctor entered the room, closing the curtain. Tony sat there, uncomfortable with showing his chest. The metal screamed back at the doctor, who stopped, eyes wide at the metal on Tony's chest. Of course Tony had been smart enough to put a metal 'lid' on it to keep the blue glow from showing and proving that his chest held an entirely secret element and that the entire thing ran on clean, self-sustaining power. Tony squirmed in his spot. He knew his scars showed. The scars around the arc reactor, showing just how painful it had been.

“Um, doc? I'm waiting..” he managed to finally say, snapping the doctor out of whatever thought he was thinking. Tony prayed to dear God that the doctor wouldn't call another few doctors, pry the arc out of his chest and find out what it was, instead the doctor smiled. Suddenly Tony thanked God that the Deshainn had removed to shrapnel. So if anyone decided to pull out the arc, he wouldn't die from shrapnel, though he'd probably die from overloaded hearts going at full speed after a few hours. That wasn't a comforting thought either when he thought about it.

“So, Anthony Edward Stark is it? You've waited quite a few more years than most to enlist.” the doctor said. It had been quite a fuss when he introduced himself as Tony Stark, or, well, Anthony Edward Stark. And it became even more of a fuss when he said he was already 41. If anyone knowing his father, or at least the man who would one day be his father, they'd completely loose their face in shock. Tony knew it was useless. 1937 and his father had barely tipped 20. He might as well be his own father's father, or older brother, in which case, he's be Howard's long lost, 15+ years older brother, and that was so stupid Tony laughed at the mere thought of it.

“Yeah, I didn't really see the need to, but.. I got bored, and really, I think I can use my brain for better things than just walking around in Central Park with a lot of free time and no actual work..” Tony answered. The doctor nodded, a chuckle ready on the man's lips. Tony watched with slight interest as the man checked the papers he held and suddenly Tony found himself imagining that this was how Steve was when he tried to enlist, meeting Dr. Erskine and the leading up to becoming Captain America. The tiny, scrawny and frail Steven Rogers who had tried, and failed 5 times to enlist, only to be picked up by a doctor who realized the potential in Steve's heart. A bottle of super serum later and a perfect soldier was born. The perfect soldier and a gentleman to the core. The man out of time. Tony could see how confused Steve would have been in the future. He was equally confused now, and Tony had accepted that this time, he was the man out of time.

“Hm, indeed, and you seem to have quite a clean sheet, though the S in your journal is a bit worrying.” he saw Tony flinch. S stood for 'sick', one of two terms in Shell Shock. He hadn't realized it at first that they didn't use PTSD in this age. Shell shock really didn't fit the term, well, it did, but not as much as PTSD, not that he'd admit that. And he was glad he didn't get W, because then he'd have to wear a 'wounded stripe' on his arm. That wouldn't look good.

“Battles.. and water..” he muttered. The doctor frowned.

“As in? What actually happened?” he asked. Tony laughed.

“Got tangled up with some really nasty people, water torture can break any man doc.. I'm not even going to start with the fight, the things I've seen..” Tony managed, he was already breathing harder. There was no way he would leave this place with his hearts beating at a normal pace. An anxiety attack right now wouldn't bode well for anyone. At least he had been lucky enough that no one had noticed that he had a second heart, which he was extremely grateful for. If they did, he'd be strapped to a table and opened up. It wasn't all that common for people to be born with two hearts, there was a few, but still very rare. And even rarer for a person to receive a pair of new hearts by aliens, which sounded very weird.

“I see, well, it shouldn't really be much of a trouble, of course, depending on how much stress, or water it takes before anxiety or depression kicks in.” Tony nodded.

“Stick my head in a bucket of water and you'll have me screaming for mercy.. usually there's nightmares, I don't really have much else.. if anything else, I'll be strapping myself up for a one way ticket to the loony-bin.” Tony said, his eyes and body language serious, far to serious for a man who was once only a billionaire, playboy and genius. The doctor nodded.

“Well, healthy and with a good kick of humor, it will get you far!” the man stamped his papers before he gave them to Tony.

“Welcome to the army Stark.”

* * *

 

“You are an idiot Anthony Stark!” Tony slammed his head into the locker again. How completely stupid could he be? This was just too out of character for him. If he had the gang here, he'd piss them off enough to kill him so he could escape this, but no, he had to be just so lucky as getting stuck here, alone. Here being a boot camp. It wasn't funny, no, it was nowhere near funny and right now he wanted to hit the nearest cadet in the face, or maybe he'd hit a general, yeah, that should keep him out of trouble for a while. Tony sighed, resting his forehead against the cold metal of the locker. The new clothes felt weird too, scratched in all the wrong places. He wore the usual cadet clothes, for those greenies that just enlisted. And yes, Tony fucking Stark, also known as Iron Man, had enlisted in the fucking army. Oh what a clever guy he was.

“Hey, Stark, you okay?” one of the nearby cadets asked. Tony groaned.

“I feel like I just did something really, really bad..” he muttered. The cadet, a young, dark haired man with a twitch in his left eyebrow and green eyes. His name, whatever it was, Tony couldn't remember, he had never been good at names. Nor did he actually care, Tony had but one mission in his head, get a life, or more directly, get back to his old life. What better way than going through boot camp as a cadet? Okay, maybe not the best, but hey, Tony had had worse ideas, and they had worked out pretty well for him.

“Really? Dumped by your dame? Or the whole fact that you just enlisted?” Tony turned his head slowly. Okay, so they didn't actually know he was a playboy, but they couldn't have know he had a girl, even if he had one, which he didn't, though he did see Pepper as his girl, right?

“No, why the fuck would I have a girl? I'm 41 fucking years old, anyone else my age would be married and have three kids.” Tony groaned. Of course, if Tony was in anyway normal he'd have settled down with Pepper, or some woman that he had earlier had a crush on, but he feared commitment, didn't want to do it. He wasn't a family man, because he wasn't raised that way. He would be a horrible father, just like his own father. Or maybe he'd actually kill himself early on in a marriage, which was a higher chance of that actually living at an old age. Tony shook his head, sighing.

“No, I do have a.. dame.. I mean, did.” he forced himself to use the word, no one said girl these days, it was dame this and dame that, just like he presumed Steve did when he had his 40's moments.

“But..” he sighed. The other cadets he shared room with stared at him.

“I don't deserve her, nor do I think I'd actually keep myself alive long enough to even propose to her.” he said. The other guys probably gave him a sympathizing look, he didn't check.

“I feel for you man, it's hard trying to get along with dames AND being in the army at the same time.” another guy said. Tony didn't care of his name. No, he probably would at one point. It was almost like a curse. No matter what, the other cadets would eventually learn what a jerk Tony could be, or they would actually become good friends, but Tony didn't think the latter would be possible. He hoped there would be a time where he could look them in the eyes and tell them that he was a downright asshole, he was just, different. Well, what he really didn't want to say instead of different was insecure, broken, hurt, angry, all the emotions that had been building up inside Tony ever since he was pretty much born. Everything that became worse when the Chituari attacked. Some times he even had nightmares of the times he was kid, when he saw he father get drunk and throw furniture around in the room. Those nightmares was triggered by the fears of the alien fight. Of the anxiety.

“Something like that.. I just wish I could tell her that..” he said.

“You couldn't? Is she.. dead?” the one who had first talked to him asked. Tony sighed. Pepper wasn't dead, she was far from it, but she didn't even exist in this world.

“Yes..” he croaked out. Okay, a little white lie, but it was, in a way, the truth too.

“Man, that's horrible.” the others nodded. Tony just turned around, sighing again.

“It couldn't be helped, I would never have made her happy, she was far above my level.” there were some raised eyebrows at that.

“You're kidding, you look far from good enough for most dames out there, how come she isn't?” another guy asked, sitting on the bed he had. Tony just chuckled, sitting down on his own, the springs creaking under him.

“She was everything I wasn't, tidy, kind, selfless, charmingly oblivious and downright pretty, and she was ginger.” the guys whistled.

“Sounds like the perfect dame.” Tony could only nod, smiling.

“Yes, she was.”

* * *

 

Weeks turned into months and Tony, four months into his stay on Earth, got a leave from the army and went right to Flushing Meadow Park, or in this age, mostly called Stark Expo. It was now October, 8th. There was no way he could believe he was here. Tony couldn't stop an excited chuckle escaping as he saw the great stands and all the people. Tony knew this place, and he knew what would happen, even if it happened 5 years earlier than it was supposed to. The genius sighed. The place swarmed with people, all sorts of them, and he couldn't help himself, it was so weird. A year or more ago he had been here, of course, here in 2012, flying about, nearly destroying the place, well, the drones did most of that, not he. The stage was hidden by curtains, but Tony already knew what was behind it. He fixed his hat. As much as he had resented the uniform in the beginning, he was beginning to like it a lot, and he was slowly beginning to love the little things about this century. The curtains rose and people got a tad bit to excited for Tony's liking. He walked past the crowd, hearing his -no, not his anymore- Howard's voice and how he presented the new car and Tony had to take a double look. Howard was indeed how he was once in Tony's past, younger of course, but still Howard. However, even with that snarky, light and almost seducing personality, Tony could see the mask, it was all a faked personality. He could see the shy nature of this Howard Stark, so unlike the man he knew. Tony was more than surprised when the car actually started, in his world, Howard hadn't been able to start the car the first time on stage. Tony sighed, slipping out of the crowd, heading for the streets. Slowly, but surely, he was coming to terms with the fact that he was stuck here, and with 1938 closing in, he knew he had to get even better and get a higher position. 1939 was the year he dreaded, but knew would come, and he was the only one who knew too. Of course, the Japanese was already being outright evil towards China as he even thought about it, and he'd be lucky if he got shipped over to help the Chinese. He would, like most cadets that had gotten more than enough training, be shipped over to help the Chinese flee or something else that was considered help, even outright fighting against the Japanese, even if it wasn't their fight, not the American's.

“For the love of.. how many people decided to come today?” he muttered, squeezing past people before he bumped rather harshly into someone. He quickly grabbed onto the man as he seemed to lose his balance, but Tony steadied them both. The man quickly noticed his clothes and flushed.

“Ah, sorry.” Tony just smiled, looking at the face of the one he bumped into.

“Oh, no it's my fault, I really wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, I was in a bit of a rush.” he said, smiling even more. The brown haired man stared back, looking slightly ruffled. Tony could have sworn he had seen the man before, or maybe it was because he resembled someone? Yeah, that would make sense, but wait, who did he resemble anyway?

“Hey, Bucky, what the hell happened?” Tony felt his blood freeze slowly at the voice. So familiar, so unfamiliar, so precious and so, wait, so different. Tony turned. A tall blonde was coming through the crows, a couple of girls following his lead, quite a few others staring at him like they wanted to eat him. Tony couldn't believe it. Steve fucking Rogers, tall as the captain Tony knew, only real?! Tony had read the files and heard enough of his fathers stories to know that Steve was a scrawny kid before he got the super serum, so how come he was large and buff now? Was this another part of this world? Tony just stared at the man before he caught himself and turned back to the other male. So that was Bucky? James Bucky Barnes? The great captain's friend? The man who fell off the train and disappeared into the mountains? Indeed, he seemed to resemble the man described to him by his father. Tony held this back though, it was after all, still 1937, no need to rush the truth or even tell it, it might not even happen that way if this world really was parallel to his own. It might even be Steve who fall of the train for all he knew.

“Sorry Steve.” Bucky offered, giving a apologetic smile to Tony, who nodded back. Steve on the other hand, didn't even seem to notice Tony, who, despite his appearance, gave of a rather dominating, military aura. And wait, Steve had cursed hadn't he? Tony gave the blonde a perplexed look. He had never heard the captain curse, and no, Fondue isn't a curse. So this was the parallel Steven Rogers. A buff, cursing man who knew he had just about every girl, single or not, following his perfect body. Bucky smiled to his friend and Tony raised an eyebrow.

“I happened to bump into him.” Tony spoke up before Bucky had the chance to say anything. The blonde turned towards him, giving of the aura of an arrogant, strong man, obviously calculating him before he realized he was wearing uniform and seemed to at least hold back some snarky comments. Tony already felt like wanting to right hook this guy. He was everything the real Steve wasn't and everything he shouldn't be. It made Tony irk for a fight, one he was likely to lose.

“Ah, yeah, and no harm's done, so..” Bucky seemed to be a bit unsteady on his words.

“That is certainly good, hope I didn't scare you too much.. well, you'll have to excuse me.” Tony smiled his most charming smile before he walked past the two men, hoping it was the last he saw of them this year, if not at all, well, at least when it came to the parallel Steve or whatever the hell he was supposed to call him. Tony didn't like him a bit. He seemed like a downright asshole in the way he seemed to know he was better, stronger and bigger than everyone and he knew he had the best of effect on all the females and maybe a few males around. Tony made a beeline for the open streets, not wanting to think more about it. His face, having been completely controlled ever since he first saw the blonde slowly broke. He let out a gasp.

“Oh God..” he groaned. The man had brought with him some unpleasant memories from his own world. The nightmare-like memories. The words the captain had uttered while influenced by that blue stick of destiny. The sentences of compassion that came later. They worked surprisingly well together, and yet Tony regretted every stomping on his feet because he knew, just like Steve probably did, that they couldn't have a friendship when they argued like they did. There was just too high a chance of a spontaneous combustion between them. Tony looked over his shoulder at the spectacle as the crowds cheered on for the show.

“1937..” and so, Tony Stark decided to put his life and thought into the army.

* * *

 

There was some hushed crying, sobbing from the far off corners of the tiny room. Tony stood above, watching over all the hunched figures. Nothing could describe the feeling of fear and anxiety in the room. Tony downright hated it, it reminded him about Afghanistan and it reminded him of New York. The tension in his shoulders had been there for three months, ever since he got shipped off to China to help out some fleeing Chinese again. They'd found them almost right away and from there on, they had been sneaking Chinese refugees over the border. The women, children and men, all huddled together against the cold. No matter where you were, January 8th wasn't a pleasant time of the year. It was 1939, it was freezing cold and three soldiers had already been shipped home with frost damage and some not so major injuries. Tony held on, being used to abusing his body when he barely even left the house. A snowstorm was gleefully passing outside, and while Tony hated it, he was also glad, the snow would keep the Japanese from finding them. They'd managed to get twelve groups of 20 people out of the country by now. All in total 240 refugees, including 190 children had been taken over the border during the three months.

“Fuck.. it's freezing out there..” one of the other soldiers, Joe Ashner muttered. Tony had managed to finally learn a few names, but it was hard, most of the soldier's came and went within a month or less. Joe had been here since Tony came and was one of three soldier's who was still here after three months of icy cold nothing, Tony not included. Tony looked into his notebook. It was good he managed to bring it along. It was fairly new, drawn in skin and with his initials on the cover. He wrote down dates and years, names and birthdays as well as new things he learned. Sometimes, when he had nightmares, it was good to have the notebook, so he could read and make sure it had passed, it was nothing but a distant memory.

“Tell me about it..” Tony muttered back. He brushed a hand through his hair and swore he could feel ice collecting on his skull. He wrote down, with cold, shivering hands the date, what was happening, and keeping tabs on more clothing and maybe some Whiskey, because that could warm up anyone in this weather. There was some low murmuring from outside, but it was likely a shout, considering the snowstorm kept most of the sound from outside dull. Tony straightened and quite a few Chinese started gasping. Joe started talking on Chinese, calming them down and telling them to keep silent. It was good having a Chinese speaking man with them, unlike Tony, who went the other way. He moved the hatch that was also their door. Tony was well aware of the fact that if the Japanese found them now, there would be a bloodbath. He listened intently, closing his notebook and pushed it under his jacket, hiding it from curious eyes.

“It's Japanese..” he muttered. Tony wasn't stupid, during the year that had passed, he had been shipped to China three times, and yet, he hadn't learned the language, instead he learned Japanese to be able to hear and listen to the Japanese. It came as a good advantage when the Japanese was out in a snowstorm and yelling while they were inside, safe and able to listen to them speak rapidly in their own language. Tony was the only one able to keep up with them, but he needed silence to do so. The snowstorm wasn't really helping.

“What're they sayin'?” Chris Sander, another one of the long term soldiers whispered. Chris was a well built soldier with brain, brawn and heart well placed from Brooklyn with a funny accent. Short, brown hair and gray, bordering to blue eyes and nifty sideburns. Chris wasn't easily swayed either and a good friend to those who earned it. He was also one of the few who could stand being around Tony for a longer period of time without trying to strangle the genius.

“Tracks.. they've found tracks, not ours thank you very much, I covered them up.. no, someone else passed by.” Tony answered with a low voice, then he stopped himself to listen again.

“Five Chinese passed by apparently, they seems to have escaped Japanese imprisonment, nasty business that..” Tony said. Joe nodded, then he leaned in.

“Anything else? Have they spotted us?” he asked. Tony could help but grin.

“There's no way they found us! I've made sure of that, besides, the snowstorm is both slowing them and most likely making them confused.” he said. Some of the children started to sob, their parents, or guardian, or random stranger trying to stop them. Tony turned.

“Joe, stop them.. if they get any louder then even the snowstorm wont stop the Japanese from hearing us.” he said. Joe nodded. Tony had actually been there when they built the place, making sure it was built to hide people, and keeping them alive as well. It also had a second building connected to it. The sleeping quarters of the soldiers was the only place they had some privacy, but they were rarely there, most of the time they just stood around, taking turns on watching the Chinese, making sure they were well fed and some standing by the hatch door, listening to anything, making sure they were safe. Tony waited, then he sighed.

“Okay, they're gone for now.” Joe nodded, as did Chris. Tony pulled up the pocket watch he had in his pocket, having to squint to see what time it was and using his calculation to add to the time of Chinese.

“It already pretty late.. tell them to get some sleep, there's only four hours left until we leave.” Tony said. Joe, who had managed to calm a few children nodded and started to pass around the message. Tony sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers. He was getting a headache and his left hand was icy cold. He slowly lifted the sleeve, pulling back the clothes just barely. His skin was blue, bordering on purple and black, not a good sign. It was starting to smell like rotten flesh and Tony didn't like the charred black in the middle. Luckily it was only a small portion of his wrist. Chris handed him some bandage and Tony started covering the darkened skin with it before pulling the sleeve of his shirt down over it.

“That doesn't look to good.” Chris said, watching him. Tony chuckled.

“What does these days anyway?” he asked sarcastically. Chris just grinned back, then he sighed.

“But seriously, you need to get that checked, and it's spreading isn't it?” he asked. Tony nodded.

“It's rotting and it's icing, which keeps it from completely rotting.” he said as he tried not to think about the disgusting feeling of having a limp rotting, which is why he was happy it was so cold, then he wouldn't have to feel it, even if it smelled, but he knew he had to remove the rotten part of his arm eventually, he just hoped it wouldn't rot through, because he wasn't keen on amputating an arm. Luckily it seemed like it was still only on one side, and not even all the way through.

“Ew, Stark, you really do have some nasty facts..” Chris muttered.

“He always does, it's who he is.” another soldier, Wayne, said, eyeing Tony from his spot by the wall, leaning against it. Wayne, despite his often rude comments was a good man, with a good and honest heart and a pretty well made brain to go with it. Like most soldiers he was fit for the job. Tony raised an eyebrow, but still grinned his way.

“That I do, but how boring wouldn't it be without me hm?” he teased.

“Hm, not much really, but I guess laughing at you does make us warmer.” Wayne said.

“Admit it, you enjoy it.” Tony grinned when Wayne's body racked with a laughter.

“We enjoy it when you make yourself look like a fool, yes.” Tony pouted.

“Aw, that's not cool.” he did however, smirk.

“It is.” Wayne argued back, smirking just as much as Tony.

“Fuck you Wayne..” Tony muttered.

“No thank you.” and Tony laughed.

* * *

 

The boot camp was, unlike back in 1937 swarming with new recruits that had joined since the war started. It was October 28th, 1939 and five months had passed since the second World War officially started. America swore war against Germany, who had begun their senseless tirade of killing. Tony had, together with the few remaining soldiers in China been brought home on express plane. A few was sent off to ready the battle whilst Tony and Chris ended up back in boot camp, now drilling the cadets just like they were drilled two years ago. Tony sighed, leaning against one of the military cars. So much had happened since he went to China that he hadn't had time to think about his own issues, which he was grateful for. Tony was tired of using energy of having anxiety attacks. The first months in China had been hard, but, as January, 1939 passed, Tony had returned to America, gotten his hand looked at. He had been close to amputating, but they managed to remove only the rotten part and it healed well, but left a large, nasty scar. The war started not long after. It took him no more than a few seconds to see the seriousness in the matter. Now, on the other hand, the truth dawned on him, threatening to crush him down and he let out a gasp. He was stuck in 1939, he, Anthony Edward Stark, born 1970 was stuck in a time that was not his own and he was fighting a war that was not his to fight and his memories was playing against him. And really, that was bullshit. It was his fight now, because he was here and nothing could change that, and really, this wasn't even his own world, so he could take some liberty. He was lucky to be here and not in any other boot camp. He didn't want to shower with guys who could easily rip out the arc reactor, here on the other hand, people accepted his privacy and let him be alone, or he could easily bully himself some privacy.

“Ya look a bit riled up Stark, ya 'kay?” he looked up to see Chris standing there, in full uniform with hat in a jaunty angle on slicked hair and looking ready to go off and kick some recruit ass. Tony gave a halfhearted smile.

“There's just a lot to take in.” he muttered.

“I can understan' that, look, I'm headin' out to the bar today, care to join?” Tony thought about it for a long time. He hadn't been drinking much since joining the army. There were those time were he would break down from the past and the present meeting up and he would get senselessly drunk, it helped on his anxiety attacks too, but those were few and rare between. However, Tony wouldn't let a moment of some drinks pass him by.

“Sure.” he nodded.

“'Kay, 8, sharp!” Chris then walked off, leaving Tony to his own thoughts. Well, whatever thoughts there was. Tony groaned and closed his eyes. He was tired, more than he ever had felt or had been. He was 43 now, everyone knew he was old enough to be most of the recruits father. Back in his own world he had felt rather young, even younger when he met Steve Rogers, aka Captain America. The man himself was no older than 25 or 26, but because he slept for 68 years in frozen in suspended animation, of course he'd be around 90 by the time he meets Tony.

“Rogers.. huh?” he mumbled to himself as he looked up to the darkening sky, rain was threatening to fall. If Tony had the chance, he would return to his own world, but it seemed impossible, or at least it was. Tony had no way of returning so he didn't think about it. Maybe he'd just try to forget it, put it behind him? Yeah, that was a good thought, but no. Tony sighed, there was no way he could ever forget. The cave in Afghanistan, Yinsen. The arc reactor, Iron Man. Palladium poisoning, Pepper. Nick Fury, Avengers. The nightmares and the paranoia from New York also did it's work in keeping him from forgetting. Tony pushed himself off from the car and looked about, maybe he could annoy some recruits. He was already higher up in ranks himself, seeing he had been 6th Grade before he went to China, returning he got moved to 5th Grade. It was actually pretty funny being called Corporal Stark. Chris too, was a Corporal now. Speaking of Corporal.

“Corporal Stark.” Tony turned, almost smirking at being called corporal, it had a nice ring to it. Though he rather looked forward to being called Sergeant because that was a big deal. A young cadet stood there, looking maybe a tad out of place.

“Yes?”

“There is.. someone..” the cadet looked ready to flee in shame so Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Well, straighten and speak up.” he snapped. The poor man flinched under his glare before he straightened, going for a salute.

“Someone's here to see you sir.” the cadet said. Tony nodded.

“Was that so hard?” he then passed the man, patting him on the shoulder.

“You're getting there kid, work hard.” he said, before he left. Tony actually wondered who it could be. He didn't have any friends here, at least not any closer than a fellow soldier, and even they tended to stay away. Chris was one of the few who could stand being around Tony. He spotted two people standing by the gates and saw the corporal waving for him. So Tony walked over, hoping it wasn't one of those curious doctors trying to get their hands on his arc reactor again.

“I was called.” Tony said, finding the reason for his call quite quickly. A man his height stood by the corporal, Runner, or whatever he's name was. The man had short, dark brown hair a mustache and shy, brown eyes, and he was so out of place. He wore a dark suit, all right out of the 40's with suspenders and all. Oh wait, this was the 30's. However, the face was the part Tony couldn't stop looking at. So familiar it hurt. Howard Anthony Walter Stark, the one man Tony had thought hated him most of his life only to learned he was indeed loved by him long after his death. No, this wasn't his father, this was a parallel world. Tony mentally slapped himself. This Howard, barely passed 22 and was already a genius. Yep, definitely the man who would one day become his -no, wrong!- This worlds Tony Stark's father. Tony watched the man turn to him, staring back.

“You must be Anthony Stark.” Howard stepped forward, a hand reached out. Tony never was fond of hand shakes, but this was Howard Stark, he could make an exception.

“Yes, and you're Howard Stark.” Tony slipped a sly grin as he took Howard's hand, shaking it.

“Ah, so you've heard of me..” the man scratched the bridge of his nose, his gesture. Tony had never really thought about it, but the Howard he knew never had that in him, so he guessed the parallels was more effective with Howard than others. Tony just grinned more, showing his row of pearly white teeth.

“Who hasn't?” he asked back. Howard just smiled a bit more. Tony watched Howard as he mumbled something before Tony raised an eyebrow. Runner just watched them before leaving, muttering something about nerds and whatnot.

“But wanting to speak with me? I don't think I've blown something up at a scale.. yet..” Tony said. It was commonly known around camp that Tony, who now had his own little shack to stay in, would tinker with machines and other things, even blowing some stuff up, but it never resulted in more than a few missing eyebrows. Howard grinned at him, eyes gleaming with just as much curiosity as amusement.

“It was you name that drove me first, but I've heard of your skills of machines.” Howard said.

“Ah, yes.. I tinker a bit with some of the stuff I have, more of a hobby to pass time really, though I try not to blow them up.. if I do blow them up, it's mostly on purpose..” Tony said, grinning. Howard smiled more, nodding. His eyes fell to Tony's torso and the man from another world let out a groan.

“So you've heard..” he muttered, sighing. Everyone knew, even in other camps and offices in the cities was he known. A man with a large metal piece in his chest. Yet he was alive and actually in the army at the age of 43. It was curiosity that drove most to try and find Tony, but he would turn them down. No one would likes having their chest poked with instruments and on the other side, Tony didn't want them to know that the arc reactor actually was a machine working on clean, self-sustaining power that could change the world with the blink of an eye. Even the core was made of something they would never see with their own eyes. The element.

“Ah.. yes, who hasn't?” Howard mumbled. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“So, what did you want from me? I've been a bit busy..” that was a lie. Most of the cadets was already running around on camp, the others was either out on training or had free time. Howard seemed to believe him though.

“The doctor who enlisted you.. told me you have high IQ.. so I wonder why you joined instead of finding me really..” Howard said, grinning sheepishly. Tony laughed.

“Good question, well, I really thought I could do better in a fight, that's what I've been doing for the past few years anyway, I used to make weapons.” Tony finished, watching as Howard nodded.

“Weapons are.. necessary, even if it isn't a good thing.” the man said. Tony nodded at that.

“So, Stark, I'd love to work with you in the future..” Tony frowned.

“What? Are you enlisting too?” it was a joke, really, and Howard laughed, but not because it was a joke. Tony knew that, it was stupid asking a rising mechanic star to enlist.

“No, that army has asked for my help with weapons.” Howard said. Tony nodded, although he wasn't into weapons anymore, this was not his world, so it wasn't really his decision to make, or it was, but.. oh whatever. Tony smirked, holding out a hand.

“Okay, yeah, that would be nice, it's a deal.” Howard grinned, taking his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention Steve's a bit of a jerk in this story? Well, he is! It's the au-him speaking, something the au-Bucky isn't so good at :P


	4. Nazi's at our doorstep, 1939

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The grandeur of Tony's funeral in one world and Tony being a crazy butthole in another..
> 
> Nazi's attack the camp, but Tony is in the infirmary because of an injury, will he be able to do anything at all?  
> And a new recruit appears, one that will become more than a friend for Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Completely fucked the chapters up so I had to redo some of it, it still fucking hurts..  
> And a new character comes in :D  
> Yeah, Tony killing Nazi's is what I want, and what you get, did I tell you he's fucking crazy with a rifle?

 

It was raining, not hard, but soft, not drenching, but dampening the ground, gray sky. Just what you needed for a funeral. The empty coffin, the black marble gravestone, the flag and the medal of honor. None of it would ever make up for the one man who sacrificed himself to save everyone though. The man who had it all, money, fame, friends, a status as a hero as well as genius, a man who died with less and yet so much more. Steve stood there, just staring. The white text reflected easily on the wet marble. A single name, date of birth and death. _Anthony E. Stark, 03/03/1970 – 29/03/2012, beloved son, friend, boss, teammate, Hero._ Steve couldn't stop himself from clenching his fists. It was their loss, their miss, his fault. He felt a hand on his upper arm and looked to his side, seeing Virginia 'Pepper' Potts standing there, silently crying. It was a more secluded funeral, but the public showed their respect anyway, with groups carrying a candle in the city. Candles that was red and gold. The closest Tony had to family, Rhodey, Happy, Pepper was there. The Avengers of course, and even Fury, Hill and, surprisingly, Coulson. Steve had wondered how Tony would have taken the faked death. They'd seen the live feed from the tower, how Tony had heroically talked Loki down and gone on to avenge Coulson, something the agent had seemed to get oddly mushy and teary-eyed about. There wasn't more than those people in the funeral. Pepper took a deep breath.

“Don't.. he wouldn't want you to.” she said as if she knew everything, as if he had told her everything. He looked at the young woman, tears staining ample cheeks, lips pursed tight as if to hold herself back from sobbing. Steve shook his head.

“Stark was everything we can never be.. he sacrificed himself when we were too busy fighting.” he muttered. Steve didn't feel like whispering, he wanted to scream, he wanted to go up through the portal and pull the man back to the living. It was unfair. The man that was needed by New York the most was gone, the one man who was symbolizing how a human can become better, act better and use their strength for the good was gone and would never return.

“He wont be forgotten, nor will we allow him to.. he sacrificed himself for a reason, he wouldn't want to see us break from the guilt, he'd say something snarky, joke and then maybe punch you for it, but he wouldn't want to see it.” Pepper said. Steve's lips twitched upwards.

“I said a lot of things to him, some of it was very hurtful.” Steve murmured.

“I heard..” Pepper said, not looking at him now, but the grave instead.

“I wish I could take it back, take it all back and start all over, move on with peace..” Steve said.

“And you will, if you continue to fight, continue to live like you always have, moving on, doing better, becoming stronger and just being yourself.” Steve nodded, smiling a bit. His heart was swelling.

“Stark was lucky to have you by his side..” he said and Pepper smiled sadly.

“As long as it lasted, you just needed to poke under the armor to find his real self.”

“I understand, I wish I did then..” Steve rearranged the 40's army hat on his head.

“Tony Stark..” he thought and smiled to himself.

“Genius, billionaire, maybe a playboy and a philanthropist, but truly a superhero and a teammate.”

* * *

 

Tony tried, he really tried to keep himself from groaning. He pushed himself against a tree, sliding down to sit. He lifted his hand from his side and bit his bottom lip from groaning. Just his luck to get shot in the abdomen. Tony slowly removed his backpack and dug out what he needed. A bandage, a needle and some fishing line, which helped the most right now. If the others knew he had been sneaking needles and fishing line into his backpack, he'd be in for a scolding. Then he found his knife. Tony grabbed a nearby branch and broke of one part, then he bit over the one he had.

“I could some whiskey right about now.. that would help lots.” he thought. Tony sighed and bit harder around the branch.

“Okay, it's now or never..” he thought.

* * *

 

“Ya.. Stark..” Chris seemed at a loss of words as they sat in the infirmary. Tony just grunted back as he slowly, with the help of a doctor, got his shirt removed. Chris had seen the blood, known from the bullet's direction, the look on Tony's face as they returned and the way he stumbled in a feverish state. The doctor eyed the bandage before he slowly removed it, a nurse at his side to help him. Tony closed his eyes for a second, trying to ignore the way the doctor curiously eyed his arc reactor. It was hard getting used to that when you don't live in 2012 anymore, but in 1939.

“Doc, get over it..” he muttered. The doctor just eyed him. Chris eyed the wound that came to sight. The wound seemed to have been nicely done, but it had ripped open at a spot. Tony tried not to think about the swollen, infected skin around the wound. He was so getting a scolding for this.

“Stark, what the hell did ya use to close that woun'?” he asked, glaring. Tony swallowed.

“N't importan'..” he slurred, his mind fogging up from fever.

“Finishing line.. really?” the doctor asked and Tony glared at him, but it ended in a pout.

“What?! Stark, a fishin' line? Ar' ya out of yer mind?!” Tony thought about it.

“Yeh, most of t' time, I am.” he said, grinning, though it really came out as a grimace.

“Stark.. what am I goin' to do with ya?” Chris asked, shaking his head, both hands on hips.

“It's infected, and it needs to be stitched up again.” the doctor calmly said. Tony just nodded.

“Thought so.. God, I could use some coffee..” he mumbled. Chris sighed.

“Ya wont be back on the battlefield for a while, but ya have better be more careful from here on, or I'll beat ya up myself, and no coffee until you're better again.” then Chris left, still shaking his head. Tony sighed.

“Corporal, please lay down.” the doctor said.

“Ugh.. I hate.. clean.. places.. hospital's..” Tony managed through is feverish mind as the nurse helped him lay down. The doctor eyed him, amusement barely visible in his eyes.

“You're not the first.. now sleep.” but Tony's eyes widened and a hand flew up to his arc reactor, protecting it as if someone was threatening to pull it out. The doctor seemed to understand, he placed a hand on his.

“We'll make sure no one pulls it out, whatever it is..” the doctor said. That's the last Tony can remember. When he finally woke up again, he found no one there, it was silent. Too silent. Tony slowly heaved himself off of the bed. His mind was clearing of the fever fog. Though fever and pain was gone, he still felt a bit unsteady. He grabbed his shirt and jacket, pulling it on as he went for the exit. The camp was unusually silent. Tony could easily walk through the camp and he would have heard a pin hitting the floor on the other side. It wasn't usually like this. There was always some soldiers running about, training, but not today. Tony stopped up, listening in case something was very wrong, and it was always wrong if a camp filled to the brim with recruits and soldiers was this silent.

“This is wrong..” he thought, starting to sneak around in case something, or rather, someone was on the prowl. He checked each and every barrack and found none, the showers, the offices, all empty. He passed the canteen and stopped when he heard a sob. Tony was quick up against the window and took a peak. His entire body froze to the core. Everyone, every single person in the camp, except him was in there, laying about. There was blood everywhere, but there seemed to be a few soldiers still alive. Chris was one of them and Tony let out a sigh of relief. A few men was standing, they were different that the rest, they held guns and rifles and was dressed differently. There was a total of ten men. Tony tried to locate the sob and saw the nurse that had tended him. One of the men raised his gun to her forehead and pulled the trigger. Tony closed his eyes just in time before he pulled away from the window.

“Nazi's..” he cursed in just a whisper before he slowly made his way around the house.

“Weapons.. oh God.. please..” he muttered. He was quick back to his own shack, sneaking into it. He looked about before he pulled out the suitcase he had under his bed and opened it. He usually had a lock on it, a lock he recreated from the 20's century, so no one in this time would be able to crack it. He stared at the content and pulled out a rifle, a gun, a radio transmitter for emergencies and few more things, strapping it on. He put the suitcase back in place, grabbed his notebook, which was on the desk and quickly snuck out, climbing onto the roof, laying in wait. From where he lay, he had perfect view of the canteen. He put the rifle in place, and waited. It took ten minutes for the door to open and one of the men to exit, talking in rapid German. Tony's eyes narrowed before he pulled the trigger. The German soldier got knocked back, a bullet nicely in his brain. Two other German men exited in fast pace, looking around. Tony raised an eyebrow, reloaded and shot the next one, reloaded and managed to shot the the third through the eye.

“Fucking.. Nazi's..” he cursed. He reloaded the gun as the door closed, so instead he put the rifle back on his back, climbed down and easily got around to climb on top of a car, just barely peaking over the hood to look through the window. He grabbed the rifle again. Tony felt like Black Widow when he did this kind of thing, but right now, he thanked his father for wanting to teach him how to handle a rifle when he was just a kid.

“Okay, come to me..” he muttered. Tony saw movement in the window and put his finger on the trigger. One of the man walked past it, looking very agitated. Tony smirked.

“Bye bye.” he murmured and pulled the trigger. The bullet went through the window and the man hit the wall, blood splattering up against the wall. Two others came to check on him, then the grabbed their guns, making their way towards the window, but being cautious.

“Fools.” Tony could have laughed, obviously these men hadn't been trained well. He reloaded his gun, shot on of the German in the chest, reloaded, but had to sigh when the other hid, out of view. Tony cursed and slid down to the back of the car, out of view himself as he pulled out the radio transmitter. He turned to knot, praying to whoever that it'd work.

“Come on..” he muttered, trying to find some channel that lead to another camp. The nearest camp was an hour away, it should be enough distance for him to reach. The was some scratching noise, but Tony hoped the Nazi's wasn't listening in.

“What is your message? Over.” came the American accent.

“Well, fuck me sideways..” Tony muttered.

“Pardon?” Tony sighed.

“Nothing, this is Corporal Stark, we have an emergency, well, more like.. slaughter, fuck, we need help! Some Nazi's has made it into camp, everyone in the camp is in the canteen, I have no idea how many are dead, most of them, including our doctors and nurses! Over.” Tony stopped himself when he heard a gun shoot and cursed.

“Do you have a number on how many Nazi's? Over.” came the rapid question after some seconds. Tony almost groaned, hoping they'd stop using the 'over' all the time, it was annoying.

“I've shoot 5 already, there are 5, maybe more left, but I can't deal with them and hope that the soldiers inside the canteen survive, I need lots of doc's for this.. and help.. over.” he held back a groan, a pain in his abdomen rising. Without a doubt, the stitches was giving away.

“We're sending over a group of soldiers right now, there are doctors on their way right behind.” Tony sighed of relief.

“Good.” he lay down the radio and pulled up his rifle, sneaking up again, seeing a guy peeking, just barely at the edge of the window, but it was enough for Tony. He pulled the trigger and grinned.

“One less, a few more to go.” he thought to himself. He grabbed the radio and turned it off. There was no way he would risk being found, he'd be dead on the spot if he did. Tony slid of the roof of the car and ran over the to one of the barracks. He easily climbed up, sneaking across the roof to find an ideal spot. Tony lay down, preparing his rifle again and then looked at how many bullets he had left.

“Only four, well, at least I have a gun too.” he thought, putting his rifle in place, loading it. He waited and waited. Then he saw a torso, no head, because he too high, but he shot anyway, hitting the man right in the chest. The man flailed with his arms before clutching his chest. Then he fell over, not moving. Tony grinned. No men came to check on him this time.

“Three more? Yeah, maybe there's just three more.” He put the rifle back on his back, but just in case, he loaded and pulled off the safety of his gun. Of course, he had other methods of dealing with spies and whatnot, a simple twist of the neck, which he had taught himself just in case he would ever need to protect himself. A kick between the feet did just about as much of damage, but it didn't kill whoever he kicked. He heard some yelling on German before the door of the canteen opened and slammed shut. Tony peeked past the barrack and saw two German men loading their guns, preparing to shoot whoever took down their men. Tony raised an eyebrow and slipped behind the barracks.

“You lose..” he muttered. This was his ground, they didn't know the camp the same way he did, and for that, he was glad. Tony didn't have much of stealth moves, but he considered himself light and fast enough to easily slip around. He ran as silent as he could, over to another barrack, hiding behind it. He heard boots on ground and easily slipped into the shadows, waiting. The man was passing by when Tony grabbed him by his head, one hand over his mouth and one around his forehead. Tony dragged the flailing man into he shadows before he snapped his head to the side fast, easily breaking his neck. The man fell to the ground, eyes wide, dull and dead. Tony grimaced.

“Not as fun as it appears to look..” he muttered. He heard the other German whisper and turned, fleeing to the back of the barrack and quickly climbed up. Tony knew that walking on the roof really didn't mean he was silent so he quickly grabbed his rifle, loaded it and laid down, pointing at the opening between the two barracks where he had grabbed the first Nazi. The other man came into sight and Tony was quick on the trigger, however, it missed an hit him in the neck instead, but it did the job, if not being a bit messier. The man grabbed his throat, falling to the ground, flailing and making gurgling noises. It took quite some time, but soon the man stopped moving, a puddle of blood around his neck.

“There, now there's just a few left.” he stopped himself when he saw the cars entering the camp. Military cars. Tony let out a sigh of relief. He put his rifle back onto his back and slid down from the roof, ignoring the pain in his stomach. He kept himself out of the view of the windows of the canteen and soon met up with the soldiers that came from the cars.

“Corporal.” they saluted to him, but Tony couldn't care less about formality.

“There's probably a few more Nazi's inside, I've taken out most, there's still a few soldiers alive, some need help right away.” he said quickly. The soldiers nodded, they grabbed their rifles and the guns, readying themselves. Tony lead the way, sneaking up before they split up into groups. Tony sent one on each side, one to the back where there were a second door and waited. Tony lined up his gun and shot at the door, high enough for it not to go through and hit a few soldiers. It obviously startled someone on the inside, because someone appeared. Another Nazi. Tony didn't wait, pulling the trigger again. The Nazi fell down the stairs, dead. The next seconds were a blur. Soldiers entered from the back and the front, several more standing around each window if a German idiot thought it would help going that way. Tony stood behind the last remaining soldiers who was on standby. Another car with doctors and nurses came, readying themselves. Tony was about to turn when a hand wrapped around his neck.

“What the-” he shouted, but stopped, feeling the barrel of a gun pointed at his head.

“Drop the weapons.” German accented English. Tony shuddered at the thought of being close to someone who followed a half crazy man trying to take over the world. The soldiers acted quickly, turning around, but stopped short. Tony squirmed, not liking this.

“Drop them!” the German yelled, the soldiers slowly put their rifles down, but Tony would have none of it. He sank downwards a bit before he shoot up, using his head to hit the man's chin, then he slipped out of his hold as the German man grabbed his chin, cursing in German. Tony lifted his gun, aiming it at the man.

“Give me one reason for keeping you alive.” he said, glaring at the man. The soldiers was quick to get their guns again. The German cursed again before he smirked.

“We're already done anyway.” the man said before he bit over. Tony's eyes widened as he realized what happened.

“Wait!” but the man fell over, foam coming from his mouth.

“Freaking cowards, all of them.. biting the capsule and all..” Tony muttered.

“There are none other Nazi's alive sir.” a soldier that came running said. Tony turned.

“Good grief, get the soldiers out of the canteen, help those that needs it most first, hurry!” he yelled at the end. The soldiers scrambled to do as they were told. Tony was quicker than them though and was already running towards the canteen. He jumped past the dead and barely alive to find Chris. The man was laying on top of another soldier, a dead soldier. He crouched and saw the bullet wound in his thigh.

“Hey, Sander, look at me, hey, wakey wakey.” Tony said. Chris groaned and opened his eyes.

“Stark, yer awake..” he muttered. Tony grinned, helping Chris to sit up.

“Yeah, kind of woke up when I was shooting Nazi's with rifle..” Tony said.

“Of course ya were, look, Stark, those guys.. those Nazi's weren't after just killin' everyone in the camp..” Tony frowned.

“What? What were they after?” Tony asked.

“They were askin' some nasty questions.” Chris said, giving a toothy grin.

“About what?” Tony couldn't see why they would ask soldiers about anything, they usually didn't have much information, you needed to go to a Sergeant to get that.

“'Bout ya.” Tony's eyes widened as he had to fight to hold his balance.

“What? Me?” he asked. Tony couldn't understand what the Nazi's wanted about him, except one thing, and it sent a chill down Tony's spine.

“Why? Why would they ask about me? Is it because of..” he pointed at his chest. Chris nodded.

“They said it gives of energy.. or some shit like that.. God knows what those crazy bastards was even thinkin' half the time.” Chris said, trying to get up. Tony offered a hand. Now, don't get him wrong, Tony never liked doing that sort of thing, but when you're in the army, you tend to change.

“We'll speak about it later, let's get your foot looked at, it's kind of nasty.” Tony said.

“Yeh, hear ya.. fuck, I need a drink after this!” Chris muttered as Tony helped him up.

“First drinks on me then.” Chris grinned at him.

“Thanks Stark, it's wonder ya don't already have a dame.” he muttered.

“What, me?” Tony laughed, helping Chris over the many dead.

“Yeah, I mean, yer a bit old, but a good man, 'nd yer always so popular with the dames at the bar in the city.” Tony thought about it.

“It's because of the war, I used to get dames all the time, and you Sander, likes dames to much.” Tony couldn't help how easily dame came out of his mouth. It was one of many words he had picked up during his time here. Sometimes he hated it, but he let it happen anyway.

“Is that so much of a surprise?” Chris asked. Tony chuckled.

“No, it isn't.” soldiers were being tended to all around them as Tony got Chris to sit down on a chair and grabbed a nearby towel.

“Can't do much more than this, tie it around you thigh to keep the wound from bleeding to much.” he said and Chris nodded, taking the towel. The man was already getting paler and his eyes became a little more dull.

“If I ever get my hands on a Nazi 'gain, I'm goin' to kick'em between the feet.”

“Sure you will.” Tony laughed, pressing a hand against his own wound, trying to be subtle.

“Ye'r bleedin'..” Chris said. Tony grunted and turned, of course he'd notice.

“Not important right now..” he muttered.

“Stark..” Chris warned. Tony didn't answer right away, so Chris sighed.

“Just get it looked at will you?” Tony slowly nodded and Chris turned to look around.

“This just had to happen right before Christmas didn't it?” Chris asked. Tony nodded. The country would soon know that a good 37 soldiers, and 3 army doctors and 5 nurses died December 15th 1939, never to return and celebrate Christmas with their families. Tony pulled out his notebook again, scribbling down the date, keeping tabs on it made it easier for him to move on when he knew that this was the date and not some other day he'd forgotten again. He closed the book and put it back into his jacket, then went back to pressing the wound, keeping it from bleeding to much.

“Sadly, yes, there's gonna be a lot of families without their son, brother or father.” he said.

“Yes.. there is..”

* * *

 

“So, the reason they came, was actually to get their hands on Stark?” one of the Sergeants, Dean Sacreal asked. A nasty man with a habit of yelling and maybe a bit of bullying. Tony sighed from his chair while Chris nodded.

“They implied to want to know why he was still alive with a piece of metal lodged in his chest, and about some.. energy readings..” he explained. Dean sighed, rubbing his wrinkles with annoyance all over his features. Tony eyed the man, who was, in fact four years older than himself. Christmas was just around the corner and everything was lively. All the cadets and soldiers that had died had been sent home and a huge number of funerals was being held. Chris was already up and going, though he was limping because the of the bullet wound in his thigh, but it was healing. Tony too was getting better, the wound was healing nicely and he wasn't in risk of opening it up just by stretching anymore.

“For the love of- Stark, did you know this?” the man asked. Tony stared back.

“No, not before Sander told me anyway, I didn't think anyone outside of.. well, New York knew, apparently I was wrong..” he stated. Someone knocked at the door before a younger man stepped through. The man did a salute, then he spoke.

“Howard Stark is here sir, he wants to speak with Corporal Stark.” the man said. Tony turned.

“Stark? Here?” he asked. The man nodded. Dean sighed.

“Fine, there isn't much more we can do but tighten our security, and Stark, be more careful.” Tony nodded and got up together with Chris. They both left, knowing that this was far from over.

* * *

 

“Stark.” Howard turned and gave Tony a half smile.

“Ah, I heard about the accident..” he said. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“And the fact that they were after me? I don't doubt half of New York knows.” he said.

“News travels fast.” Howard said, scratching the bridge of his nose.

“Yes, so it does, maybe even a bit too fast too, don't you think Stark?” Tony said, grinning.

“Please, just call me Howard, it's kind of weird being called Stark by another Stark.” Howard said, now scratching the back of his neck, smiling shyly at him. Tony just laughed. It felt good talking to someone whom he could talk like this with. Able to push the nightmares to the back of his mind. To momentarily forget the pain and the fears.

“Then call me Tony.” Howard tilted his head to the side.

“I thought your first name was Anthony.” he said. Tony grinned.

“Yes sir, but I prefer being called Tony.” Howard nodded.

“Tony it is then.” the younger Stark said. Tony smiled.

“Okay, then, Howard, what can I do for you?” Tony asked.

“We've been thinking about infiltration of Germany for quite some time, and this should give us enough reason right? But we need someone with a brain on the inside, if you know what I mean.” Howard explained, looking around a bit, obviously he didn't want anyone to hear this. Tony nodded.

“Yes, I see the sense in that, you want me on the inside, sadly I do not understand German, nor speak it.” Tony said, giving a grimace. Howard smiled.

“That wont be a problem, we have German speaking agents on the inside that can teach you, the mission in itself doesn't start until August next year, so you have enough time to learn it, if it's enough time.” he said.

“Yes, that is quite fine, I'm a fast learner.” Tony agreed, nodding.

“Good, I'm looking forward to working with you, Tony.” Howard said, holding out a hand. They shook hands and Tony gave a chuckle.

“It's my pleasure to work with you too Howard, let's make some nasty machines and take out a few Nazi's together hm?”

* * *

 

Tony gave the recruits an overlook. All of them was made of typical American blood, tall and buff. There was one man, who stood out, one he recognized. A bit shorter than the rest, about his own height. Brown hair and looking a little uncomfortable with the others around him, especially the one standing to his right. Tony wasn't quite sure what was happening when he felt heat rise and his heart gave a weird and uncomfortable ache. Tony frowned. He had an idea what was happening, he just didn't like the idea. Tony turned half away and could see, from the corner of his eyes how the man bumped into the shorter one all the time. Tony knew who the shorter man was. Barnes, James 'Bucky' Barnes, but he didn't say it out loud. He turned back and started walking. He didn't talk yet though, just watched them. It was April 23rd 1940, the camp was back to bustling with life despite the slaughter last year. Tony gave himself a mental note to stop thinking to much about it. After all, the Nazi's had been after him, and killed a lot of good soldiers and a few civilians because they couldn't find him.

“I'd say welcome to camp, but as you will come to understand later on, I will have to welcome you to hell.” Tony stared, keeping his back and head straight, like a role model. The recruits stared right back at him.

“I'm Corporal Stark, and will be the one drilling you until you drop dead or you become a nice soldier.” he said. As he passed by Bucky, he could see the other bumping into him again, trying to get him out of line.

“Before you go to your assigned barracks, there will be a few rules to be told, first of all, no wandering about after curfew, and no lady visits, even if it's your mother.” Tony enjoyed the uncomfortable looks of on the recruits a lot more than he probably should.

“You get up at revelry, stand ready, properly clothed and bed made, or else I'll make sure you'll be washing the toilets with a toothbrush for a week, also, you will do as you are told by your superiors and the one most important detail.” Tony stopped up right in the middle of the line, staring at them all in turn.

“Respect, not only are you to show those above in rank respect, but also those of your own rank and underneath, bullying is non tolerable and any disrespect with receive my right hook, and trust me, I don't bitch slap.” Tony said, keeping his glare at them all. Bucky seemed almost unable to keep in line by now, so Tony stepped towards the guy doing the pushing.

“You, step forward.” the man did so, keeping a arrogant smirk on his face.

“What's your name?” Tony asked.

“Trenshon sir.” Tony raised an eyebrow at the tone he used. Tony however, just smiled sweetly.

“Okay, what was I just saying two seconds ago?” he asked.

“Respect sir.” a joking tone. Tony continued to smile.

“Yes, very good, then tell me, how will your fingers look after a week scrubbing the showers?”

“Not so good sir.” the cadet answered, seemingly not taking this seriously. Tony smiled.

“Well, good you realize that, because that's what you'll be doing for the rest of the week.” he said. Disbelief fell onto the man's face. Tony still smiled.

“As I was saying, bullying is not tolerated and I will make sure you know that, even if I have to punch it into your brain, got it?” Tony asked, glaring, but still smiling, giving him a definitely evil look on his face. Bucky stared at him in shock, as did the rest, but a few could barely keep from smiling themselves.

“Back in line Trenshon.” Tony snapped and turned to walk again. He had only taken a few steps when Trenshon coughed, but even an idiot could hear it was faked and there was words. Tony turned back, walked over, staring at him, but smiling.

“Anything you wanted to say Trenshon?” he asked.

“No..”

“Oh, but you see, despite my age, I have good hearing, please do share with the rest alright? Now, step forward.” Tony said. Trenshon did so, but obviously hadn't expected to be punched so hard in the face he stumbled back, holding his nose. Tony still smiled.

“For the record, I'm not even 44 yet, so, no, I'm not an old, grumpy bastard, and I will hook you again if you show disrespect to anyone, back in line, and remember, tomorrow, 1000 in the showers, I want it clean before dinner.” then he turned, giving Bucky a wink with his eyes.

“Hahaha, already drillin' the recruits ar' ya Stark.” Tony turned to see Chris.

“When am I not?” he asked. Chris came over.

“Don't ever stand up 'gainst Stark, I tried.. it didn't go so well.” Chris said. Tony chuckled.

“This is Corporal Sander, and as much as I have charge, he does too and trust me, he doesn't like people spitting words at his back, much less than I do.” Tony said. Chris smirked.

“Oh, but I love punchin' people.” he said gleefully. A few recruits stared in shock.

“Well, I'll leave the rest of the drillin' to ya Stark, gotta do some drillin' myself.” Chris said, walking off. Stark turned back.

“Get to your barracks, settle down and if I get wind of any pushing around on other people, I'll be the first you'll be answering to.” he said, then waved them off, but stopped Bucky as the others disappeared off, probably complaining. Bucky stared at him.

“Um..” Bucky seemed at a loss of word, Tony just smiled.

“Nothing to worry about, I'm not going to ask you about bullying and give you advice, that shit's not up to me to do, but I couldn't help but ask you anyway, you were at the Stark Expo in 1937 weren't you?” he already knew the answer, he just wanted to poke some fun in the guy and see if he recognized him.

“Y-yes sir.” Bucky answered. Tony smiled.

“Thought so, I was thinking I had seen you somewhere before.” Bucky's face lit up.

“Wait.. you are..” he began, and Tony smirked.

“Yes, I'm the one who ran into you, I wasn't a Corporal back then though, I was just a recruit.” he said. Bucky just nodded lamely.

“So, what's your name? I couldn't help but notice you reacted to Bucky.” Tony said.

“James Barnes sir..” Bucky said. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“So, why Bucky?” he asked. Bucky shrugged his shoulders.

“My friends call me that, sir.” he said.

“Oh, that tall, buff and blonde you talked to?” Bucky nodded.

“Steve? Yeah, amongst other people.” Bucky murmured. Tony made a note to try at get some baby-Steve stories out of the guy later.

“He didn't enlist? He seems like he could take on a few Nazi's barehanded.” he asked.

“No way, he might actually be strong enough, which he is! But Steve doesn't care at all about enlisting, in fact he is completely against it.. er.. sir.” Bucky said, catching himsefl in the last second. Tony raised an eyebrow as he realized just how different that was from the captain he knew, but so similar to himself.

“Tell him I was the same, I wouldn't have joined the army in any way either, but, as you can see, here I am.” Tony said, grinning. Bucky stared at him before he smiled, nodding. Tony grinned back.

“Yes sir.” Bucky answered a couple of seconds later. Tony nodded.

“Yeah, by the way, if that guy tries anything again, remember, tactical fighting is better than just pure strength.” and Bucky looked like one big question mark. Tony was having to much fun with all of Bucky's expressions. He'd never met anyone with so many ways to use his face.

“You mean you don't know what that is?” the Corporal asked, and Bucky shook his head. Tony stared for a long minutes before he started laughing. He tried to stop, he really did, but it was so pitiful. Bucky looked like Steve when he tried to understand what Galaga was with those big, confused eyes and a tilt of the head. Tony slowed down.

“Okay, sorry, I'm laughing way to much for my own good..” he tried not to start laughing again.

“What is tactical fighting then?” Bucky asked, having a bit of a pout and Tony thought his heart hit his ribcage on purpose. He hated that kind of feeling, it made it giddy and careless.

“Tactical fighting? It's were you fight using the enemy's strength against them as well as using you brain together with your body, because most people just punch straight forward.” Tony explained. He wanted to pull something about science into this, but refrained. No one in this age would understand it anyway, except Howard of course.

“I'm going to be the one drilling fighting into your head Barnes, and tactical training is one of the things I'll show you.” he said, grinning slightly manically. If the recruit was lucky, he'd learn it before 42 and thus be better prepared for the shit going down, not that Tony would tell them, he couldn't bring himself to do that. Bucky nodded, looking a bit more bright.

“Okay, go and get used to the bed, trust me, you will need time with that.” Tony said, giving a sharp motion of his head. Bucky saluted.

“Yes sir.” he said. Tony smiled and nodded as Bucky turned, trotting off to the barracks.

“Already gettin' new friends ar' ya? What 'bout me hm?” Chris appeared out of nowhere behind him, faking a hurt expression. Tony nearly hit him for scaring the hell out of him, but stopped himself and turned, an eyebrow raised.

“You? I forgot about you three decades ago, now stop scaring me!” Tony said. Chris pouted.

“Stark.” he whined. Tony laughed.

“So, you were eavesdropping were you?” he asked back, grinning.

“Nooooooo, I just happened to pass by, ya don't exactly hide that yer fond of the guy.” he said. Tony tilted his head to the side, pretty sure he gave a very confused look right then.

“What? Fond? Of who?” he asked.

“That recruit just now.” Chris said, shaking his head. Tony blinked his eyes a couple of times, then he smiled slightly, chuckling.

“Oh, Barnes? Well, he might have what it takes to be at the front of the fighting lines, a brain and heart right were it should be.” Tony said, trying to keep it strictly military business. Of course, that wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the entire truth either.

“Ya knew that from just talkin' with him for five minutes?” Chris asked. Tony sighed.

“I met him before, at Stark Expo a couple of years ago, good guy, very young though.” Chris nodded at that.

“He can't be more than his twenties, but then again, looks can be deceivin', can't they, ya look thirty an' yer already in yer mid forties.” Chris said, grinning and making Tony pout.

“Hey, it's a good thing!” he whined and Chris just laughed at him.

“Sure is, hey Stark, let's drill'em well tomorrow.” and Tony grinned manically.

“Yes, let's do that.” they laughed well and long together from that.

“God, I need a drink, join me at the bar?” Chris asked as they moved back to the canteen.

“Hm, yes, I could use a shot, how about 6? I need a shower before going anywhere.” Tony said. Chris nodded and opened the door to the canteen so they could get their food and in Tony's case, coffee, even if it was the military type black sludge that would kill any normal human being. It wasn't Tony's fault he got used to the black stuff, but he wasn't complaining now. Tony grabbed a cup and filled it with military brand coffee. Chris came over, tray in hand. They scouted an empty table by the windows and went for it.

“How's the lessons goin' anyway? Aren't ya learnin' German?” Chris asked as they sat down at the table. Tony gave a tired look before he downed half of the black, bitter liquid. He smirked over the edge of the cup before he put it down.

“I'm already at the finishing line, there's still four months until I leave though.” Tony said, putting the cup to his lips again.

“It's gonna be silent without ya here, ya always rile the recruits up so much most of them almost drop dead at curfew, why do you think they call you Iron Fist?” Chris and Tony laughed of this for another good five minutes. They continued to talk to themselves as the new recruits and other soldiers entered. Tony and Chris watched as they went about, got their food and such, sitting down at random places. Then Bucky entered and Tony literally choked on his coffee.

“Is that.. a black eye I spot?” Chris asked while Tony tried desperately to clear his lungs of coffee while the recruit passed by. Tony wheezed for a long minute afterward.

“Stark, ya 'kay?” Chris eyed Tony, who held a hand against his chest, feeling his hearts beat far to fast for comfort. The soldier groaned and took a few deep breaths.

“Y-yeah, I didn't think it'd take him that fast to get into trouble, I already know who did it anyway, but still..” Tony waved a hand at Chris, clearing his throat. Bucky, with food in hand, turned to leave, barely avoiding becoming one with the floor and his food. Tony glared at the guy beside him, who had tried to push him, hard. So, Tony did what most Corporals avoided.

“Barnes.” he called out. Bucky looked up to see him, visibly flinched and failed to hide the injury. Tony beckoned him to come over and sit down, so Bucky did, because when you're a recruit and a Corporal tells you something, you listen.

“So, Barnes, was it the guy I right hooked today who gave you that?” Tony asked, using a sweet, sugary tone that had Chris shuddering in his place by the table. Tony waited for an answer, watching as Bucky poked his food, or what looked like it, with his fork. Tony sighed when he got no answer.

“Look Barnes, he's going to continue doing that if you don't stand up, why do you think no one dares to stand up to me anymore?” he asked. Bucky looked at him.

“He's stronger than me, sir.” he muttered. Tony sighed in annoyance.

“I am looking forward to the tactical training more and more Barnes..” he said.

“Um.. yes.. sir..” Bucky mumbled. Chris just smirked.

“Don't let Stark scare you, even though he says it like that, Stark really takes great care of his men and trust me, no one touches his 'recruits'.” Chris said, grinning slightly. Tony gave Chris a surprised stare, which slowly dawned into a different look, one filled with hesitation and memories. Memories of a man who told him differently. Chris and Bucky stared at him.

“Stark? Ya 'kay?” Chris asked. Tony nodded and stood up suddenly.

“I'm fine, nothing.. nothing's wrong..” and left. But Tony wasn't fine.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :D Finally we can get this story on the road!


	5. Infiltration of Germany, 1940

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suffering more and more nightmares, Tony ends up having to talk to Bucky, can it go without Tony spilling his guts?
> 
> And finally, Tony is off to Germany, to infiltrate and sneak Jews over the Nazi border.  
> To bad that the end of the stay, he steps on a land mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, uh, this chapter has a lot of foreign language talk, mostly German, Italian and Spanish, so yeah.. ahahaha, google translate for me (except the Spanish, because I have a Spanish friend)  
> It jumps a bit I guess..
> 
> There's a little bit of killing in this chapter.. but then again, when isn't it?
> 
> So, yeah, if anyone talks the languages I've written, and it's wrong, PLEASE tell me so I can change it, I suck at these kind of things..

 

Pictures flickering. Voices. Faces. Someone he knew.

“ _-stop pretending to be a hero..”_ someone said. Tony tried to wrench himself away. He didn't want to hear it, not again.

“ _-isn't everything?”_ everything what? Oh, about him, right. No, it isn't. Never was. They were lying. The magazines, the news, the interviews. They were wrong! Tony tried to back off. He was pressed up against a wall, or maybe it was something else. He couldn't move, couldn't get away.

“ _Yet you're confused about why they didn't want you around?”_ Tony cried out, trying to cover his ears. No use, the voices was in his head. One single voice, a man's voice, someone he knew. Tony cried out again, covering his ear, but still to no avail.

“Stop it.. please.. stop it!” he cried out, closing his eyes tightly. But no, the voice was relentless. Pictures started coming with the voice. A face, young and without a single wrinkle. Blue eyes, harsh and cold. Blonde hair. A spiteful facial expression. Tony shook his head several times.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Stop!” he pleaded. He didn't want to hear or see it again. The memories flooded his mind, despite his own wish for them not to. Tony turned his head away from the spiteful face, the cold facts and accusations.

“ _I've seen the footage, the only thing you really fight for, is yourself!-”_ Tony felt like crying, he felt like screaming, he felt like he'd rather die than hearing this again.

“ _-you know that's a one-way trip?”_ and Tony woke up, choking on a scream.

* * *

 

“Woah, ya look like shit, have ya even slept for the past days?” Chris asked as Tony sat down by the table, coffee and something resembling food in his hands. Tony gave Chris a tired look. The bags under his eyes wasn't hard to notice. Bucky, who had ended up sitting by their table by now, gave Tony a concerned look. Two weeks had passed since the new recruits arrived and they had settled in, Bucky already getting some footing and Tony showing that no one fucked with him. And the nightmares was only a small part of it, even if it had been three days since he had last had a wink of sleep. The nightmares was a mixture of the fight with the Chituari and the cave in Afghanistan. His PTSD or whatever he was going to call it, was beginning to kick in and he was left without sleep, scared of reliving what he had gone through.

“Got some things to work on.. I easily forget to sleep when I'm working, you know that.” Tony joked it away. Chris sighed.

“I know that one Stark, ya havin' nightmares 'gain? I thought they stopped.” he said. Tony glared at him and turned to his cup of warm, black slug.

“Ugh..” Tony grunted, deciding his food was far more interesting, whatever the food was anyway, if not edible. Bucky turned to look at Chris, who sighed.

“Stark sometimes has the sleeping pattern of a bat, and sometimes like a dog, even like a snake, he tends to fuck up his sleeping hours all the time, if not for work, he suffers nightmares about something that happened before he enlisted..” Tony put his fork a tad too hard and Chris stopped, both staring at Tony with caution.

“It's because of what happened that I enlisted in the first place.” he snapped, but kept his voice low so that no one turned from where they sat. Christ and Bucky stared at him.

“What? Really? Stark..” Chris sighed when Tony turned, readying to get up, not having touched his food at all. Bucky stared at him as Tony ditched the food, grabbed his cup and left, not saying another word. Chris groaned, and turned to Bucky.

“Fine, Barnes, I'm givin' ya a mission so listen, talk to Stark, he seems more fond of ya than anyone else at camp, if not anyone else at all, weasel out of him what happened, one way or another, it's for his best.” Bucky gave Chris a confused look.

“He wont like it sir..” Bucky said.

“I don't care, it'll lift his shoulders to get it out.. no matter how much he seems to be made of steel, his core is softer than anyone else's 'round this place, just talk to him so I don't have to beat him up 'gain.” he said. Bucky nodded, stood and left.

 

* * *

 

Tony looked up from his place on the spring bed when there was a knock on the door. He already knew who it was, but wasn't all to inclined to let them in.

“Corporal Stark..” Bucky called and Tony groaned.

“Fine, come in..” he grunted. Bucky entered shortly after, closing the door after himself.

“Sander sent you didn't he? He tends to do that..” Tony said, slumping onto the bed.

“Um.. yes sir.” Bucky answered, looking around a bit. So Tony did so too. There wasn't much in his room, but at least he wasn't sharing. No one would share with him anyway because of his mess, his nightmares and sleeping pattern. It wasn't that messy, but he didn't keep it tidy at all either. His deck was littered with all sorts of paper on several different languages. The walls covered with plans and science plans. Bucky just stared at it all, once again looking a bit more confused. Tony grinned. There wasn't much more in his room except that, his bed, a nightstand, a locker and his suitcase under the bed where he hid what he felt the need to really hide in case anything happened. Like the killings in 39.

“It's not really as tidy as I want it to be, but I never get around to actually clean it up..” he muttered and Bucky looked at him. Tony moved his head towards his chair and Bucky took it, sitting down.

“Sander thinks that I need to see a shrink, I don't, trust me, I've done that before and shrinks does, out of general knowledge avoid me and they hate me to the core.” Tony said before Bucky could say anything.

“I wasn't going to- Corporal Sander said nothing about that, sir.” Bucky said.

“Oh, he's getting gentler with me..” Tony muttered, faking relief.

“You know.. I'm scared..” Bucky suddenly blurted out and Tony sat up.

“Of what?” he asked back.

“The war, dying, losing everything, you know.. but most of all, that I wont be accepted by those closest to me.” Tony got that odd look on his face again. Being accepted, confirmed to be able to make choices that are for the better of humanity. Tony knew those kind of feelings, knew how it felt, how it was to be looked down upon.

“Everyone is afraid of those things..” Tony said. Bucky nodded.

“I know, but I know I can't be of much help in the war, I just, want to prove that I care, that I.. have the heart to put myself in the line of a bullet sir.” he explained and Tony bit his bottom lip, a sad look on his face.

“You will, trust me.” he said then, masking his sadness, but he realized Bucky saw it anyway.

“Is that it? You want to prove yourself?” Bucky asked. Tony sat up fully, then looked away. A heavy silence fell around them and lasted for a good minute before Tony finally cracked, putting his elbows on his knees and rested his face against the palm of his hands.

“I was told I care only for myself, that I am no hero, that I could never put my own life on the line.” he said. Suddenly Tony wondered what the team thought about him now. Most likely was the captain going through various stages of guilt, that is, if he even felt like he had said something wrong. Was he going to be remembered as something more than just Tony Stark, an arms dealer who turned hero and wanted to save the world? Was he going to be remembered for risking his life for New York and nuking the Chituari army? Tony didn't know, couldn't know, and it didn't matter much anymore. He couldn't return. To them he was dead. The great Tony Stark was dead. It was good he had left Pepper in charge of Stark Industries as CEO.

“You don't seem like that type of a person at all.. sir.” Bucky said. Tony shook his head.

“I changed.. I used to deal weapons for war, but I stopped, I only stopped after I nearly died by the hands of one of my own weapons.” Tony said. Bucky gaped.

“Really? That sounds nasty.” Tony laughed.

“It was, I had shrapnel lodged into my chest all over and if one man hadn't acted, I would be dead, but he saved my life.” Tony said, smiling fondly. Yinsen. Tony could never stop in his tracks, he had promised Yinsen and he would never break it. He didn't know why he was telling Bucky this, but it felt good, different from talking with Pepper, or Chris, or Howard. But it was a good different. Bucky nodded.

“So that's why you have nightmares, sir?” the blue-eyed soldier asked and Tony groaned.

“No, sometimes.. but because I'm afraid..” Tony fell silent. Bucky nodded for him to continue.

“Not everyone on camp knows this, only a few superiors and some fellow Corporals.” Tony muttered.

“What is that, sir?” Bucky asked.

“Sick..” Bucky tilted his head to the side.

“Shell Shock.. not bad enough that I wasn't just dismissed, but who would think that I would be afraid of water.. or have serious anxiety attacks?” Tony mock-asked. Bucky's mouth fell.

“What? You're afraid of water? Wait, anxiety, as in how?” Bucky asked.

“To an extend yes.. I try not to think about it, at all in fact, I can shower in water, I can drink it, getting my face drenched in rain.. but I can't be under surface.. as for anxiety, I get really, really freaked out if I think to much about certain things.” Tony muttered, then he shuddered. It was hard, not thinking about New York, the Chituari or the cave, to avoid thinking about what Obadiah did to him.

“Sorry, this really isn't any of my business, even if it's good that you tell some about it.. sir.” Bucky said. Tony smiled.

“It's.. surprisingly okay.. I haven't told any other people, not even those I considered friends, it developed so late I never go to actually..” he said. Tony wondered if he should have told the team back home about his fears, about his water terror. Should he had told Pepper? Happy? Rhodey? No one knew what he had gone through back then, not even his AI and he had always seemed happy to keep it that way, so why was he regretting the decision now? Because he was becoming soft? No, because he was becoming more human, more caring. It was because he never got them to understand.

“Why then? Why me sir?” Bucky asked.

“You remind me of someone.. someone earnest, honest and incredible innocent and brave, it's kind of weird really.” Tony said, then he sighed.

“But you're also very different, he judges so easily.” he said, smirking.

“That doesn't sound like a good man sir.” Bucky said.

“Well, we had an argument the first time we met, and we never squared up.” Tony sighed.

“He died sir?” Bucky asked. Tony shook his head.

“No, he isn't dead, I just.. we lost touch with each other after a rather nasty chain of events and I haven't seen him since..” Bucky nodded.

“That was in?” the soldier asked.

“1937..” Tony answered and sighed again. Well, he couldn't tell the kid it was in 2012. Bucky would probably just laugh at him or maybe even call the loonies to pick him up.

“Have you tried getting back to him? You know, talking to him sir?” Bucky asked, but Tony just shook his head sadly.

“I have no idea where he went, or even if he actually is alive.” of course he is alive, Tony left making sure that that stupid patriotic captain was alive. The rest of the team too, but really, who was he kidding, he was trying to prove to the captain that, _'yes, I can jump a nuke and send it into space, me riding on it's back, which is not as fun as it sound and ops, I think I nearly died but got stuck in another world instead'_. Okay, maybe not in that way, but still, if they knew he was alive, would they even search for him? The question continued to pester him until Bucky actually looked concerned.

“Just me thinking angsty thoughts, nothing to worry about.” who was he kidding? Oh yes, himself. Bucky didn't seem to believe him, but Tony mustered a grin and shrugged and the younger man seemed to calm down a bit.

“Barnes, I appreciate this talk a lot more than I would actually admit.. not many people can get me to talk about this..” Tony said. Bucky's fell into a toothy grin and Tony couldn't but smile too, his hearts doing a double loop and being completely stupid according to his brain.

“I mean, even if it isn't any of my business and your my superior, I don't mind the talk, really.” Bucky said. Tony nodded, opening his mouth to answer.

“Yes, I'll keep that in mind the next time I get all smoochy and teary eyed.” Bucky laughed.

“I really do not hope that, there will be a danger of snoot on shirt and we can't have that sir.” Bucky said, and Tony laughed hard. Harder than he had in years. It felt surprisingly good to have someone to laugh with, even if it was 1940 and you are right in the middle of a world war. Tony knew that he was far to happy about certain things than he should and that he was lacking certain skills he probably should have learned before August, but he hadn't know, hadn't realized he'd come back to hell.

 

* * *

 

“Wir suchen Adler Reginhard.” the voice was booming, strict and Tony flew up from his chair when he heard it from the crack in the door. Okay, maybe not his best reaction. Adler Reginhard, yes, his faked name and identity. Well, shit. Tony looked about, then smirked. His room was barren, not a single proof of his existence left. Only his backpack and he himself remained in the normal, German private school office he had. Sneaking into Germany was the easiest part, teaching a group of bratty ten year old's about math was the hardest. Now he was off, finally going home. Tony heard feet, typical German military issue boots clicking against the floor, coming towards his room and Tony did what most people do, curse.

 

“Mierda.” Tony cursed, not actually realizing until ten minutes later he had actually cursed on Spanish, but who cared, certainly not he, who was currently climbing out and down a rope made of sheets. This was, indeed his grand escape. Load of bullshit. Maybe he would even curse on German just to be finished with it? Hm, no, he wouldn't dare put his precious curses on German tongue. He went another way instead.

“Bastardi, potete solo andare all'inferno!” he spat. Okay, that was Italian, and Tony seriously needed to learn a few more languages so he could spit curses all over the place in so many different ways that the Nazi's would literally become red in anger.

“Verdammt.” he heard above him, and Tony could help but grin.

“Er kletterte aus dem Fenster! Nach ihm!” and Tony chuckled, landing on the grass.

“Idioten, die ganze Bande!” he muttered. Okay, so he could say something ugly, or at least, snarky in German. Fuck, he deserved a gold star for this calmness while being chased by Nazi's on German soil. Tony was quick across the grass, easily slipping into the woods behind the private school, but even he knew that the Nazi's was right on his heels.

“Er rannte dort entlang!” he heard behind him and scoffed.

“Well, obviously I'd run this way, you'd think they where blind in turn or something..” with his cover blown there was no way he could stay, nor was he intending to, but he wouldn't have minded another day to boss around those spoiled little brats. Tony actually took a few moments late at night during the year to figure out if he had been the same. No, he had been worse actually, and stroked his ego as he seemed a bit proud about it. Now, Tony was anything but out of shape, even if he had been staying at a all boys private school for an entire year, but he was capable of outrunning a few Nazi's without any problem. At this pace he wouldn't even break a sweat and he was already losing the idiots. Suddenly he tripped over something, a long string.

“Joder!” he cursed as he rolled over right away, getting up in time to see a Nazi move towards him. Tony was, however quicker. He not so gracefully slid under the gun arm, moved up and drove his fist into the soldiers nose, sending his nose bone into his brain and killing him. He turned in time to hear crunches and saw another soldier, aiming at him.

“Fahr zur Hölle, du Bastard!” he spat before throwing himself at the German. The gun went off and he felt the bullet go through his arm, but easily pushed it into the back of his mind as he wrestled the man to the ground and forced the gun to the Nazi's head before pulling the trigger again. Tony got up, looking at his upper arm. He had been lucky the bullet had gone through, he didn't want to deal with digging out a bullet, it was far more painful than he wanted to think about.

“Justo lo que necesitaba, a la mierda!” he cursed, then chuckled to himself.

“I need to lay of cursing, at least if I start cursing only on Spanish..” he mumbled as he started running, ignoring the pain in his arm. If he was lucky, he'd lose his loser Nazi stalkers and joining up with the escapees and fellow American infiltrators on the way out. It was part of his job after all. He could no longer hear the Nazi's, but that was most likely because they found their fallen comrades and Tony could only imagine the look on their faces.

“Devo fissare la ferita così..” Tony shook his head.

“Stark, focus on English, not Italian, German, no, not even Spanish!” he ordered himself. He looked at the watch. He had been lucky to get away this early, if he was even luckier, he would be able to make a pit stop, stitch up the wounds and return to the pin point and furthering the plan.

“Well, gotta make this work.. you're a Stark after all, you've battled drones almost twice your size and shot yourself through alien.. wales.. you can do this.” Tony thought about the fact that he would actually rather fly through the Chituari 'wales' ten times again instead of being here, but from time to time, he didn't mind. This was making a better man out of him, even he knew that.

* * *

 

Tony drew in a sharp breath, fall wasn't as rainy as he thought it would be and it was quite warm, but it was blowing rather hard. He hunched over, grabbing the backpack and hoisted in on his shoulders. He motions for another man and he nodded. They got up and went over to a good 30 people, men, women, children. All pale, thin clothed, skinny, starved, Jews. Tony grit his teeth at the sight. He had, ever since he had started learning about the war in his own world, hated the Nazi's for their ways of treating Jews, gays and other people, or rather, those Nazi's thought wasn't human. It was wrong, and it was inhuman.

“Mitkommen!” Tony whispered to the nearest Jew, a frail, but tall man, who nodded. It wasn't hard for him to understand their mumbling, considering he had learned German and didn't mind the talks he could have with the Jews that wasn't to scared to talk. They had packed themselves into a group with the children in the middle, the women at the sides and men in front and back. There was Tony, and five other American's escorting them, or rather, sneaking them out. Tony looked around, it wasn't quite so fun to walk around in such a pretty forest when you were sneaking Jews over the border from Germany. Tony had been in Germany since August last year, now it was September 17th 1941\. Over a year had passed since he had infiltrated Germany as a teacher for a private school. A strict 'I'm not kidding around, brats'-teacher who was sneaking Jews over the border late at night. Today, however, they did it early, too early. Tony couldn't help the yawn escaping his lips.

“Getting sleepy?” the fellow American walking by his side asked. Tony groaned.

“I could use a long sleep, I don't care on what, I could even sleep on concrete right now, or maybe needles..” he muttered. He didn't want to raise his voice to much. He had nearly been caught seven times, but escaped with his identity and health in safety during the smuggling of the Jewish prisoners. The forest didn't actually crawl with German soldiers, but they had their posts, and Tony knew them better than he knew his arc. Today was, luckily his last day in Germany. It hadn't actually ended that pleasantly as Tony recalled as he had done a rather dumb move, but managed to lead the German soldiers in the wrong direction before regrouping with the escapees and his fellow countrymen. Tony stopped suddenly, listening.

"Stopp! Sei Still!" he hissed and the words flew through the Jews in seconds and they fell into a dead silence and Tony crept off, listening as good as he could. These were moments like this he wished he had the captains super hearing, but as he neared, he heard low, German muttering. He snuck up behind a tree, still too far away to be noticed and sure enough, two Nazi's standing guard. Tony frowned. One was no problem, as Nazi's never came solo, only pairs or triplets. Tony turned and walked quick, but silent back to the rest.

“Move, now..” he muttered before he gave a sharp sigh, but not audible enough to be heard by the rest.

“Weiter, aber vorsichtig.” he muttered. The Jews started moving again, silently on the leaves fallen from the threes. It had, luckily, rained earlier, but not enough for it to be too muddy to leave prints, but enough to soften the leaves so they wouldn't make sound. Now you remember the skill Tony never learned before he left? That one thing he never learned and never will. To shut up! Tony was always talking, if he wasn't he was muttering, whispering, mumbling and whatnot, even if it sounded like a constant buzz to the others most of the time. Tony easily switched from Spanish, to Italian, sometimes even talking on German before doing a few words on English, then going to Dari before heading back to Spanish. He just never shut up, at all. And most of the times he was muttering equations and different atoms and usage of atoms.

“Christ Stark, for a Corporal you are way to annoying.” the guy next to him complained, finally having enough. Tony just grinned his way.

“Took you long enough to point out, really, I tend to piss of everyone within the first day, you've survived three days, a fucking gold star for you.” he whispered back, keeping sarcasm even in these situation was one of Tony's strong points, despite his lack of understanding the meaning of the words 'shut up'. The guy sighed.

“Trust me, I can deal with a lot if I can deal with Nazi's talking rapid German around me all day about killing people..” he muttered back and Tony gave him a hard look.

“I know that one, just as hard as looking into German children and trying not to think of what they will become..” Tony whispered back.

“No, nope, not thinking about it!” was the answer. Tony's eyes darkened when he thought about those brats.

“Spoiled little annoying-” he cursed silently on Spanish again.

“They were that bad?” the guy next to him asked with a hushed voice. How they even managed to keep a conversation while sneaking Jews over the border of Germany was a miracle in itself. Tony just nodded.

“I mean, I knew I was a brat when I grew up, trust me, I was the worst spoiled kid, the only child who got whatever I laid my eyes on just to keep me from wailing, but those kids, argh, I wanted to strangle them more than once..” Tony groaned. He lifted his right hand and had to grit his teeth. He hadn't had time to stitch up the wound so he just wrapped it tightly in bandages and hoped it'll do fine, obviously it wasn't. Throughout he time in the army, Tony had gotten quite a few scars. The bullet wound in his abdomen, the new wound, several old ones, cuts, scrapes, but enough to make him look weird, if not just a bit more rugged and buff.

“Let's at least make it over the border before you start bitching.” the soldier said and Tony couldn't even try to look offended. He was too damn tired and couldn't really care less at the moment, yet he continued to mumble to himself, like he tried to keep himself awake.

“Yeah, hear you kid..” he answered. All the soldiers, even the Jews was younger than him, which was kind of surprising, and yet not at all. Though considering Tony was biting the apple well into his forties, it was surprising how fit he seemed. Tony shook his head. All that mattered was the Jews, nothing mattered except them and Tony stood to that until the bitter end of the slowly colder journey towards the border. He just hoped he'd make it safely and he might actually not see Germany for a year or so if he was damn lucky.

* * *

 

There was something wrong, so very sickly wrong. Tony went ahead, sneaking about between the tree lines when he stopped, the smell was unmistakable. Rotting meat. Sickly stench of rotting bodies that he easily spotted at the edge of the dim forest. Tony tried his hardest not to bend over and puke. The sight was so horrible. How could humans do something so sickly? Yet he found the answer just as easily. Because we're humans. His blood froze instantly when a new corpse was thrown onto the heap, it slipped down to the ground and the moment it touched down, said ground went sky high.

“Of fuck! Fuck, fuckity fuck!” Tony ran back, making sure he wasn't noticed.

“New route, right now, dumping ground right ahead, with fucking land mines all over the fucking place.” he says in a hurried voice. The rest of the American grouped up. Tony, who was more used to these routes, easily supplying them with a better route. The group was split up with two and two soldiers leading way. Tony and the guy he walked with for most of the trip waiting with the last group of Jews. One of the guard came back, making sure that the last group was full as Tony, obviously only to make sure, walks a bit away from the rest to check that the people on the border haven't been noticed, sees the turned soil near his foot a tad bit to late.

“Uhoh..” even if he threw himself away, he couldn't stop the ground from flying his way, growling and biting at the trees right by as well. Tony slammed into the ground, cuts and scrapes all over, some deep and serious, some barely to shrug at. Stone and, fuck, was that wood? Yes, wood lodged into his skin all over his right side. He could feel his right leg and arm burn with pain, but it seemed to dull despite it. Tony however, could not assess his wounds as darkness took over his mind, pulling him into dreamless sleep.

* * *

 

Tony groaned out loud for the umpteenth time today. Everyone kept looking at him like he was freaking God himself or something, or wait, no, the devil, surely they thought he was the devil considering he was already up and walking after one month and three weeks in medical. Despite the doctors consistent and often annoyed pleadings at him to stay and fully rest, Tony was not a person who rested when there was work to do. Tony looked around for something, or maybe someone to annoy. There was one person, which he spotted easily, but Tony would never use him as a punching bag out of respect for him and for the captain. This Tony mentally slapped himself for.

“Tony, get a grip!” he muttered to himself. He had to realize already, he had to stop hoping. There was no longer a Captain America, no longer a Iron Man, no longer Avengers Initiative, no longer New York 2012. He didn't have the time, energy or the will to dwell on it any more. It was a lost cause. The man Tony zoomed in on the other hand, was not a lost cause, in any way. At least not according to his own brain anyway.

“Barnes, good God, one sane soldier who wont look me in the eye and see meat rolled over by a tank.” Tony called and Bucky, dear Bucky completely froze and gaped at him at the sentence before the man broke down in a fit of laughter. Tony came over, grinning from ear to ear and Bucky still couldn't stop laughing.

“Really? Am I getting that good at jokes with you?” Tony said, chuckling. Okay, maybe he's jokes was getting on the sick side, but who could actually blame him? It wasn't his fault that the border from Germany to France was a complete disaster, on his part anyway. Tony hadn't been quick enough to notice the land mine, despite having just lead the Jewish refugees away from a route that could have lead to a massacre, and instead nearly been blown to pieces himself.

“Only you Corporal..” at least Bucky managed to show some respect through his mirth to at least call Tony by his rank. Bucky had changed since he last saw him. The man wore his uniform with pride, and he fit it well. The man had become Corporal while Tony was away and they shared an often wondrous and humorous chat in the bar. But his fighting skills wasn't all that good. Bucky was, on the other hand, insanely good as a sniper and Tony knew very few soldiers who was a better sniper than him. Tony, of course, knew this before they even met, but that still didn't stop him from getting a shock when seeing it first hand. He had noted down Bucky's skills and characteristics in his notebook because he liked to have fun thinking about what the Bucky from his world was like and how different his parallel was. Tony tapped his forehead after a good fifteen minutes.

“You still alive? Look, I need some scotch, so, how about it, bar, 7 sharp, let's find some pretty dames.” and Tony didn't even try to stop himself anymore from using the 40's words. Lost cause, yes, that's what he was, a lost and very confused cause thrown into a world that was nearly a lifetime behind the world he had been born in.

“Yeah, that sounds nice, but are you sure you should be walking around like that?” Bucky asked, eyeing the bandages. Tony had been lucky. His entire right leg and arm had been thorn up, it had healed quite well, but it was scarring. There had been no broken bones, only a sprained wrist and more than a dozen cuts, most running deep into his body with both rock, dirt and wood lodged between flesh. It had been a nasty business getting it all out, well most of it anyway. Tony still had a uncountable number of tiny rocks and soil on the outer layer of his body.

“Sure? Of course I am, these are all minor scratches Barnes, I might have to drill into your head that I'm as far from frail as Thor is human.” he said, then caught himself. Bucky had, however, seen it. The sadness, the realization, the 'I didn't do anything wrong'-look. Bucky tilted his head to the side before Tony caught himself and laughed bitterly, masking his sadness.

“You've heard of him right? The Norse demigod of thunder, Thor?” he asked, pretending he wasn't familiar with Thor, that he wasn't alien in this world. Bucky shook his head and the former billionaire wasn't even remotely surprised. Few knew of the Norse mythology now-a-days. The only things boys thought about now was war.

“I'm not much of a religious type, Stark, is there something wrong?” Bucky asked.

“What? Oh.. yeah, the Norse mythology isn't a religion, in fact, and of course there's nothing wrong, what made you think otherwise?” Tony asked, avoiding looking at the soldier. Few could read Tony's face like he did, though Tony could swear it was because Tony had a lousy poker face when he felt guilty or ashamed. Bucky gave Tony the look again before he sighed.

“I don't mind if you tell me, Corporal, you are unlike most here, welcoming no matter who we are and you see us all equally..” Bucky said before he fell silent. Tony gave a toothy grin, making the band aid on his cheek wrinkle up. He probably looked a bit weird, bandaged up and in uniform, hat jaunty position on his head, on top of much longer hair slicked back. One of the few things that hadn't changed with Tony, was however his goatee, it never changed. Even during his time in Germany, he never removed that typical Tony Stark goatee with mustache. He felt naked without it.

“Of course Barnes, I'm not a complete asshole.” he said and Bucky nodded, grinning.

“And really, you are someone of your own aren't you? Sometimes I wonder if your from another world or something..” Bucky said, and Tony froze, but Bucky hasn't noticed because he is still talking. Tony couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't move. Though his mind screamed at him to flee, his body frozen. For a long moment, Tony is horrified he'll have another anxiety attack, but then his brain finally connects the extra cables. He drags in some deep breaths, startled when he realized he had been holding his breath. Tony had early on realized that running gives of the wrong signal, staying and weaseling your way out does to, but he opes for the latter and hopes that he can somehow change the subject. It had been a while since his last anxiety attack and he doesn't want to have one now. So new subject is far better.

“I do? I hadn't realized?” Tony tried, getting out a somewhat strained laughter. Barnes laughed.

“You often talk about math and science, heads above anyone I've ever heard of and ever had the honor to meet.” Bucky said, then his shoulders rose slightly as he adapted to this shyer stance. Tony had seen it before, he didn't know if the Bucky Captain America knew was like this, but he liked Bucky like this, even if it was a part of his more perverted mind supplying him with those facts. Tony grinned, using this as a chance to mask the turmoil underneath.

“I tend to suck up everything I find interesting and I'm a smart ass with a far to be ego for my own good, really.” he said, watching as Bucky's face cracked in a toothy grin.

“Smart ass? Well, sure, but I would say genius instead..” Bucky answered, snickering and Tony just gaped at him. He had never told anyone he was classified as a genius, though he had in his childhood and teenage years been called a child prodigy.

“Well, close to the truth anyway.” he said, shrugging and grinning. There, subject changed, over and done with. Oh if Bucky only knew. Tony enjoyed the secrets a bit more actually, though it was hard not bragging about how smart he was, oh wait, that's what made him a smart ass, well go figure. Tony looked around as recruits went about, everyone training in one way or another.

“Ziemlich beschäftigt..” he muttered and Bucky eyed him with oddly curious eyes.

“You've started to do that unconsciously?” Bucky asked, smirking. Tony stopped and stared.

“Do what?” he asked.

“Speaking German?” Bucky's voice was similar to how Tony's was when he teased someone. So obviously he was teasing him. Heat flared to his cheeks when he realized. Tony's eyed widened before he spluttered some sort of protest.

“I hadn't- I'm so used to speaking German, but I don't usually curse on German, I prefer Spanish and English for that, sadly I've spoken German for about a year and it sticks.” Tony barked, pouting, cheeks still aflame. Bucky just grinned and snickered.

“So I understand.” Bucky said, still smirking. So Tony hit him playfully on the shoulder.

“Respect your elders Barnes.” he teased. Bucky just laughed.

“Right, I'm sorry Corporal Stark, so what did you say anyway? On German I mean?” he asked.

“Pretty busy, that's what I said, I was looking at the recruits, it's become so busy I can barely recognize the place.” Tony explained as they moved across the field, heading towards the canteen.

“Seen Sander by the way? I noticed he wasn't around.” Tony said. Bucky shook his head.

“Corporal Sander was sent to England three weeks ago, though he did say to tell you to get.. what did he say again? Oh yeah, get your fucking ass out of Germany already.” Bucky said, imitating Chris' voice and brunt walk, and Tony laughed long and hard. Bucky stared at him for a while before he smiled while Tony clutched his stomach with one bandaged and one healthy arm.

“Yes, that's him alright, one of few who seems to be able to stand me and my constant annoyance and actually seem to want be around.” Tony said, laughter already gone. He looked up at the sky, frowning lightly.

“There are more than you realize Stark.” Bucky said. Tony just chuckled.

“I wouldn't say that.. so, well, I'll get to write a letter to that Sander and tell him that he's the one whose gotta move his ass now, and I need coffee..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh yeah, I drew a doodle of Tony with the scars, he really do look like a tank rolled over him..
> 
> Translation:  
> Wir suchen Adler Reginhard - We are looking for Adler Reginhard.  
> Mierda - Shit!  
> Bastardi, potete solo andare all'inferno! - Bastards can just go to hell!  
> Verdammt - Damn  
> Er kletterte aus dem Fenster! Nach ihm! - He climbed out of the window! After him!  
> Idioten, die ganze Bande! - Idiots, the lot of them!  
> Er rannte dort entlang! - He ran this way!  
> Joder! - But for fuck's sake!  
> Fahr zur Hölle, du Bastard! - Go to hell, you bastard!  
> Justo lo que necesitaba, a la mierda! - Just what I needed, fuck!  
> Devo fissare la ferita così.. - Have to fix the wound as well..  
> Mitkommen! - Come with me!  
> Stopp! Sei still! - Stop! Be silent!  
> Weiter, aber vorsichtig. - Continue on, but be careful.  
> Ziemlich beschäftigt.. - Pretty busy..


	6. Steve Rogers, Stark Expo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The loss of one friend cannot ever be replaced by another, but even if Tony befriends Steve Rogers, how will it go down when he is attack by a Nazi?
> 
> Or, the first of many chapters I hurt Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Generally, I'm a complete bastard, I always do this kinda thing so don't try to kill me yet..
> 
> And yay for me sitting up an hour past midnight, because then I can update early :D  
> I also changed the tags because I realized I wont be writing any explicit parts F/M or necessarily any other ship except Bucky/Tony anyway..

There was a feeling of dread as Tony moved across the now silent field. Two hours ago bombs and guns had been firing about like hell itself was having a snowball fight. Tony maneuvered around dead soldiers, all fallen in battle. To many, most nameless or never to be forgotten. Tony heard his own dog tags clink against each other and knew that he could have been one of them, he didn't like it. The once playboy and billionaire looked around.

“Where the hell are you Sander?” he muttered. He passed some Nazi's that had fallen in the mess, not even stopping to check if they were completely dead yet, he didn't care. He needed to find the one person. Chris. Tony walked around some corpses and immediately moved in fast pace forward until he was standing in front of a fallen soldier, or rather, a soldier fallen on top of another. Tony crouched. His hand moved on it's own, checking the pulse and Tony cursed in all he languages he knew. He reached out, running a hand over the man's face.

“Sander..” he murmured after he had calmed. Soldiers wandered about around him, picking up their soldiers, taking them back to camp, to send home. Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder, but Tony didn't turn his head, he knew who it was. It was comforting, knowing he wasn't alone, that he wasn't the only one suffering from this.

“I'm sorry.. he was a good man.” Bucky said, just standing there. Tony nodded.

“That he was..” he murmured, closing his eyes for a second.

“Hell of a bastard with his gun too.” Tony said and he knew Bucky was smiling softly.

“That too, scary when he thought his friends was in danger as well, I don't know how many recruits he's scared half to death.” he said. Tony stood up, smiling a little.

“Yes, that is right.” he agreed.

“Come on, let's take him back to camp, his family would want to bury him.” Bucky said.

“Yeah..”

“Was he married?” Bucky asked as Tony pushed the fallen soldier off of Chris's body and began hooking his hands under his body. Chris had never been dead weight to him, not even now that he actually was dead. It felt weird, having to drag one of his fallen friend of the field to pack up and send just like that.

“No, there was a dame, Casandra I think, he had been.. wanting to propose to her..” Tony said.

“I'm sorry, it's sad to hear that.” Bucky offered. Tony just nodded.

“I'll have to deliver the news to her, I wouldn't want some guy who didn't know Sander to do it.” Bucky just nodded at that, keeping his face firm as he grabbed Chris by the feet, and the two picked him up.

“He wasn't really a light-weight guy was he?” it wasn't really a question, and Tony didn't bother answering anyway.

“We've got to move fast too, these damn Nazi's will probably be back in a few hours.” Tony muttered. Bucky nodded as the two moved back towards the car that held the fallen soldiers.

“I think it's time this war ended.. so many soldiers has died for the cause and so many innocent has been killed, even on both sides.” Bucky said and Tony gave a slight nod.

“I'd love for it to end right here, right now.” he agreed. Sadly, he knew, unlike the rest, the amount of years it'd take, the amount of deaths they'd have to deal with. The responsibility of this secret was heavier than Tony thought, and it was beginning to wear on him in ways he thought impossible. He looked about, seeing soldiers taking a last farewell with their comrades. This, was not how he had pictured the start of 1942, but he knew there was no way he could stop it. It was history and history would go about even if he tried to change it. Tony sighed to himself. 1942, the year that changed Steve Rogers into Captain America. Tony mentally slapped himself for even thinking about the captain. There was no Captain America in this world, because there was no super serum to make him invisible. It was the truth. It hurt, but that's how it was. He couldn't change that, nor did he think he'd actually have the guts to do it.

“Don't think about it, it's in the past, you cannot return Stark, so don't bother.” he thought.

“Vergiss einfach, dass es passiert ist… es ist nicht mehr, ich kann eh nie wieder zurück…” he muttered. He was, for once glad that he could easily use another language to hide what he meant. It made it easier for him to speak his thoughts but for no one to figure out what he actually said or how to interpret it.

“What?” Bucky asked, eying the Corporal with sad eyes. Tony shook his head.

“Nothing.. überhaupt nichts, ich bin nur plappern.. mi sono perso, lutto quelle che ho perso.”

* * *

 

“Ms. Casandra Wellsh?” the young woman in front of him eyed him warily. Tony knew it was the worst thing, to have a US soldier step up at your front porch. Her eyes saddened as truth dawned on her. Tony took of his hat, ruffling a bit of his slicked, black hair. He eyed her with soft eyes. She was rather pretty, half long, dark brown hair and large, shiny gray eyes. Tony hated the fact that the one she held close, had been held close by was gone and would never return.

“I'm sorry..” he said, handing her a small, black box. Tony had found it in Sander's belongings and knew that only one person could have it. She took it gingerly and opened it, immediately tears sprung to her eyes. A hand went up to her mouth as the tears fell.

“N-no..” she sobbed.

“I'm very sorry ma'am, Corporal Sander was a close friend of mine, and I'm sorry I had to deliver the news to you..” Tony said, trying to keep firm. He hadn't realized how hard this would actually be before he was standing in front of her door, but now, he hated himself more than anything and anyone in the world. Her tears continued to fall as another sob escaped her.

“He.. when..” she seemed at a loss of words.

“On the battlefield, two weeks ago on the border of Germany.. he died fighting like he always did.” Tony said, keeping his voice low in case she'd actually slam the door in his face for acting up.

“He.. died..” she said. Tony nodded.

“I'm sorry.. he was a good man and a good friend of all of us.” she nodded.

“Y-yes, yes he was..” she sobbed. Tony put his hat back on, but not jaunty like usual.

“I will.. um, leave, I do not wish to intrude upon you in your sorrow any further..” Tony said. She shook her head.

“Yes, thank you.. um.. sir..” Tony smiled sadly.

“Corporal Tony Stark ma'am, Corporal Sander was the closest to a friend I had in the army..” he said.

“I see.. sorry for your loss.” she said. Tony shook his head.

“Your loss was far greater than mine ma'am, I have to move on and continue fighting, no matter what, well then, please excuse me..” and she slowly closed the door as he turned and walked down the path to the street. He could feel the eyes of the neighbors on him, he knew that they knew. A soldier coming to your threshold that isn't you, is likely to bring sad news. Tony sighed.

“Sander, you bastard, you better have killed enough Nazi's to at least make up for half of this heartbreak.” he muttered. Chris's death date went into the notebook, with a cross behind.

* * *

 

“So, how's that friend of yours? That blonde?” Tony asked. Bucky looked up from his beer.

“Steve? Trying to avoid his father and literary run away from the army enlistment..” Bucky said.

“Ugh, he's so annoying.. we could use his muscles though, he seems like a good guy in combat.” Tony said, taking a sip of his own beer. Tony had never been a fan of beer, preferring scotch, but he couldn't afford it anyway. However, right now, Tony didn't mind beer. The loss of Chris was harder as time went by and he ended up dragging Bucky along for a drink, said Corporal gave a snort.

“Good luck, Steve isn't going to join the army unless his mom get's kidnapped by Nazi's and tortured.” he said. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Really? That far? Got to say, he's stubborn..” Tony muttered, emptying his bottle of beer.

“Tell me about it.. but yes, he does pack one hell of a punch.” Bucky said. It came of no surprise.

“Hm, yes..” Tony stood up and Bucky followed, emptying his own bottle.

“Let's head back, who knows what kind of idiots lurk around in camp today trying to find something stupid to do that will get them in trouble.” he said, and Bucky smirked.

“Yes.” he agreed, nodding. And they left the bar, heading back for camp, which was, to their luck, only a ten minutes walk. They entered the camp and went for the barracks when Tony stopped, sighing.

“Cazzo mal di testa.” he muttered and Bucky stopped, turning.

“What? What language was that?” he asked.

“Italian.. seriously, it feels like my head is being split open.” Tony complained.

“Do you have meds or should we head over to medical?” Bucky asked.

“It's fine, I have some pills that'll take away the worst..” Tony muttered. Suddenly all light -whatever there was this late anyway- went out and his head was splashed wet. Tony stood still, completely frozen as he felt water drip under his collar and through his shirt. Bucky slowly removed the bucket on his head, a look of pure shock and maybe a tad of worry on his face.

“Er, you okay?” he asked. Tony gave him a shaky stare. Bucky's eyes widened.

“You're not going to-” Tony shook his head. Bucky had, prior to these events, seen Tony have one relapse after some passing-by idiot bumped into him and he fell into the river running beside the road. Bucky had acted right away when Tony didn't resurface and it was a good thing. Tony was a shivering, frozen mess after that and stayed away from any sort of water for a week. But he was getting better at it, and getting a bucket of water on your head, wasn't as bad as being under water in a river. At least it didn't trigger the anxiety attacks he got when he thought about New York. And despite it, Tony seemed to know who did it and it slowly Bucky realized too.

“Ranger and Erkener, I want to see you both in front of my shack tomorrow 0400, and if I don't, I will be pouring rain water down your necks and have you cut potatoes for the following week.” he said calmly, but loud enough so that he knew he had been heard. There was a scrambling sound on the roof and Bucky grinned.

“Those two really don't know when to realize that pissing off a Corporal will only lead to more potato's and toilets.” Bucky said. Tony raised an eyebrow as he took of his hat, dragging a hand through his hair. Tony took a deep, ragged breath, calming himself.

“Well, that's what they get when they act like stupid brats that think this is Sunday school, besides, I think they'd get into worse with you, right?” Tony said. Bucky nodded, grinning.

“Yes, well, we Corporal's should stick together.” he said.

“True.. now what kind of terror should I unleash on those two?” Tony murmured.

“I don't know, 20 laps around the camp?” Bucky suggested.

“Hm, yeah, maybe that'll teach them a lesson..” Tony hummed.

“Some just never learn Stark, I think I've seen that case before.” he said, grinning at Tony, who glared halfheartedly back at him before he snickered.

“Hey, I've tried okay? My only defect is that I can't stop cursing on whatnot language all the time.” he muttered.

“That and you like getting drunk, and you're damn stubborn.” he said. Tony nodded.

“That is true.. it's part of my charm.” he admitted. Bucky laughed, a red tinge on his cheeks.

“You should probably go and get changed though, you'll catch a cold like that.” he said.

“Yes mom.” he said and Bucky just laughed at him.

“It's your own fault for not caring about your own health.” he said. Tony grinned.

“I like myself like that, thank you very much.” he was out of play for the remaining week with high fever and a harsh cough, he also made sure that the two soldiers got three days scrubbing toilets and cutting potatoes and one day in disciplinary action, one they'd come to avenge later, at the cost of Tony having another relapse.

* * *

 

Bucky had barely seen it. It was just a glimpse really, it was late, he was on watch and he had seen Tony disappear behind one of the barracks, so Bucky went to look, and found none, but he heard muffled protests. It didn't sit well with him and he went further to see two people holding Tony's arms to his back, dragging him away. Tony was struggling, but he couldn't get away. Bucky was one step away from running after them and getting Tony out of that situation, but he recognized those men, and knew he didn't stand a chance, they were too big and strong to take on both at once. Bucky turned and ran to get someone else with him. He found another Corporal still awake and one first Sergeant on patrol. He was quick in his explanation. Bucky had been lucky, because both the Corporal and the Sergeant knew of Tony's Shell Shock and if the men did what they did with most recruits that annoyed them, there would be screaming, trashing, pleading, crying and an awfully long without without any liquid intake from Tony. With Bucky in lead, they ran back to where Bucky last saw Tony, and followed a small trail to see what he feared the most. Tony was on his knee's head down into a small river running by the camp. One of the men, a soldier of earlier mishaps with Tony, held both hands on Tony's head, holding him down into the water. And Tony, 46 year old and a Corporal for many years, was flailing, trashing and fighting back. His hands was stretched out, but often went about, he tried to gain leverage, to grab onto something, or someone and get up, get away, but he couldn't. There was no way he could scream with his head under water and he was trashing harder now, trying his hardest to tear away from the soldier.

“HEY!” the Sergeant behind Bucky yelled and the men jerked back. This gave Tony some leverage and he jerked upwards. The scream was enough to cause the men to turn back. Tony trashed and jerked further away from the man, scrambling backwards, eyes wide in fear. Water was running down his uniform, his hat missing, laying a few feet to the side of the two soldiers.

“N-no more.. please.. please.. I'll do it.. I'll do it!” he screamed, not the men, but to a memory. The man was shaking so badly Bucky wondered if he would create an earthquake if he trembled any worse now.

“You two, at my office this instant!” the Sergeant barked and the men fled in the direction of said office. The Corporal and Bucky went to Tony. Bucky crouched and stared at the Corporal. Tony just stared right ahead of them, into nothing.

“Corporal Stark.” he tried, but Tony didn't react.

“Tony Stark.” he said and Tony flinched. Bucky sighed.

“Tony, it's us, it's me, Barnes, you're fine, you're safe.” he said slowly. Tony shook his head.

“They're going to make me... I don't want to built it, I don't want to die..” he whispered.

“No one is sir, it's the past.” the other Corporal said as the Sergeant crouched beside them.

“How is it?” he asked.

“He's lost in one of his memories again.. the one where's he's forced to make a weapon of some sort..” Bucky said and the Corporal laid a hand on Tony's shoulder, only for him to flinch away.

“No, please.. I'll make it, I'll make the Jericho.. just please.. please..” he pleaded. Bucky stared back at him. That was new, he had never heard that before. Bucky knew he shouldn't, but he was interested in what a Jericho was, but he knew not to push the subject further. Instead he gently placed a hand on Tony's hand.

“Tony, you're fine, look at me, hey, here, look at me, it's me, Barnes, remember?” Tony slowly turned, his eyes focusing in on him.

“Barnes?” his voice was low, barely above a whisper. Bucky nodded.

“Yeah, that's me, come on, fight out of it.” Bucky said. Tony slowly shook his head after a few quick breaths, slowly he got out of his memories, of his past. There was a long moment of silence afterward. Tony's loud, ragged breathing was the only thing breaking the silence. Then the Corporal shook his head, giving Bucky a grimace.

“Sorry..” he murmured.

“Nothing for you to be sorry for Corporal, you had a relapse, nothing strange with that.” the Sergeant said, getting up.

“I'll deal with the two soldiers, get some rest.” he left soon after. The other Corporal helped Bucky get Tony to his feet.

“Come on, you need to get dressed, wouldn't want you to get a cold again.” Bucky said. And Tony let out a shaky laugh.

“That.. I do.. thank you..” Tony shook his head at his weak figure.

“Nothing to thank me for.” Bucky just smiled.

 

* * *

 

“Here, this will warm you up a bit..” Bucky handed Tony a cup of the usual army issue coffee. Tony drank slowly, keeping both hands on the cup. He was sitting on his bed, in his shack. The older man was still shaking a bit, but he was better. Dressed in a extra pair of clothes, he had a blanket draped around him and he found solace in Bucky's comfort, the Corporal sitting beside him. Tony fell to his side, his head thumping softly against Bucky's shoulder.

“That was a much more nasty relapse than the one I saw last time.. is it because you didn't fall in by accident, but was held down?” Bucky asked and Tony's face drained of color. Bucky wasn't sure he should push the subject just yet, but he knew Tony needed it out, even if Tony wasn't the most sharing guy around.

“Stark?” he asked again. Tony sat up and after a long moment's pause, turned and met his eyes.

“Back.. then.. I was held down, tortured for hours maybe.. I had.. injuries and I had barely.. survived near death, they would.. hold me under water.. and if I refused to build the weapons, they beat me up.. that's.. how it always went.. the same yelling, the same struggling..” Tony shrunk into the blanket. Bucky stared at him with sympathy in his eyes.

“And Jericho?” he asked. Tony gave him a startled gasp.

“What? Where did you hear that?” asked, shock all over his voice and face.

“You said it, during the relapse, was it.. a weapon?” he asked. Tony grimaced, looking down.

“Jericho, is the weapon I created, it's so strong it'd frighten even the scariest man and keep him from coming out of his hiding place.. however, they learned and kidnapped me, told me to make them one.. I refused, but.. they were relentless.” Tony murmured.

“How did you get out? Did you build it to escape?” Bucky asked.

“No, I didn't build it, even if I did, they would have killed me afterward anyway.. I build.. something else and shot my way out of captivity..” Tony said slowly, taking a few sips from the dark coffee.

“I see..” Bucky murmured. Tony looked at him over the edge of the cup.

“It's been a while since I've had a relapse like this..” Tony suddenly said.

“When was the last time?” he asked.

“1938, two Japanese soldiers had caught me and used water torture.. to get me to talk, but.. I'm good at shutting up when forced to talk..” Tony said.

“Sounds nasty..” Bucky stated, stared at Tony in a mixture of shock and disgust.

“It is..”

* * *

 

There was nothing special about the day, really, nothing. The two soldiers had been dismissed and sent to another camp as far away from theirs as they could possible get. They had been looked down on by just about all in the camp for doing what they did. Everyone had, by early morning known what happened and that Tony suffered from Shell Shock, thus causing a chain reaction of hatred for the two who caused the relapse. It was weird, walking around with everyone just waiting for you to fall to your knees and have an anxiety attack, but Tony wasn't that weak and he hated getting all those pitiful looks.

“Okay, this has to stop.” he said. He was sitting in the bar again, Bucky opposite of him, both drinking their beer in a now, interrupted silence. There weren't that many people in the bar these days. The many troops were sent to the Nazi border, or to England or Italy. Most civilians didn't come out either, fear for bombs and attacks was growing stronger and stronger.

“There's no stopping it now, everyone that you go with will from now on know it.. it's sad, but it's the truth.” Bucky said, sipping from his beer. Tony groaned, then emptied his current beer.

“I need something stronger than this..” he muttered, looking at the bottle like it was his enemy.

“Don't we all..” Bucky muttered.

“Whiskey would do good about now actually..” Tony said.

“Yeah, agreed, I'll get us some.” he stood up and left to get some and Tony stared around him for a while. Tony suddenly wondered how all this felt for Steve when he joined, that time when the few people he cared for died. Bucky, Erskine. There were probably more, but Steve never said anything about any of this, considering the fact Tony had only known the guy for a few hours. What he knew, came from his father and from the history books. There was a moment of sadness when Tony realized he never actually got to know the real captain, the real man underneath that blue, red and white suit. The real Steven Rogers, or any of the others on the team too. Tony was brought back from his musings when Bucky sat down, setting a glass in front of him.

“Take some time on this one at least, wouldn't want you stumbling about when we come back, that would have been awkward..” Bucky said and Tony grinned.

“You haven't seen me really drunk Barnes, trust me, I can still walk and talk like a normal person.. at one point I'll just pass out, but still..” Bucky just smiled.

“Can't be helped, we'll just drink and get over with all of this.” he said.

“Yeah..” Tony grabbed the glass of Whiskey.

“You know what, I'm gonna start calling you Bucky instead.” Tony said and Bucky almost fell of the chair, looking so flabbergasted Tony had to chuckle to himself.

“What? Me?” Bucky asked. Tony stared, smirking in amusement.

“Who else? Anyone else who reacts to the name?” he teased, grinning more.

“I- well, no.. but.. yeah.. I mean, fine, it's fine by me I mean..” Bucky seemed at a loss of words, a red tinge across his cheeks could only be a blush. Tony felt his own cheeks heat a little. He didn't like how his body reacted to this kind of thing. It was war, it was the 40's. This kind of behavior wasn't accepted by any norm.

“And call me Tony, I'm getting tired of reacting to Stark, and you called me Tony during my last relapse.. besides, being called Stark reminds me of my father.” he said bitterly. Bucky nodded, smiling before he took a sip of his own drink.

“You've never actually told me much about your family or your past.” he muttered into the glass.

“That isn't weird.. because there's nothing to tell.” Tony said.

“Are they.. gone? Your parents?” Bucky tried.

“Of course they are, died a long time ago and I didn't really mourn them either so there's nothing to bother sounding sad about.” Tony shrugged his shoulders. Bucky's eyes widened slightly before he titled his head to the side.

“Why? What happened?” Bucky asked. Tony stared back at the two questions.

“I wasn't raised with love and adoration Bucky, my father was cold, calculating, he was never proud of me and seemed happier the farther away I was, my mother was never home, always out there somewhere with a number of lovers, uncanny and uncaring as a mother could get, so I was raised with butlers and nanny's giving me attention, but never really caring.. then they died in a crash when I was 21.” Tony said, taking another sip of his whiskey.

“Sounds horrible actually.” Bucky laughed awkwardly.

“It was.. I guess when you have to live up to your genius father, everything has to be top notch.” Tony muttered, staring into the glass with a dark look in his eyes. The Howard in this world was much more gentle than the one he knew. That of course, doesn't mean anything, he knew his own father hadn't always been like that. Captain America going into the ice did a number on the man and Tony had early on understood that his father had never recovered from it.

“That bad huh?” Bucky mused.

“Even top scores wasn't good enough for dad.” Tony muttered before he raised a hand, tapping it against his arc. No matter how much he belittled his father, he had helped out saving his life later in the years when he was dying from poisoning after all. He knew he had cared, he had said so, but it still felt weird, since the first time he heard was when he was 40 and dying. Bucky nodded.

“Some just aren't made for parenting, there are just those who can't..” Bucky said.

“Yeah, I noticed, dad was either working or drunk most of my life to even notice where I went about 80 % of the time, and trust me, I wasn't of the lazy guys, I got laid the first time when I was 14.” and Bucky gaped.

“Seriously? That's insanely young.” he said. Tony smirked.

“Well, I was an early maturer, I finished all my education when I was 17, and even then didn't dad as much as give me a look, but by then I couldn't care less so I just went back to drinking and dames.” Bucky gave him a 'you are amazing' look and Tony raised an eyebrow, smirking.

“How many dames have you actually.. slept with?” Bucky asked. Tony noticed the look of slight jealousy in Bucky's eyes, but he wasn't sure it was because Tony had a good hold of women around the world. A chill ran down his spine at the thought of Bucky jealous at the women, but no, Tony pushed the thoughts away, reminding himself of the year and the war. He shook his head, humming slightly.

“How many? I've lost count and I can't remember half of them, much less the names of any of them, that's the downside of being drunk.” Tony laughed. Bucky stared into his own glass before the younger man shook his head. Tony raised an eyebrow, waiting.

“You're kind of like Steve though, in that way, only he doesn't get drunk much.” Bucky said.

“Steve? Oh, that friend of yours? Well, he seemed like the type to mingle a bit too much with dames.. uh, he just.. gave off the aura you know.” he added when Bucky gave him a warning look. The man sighed, nodding.

“Far too much, and he knows it too..” he said, shaking his head. Tony nodded.

“Well, if he joined the army, then he'd probably die of loneliness, dames are a rarity when there's war and you're in the middle of it.” Tony said. Bucky chuckled and shook his head.

“Yeah, the day he enlists I will eat my socks.” he answered. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Don't get cocky, I'm going to hold you to it if it happens.” he said, smirking.

“Yeah? Good luck Tony.” Bucky just laughed.

“Shut it Bucky, I'm looking forward to seeing you eating your socks.” Tony muttered.

“Hahaha, yeah, well, that's not happening.” Bucky just continued to laugh.

“So, I'm heading over to Stark Expo this week to meet up with Steve before I go to Italy, want to tag along?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow as if daring to get Steve to enlist. Tony grinned, giving the other soldier a predatory grin, in which Bucky smirked back, though the red tinge was still there.

“There's also something else..” Tony mused, still smiling.

“You want to have a look at Howard Stark's newest things too don't you?” Bucky asked, and Tony gave a giddy smile.

“Can't help it, he's a genius and we go together for a lot of the military issue weapons so we often end up talking, I'd be a fool not to want to see what he makes.” he said, maybe a tad bit to excited for someone his age, but then again, Pepper had always said he was a child trapped in a grown mans body. Bucky sighed.

“You are.. insufferable Corporal Stark, you and your insane brain.” he said, but he was smiling.

“Yes, about as insane you will be when you eat your socks.” Tony said, laughing. Bucky stuck his tongue at him for once, before he started laughing again. Tony laughed with him though, because there really was no reason for him to stay serious about it. He'd probably just let him go anyway. Tony wouldn't force his friends to eat their socks from a promise they had no idea would actually happen. He knew, and he feared it as well. The clock was ticking, the past and the present moving to add up to the future. Tony's smile faltered. He too, was part of the future, and yet now, he was part of the past instead. Somewhere deep down he wondered if he was going to see this worlds Tony Stark be born, and he felt his heart sink.

“I do wish I could put it behind me..” he muttered before he gulped down some of the burning liquid. Bucky eyed him curiously.

“What?” he asked.

“My past.” Tony said.

“..as Iron Man..” he finished mentally.

* * *

 

“He hasn't changed one bit.. wait, yes he has, oh God! He's become bigger, fuck, I thought humans couldn't grow muscles that large.” Tony muttered. Bucky just laughed. The two walked leisurely towards a certain blonde who had girls buzzing around him like the first time Tony met him. They had both dressed in their uniforms, hat's in a jaunty angle on top of slicked hair. Tony wore a set of sunglasses, even if there was no sun because it was so late. Tony had managed to land a leave before Bucky went to Italy, so he could join him at Stark Expo. The two Corporal's looked at each other when they saw how many girls flirted with Steve, however, the man himself was holding around a brunette. Pretty and curvy. Supple, red lips and a daunting look. Tony knew who she was, but shut up because, quite frankly, he'd look like a stalker of some sort.

“Always a lady's man isn't he?” Tony muttered though. Bucky laughed.

“Always.” Bucky agreed and Tony sighed.

“But, he might just be caught now..” he muttered. Bucky eyed him before he looked back.

“Oh yes, that's not a dame that easily let's go of something.” Tony chuckled as they came over, Bucky giving a toothy grin. Tony took off his glasses and hung them onto his uniform.

“Good you got here Steve.” Bucky said. Tony just smiled at the woman.

“Bucky, you forget your manners.” he said, gently elbowing his friend. Bucky flushed.

“Ah, yes, sorry, who is the lucky dame?” he asked, smiling at her, who smiled back.

“Margaret Carter sir, but everyone calls me Peggy.” she said, smiling softly. Steve smirked.

“Peggy, this is Bucky.” Steve said, but fell short when he saw Tony.

“Corporal James Barnes, or as Steve calls me, Bucky, ma'am and this is my friend.” he said, turning slightly to Tony, who just smiled more.

“Corporal Anthony Stark ma'am..” he introduced himself and watched as all those who stood close enough, including Peggy and Steve to gape, both' eyes widened as they recognized the last part of the name. Tony just grinned more. It wasn't like he had meant to brag about having the same name as Howard, but being Tony Stark meant you'd usually brag, even if it was accidental.

“You're related to Howard Stark?” Steve asked. Tony shook his head, snickering.

“Not that I'm aware of, I am, however, friends and now and then, even co-worker of Howard.” Tony pulled out his most charming smile. Peggy smiled back and Steve, oh dear, went rigid. Tony knew when a man turned protective, even jealous, and now was no exception. He flashed a quick, reassuring smile at him, though he felt like wanting to just grin like he did when he had three or maybe more girls trying to snag his attention and trying to get into his lap at the same time. But, he really didn't feel like getting his face punched today, so no off-putting smirk today.

“Hey, Bucky, I'm going to go and see the enlistments office over there, be right back.” he said.

“Okay.” Bucky said before Tony turned, leaving. Of course, that being said, he didn't get very far because even he wasn't so dense as not to notice the girls trailing him, and a shadow, not nearly as creepy as the girls in fact. Tony found himself wondering why he thought girls was far more scary than some stalker\enemy? He continued to walk, going zigzag through the crowds. And that's where he was stopped. It was just a hand on his shoulder really, but he felt the gun pushing into his back, just below his ribcage.

“Keep walking..” a deep voice told him from behind. Tony was tempted to do the opposite, turn and kick the guy in the balls, but he risked people getting hurt, and he didn't want civilians getting caught up in this. So he kept on walking, wondering if Bucky had noticed, wondering if anyone noticed at all, though he doubted it. They walked for about five minutes, into a alley at the Expo and Tony had to ask himself if alley's was even part of the design. He didn't have time to think more of it as the man who had put the gun to his back suddenly put a hand around his neck and forced him to stop.

“You really aren't playing fair.. you know that?” Tony wheezed out.

“You're coming with me.”the man simply muttered. Tony sighed.

“Yeah? And? Am I going to end up on some fucking Nazi's table as an experiment?” he asked and he was suddenly turned around, and the butt of the gun met with his face, or more precisely, his nose. He could feel it break, hear it even. Tony grunted, his hat falling off, as he stumbled backwards. The man grabbed his collar and pushed him back against the wall of the building. Tony's hands immediately flew up to wrap around the man's wrists and realized just how large the guy was.

“God, you're a giand.. a friggin giand.” he muttered through the blood bleeding from his broken nose. The guy was, indeed huge, maybe even bigger than Steve for all he knew. Tony tried to squirm loose, wriggle, or even outright struggle, but his grip was relentless.

“Fug you! Whad do you wand with me?” Tony asked, though weirdly because of his nose.

“You're coming with me.” the man just repeated.

“I figured thad out the firs' dime, but 'ey, blease do keep de information to yourself, id's not like I have any say righd?” and a fist connected with his abdomen, making his arch inwards on himself. He coughed, tasting the blood on his lips. However, the Corporal just looked up at the guy.

“You hid like a bitch.” he just said and the fist reconnected. This time he coughed blood, he heard the blood splatter to the ground as he closed his eyes tightly, but still not wincing.

“I can take a lod of bain kid, don' even stard wid me.” he said. The fist went again, and again and again until Tony was hanging, rather than holding onto the man. Then he was let go, hitting the ground hard and a foot went straight for his abdomen. Tony coughed, wincing slightly. His body convulsed with pain, but he rejected the idea of showing it, of voicing it. He wouldn't give the man the pleasure of it. Tony opened his eyes slowly, his vision blurry, but he could make out the foot before it make contact with his head. Tony's body jerked back, making him cry out and he was immediately shielding his head with his arms. A few minutes, maybe hours, passed by before the kicking and the beating stopped. Tony didn't move. His hearts was beating rapidly against his chest, threatening to break out of his ribs, which ached. He knew he had a few broken ribs, maybe fractured his arm, he didn't know. He couldn't tell one pain apart from the other anymore.

“You're coming with me.” the man said again. Tony couldn't move his head, it ached to much, but that didn't mean he couldn't at least show he was still fighting, that he was not agreeing.

“Fug you..” he spat blood. He was missing a tooth too, and that wasn't really pleasant. There was hands on him, ready to pull him up when they were suddenly removed. Tony could hear something, or rather someone hitting the containers beside him. He slowly opened his eyes, his blurry vision giving him nothing but a pair of feet, or that's what it looked like.

“Get the fuck out of my sight you sick bastard!” Tony nearly moaned at the voice. He was probably the luckiest person in the world right now. He felt hands on him again, this time smaller, not the one with the voice. But Tony recognized them anyway.

“Tony, oh God, hey, can you hear me?” Bucky. Tony slowly moved his arms away from his face, his eyes slowly making their way up to Bucky.

“Bug-..” was all he managed. He sounded so broken, pained even. Bucky had a look of disgust on his face, even Tony could make it out through his cloudy sight.

“Holy.. this is horrible..” Bucky said, gently touching Tony's cheek and Tony winced.

“Ouch..” he croaked. He knew his face was swollen, without a doubt bruised to the point were it was hard to recognize him. Yet Bucky had easily done so.

“Don't speak Tony, Steve, is the guy-” he stopped. So Tony tried to look past him and saw Steve's fists fly. His eyes widened in shock. He'd never thought he'd see the day Steve did that. There was a wrenched, disgusted and angry expression on Steve's face as he continued to slam his fists into he man's face. Tony remembered that the Steve he barely knew, hated bullies just as much as this one did.

“Steve! Stop! You're going to kill him!” Bucky said.

“So?” Steve seemed to be too busy cracking the man's skull to even realize it was Bucky.

“Steve, we need to get Tony checked out, seriously, he's coughing blood and- Steve, please.” Bucky seemed so small compared to Steve right now. The blonde stopped, before he turned, letting go of the man. The man thumped against the ground, even more lifeless than Tony right now.

“Look, the enlistment's office is right by, there's a Corporal and a at least one Sergeant there, I'll get them okay, can you just watch over Tony? He tends to fix himself up when left alone.” and Bucky ran off, hat nearly falling off in the process. Steve looked like he'd rather continue to beat the guy up, but the man was already unconscious, maybe even dead for all Tony knew. The blonde walked over to Tony, crouching. He touching Tony's nose and the man jerked away, giving a whine. When Tony had healed he'd fucking hit Steve for that.

“Your nose is broken and.. are you missing a tooth?” he asked. Tony just groaned.

“Don'.. jusd.. don'..” he managed. Steve raised an eyebrow at him.

“You're sure you're a soldier?” Tony would probably have answered back, if he could.

“Fug you..” Tony croaked instead. Steve touching his wrist and Tony whimpered, he actually whimpered. Steve's hand disappeared immediately.

“Jusd.. blease.. don' touch me..” Tony whimpered. Steve nodded.

“Sorry, I guess.” he said, looking oddly uncomfortable with this.

“Nod.. your fauld..” and Steve gave him a surprised look.

“What the- of course not.” he snapped and Tony whimpered, his body convulsing with pain as he tried to crawl away from Steve's voice, from Steve. The blonde seemed to realize something was wrong, even he wouldn't know why. Steve reached out, putting his hand on Tony's shoulder and Tony jerked away, his hands coming up to shield his face.

“B-blease.. no.. don'..” he cried out.

“Steve.” Bucky was back, with two other men.

“Bucky.” Steve just said. Bucky crouched down, then he frowned.

“Tony?” he asked. Tony just shivered, whimpering.

“Oh shit!” Bucky muttered.

“What?” Steve asked.

“Another relapse.. Steve, Tony has Shell Shock, he was tortured and beaten severely a long time ago and he still suffers from relapses that get's him stuck in old memories, that's how he is right now!” Bucky explained. Tony would kill him for it later, but right now said man was not sane enough to even understand. The two other officers crouched.

“So he's Corporal Anthony Stark?? The Iron Fist? I never would have-” one of the guys said before the other elbowed him.

“What exactly happened?” he asked. Bucky shook his head.

“We found him like this, the other man.. the half dead guy over there was beating him up for who knows what reasons, Steve interjected..” then he turned towards Tony, who was still shielding his face. Bucky gently grasped Tony's arms below his wrists so not to cause any more pain.

“Tony, hey, look at me, it's me, Bucky, come on, hey, look..” he said, moving Tony's arms away. Tony's face slowly surfaced and the cloudy look in his eyes disappeared slowly.

“Bu- g-y?” he croaked before he coughed, blood dripping from his lips.

“Holy, Tony, come on, I need some help, really.. we need to get Tony to a hospital.” and Tony's better hand grabbing Bucky's. The others could see the fear flashing in his eyes.

“No! No hosbidal.” he cried out. Bucky turned and Tony moved his other hand -though it obviously pained him- to his chest and Bucky nodded.

“Yeah, I get it, you're scared, but seriously, you're coughing blood..” he said. Tony just snorted, causing him to cough again.

“I'm fine.. jusd.. ged me do de medical ad de-” that's the last he remembered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, it's official, I'm a dick.  
> I needed to have a girlfriend. in this because well, Tony having to deliver such sad new, it's perf because it's so out of character for him.  
> Chris's death, I regret it (not) well, yes, I do.. I liked him, and I usually don't care about offhand oc-characters.  
> As for breaking his nose and shit, Tony deserved it (for what, I don't know..)
> 
> Translation:  
> Vergiss einfach, dass es passiert ist… es ist nicht mehr, ich kann eh nie wieder zurück.. - Just forget it happened.. it is no more, I cannot ever return anyway..  
> Überhaupt nichts, ich bin nur plappern - nothing at all, I'm just babbling.  
> Mi sono perso, lutto quelle che ho perso. - I'm lost, mourning those I lost.  
> Justo lo que necesitaba, a la mierda! - Just what I needed, fuck!  
> Cazzo mal di testa. - Fucking headache.


	7. Welcome to Camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wakes up in hospital watched over by a man he didn't think would.
> 
> Can Steve and Tony get over their initial dick-faced interpretations of each other?  
> Tony fears for Bucky when hearing about the friendly lines in Italy, so he makes a plan, which also includes the unsuspecting recruit Steve Rogers too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating a day earlier than usual.. because it's Sunday and I'm bored..
> 
> It's a pretty boring chapter really, just talk, and maybe some Sad!Tony in there somewhere too.

A simple groan and Tony's eyes tightened before they opened slowly. He winced at the strong light above him before he turned his head and saw someone sitting beside him. A blonde. Tony wracked his brain to remember, to figure out where he had seen that face before. Someone he found familiar, but still so strange. Then the memories slowly got back to him.

“Bucky?” the name passed his lips before he managed to stop them.

“Left for Italy two days ago, but he bitched about not wanting to go.” was the answer from dry lips. Tony turned his head away from the voice. His head hurt and he felt like throwing up. Tony remembered being forced into the alley and used as a punching bag so that would explain it.

“W-where.. am I?” he croaked.

“Hospital, obviously.” was the curt answer and Tony turned back.

“Rogers?” he asked then. The blonde seemed to blink at him.

“Yeah?” he asked back, voice once again monotone. He was bored out of his mind.

“Why.. are you here?” Tony whispered. His throat felt constricted and dry.

“Promised Bucky I'd stay until you left the hospital, all healthy.. and to make sure the doc's wouldn't suddenly start playing with your body.. or whatever he meant.” Steve said. Tony turned his head so he looked up at the ceiling. A small smile worked it's way onto his face. Tony knew he had scored home-run when he befriended Bucky. His heart agreed, although it supplied more that they could be more than friends. Tony knew not to hope for that, not in this age and day.

“Gotta give the guy a hug next time I see him..” Tony muttered.

“What is it that you're hiding? Why was that guy after you? He was a Nazi! And why were Bucky so adamant on helping you hide your chest?” Steve asked, all at once. Tony groaned.

“Please, one question at a time.. genius' without a plugged in brain here..” Tony moaned. And Steve cracked a smile. Tony's eyes widened before he turned away, hiding his face. The guy had annoyed the hell out of him the first and the second time they met, now he seemed to accept him a bit more, maybe because he was by chance saved him. He didn't know. But if he wasn't as much of an asshole as he let on to be, then Tony might see a chance of acceptance, maybe respect, but mostly avoid being judged as fast like the good captain from his own world.

“I didn't know he was a Nazi, really.. I had somewhat expected it though.. and I don't know why he wanted me, but I know why the Nazi's want me.. I'm not hiding anything nasty, I'm a 46 year old Corporal and has just been beaten half to death..” Tony said, moving about in his bed, trying to get up, but failing by the pain in his ribs. He licked his lips. They were dry and chapped. He raised his hand, resting two fingers on his nose. They'd probably set it while he was uncousious, which was completely fine by him.

“You haven't answered the last question? And why would the Nazi's want you?” Steve asked.

“I- what? Oh- the Nazi's.. yeah, they want me for same reason I'm hiding my chest..” Tony managed to croak out. Steve frowned. When Tony didn't say anything irritation flew across Steve's face before he growled. Tony's head snapped towards him again, fear flashing for a moment before he managed to conceal it. Steve glared at him.

“And? Fuck, you've gotta give me more than that for staying here, protecting your ass for two, whole fucking days!” he snapped. Tony just stared at him, unable to process anything because Steve was cursing. The Steve Rogers was cursing. Tony wondered if the Steve he had met in his world ever cursed, probably not, he seemed far to innocent and 40's to do so. Tony squirmed and mumbled something.

“What?” Steve asked.

“Water..” Tony croaked. Steve sighed, stood up and got a cup, filling it with water from the tiny tap in the corner of the room.

“Here.” he literally shoved the cup into Tony's hand. Tony gulped the liquid down with some effort, then he sighed in content as he didn't feel like a desert was making itself at home in his mouth anymore. His stomach grumbled, probably not happy about this liquid being the only thing coming down and threatened to push it up again, but Tony gulped down a bit more, then took a few deep breaths.

“Well?” Steve asked, crossing his arms as he sat down. Tony sighed.

“You're annoyingly persistent, you know that? Well, I guess I don't have a choice, Bucky seems to trust you..” Tony said and used his left hand, which wasn't hurt, to push away the large shirt he was clothed with. He revealed his arc reactor, well, the blank metal plate covering it. Steve's eyes widened when he saw it, as well as the scars running out from where Tony's skin met the slightly warm metal. If Steve's eyes widened any more now, they'd likely fall out of his skull and Tony was mentally pleased he managed to shock the man up so well.

“It's lodged in my chest.. it's grown into my ribs and though it doesn't do anything but annoy me, it makes me a living target by any mad doc's out there, as well as other scientists..” Tony fell silent.

“A piece of metal? Why haven't you removed it?” Steve asked, but Tony shook his head.

“I can't.. it's literally in my body, if I yank it out, which will be painful by the way.. it will kill me or it'll leave a gaping hole into my chest, and it will rip out my ribs as well.” Tony said, covering up the arc. It was true, it would likely kill him in this day and age to remove it because of the higher chances of infection and the fact that it would be an open surgery. Even if he didn't have any shrapnel in his body anymore, he still used the arc reactor to stabilize his hearts.

“I see..” Steve said.

“Well, there really isn't much more to say really.. you seem like you can't stand my guts so you can leave if you want, I don't think Bucky minds now that I'm awake.” Tony said. Steve seemed to like the idea very much, but he shook his head.

“He said to stay until you were out of the hospital.” Steve snapped and Tony gaped.

“You are quite obedient aren't you?” he asked, the corners of his mouth twitching up.

“Shut it!” Steve growled and Tony's smile disappeared. He should have known, acting friendly with this Steve was plain impossible. Why had he even bothered? Oh yeah, because Tony had deciding to give people a chance after the Chituari battle. He shook his head, pushing the past into the back of his mind, willing it into a coffin to lock and bury under all the things he knew.

“Look, don't get me wrong buttercup, I could care less about how you feel about me, I stopped caring about what people think about me a long time ago, but I would like some respect.” Tony said, trying to keep calm. Steve's face suddenly became a battlefield of expressions. Anger, shock, boredom and, was that shame? No, that couldn't be right? Tony shook his head at his thoughts.

“Fine.” Steve muttered. That was the last time they spoke for the remaining day. He left late, coming back early when Tony was starting to wake up, finding he was already better. Though his face was swollen and he was still missing a tooth, which was scheduled to be fixed soon. Tony probably looked like mashed meat, kind of like when he nearly got blasted into the sky by that land mine. His nose didn't hurt anymore, either. Though his ribs hurt when he took a breath, spoke and coughed. And that day went away in silence. Three days had passed and the silence was beginning to eat at Tony. He hated having fights with people who stayed close to him because then he couldn't just hide away and avoid the talk. But he knew he couldn't wriggle away from this one, not when he was the one who had pissed Steve off. Said blonde just entered the room, the day barely having started.

“Oh, you're back already?” Tony said, a bit forced, as Steve sat down on the chair by his bed.

“Not by my own choice, but yes.” Steve answered snappishly. Tony sighed.

“What do you have against me? You seem to downright hate me..” Tony said.

“I don't.” Steve snapped back. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“I know honesty when I see it, and I can see how honest you are like an open book Rogers, you are a man of great intellect and muscle, yet you use neither for others purpose, only for yourself.. except.. me..” Tony fell silent. Steve glared at him, but there was confusion in there as well.

“You stepped in when I was being beaten.. not many would have, you have the courage and the will of a soldier, the mind and brain of a tactician and the body of a.. well, not really soldier, more Greek God or something strong, and yes, now I screwed up my smoochy, wise-talk, but seriously Rogers, someone like you, can get very far if you just put your foot forward.” Tony said. He knew he couldn't just force Steve to join he war, it was like getting Captain America to burn the American flag. Steve stared at him, and for once he seemed hesitant, but his eyes shone in shock.

“No one's.. said that before..” he slowly said.

“Not even Bucky? That's weird, the guy is pretty much a little brother admiring his big, strong brother when it comes to you.” Tony said, grinning. Steve shook his head.

“He's said a lot of things, but not in that way..” Steve said. Tony chuckled.

“It's not something you'd actually say these days considering the war and all, but yes, you are, and in all honesty, you can be so much more too, if you just step up and show that you can be your own master and if anyone complains, flip the middle finger and tell them to stick their sorry excuses where the sun don't shine.” Tony said and that was all it took for Steve to burst into a laughter. Tony grinned, watching the blonde tremble with the laughter. It felt good, making the other feel a little more happy. It was least he could do.

“You are a man of your own yourself Stark..” Steve managed through his laughter.

“So I've heard..” Tony murmured. Steve slowly calmed down before his smile vanished.

“I'd.. actually I wouldn't mind.. joining the army.. it's just.. dad..” Tony nodded and Steve stopped talking, giving him a tilt of the head and Tony smiled, he knew that tilt. But Tony knew not to get stuck in his memories, he was already old enough to know that such wishful thinking was stupid and downright pitiful.

“I know, expectations, trust me, I've been there, done that.” Tony said, huffing and coughing.

“Really? I wouldn't think so.” Steve said. Tony laughed, then coughed and gave a whine at the pain his body went through at every move, and even more so when he laughed. He hated having broken ribs, it was one of the few pains he had a hard time dealing with, mostly because it reminded him of the arc reactor placed neatly in his chest, ribs grown around it. Then Tony sighed.

“Rogers, I was pretty much raised on a bed of money, not a single word of love ever passed to my mind as a child, nor as a teen, and not as an adult, my parents were rich and my dad was a genius, so of course I would be the same as him! I was, and still is, quite intellectual by the way, but he was never happy, not even once did he tell me he was proud of me, or that he loved me.. he and my mother passed away when I was 21 and I didn't shed a single tear.” Tony said. Steve nodded.

“I see, sounds a bit sappy.” Steve said and Tony laughed, at the expense of a painful cough.

“It is, I've only been in love once, and I lost her..” Tony murmured.

“I'm sorry..” Steve suddenly sounded less snappish, and more gentle. Tony smiled sadly at him.

“No worries, I've passed that now, I've passed it all, I was never able to meet my dad's expectations, so instead I went social and I think I've slept with more dames than any man has ever done or thought they'd do.” he said. Steve raised an eyebrow, his eyes challenging.

“Really now? How many?” Tony put a finger to his jaw.

“I can't remember the exact number considering I was drunk about 60 % of all the times, but seriously, I got laid when I was 14 years old Rogers, I slept with lots of dames each months, sometimes several at the same time, I don't think I even have a record, but I easily burned through one dame every second day, if not more, once I slept with twins, it was Christmas, literally, such a pleasing sight.” Tony said, grinning from ear to ear and Steve whistled.

“That's quite the facts, you don't really look like a lady's man though.” he said.

“No, but trust me, I am.. or I was, I turned 40 and I realized there was more important stuff than having dames in my bed on and off and booze in my hand every other night.” Tony said. Steve nodded.

“So, why did you enlist if you're rich and you have a promising future?” he asked.

“I have no idea!” Tony said, grinning like a fool, or it might have looked like it, if his face wasn't so swollen.

“Really?” Steve raised an eyebrow.

“Trust me, I regretted it before I even did it and even now I do.. but.. a long time ago, I told a friend.. or I guess I could call him a friend, maybe.. but, anyway, I told him we were not soldiers.. and I think I just ate my own hat..” Tony said and Steve chuckled.

“So, you just enlisted? Just like that?” Steve asked. Tony nodded.

“I didn't know what else to do, I was tired, I knew what I wanted to do, and changing the world was one of them, I just.. didn't have anything, even if I was rich, that doesn't mean I have everything.. I never thought I'd do it, but I guess I wanted to make my stand, I wanted to prove that I care, go against my very creations and do the opposite of what I was raised to do and I what I liked to do, and I've come to like it, well, not the war that is, but having the rules, the firm loyalty and just.. the chance of being me.” Tony said.

“Quite wise again are we?” Steve said and Tony grinned.

“Always, it's who I am.. and Rogers, really, you show a much greater side of yourself when you're just.. honest.” Tony said. Steve looked a bit puzzled, then he nodded as he seemed to think it through.

“I guess.. so, are you going to Italy too? Joining Bucky?” Steve asked, but Tony shook his head.

“No, I'm staying in camp, they want me there because I know just how to beat it into the recruits head what the rules are and how to kill Nazi's without much bother, you'd kind of realize where I get the nickname Iron Fist.” Tony chuckled, causing pain to ripple through him again.

“Is that why you're still a Corporal?” Steve asked, a faint smirk on his face. Tony faked offence.

“No, I don't believe so, I don't really care about rang, though you have more privileges as a Corporal than a recruit I don't really care.” Tony shook his head. Steve eyed the man.

“And Rogers? If you ever enlists, please, please remind me so I can stuff Bucky's socks down his throat.” and Steve gave a snort of laughter.

“Really? You'll do that?” he asked, laughing hard. Tony grinned.

“He said he'd eat his socks the day you enlisted.” Tony said, remembering. Steve just smirked.

“Is that a challenge?” Steve asked. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Depends on how you see it.” he answered, smirking and coughing a bit.

“I see, well, I've got to give it to Bucky for that.” Steve said.

“And I to you Rogers, for showing that you aren't as bad as I thought, I misjudged you and for that I apologize.” Tony explained, giving a shrug. Steve gave him a surprised look before he smirked and chuckled.

“Yeah, people seem to think of me as a jerk, without a doubt you too.” Steve said, shoulders slumping a bit, but keeping his frame straight and prideful. Tony snickered, shaking his head.

“So Rogers, tell your father to fucking stick it where the sun don't shine okay? Your future is up to yourself and you need to make the choices and take the steps for yourself.” he said. Steve nodded and Tony grinned, though it came out more as a grimace.

“I'll probably be out by the end of the week, so you don't need to watch me like a hawk by the way, I usually pulls a tantrum when someone thinks I'm to weak to take care of myself.” he said, grinning like he did when he got his hands on some rare metal for his old suit. Steve smirked.

“Then I'm looking forward to the tantrums.” he teased and Tony pouted.

“Watch it kid, your twenty years to early to be saying that.” he joked.

“Twenty? How old are you?!” Steve asked, his face falling in shock.

“46 actually.” Tony admitted and Steve actually gaped. Tony just grinned.

“You're that old?! What the fuck? I had no idea, thought you were early into your thirties or something.” he said, perplexed. Tony gave a wide, toothy grin. Way to stroke his ego. And not in a small way either.

“Why thank you! And yes, I hear that a lot, Bucky is almost sure I'm from another world.” and Steve raised an eyebrow.

“Well, are you?” he asked, smirking. Tony gave a snort before he winced.

“I'm not, seriously, if I was, I think it'd be a bit more obvious..” he said. Steve suddenly turned serious and Tony wondered why.

“Bucky said.. you had Shell-something..” he began and Tony groaned.

“Of course he did, I am so murdering him with a rusty knife.” he muttered.

“You seemed.. pretty scared..” Steve said and Tony just groaned again.

“Torture can break any guy Rogers, anyone.. I was at the receiving end and it made me a better, if not a more broken man.” Tony said, looking away from those ever-searching, blue eyes.

“So, Shell-whatever it was?” Steve asked.

“It's the name of the syndrome that we get, Shell Shock, for past traumatic events that leads to negative breakdown of personality, followed by nightmares, paranoia etc.” Tony explained, dragging his good hand through his hair, ruffling it up. Steve nodded. Tony looked about, he could still remember the day the Deshainn, Nuwnrn told him about their term, Preparative Dysfunctional Temporary Brain-damage, how he had told Nuwnrn that their term was Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. When the Deshainn had confirmed that that was what he was suffering from, Tony thought the world had ended. One day Tony was sure he'd have to take medications for it, but because it was war, he could easily hide behind that and avoid the medication until after the war, hoping he could at least. It was a lot easier when he didn't have to wear a stripe on his arm for it too.

“It's not really something I like talking about okay? It felt okay telling Bucky because he is one of the few whom I even know and I trust him.. well, he knew from the beginning, everyone in camp knows now.” Tony said.

“Really? Why?” Steve asked.

“I had a relapse, like the one.. you saw.. only.. different, and it kind of spread.” Tony said.

“I see..” the blonde said before he looked at the clock on the wall before he got up, looking like he'd rather just sit down again.

“Need to leave already?” Tony asked, smiling.

“Gotta go home, you know, family needs.” Steve muttered. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Ah, yes, got to say I know all about it.. not, well, it was nice speaking with the real you Rogers.” he said, smirking and Steve grinned back at him with his white teeth shining. Tony couldn't fathom how anyone in this age had such white teeth, but he guess this was someone who was harangued by his mother until brushing his teeth was like breathing.

“Likewise Stark.” Tony nodded before Steve turned and left. Tony sighed and picked up the notebook he had on his nightstand. It was a good thing he had began writing things down. He had always been awful with years, dates, birthdays and names after all. He flipped the pages. The death of Chris, Bucky's birthday, some atoms calculations and got an empty page and wrote down the date of his attack, then he wrote down the arc reactor for a possible attack reason. He closed the notebook with a sigh before he leaned back onto the bed.

“Man, now I could really do with my old bed.” his closed his eyes, his mind going back to 2011, to his king sized bed with fluffy pillows and gentle, warm sheets. And Pepper. His eyes flew opened before he groaned, turning away before he closed his eyes tightly. His took deep breaths, trying to calm himself, trying to keep the anxiety attack at bay, trying to relax.

“Got to stop this Stark, got to forget, got to move on..” he knew he never could.

* * *

 

“Oh, I'd love to see Bucky's face right about now.” Tony muttered as he saw the newest recruits. He was fairly close from just heading over to Italy and tell Bucky this himself, but right now, he had some recruits to torture. Tony was, without much of a surprise, looking forward to this. The man standing amongst others. Tall bulk of a body, blonde, with clear blue eyes and a firm expression. Not out of place, not out of time. Tony shook his head, ridding his mind of the man he once fought together with, the man he barely knew.

“Recruits! Welcome to camp.. is what I would say, but in this case, it's welcome to the army, I'm Corporal Stark, which you will call me when answering to me.” he said, making sure all the recruits stood in line and knew he could be just as dangerous as ten Nazi's. Of course, they probably already knew about him, having been warned by older soldiers. It wasn't without a reason that Tony had the nickname Iron Fist, and Tony often joked about it, because, really, how close wasn't that to Iron Man? His Hero alter ego? Okay, lame joke.

“This camp will be your home until your shipped out to another camp, or to another continent for further purpose, or if you end up staying here, there are a few rules you are going to follow while being here, and generally, being a soldier.” Tony said, keeping his voice firm as he walked back and forth in front of the recruits.

“You'll show respect, something I hit down on hard if not showed! And you do as you're told by your superiors here, no night walking and you are, and will stay in the barracks after curfew and.. as sad as it sounds, no dames allowed.” he said. The recruits shoulders dropped.

“I'm having no bullying by the way.. if I find any of these rules broken, trust me, you'll rather be on enemy lines than facing me.” he said, smiling sweetly in a sick way. Yeah, some of the recruits might have pissed in the pants right now. Oh how he enjoyed this. One of the men eyed him and looked ready to come with a snide comment, but Tony ignored him, no need to punch him yet.

“I hand out right hooks to all who breaks these rules too by the way.” Tony added.

“What's with the ego stride sir?” one of them asked sarcastically. Steve turned to stare, unlike most of the recruits who just stared ahead with face of either alarm, fear or amusement, or all of that. Tony stopped, took a step backwards and turned towards him.

“Step up.” and the man did.

“What's your name?” Tony asked.

“Gilmore Hodge sir..” the man answered with a sneer. Tony smiled sweetly again.

“Petty, give up on that kind of talk and maybe I'll get you out on the field too hm?” Tony said calmly, lacing his tone in sweet sugar, making most of the men shiver in fear and the man's face fell before he muttered something under his breath. Tony raised an eyebrow. Then he punched the man straight in the face, all like those years back when Bucky first arrived at camp.

“Let's do as following, every time someone talks to you, you answer, when you are not asked, shut the fuck up!” Tony snapped, glaring the man down like he was ten feet taller. The man slowly nodded.

“Y-yes sir..”

“Well well Stark, you're running them bad already?” Tony turned his head as he stepped back, before he turned towards the recruits.

“This is General Phillips.” Tony said. The General smirked.

“Back in line soldier!” he snapped at Hodge, who fell back into line, keeping his head high.

“Yes sir.” he sniffed so that the blood wouldn't start running from his nose and Tony was secretly pleased with himself.

“Corporal Stark is the best in the field when it comes to training and brains, listen to him, and you might actually survive this war.” the General said and Tony couldn't help but smirk a bit. Tony then noticed that someone else was looking at him. Those blue eyes he so easily recognized, remember and slightly feared. There was a judging expression in them, one he hadn't seen the last time they met and Tony shrunk in on himself. So much like him, too much like the man who had judged him so easily years ago. Tony straightened up before he sighed. The General smiled and patted his shoulder before he left.

“Okay, you are all dismissed, go your barracks, be up at revelry, follow the rules and do your training and I'm sure we'll make some fine soldiers out of you lot.” Tony waved them off. He stared after their retreating back. Maybe he could send a letter to Bucky about this? Hm, yeah, that sounded quite interesting, but his stomach was getting the better of him.

“Oh you little-” he muttered.

“After dinner then.” he said to himself, too bad he forgot it.

* * *

 

Tony watched from the shadows of the trees as the group of recruits neared the flagpole. Tony didn't even bother, there was no use, he had seen it so many times. No one ever got up and get the flag, but there was more than one way. Tony watched as Steve Rogers stopped up behind the rest, went over, pulled out the leverage and the pole fell, he grabbed the flag and jumped into the car. The rest just gaped after him and Tony smirked.

“So that's how he did it.. that guy's got some of cap in him then.” he said, deciding to go back to camp and see to it himself that this Steve turned into a soldier worthy of the title Captain. So he walked calmly back, finding Steve leaning against the car, looking a bit bored maybe.

“Well, I've got to say you really showed them back there..” Tony said as he walked over to the man. Steve turned his head before he gave a salute, and Tony felt his brain jump in joy at the 'captain' doing a salute to him, which was weird and insanely funny at the same time.

“Easy there soldier, wouldn't want you to pull a muscle, not that that should be a problem.. so, how's camp for you?” he asked. Steve made an odd noise through his nose before he sighed and hunched over a bit.

“Hate it..” he muttered. Tony smiled.

“Not unusual, so.. why did you enlist? I thought you said you didn't want to, you changed your mind?” Tony asked and Steve stared at him. Tony pushed the thoughts of the precious, adorable, innocent and naive Captain America into the back of his mind. Steve nodded slowly.

“I guess, I did tell you wanted to go by my own decision.. dad wanted me on the front line, Italy or something like that.. but there situation at home got so bad that I just wound up and left.” Tony nodded.

“Wont happen that fast, even your father should know that.” Tony said, taking out his notebook, looking at his resent scribblings. It had been two months since Bucky left for Italy. Steve had enlisted earlier yesterday and appeared on camp today, shocking Tony so badly he had to sit down for a good ten minutes. He wished he could stay calm, but knew that was far from true.

* * *

 

Tony sighed to himself. The sun was burning in his eyes and he wanted nothing more than to just shut it out, but how could he, a Corporal in the army taking such privileges? He didn't like the sun, never had when he was hung over, but then again, that was so rare nowadays that he seemed to have forgotten the aftereffect of getting drunk last night. Even though Tony acted firm and strict while drilling recruits, he still had his moments. It was a good thing Bucky was there, well, was. He hadn't heard from Bucky in a month. It had, of course, been four months since he went to Italy and Tony was often wondering when the disappearance would take place. He knew, after hearing it from his father, knew what was going to happen to Bucky.

“Fuck, now that I actually needed someone to talk to.” he muttered. Of course Bucky had been sent to Italy to the friendly lines. Sadly, Tony knew what it meant. 1942, the imprisonment of Bucky and, without a doubt, the appearance of Steve Rogers. In his world, this lead to the making of Captain America, the rescue of the POW's and the creation of Howling Commandos, that which ultimately led to the death of Bucky, which spurred Steve's resolve to beat Hydra. In this world, he didn't know if it would be parallel. Such a thing as superheroes wasn't real in this world, so there was no Captain America, no Red Skull, but there was a Hydra. This Hydra was just as crazy, but they knew little about this secret part of the Nazi's regime. Tony looked down, staring at the notebook in his hand. He hated not being able to do anything about it, but he couldn't influence the present and the future any more than he already did.

“Corporal Stark.” Tony turned his head, staring at the soldier standing there, holding a letter.

“What?” he asked, turning towards him. The soldier held out the letter. Tony put his notebook into his uniform jacket and stared at the young soldier with his usual, withering look. Having a headache right now didn't go well with a sudden letter.

“This just arrived for you sir, it seemed very urgent.” Tony took the letter and gave the soldier a serious look before he looked at the letter and froze.

“Barnes..” he mumbled before he crunched the letter in his hand.

“Thank you.” he muttered to the soldier, and then left. He knew it would be bad if he told Steve, he couldn't tell him yet, he needed time. He spotted a Sergeant heading his way and stopped, eyeing the man. He did a salute when the Sergeant stopped in front of him.

“Corporal Stark, you'll be packing up.” the Sergeant said and Tony frowned.

“For what sir? Am I getting shipped over?” Tony asked, trying to keep himself formal.

“Yes, today, with a new group, you'll be sent to the border of the Nazi war zone.” and then turned to leave. Tony clasped the letter harder.

“Wait, sir.. I.. I've just gotten the news, the front line in Italy, aren't we going to go after them? Save them?” he asked. The Sergeant stared him down and Tony immediately disliked him.

“It is of no concern Corporal, do your duty.” the man said and then he left. Tony stared after him.

“I knew it.. fucking bastards, they don't intend to help at all.” he grit his teeth.

“Ich hasse sie so sehr..” he muttered. He decided to do the one thing he might get punched in the face by reality for later. Go find Steve. He knew that he couldn't alter a world's history because it would be too dangerous for the future, but he knew that Steve would learn of this sooner or later, from who knows where, but he'd be damned if he wasn't in on the mission. He cared about Bucky just as much as Steve do and Tony never let his friends down considering he had so few and cherished those few selected ones that was able to stand his bitching and jerk-attitude.

“If he goes to the border in the same group..” he muttered before he grinned. If Tony was lucky, he'd be able to be right there, watching the entire thing go down, maybe even join in on the fight, and be damned if he couldn't at least help out in some way.

“This will be a lot easier than I thought.. kann’s nicht erwarten.” Tony looked up at the sky, nodding to himself. If he went forward with this, he might either screw up badly or save the day, so he assumed the latter would be best. He always assumed after all. Tony picked up his notebook and wrote down the date again, doodling some and scribbling down what he needed for the trip. Or rather, what he needed and what the army didn't need to know he needed. Maybe he'd get Howard to sneak some stuff in for him, which in itself was so weird to think about Tony almost started laughing. He closed his notebook and looked around, poker face firmly in place. It would do him no good if anyone thought he'd gone mad or figured out what he was up to. Tony stared at the barracks to his right, before he pursed his lips, clenching his fists.

“We're coming Bucky, hang in there.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's going down! :D  
> I didn't include Peggy here because she, well, she's not like Tony's world's Peggy, and anyway, I wanted Tony to punch Hodge..  
> I'd love to see Bucky's face once he hears Steve's enlisted, it'd be awesome XD
> 
> Translation:  
> Ich hasse sie so sehr.. - I hate them so much..  
> Kann’s nicht erwarten - Can't wait.


	8. Hydra Facility, 1942

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Steve decides to break their orders and go rescue Bucky.  
> Tony however, get's more than he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just me being sleezy and completely sleepdeprived doing this..
> 
> So, hurriedly posting this before heading to work.

 

“You interfered with the history?” Tony gave an offended look at that.

“No way, and you're the one interfering Fury, knock it off, I'm in the middle of talking, and trust me.. things are about to get nasty, it goes like that actually, everything goes down to a level of the seventh ring of hell, then up to a happy-go-lucky moment.. it's always like that with me, I'm probably cursed, what happens next.. isn't all to pleasant to think about, well, whatever I can remember anyway..” Tony said, taking a deep breath before taking a sip from his coffee, SHIELD's type of coffee reminded him of the old coffee, the slug that the army made back in the 40's. Tony sighed, thinking back. The attack on the troops Bucky was in, the rescue of the POW's, the making of Howling Commandos. This was were it all started.

“Then start talking Stark..” Fury muttered.

“Aw, raise your chin, it's not a sappy fairytale, this is a real story.. it was 1942, and Rogers and I decided to rescue Bucky..”

* * *

 

The camp was eerily noisy. Tony hated that much noise. He never actually let anyone know back in 2012, or in any of the years before, when he'd be on gala's and parties and whatnot, he hated the noise, he hated everything that walked, talked or smiled his way, he hated all the people chatting to themselves too, but for the sake of the company he put up a smile and braved it. Even his own birthday parties was loud. The only noise he easily liked was his music. There was however, something else going on too. Soldiers readying themselves, packing up, standing straight. The camp was ready to move to the front line, to fight on the edge of Nazi border. Tony frowned. He knew, unlike the rest what was going to happen, it haunted him, but he wasn't going to stand here doing nothing like some asshole.

“Fucking war..” he muttered. Tony turned as Steve brushed past him.

“Wai- Rogers.” the soldier didn't stop, nor did he even show a sign of noticing him. Tony couldn't help but stare in pity. The soldier rarely talked to him now, keeping the conversation purely business and formality and if not, Steve wouldn't even look Tony in the eye. Tony had often found the blonde glaring at him however. It stung, but Tony knew he deserved it. Three weeks had passed since they arrived from the US, it was September 19th 1942, and Tony could still remember the time he told Steve that Bucky had been caught by the Nazi's.

* * *

 

“Rogers.” Tony called out, stopping Steve as he was about to head back to the barracks. Steve turned towards him, staring.

“What is it Corporal?” Steve asked. Tony sighed, bracing himself as he held up the letter he had been holding tightly in his hand. Tony knew that the chance of getting punched was high after this, he didn't want to be, but it didn't matter, what mattered now was Bucky.

“I.. got a letter from Italy, from Bucky's group..” he said. Steve's eyes widened a tiny bit before he nodded, now eyeing the Corporal somewhat closer. He knew he had seen the concern in his eyes, but Tony couldn't tell him not to. Well, how to tell someone that their closest friend had been caught by the enemies? Tony wondered if there was a course to take for that, if there had been, he had missed out on those classes and was highly regretting it now.

“Yes?” Steve asked.

“Bucky, he was caught by the Nazi's three weeks ago..” Tony said and Steve's face fell slowly.

“What?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper and Tony sighed, like it pained him to do so.

“You heard me, I'm not saying it twice..” he muttered the last part.

“Bucky was caught? He- Bucky? How?” Steve asked. Tony shook his head.

“I don't know Rogers, it doesn't say anything about it in the letter..” Tony said. Steve ripped the letter out of his hand before he could stuff it into his jacket. While Tony gave him a sympathizing look, Steve's eyes scanned the letter before he thrust the paper back into Tony's hands, turning away a second later. Tony was a bit surprised by this sudden passive reaction.

“Rogers..” he began.

“Well? Is that why we're leaving?” Steve asked and Tony could only shake his head.

“No, I was told it's none of our business..” he said and Steve turned back, staring straight at him. Tony gave him his most suffering look, showing how much it pained him to be unable to go save Bucky himself.

“So..” Steve began, seemingly struggling to keep his anger and voice in check.

“You're saying we're just going to sit on our ass while Bucky is going through God knows what?” Steve asked. Tony gave a sigh, straining to keep his face straight.

“We're not allowed to go Rogers, we have our orders.” Tony answered and mentally groaned, he sounded like the captain, more than he'd ever want to admit. He was so screwed. Steve shook his head, his eyes narrowing at Tony, who glared back.

“I'm not going to, I'm not going to be a lousy friend and sit idly by while my friend goes through torture and whatnot, I care about Bucky and I will go even if you don't have the guts to!” Steve said and something snapped in the billionaire. Tony stepped into Steve's comfort zone and grabbed his collar, pulling him down to his height while he growled deeply from his throat.

“Don't you dare Rogers!” he spat and Steve's eyes widened slightly.

“Bucky is the only friend I have! If it was up to me we would already be on a plane heading straight for Bucky and slaughter the damn bastards that took him!” he snapped, growling. He was so tired of people thinking of him as some cold, senseless, arrogant man that couldn't care less if his men or friends got hurt or killed in battle. And to make it worse, he was getting more and more annoyed by Steve's approach to him. He knew the look Steve had given him. Judgment, telling him how low he was.

“You don't dare judge me before you know me Rogers.” Tony said, stepping away as a couple of soldiers passed. Steve stared at him before he shook his head.

“I won't stand by and let Bucky die..” Steve just said before he left.

* * *

 

Tony sighed. How could he have known Steve would judge him again after already having squared up with him once? It was so annoying he almost wondered if it was a lost cause trying to get along with the young soldier. Tony exited the General's office, a new mark on his jacket, but Tony couldn't get himself to smile at his new rang, he couldn't smile when he knew Bucky was in captivity somewhere, suffering. He looked around, soldiers making notes of his new rang and scurrying past so not to do anything that would offend the 'Iron Fist'. Tony snorted.

“Iron Fist my ass..” he muttered. Tony noticed Steve far off by his tent, but stopped himself from approaching. He had a mission to do, and he needed to make a call to do so.

“But we'll need help.. und ich kenne genau den richtigen Mann für den Job.” he grinned to himself. There was but one man he needed to call, and he hoped to anyone out there that he'd accept. Tony sighed, going for the nearest field telephone, which, despite Tony hating it for being so outdated, was a handy thing.

“Now then, off to plan a hit on Hydra.” Tony muttered to himself. He hoped no one listened in on him, or they'd reel him in right away. He couldn't risk this chance. Tony wanted- no, needed to be there. Tony entered the tent he was using and grabbed the field phone, quickly setting up a phone connection with the one person he hoped would do the work for him. Howard Stark. Howard was with another division, currently placed a few miles to their south, it'd be easier for them to go to him, because an hour by foot from Howard's, there was an air station, which would prove helpful. And Howard was one of the best pilots he knew, and he knew a few. Tony stated his name as the other end was answered and quickly stated whom he wanted to speak to. Soon Howard's voice came through the scratchy line.

“Hello Tony, what can I do for you?” Howard's voice came through the line.

“I need transport actually..” Tony chuckled at the end. He could almost see Howard raise an eyebrow at him, making that look that could only say 'what are you up to now?'.

“Transport? Are you doing something stupid again?” he asked. Tony laughed.

“You know me well, though, it's not really me, it's us, me and Rogers, and I know, without even talking to him that he wants to go save Bucky, who is held captive by the Nazi's.. you think you can help us with a ride?” Tony stated quickly. Howard whistled from the other end.

“That's a lot at once, but hey, why not? Where in German territory is it anyway?” Tony looked at the map he had within reach.

“It's Hydra territory..” Tony said and Howard fell silent for a few minutes.

“You sure? They're even more aggressive than the Nazi's, and that goes without saying how deep into Hitler's reign they are.” Tony nodded to himself.

“I know, but if I don't go, who knows what Rogers will do there..” he said.

“Yeah, I can understand that, you're going to break a few rules though.” Howard was chuckling.

“I know.. kind off figured I would and I've been promoted to Sergeant actually..” Tony laughed.

“And you're already breaking the rules? You just can't follow rules can you? Well, congratulations Tony, but seriously, just get here and I'll give you a lift, better prepare for some heavy fire.” Howard said and Tony grinned, doing a fist pump with his free hand.

“Thanks, I owe you a huge one for this.” he said.

“No problem, it's for beating Nazi's so I'm completely fine with it.” Howard explained.

“I see, well, I'll talk to Rogers and we'll probably start moving by dusk, it's just a few miles so we'll be there a little late, but we'll move quick.” Tony said and looked around before he grabbed his notebook, pushing the phone between his shoulder and head, keeping it steady as he scribbled down some few notes about this change of events.

“Yes, see you later Tony.” Howard sounded like an exited child right now. Tony smirked.

“Yes, likewise.” and then he hung up. Tony put away his notebook before he stood up.

“Well, let's get to work.” time to save the POW's.

* * *

 

It was getting late. Tony looked down at his watch again. He knew that sooner or later, Steve would come out of that tent with the intention of breaking every rule and going to save Bucky. And it was only a matter of time before Tony went there and got him himself, because damn Steve was late. There was a soft rustle and Tony looked up to see Steve sneaking out of his tent, carefully and silently jogging across to one of the military jeeps. Tony stood up, walking towards him.

“Leaving already Rogers?” he asked sweetly and Steve looked so insanely innocent and cute when he gave him that deer in headlights look. Tony almost grinned. Steve's face then hardened before he turned away, throwing his backpack into the car.

“You can't stop me Corporal.” he snapped.

“Actually, it's Sergeant to you, and no, I know I can't.” Tony said, walking over, grabbing his backpack on the way. Steve gave him another hard look, still not seeing his backpack. Tony wondered if anger made him tunnel-minded because it was kind of obvious what Tony was about to do.

“I don't care what fucking rank you are Stark, I'm going to save Bucky and you can't stop me!” he snapped and Tony just sighed before he threw his backpack into the car. Steve stared at him, his eyes widening slowly and his mouth fell. Tony was tempted at laughing at him.

“Who said I was going to stop you anyway?” he grinned at the soldier.

“Really? You've just become Sergeant and the first fucking thing you do-” he stopped when Tony chuckled. The blonde sighed as he realized what he was about to say.

“And who are you to say that? It's not like you're breaking any less rules than I am.. come on sweet cheeks, I've got us a ride over the border.” he winked. Steve nodded, then he stopped, staring at the Sergeant as he made his way over to the front of the military issue car.

“You were planning this the whole time weren't you?” he asked and Tony turned slowly.

“What? Nooo, not at all, just today really.” he said, smirking. Steve just shook his head.

“I'll never understand you..” he muttered.

“And you don't want to either, trust me, I know.. los geht’s!” Steve gave him a raise of the eyebrow and Tony groaned.

“I know, I sometimes switch language when I talk, I feel safer knowing people can't understand me, and no, I don't mean to speak German when I do.. I sometimes speak Italian, or Japanese and sometimes I speak Spanish, even Dari when I'm really pissed off.” Tony explained as he got into the car, Steve soon joining in.

“That's a weird habit.” Steve stated. Tony just gave him a toothy grin.

“I know, but it's kind of funny too, right?” Tony asked and Steve grinned.

“You're teaching me German when we're back Stark.” he said. Tony laughed.

“Sure, I'll teach you whatever you want Rogers.. when we get back.”

* * *

 

“Okay, this is as far as I can go without killing us all.” Howard yelled into the back of the plane as Tony and Steve strapped themselves up. Tony looked over at him.

“Thanks.” he yelled back before turning towards Steve.

“Here.” he gave him a tiny, black thing, like a box, a bit large than Tony's average phone.

“What's this?” Steve yelled over the noise.

“It's a tracking device, so that Howard can find us when we've rescued the lot.” Tony yelled back. Steve nodded, taking it and tucking it into his jacket, just over his heart. Tony gave a thumbs up to Howard before he followed Steve over to the door.

“Good luck!” Howard yelled over to them. Tony grinned back.

“Thanks, you too and again, thanks for the lift.” Tony yelled as Steve jumped and Tony soon following. The night sky easily hid them as they opened their parachutes. It wouldn't take them long to land in the forest, near the Hydra facility. The moment they hit the ground, they removed their parachutes and Tony gave one last look at Howard and the fading plane in the horizon. Now there was no return. He turned to Steve and nodded.

“Well, it's now or never isn't it?” he asked and Steve nodded. They quickly rushed off, keeping silent, on full alert and never once spoke until they reached the edge of the facility. Guards in black were walking around, checking for intruders such as Tony and Steve, but the two easily laid out a plan and snuck up, under and away from a truck, hid behind a tank, got up on a roof and from there went higher and higher until they came to the third floor, in which Steve broke of the hatch to a door and the two entered.

“It's fucking dark..” Tony muttered, but he could see the lights from the floor underneath through the metal floor made of grid. Tony moved to the side and Steve pushed past before they ventured across the floor. They could spot a guard walking across floor with opened holes with grid covering them. Tony could hear someone complain in English. He reached out, tapping Steve's shoulder.

“Two floors down, take care of them, I'll take care of the guard.” he muttered. Steve nodded and the two separated. Tony grinned to himself before he grabbed the rope he had brought along, tied it up well and flung himself over the railing. He slowly slid down towards the second floor, watching as the guard moved about. Tony waiting, a feet or so above the man's height until the man was turned away, then Tony flopped down and went straight for the German's head. He snapped his head to the side, silently killing him. The people underneath looked up in shock as Tony grabbed the guards gun and then the key's, which he threw down to the men underneath before he turned and ran out of the room. Tony looked around, seeing the hallway end in a corner and continue on for who knows how long. Tony walked down, cautiously looking out for any Hydra guards. Tony was sneaking down the corridor when he noticed a blank door with a tiny window and he peeked through, then he got the shock of his life. He tried the door and found it, surprisingly, open. He entered and stared at the man, who slowly lifted his head.

“Erskine? Abraham Erskine?” he asked, keeping his voice low. He stared at the man, who nodded.

“And who are you? You're not one of Hydra's guards.” Tony quirked a smile.

“I'm a US Sergeant, doctor, I came with one of my men to rescue the enslaved soldiers.. you, are a good man, how did you end up here?” Tony asked. He knew Erskine from his story times with his father, he knew what the man would do and in future and how big the impact on a certain, scrawny kid's life would be. The old man just shook his head.

“I got caught..” he murmured. Tony nodded.

“Then come with me, I can get you out and back to America.” he said, offering a hand, walking over to the man. Erskine just eyed him.

“There's nothing you can do you to help me son, you should get out and run the fastest you can.” Erskine said, shaking his head sadly. Tony just shook his head.

“How can I? I came to do a job, and I wont leave until I've finished it.” he said. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he didn't have time for this, he needed to leave. The place would soon go sky high and he needed to be out of reach, and that fast.

“Such great spirit..” Erskine just said. Tony laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Doctor, I know what you're capable of, you could change the entire fucking future with your mind, with your plans, and save thousands of people, why the heck are you giving up?” he asked. Erskine just shook his head.

“I cannot do much more now that I'm dying..” he said and Tony gaped. The Erskine he knew about, got shot after creating the first, and only super soldier, this on the other hand, was different.

“What?” Erskine just shook his head.

“Go.” he said. Tony shook his head.

“Not until you tell me doc.” suddenly the man raised a hand and a second later, Tony felt a needle through his clothes, through his skin. He stared at the hand to see a syringe sticking out of his arm.

“WHAT THE FUCK DOC?” he yelled, then shut up, looking over his shoulder.

“It'll keep you safe.. it's the least I can do to show you.. gratefulness for wanting to.. save me..” the man just sighed to himself. Tony just stared, eyes wide before his vision blurred, then the cloudiness disappeared and he found that his vision was even better. He grabbed the elderly man.

“Hey, doc, what did you do? What was that?” he asked, the syringe falling to the floor, breaking.

“Go.” Erskine said. Tony frowned.

“But-”

“Go!” Erskine snapped and Tony stood up, nodding.

“You could have changed a certain someone's life.. I mean it, you weren't born to die here..” he said. Erskine gave a dry laugh.

“I know.. and for that I regret.. but there's nothing else I can do, go.. save your friends..” Erskine said and Tony nodded.

“Goodbye Abraham Erskine.” he said, leaving and closing the door. The man slowly let go of the handle and turned, looking around. He heard something close to a few elephants down the hall to his right, knowing it was the escapees heading out for a battle of their own. But Tony didn't know if Steve had found Bucky yet. Tony ran down the hallway and stopped when he saw a pair of huge doors. He slowly entered and stopped at what he saw. The room was littered with papers and all seemed strangely important for it to be littered around like this. Tony stared at the map on the wall, seeing he flags.

“Uhoh, this is.. Hydra bases, great.” he grabbed a miniature map he found, used a pen and noted down the bases. Tony grabbed his backpack and whatever notes he could find. He stared around and saw a folder sticking out under a book. He grabbed the folder and stared at the name in front.

“Anthony Stark? Fuck, they've got a folder on me?!” he muttered, but didn't open it, instead he stuck it into his backpack, separate from the rest so he could read it later. Tony made sure he had it all before he turned. There was still a hope Steve found Bucky before him, but he wouldn't know. Suddenly pain coursed through his body and he gave a yelp. Tony fell to the floor, ending up crouching. Tony wrapped his arms around himself, trying to control himself, somehow control the pain coursing through him.

“The fuck? What did Erskine do to me?” he wondered out loud before he braved the pain and stood up. He grabbed his backpack and the gun before he slipped out of the room. Tony ran down the hallway, back to where he started and stopped when he saw Steve. On his shoulder, Bucky hung, literally too. Tony's eyes widened before he ran over.

“How is he?” he asked. Steve shook his head.

“Getting better.” he muttered. Tony nodded.

“Great, let's get the hell out of here.” he said. And they tried, really tried, but then the facility started going under, so to speak and they were forced up. Tony watched as Steve and Bucky got to safety before someone intervened.

“Well, if it isn't Anthony Stark.” Tony turned to see a man in high rang Hydra clothes, hair slicked back and a sinister look in his eyes. A short man stood by his side, holding a bag. Steve eyed the tall man, not recognizing him. Tony knew who he was however, but didn't bother.

“And you are?” Tony asked back, loud in volume over the burning machines under them.

“Johann Schmidt, which you probably already knew.” Tony's eyes widened in faked shock.

“The head of Hydra..” he slowly said. The man nodded, smirking.

“So you know.. I do always wonder how much you actually know, but not today I am afraid, the environment isn't really fitting a chat.” he said and the man disappeared in through a door, the shorter man following. Tony cursed and saw Steve and Bucky, ready to leave, but waiting. Waiting for him. Tony crossed a beam that hadn't yet fallen and joined them. Tony almost stumbled. The pain was getting worse and he felt like he had a fever. Not good.

“Well, let's go.” he said as they both looked at him like he was growing a second head.

“You're going to tell us what that was about later.” Steve said.

“Yeah, if there ever is a later, I will try..” Tony muttered. They ran down towards the door to freedom and burst through the door and got the sight of their life. The soldiers that had been held captive was riding the facility for Hydra guards. It was amazing just watching. Tony turned.

“Let's get down, we need to get away.” he didn't know why he even said that, it wasn't like they knew the facility would blow up soon. Steve nodded.

“Help me out here..” he muttered. Tony nodded.

“You never said you enlisted..” Bucky muttered to Steve, who chuckled.

“Stark said something about socks.” he answered with an amused voice. Bucky stared for a long moment, then he turned to Tony, who was grinning slightly.

“Yeah, you win..” he muttered, Tony just patted his shoulder awkwardly.

“It's fine, come on Bucky, let's get the hell out of here alright? Drinks on me after this.” he said.

“Yeah.. hear you Tony.” the brunette answered dazedly. They somehow got down, Steve and Tony helping the slightly dazed Bucky. Down at the ground, they joined the rest. It went on for quite a while. Tony was about to fish out some nasty Hydra guard when one hit him in the head. Everything went around for him, but he remained standing, though he could feel the blood on his skull, running through his messy hair. Tony shook away the sudden chill on his body and the dizziness. Tony turned to look ahead and saw a Hydra guard pointing his gun at Steve and he spun around.

“Rogers, watch out!” he yelled, but to late. A bullet hit Steve in the chest and he fell backwards with a shout. Tony let go of Bucky in favor of checking out the fallen soldier and found him still breathing.

“What the actual fuck?” he asked. Bucky crouched beside him. Steve slowly sat up, looking like he was in pain, but alive, surprisingly. He pulled out the tracking device and Tony laughed.

“I never thought it'd end up saving your life, well, let's go- Rogers? The bullet went through didn't it? Is it.. in your chest?” he asked. Steve grit his teeth. Tony moved quickly, ignoring Steve's protest and pulled Steve's jacket to the side. The shirt was thorn where the bullet hit. He could actually see the bullet.

“Well, it's in your chest Rogers, literally, I need to remove it.” he said. Steve grabbed his hand.

“Not now, not the time.” Steve muttered and Tony nodded, ignoring his own pain. He was starting to sweat and he felt like he was heating up fast. Tony stood up, before he helped Steve get to his feet.

“Careful though, I'm not losing one of my best soldiers.” he said and turned.

“Okay, let's get out.. of here..” he wheezed, having to take brakes in talking to take a breath.

“Tony? You alright?” Bucky asked. Tony waved a hand.

“Yes, peachy, hurry up.” Steve nodded.

“An alarm went off earlier..” he said.

“Self destruction.. that Johann Schmidt, the idiot of a Hydra leader destroys this place and we'll all go to hell if we don't move now.” that got a move on the younger men. Tony started running as well, but he wasn't as fast. The pain was catching up to him, but he couldn't let go, not now. He needed to tend to Rogers too, he still had a job to do. They were twenty feet down the road when the entire factory blew up. They were thrown a few feet forward. It took them no more than that though. Tony pushed himself up, wheezing and grunting as he grabbed Bucky and staggered off, Steve right behind them. Ten minutes into running, stumbling and whatnot they stopped. Everyone who wasn't injured helped those who were. Tony grabbed Steve and pushed him to sit on a stump by the road. The blonde protested a bit, but Tony just glared at him, fetching his backpack.

“Just.. sit!” Tony snapped and Steve sat down. Tony pulled at the man's jacket and got Bucky to help him remove the jacket and move the shirt underneath so Tony could get to it. Tony pulled out the tweezers he had begun to carry in case of bullets. He pressed a hand against Steve's chest.

“Grit your teeth Rogers, this is gonna sting.” Tony muttered and Steve nodded.

“Figured as much.. fuck!” he cursed as Tony pressed the tweezers against Steve's wound, trying to get the bullet out, which wasn't so hard, if he could only get it. Tony managed to grab the bullet and slowly pulled it out. Steve let out a sigh when it was out, but now it really started bleeding.

“We're not finished Rogers.” Tony muttered, dragging the front of his hand over his forehead, clearing the sweat. He knew he had a fever, but he couldn't close his eyes and sleep yet, they weren't back at the camp yet, and they couldn't get outside help. They had to keep moving to keep from being caught by Nazi's. They had taken this short break in favor of removing the bullet from Steve's chest. Bucky came back, holding a small bowl he got who knows where.

“Here, I managed to boil some water, thought it'd be better that way.” he said. Tony smirked.

“Thanks, hope you put out the fire though.” Bucky grinned.

“Kind of obvious.” Tony nodded and grabbed the needle

“Well, Rogers, better get ready.”

* * *

 

There was an unusual silence in the camp, except for the few soldiers walking around, just chatting, the rest was doing what they had been ordered to do, train, keep guard and fucking stay out of trouble. General Phillips kept a close eye on them, not having more soldiers run of to 'save' their friends. Howard paced in circles.

“They should have been here by now.. they should already be back..” he muttered to himself.

“Why the fuck did you even help them?!” the General snapped and Howard inched away.

“I believe they can do it, Tony, and that Rogers, they're both something else, they can do this, they haven't lost yet, I know it.” he said.

“Then why haven't they contacted us yet?” Phillips asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe the tracking device was damaged? Tony would probably fix it though.” Howard said.

“And now I've lost a fucking Sergeant too.. great..” the General said, groaning. The soldiers outside was beginning to make noise and the two stopped, turning.

“What the fuck is going on?” he muttered, walking out of the tent, followed by Howard. At the gate, with Steve Rogers and Tony Stark in lead, was one huge group of soldiers. Tony looked like he had seen better days. Steve's jacket was bloodied up and the rest could probably use a year's worth of food and rest. Tony stumbled a bit, but kept going. They were greeted warmly by their fellow army soldiers as they came into camp, both Steve and Tony stopping in front of the General.

“Some of these soldiers need medical right away, and.. should we go get ready for Disciplinary Actions sir?” Steve asked and Tony could help that his mouth twitched upwards.

“No need soldier.” Phillips said and left. Howard came over a second later.

“I was worried you'd actually disappeared for a moment.” Steve pulled up the tracking device.

“Couldn't call the ride.” he said. Tony chuckled.

“Well, now that that's over with, I think I'm going to hit the shack..” he said, turning to leave.

“Tony? Are you alright? You look awful.” Howard said, gently grabbing Tony too look at him.

“Peachy.. look, I'm just really sleepy..” he muttered. Steve raised an eyebrow.

“You're worse off than any of us Sergeant, anyone could have noticed that you're in a bad shape.” he said. Bucky nodded, then he stopped short.

“Wait, Sergeant? You've finally been promoted?” he asked. Tony stuck his tongue at him.

“Yeah, finally.. now.. please...” he stumbled a bit as Howard placed a hand against his forehead.

“God, you're burning up.. and.. are you bleeding?” Howard asked, alarmed. The man had noticed the bloodstains in Tony's hair, seen the work it had done. Tony wriggled away, then he stopped, swaying for a bit. He closed his eyes, the world spinning before it fell to the side. Tony groaned as he managed to get the world right again.

“Yeah, you're going to medical.” Bucky said.

“Fuck that, get Rogers looked at, he was shot in the chest for fuck's sake.” Tony muttered.

“Really?” Howard eyed the blonde soldier.

“You took out the bullet and sewed the wound Stark, there isn't much problem.” Steve said.

“I did? When? Huh?” they seemed alarmed by this sudden confusion. Tony seemed even more confused, then he stumbled a bit.

“What the- what's.. where am-” Tony suddenly grasped his chest, falling forward. Howard grabbed onto his shoulders to keep him straight.

“Tony, what's going on? What's happening? Help me out here..” he said to Steve, who nodded. Tony just shook his head, pushed Howard's hands away. Soldiers was stopping up, staring at the Sergeant who struggled to keep himself steady. Bucky stepped closer as well. He exchanged a worried look with Howard before he looked at Steve, who shook his head, having no idea what's going on.

“I'm fine, perfectly peachy.. just.. a moment of loss, but seriously.. are we finished? Is the fight over for now? When are we back in camp?” he asked and Howard frowned, concern all over his features. Bucky and Steve exchanged glances.

“You are in the camp Tony, you returned just now.” Howard said.

“Really.. that's good.” he said before his eyes rolled into the back of his skull and he collapsed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus Tony collapses ahahaha.. yeah..
> 
> Translation:  
> Und ich kenne genau den richtigen Mann für den Job. - And I know just the man for the job.  
> Los geht’s! - Let's go!


	9. Aphasia And Amnesia, Not a Good Combo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony finally wakes up, only to realize something's wrong.  
> why does he have trouble remembering?
> 
> And Howard catches him off-guard, will Tony have to tell him the truth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha, have some hurt Tony :D  
> No, srsly.. I feel like I'm doing some sort of torture here, he's suffering and I'm doing nothing..
> 
> I regret nothing.
> 
> And so, whoop the hoop, let the ripple effect start!

 

Sometimes, Tony could hear voices before slipping off into darkness again. Other times he could see blurry pictures of people looking at him. It was weird and it was scary. It felt like he was back in Afghanistan, with people talking languages he couldn't understand and doing things to his body that he couldn't stop. Then he'd sometimes feel hands, though gentle. Sometimes large, sometimes smaller, he couldn't make them out, he'd just turn to the darkness instead. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, but he could hear, he could see and it was frightening, being unable to move and hear what's going on around you. The last he remember, was someone whispering his name, or maybe yelling, he didn't know, nor could he tell who. Then there was only darkness.

* * *

 

A sharp stab of pain, that was all Tony felt as the world danced together around him, slowly being put back into pieces. He felt a hand on his chest and his eyes opened immediately, his hands shooting up and grasped the hand hard.

“Ow.. Tony, it's me!” Tony's eyes moved to the owner of the voice and he slowly let go.

“Howard? Where.. I?” he asked, relaxing, though finding the right words was a lot harder than he thought it would be. Howard pulled his hand away.

“You're in the infirmary.. you collapsed after returning from the Hydra base.. we weren't quite sure what was wrong, even know we don't know..” Howard said. Tony nodded slowly.

“So it seems.. hey, were.. did- backpack?” he asked. Howard frowned.

“In your tent, it's been there ever since.” Howard said slowly and Tony frowned too.

“Ever since?” Tony managed to ask. He hated this, he looked at Howard and had to blink.

“It's been two weeks Tony, you've been slipping in and out of consciousness and we were beginning to wonder if we should ship you home so you could rest.” Howard said. Tony slowly moved and blinked several times, trying to clear the fog coming to his brain.

“Bucky? Rogers?” he asked next.

“In their tent, we decided to wait until you've either woken up or been shipped home with further work.” Tony tried, he really tried to wrap his mind around what the man was saying, but it was hard, his mind was only taking in half, and only words in between.

“I've got.. something, General.. like.. a lot..” Tony muttered. Suddenly his body literally bounced on the bed before he arched. Howard shot up, alarmed. Tony groaned loudly, pain throbbing through his body with vengeance.

“What the fuck..” Howard said as Tony moaned before darkness claimed him again.

* * *

 

“He really bounced?” the voice was familiar, he had no idea where he had heard it before, but he knew he had heard it. Someone he cared for, someone whom he had been in on saving. But who? Tony groaned, moving his head to the side before forcing his eyes to open. A pair of faces stared back at him.

“Hey, looking a lot better now.” the one who had spoken earlier said. Tony frowned.

“Who.. w-” the word stuck in his throat, he almost panicked, but then his throat relaxed.

“What were you saying?” Howard asked. Yes, Howard, Tony remembered him.

“Who.. are you?” he managed to stutter out and their faces fell.

“What?” Howard asked. Tony shook his head, looking at the other.

“What? It's me, Bucky!” Bucky? Nope, no bells ringing there. Tony frowned. His memory was a large patch of sheet with lots of holes. He knew he had heard the name before, heard the voice, seen the face, but he couldn't place him, couldn't remember him. His mind was so fuzzy, like someone was wrapping his brain with cotton, or was that the right word? Tony shook his head to clear it, but wasn't able to. It felt like his brain was cutting of the dictionary for him, taking out words he apparently didn't need but really did. And it scared him.

“Tony..” Howard sat down beside him.

“You really don't remember?” the man asked and Tony looked at him, then shook his head.

“Bucky, get a doctor.. Tony, you might..” Tony nodded, to fast for Howard to finish.

“Amnesia.. don't.. think it .. permanent.” he managed.

“.. what? Tony, oh my God.. might be Aphasia, it makes sense, but how? Were the damage to your brain so badly you got both Aphasia and Amnesia? But then..” Tony's mind only filed out Aphasia for him and his eyes widened. He knew that word and with it, came further knowledge. His brain throbbed painfully as pictures, faces, memories returned of the brunette that was stomping his way into his hearts.

“Bucky!” he said, despite coming out oddly. Howard nodded.

“F- friend..” Tony stuttered out, looking at Howard, who nodded again.

“Yes, since 1940, do you understand what I'm saying?” Tony tilted his head to the side, his eyes narrowing to focus on Howard's face. He frowned, furrowing his eyebrows as he concentrated on what Howard had just said. The doctor arrived and gave Tony one look, then Howard one before he sighed.

“What's happened?” he asked. Tony turned slowly, looking confused.

“It might have been more serious than we thought..” Howard said, getting up. Bucky came up behind the doctor, looking concerned.

“He remembers by the way, it took him some time, but he remembers you now.” Howard said and Bucky's face lit up in a relieved, happy look that made Tony's hearts thump loudly and his face to heat up. Tony liked the look on the man's face, it made him happy knowing Bucky was happy too, it was all that matter right?

“But..” Howard began and Bucky froze, his smile somewhat falling on one side before it completely disappeared.

“But?” he looked over to Tony who was struggling with finding the right words, or even understanding what they were saying.

“He seems to have Aphasia.. not severe, but enough for it to be bad, the head wound he had from earlier is the likely cause, it caused head trauma that was bad enough to create Aphasia..” he said. Tony looked up at them, frustration clear in his eyes. He opened is mouth,ready to tell them he was fine, but he couldn't find the right words, so he just closed his mouth, glaring down at the floor. The doctor walked over, watching Tony.

“Expressive Aphasia would be the best guess, most of the other types aren't aware of their mistakes or struggling, and it's a good thing, it's the mildest form, so it wont cause much trouble.. he probably wont even need to retire from the army.” the doctor said.

“Can.. smooch..” Tony tried and Bucky gaped.

“What?” he asked. Howard frowned.

“It depends, you mean.. talk?” Howard asked making Tony nod fast, clearly frustrated.

“So he tries to say talk and says smooch instead?” Bucky asked.

“So it seems, we'll just have to figure out of it's permanent or not, and dear God let's hope it isn't.” he said. Bucky nodded.

“Bucky..” Tony called and Bucky looked at him, walking over.

“Hmm?” he sat down beside him. Tony looked at him, watching as Bucky smiled softly, waiting for him to talk. Tony opened his mouth, trying to find the right word.

“Jericho..” he stuttered out and Bucky eyes widened. He would know that word since the time when Tony had the relapse from water. It was a word he only used when speaking about forcing something, in other words, he was forcing himself right? He hoped Bucky would get the meaning of it. Then Bucky smiled.

“Don't force yourself pal, you'll be better in no time.” he said. Tony stared at him for a long time.

“Pack.. paper.” he said, frowning slightly in frustration. Bucky frowned.

“What papers?” he asked.

“Tony was speaking about his backpack earlier before he had a relapse, maybe he found something in the Hydra base?” Howard said. Tony began moving out of the bed.

“Tony, you shouldn't get up yet.” Bucky began, but Tony shook his head.

“Help.. find paper.” Tony muttered, getting dressed instantly, having his back to them.

“He is healthy as always except for his verbal challenge, if he's already developed it, there's nothing we can do but help him back to full verbal pronouncing.. starting now.” the doctor said.

“Does that mean Tony will be sent home?” Bucky asked and Tony turned around, eyes angry.

“No go.. h-h-..” he tried. Tony frowned again. The word was stuck in his throat, he was well aware of which one he wanted out, but it just wouldn't. They could probably see that he struggled and he felt ashamed, Tony didn't want to be pitied or sympathized with, the only thing the former billionaire wants is to finish the war and maybe snag Steve's underwear and stuff it into his girlfriends purse. Which he'd get killed for, but it would be so worth it.

“It's okay, we'll find words to use instead.” Bucky said, getting up, standing by the older man's side. Howard smiled, watching them both with some sort of fond look in his eyes.

“You're a good friend Barnes, Tony's lucky to have you, help him out, keep talking, help him out when needed be.” he said. Bucky nodded.

“And you?” the soldier asked back.

“I'm going back to my camp to get my stuff, I have some books that might help Tony, then I'll settle down here, if Tony has papers on Hydra, then we have to move fast.” he said. Bucky nodded and turned towards Tony, nodding.

“Lead the way.” he said. Tony didn't answer, he just nodded and started walking. He didn't trust himself with words at the moment, at least not until he knows how far the Aphasia goes. Bucky watched as they exited the infirmary, Tony going straight for his tent. Upon arriving, they found Steve standing there.

“Finally.” he said, eyeing the Sergeant with crossed arms, despite it, his eyes was filled with relief. Bucky however, shook his head, which Tony didn't see because he was already walking into to the tent, looking for his backpack.

“Something up?” Steve asked, stopping Bucky before he entered the tent.

“Aphasia.. Steve, he was hit in the head remember?” Bucky explained.

“What's Aphasia?” he asked back.

“..something about not being able to speak perfectly.. or understand what he's told.. you'll figure it out, I can barely understand it myself, for now it's a secret okay?” Bucky said, looking around just in case. Steve nodded, turning towards the tent.

“Ich have sie!” came a joyed shout. Then Tony appeared, holding a huge portion of papers in his arms. Bucky stared at him.

“Did you raid a office or something? That's a lot of papers..” he asked, eyeing the papers with large eyes. Tony grinned at him.

“Me.. lucky.” he said, grinning from ear to ear, maybe because of the papers, or because he managed to say something that made sense. Steve stared at him as, before he turned to Bucky, who raised an eyebrow.

“You spoke German right now right? You finished the entire sentence?” he asked. Tony's eyes widened as he seemed to realize something. Then he cursed in another language they've never heard before, in any case, he cursed in Dari, but they couldn't know that.

“Natürlich! Ich bin so dumm!” he snapped at himself.

“Again?” Bucky asked, eyeing the man with wide eyes, then he frowned.

“Sorry, but non of us understand German.” he said. Steve sighed.

“There's probably someone who can translate.” he stated and Bucky nodded.

“Go call Stark, we need him here fast and tell him to get someone who speaks German.” he said. Tony was smiling from ear to ear before he trotted off. Bucky stared after him.

“I'll.. make sure Tony doesn't kill himself..” he said and ran after the Sergeant, very aware that Steve was cackling loudly.

* * *

 

“I hear Tony's managed an entire sentence, twice, what's going on?” Howard asked, entering the office in long strides. Bucky looked up from some papers he was about to give to one of the officers.

“On German, yes, that's why we needed someone who could translate.” Bucky said, tilting his head slightly. Howard gave a curt nod to a Sergeant who passed him.

“I can, I fluently speak and understand German.. so, where is he?” Howard explained. Bucky pointed over to the large map laying across the huge table. Tony was placing out a small building on several places, then he spluttered some words on German before moving on, he went on like that three times before Tony looked up, and their eyes met. For a moment, Howard only saw a ten year old with his newest toy, not a forty-something year old man with Aphasia.

“Ich hab’s alles aufgeschrieben.” he exclaimed and Howard smiled.

“What did you note down?” he asked. Tony looked a bit confused before he grinned.

“House.” he pointed at the map. Howard stared at them before he understood.

“Hydra bases?” he asked and Tony nodded.

“Ich sah eine riesige Karte und schrieb es nieder.” he said.

“I see, well, good job Tony.” Howard said, patting his shoulder and Tony grinned again.

“So, he saw what?” Steve asked.

“He came across a map with the other Hydra bases and wrote them down.” Howard said.

“Wow.” Bucky whistled.

“That was all the papers?” he asked, looking at Tony, whose head tilted to the side, eyes narrowing in confusion.

“Papiere, Sie haben Papiere in der Hand gehalten..” Howard told the other genius. Tony nodded.

“Genau hier.” he said, picking up some folders and a lot of papers, handing them to Howard.

“These are.. weapons plans, and.. personnel files?” he asked. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Must.. cray.” Tony said, then his face flushed and he looked horrible ashamed. Some of the soldiers around them turned, staring, but Howard shrugged, gently patting Tony's shoulder again.

“So it seems, are they that important?” he asked and Tony frowned.

“Sind sie so wichtig?” Howard asked again and this time Tony nodded.

“How?” Steve asked. Tony glared lightly before he talked to Howard in rapid German.

“Seems they were doing some sort of experimenting on certain people.” Howard said and suddenly Bucky paled. Tony looked down.

“Es tut mir leid..” Tony murmured as if he knew everything. Bucky looked away from the rest, a horrible pained expression on his face. Steve turned, looked at Bucky.

“Did they..” he began, but Tony slammed a hand into the table, startling everyone in the room.

“Lass… lass es einfach!!” Tony snapped. Bucky gave Tony a surprised look.

“He says don't.. just don't.” Howard explained and Bucky suddenly smiled shyly and yet grateful at Tony, causing all sorts of things to happen to the former billionaire, who smiled back. He hadn't expected Bucky to smile back like that. Tony just wanted to protect him, there was no way to know what the man went through in the Hydra base, but in his own world, they seemed to have tried a formula similar to the super serum that made Steve into Captain America, but failed. Howard had told him stories of how the sniper had suffered horrible nightmares and screamed long into the night, even hitting Steve sometimes went unable to wake up. Tony knew that that was as close to PTSD as he was, only he had yet to actually hit anyone because of it. Tony did however wake up with some nasty bruises sometimes.

“Thank you..” Bucky murmured. Tony just nodded.

“Gern geschehen.” Tony answered, grinning a bit more. A red tinge appeared on Bucky's face in form of a blush, but then he shook his head and just scratched his cheek.

“So, yeah, it's about that kind of thing.” Howard said after a pause. Tony tilted his head slightly before he frowned, after a few seconds he nodded in agreement. Steve stared at the files before he glared at them as if they were the cause to everything bad.

“Well, let's get started then.” Howard said. Steve and Bucky nodded.

“This.. is going to take a while.” Steve said.

* * *

 

“With this base taken, we only have a few left, we're blessed with a great deal of luck, and of course, Anthony Stark.” General Phillips said, eyeing the map in front of them. With Steve and Bucky in lead, the group, now known as Howling Commandos worked their way through Hydra territory, taking down facility after factory. Tony usually tagged along on their little trips, but today he was back at camp, resting and working on his speech. It annoyed the Nazi's just as much as it annoyed Hydra that they were loosing facilities. As of no surprise, Tony had taken a liking to the books Howard had brought and was often reading them when he wasn't talking with Howard about possible new weapons, of course on German. Tony proved to be fully capable of continuing his work as a Sergeant despite his obvious speech problems. There was frustration, but it was low because of the help he got from Howard. The wound had healed nicely and Tony was slowly but surely getting better vocally too.

“Teeth.” he said, pointing at one of the higher bases, one on the border to Poland, he continued to stare intensely at the map, oblivious to his own mistake. Phillips gave Tony a shocked look, but Howard was quicker and jumped in.

“Like, more aggressive, they will meet a harder fight there.” he offered. Tony nodded, then mumbled something on German that Howard didn't translate, because, quite frankly, everyone would have been wincing if they heard it.

“Well, let's just finish it off quickly and then it will be no problem.” he said.

“Sir, the Howling Commandos returned.” a soldier announced and Tony lit up, straightening to look over at the door as Steve and Bucky stepped through. The two were quite a pair. Both looked ready to hibernate for a whole year, but couldn't and it seemed to frustrate them. They were littered in bruises and cuts and their clothes definitely needed to be changed.

“You'll be going North next, we've gotten word Johann Schmidt's assistant and scientist, Dr. Arnim Zola is on a train to his next base..” Phillips voice was a summing sound in the background as Tony tuned it out, but he had heard the most important, his aphasia filing out the not so important words for him. He looked away before he turned and picked up his notebook. Tony had recently started reading up on the notes. From time to time he'd wake up not remember much after going through the portal, then he's slowly remember, but those were getting less and less, the doctor said it was the amnesia, but it would be gone soon, which did puzzle the doctor who had suggest it might be a trigger type, so something could easily trigger the amnesia and he'd lose his memories again. Tony didn't think to much about it, the more depressed he got, the worse the aphasia got too. Tony fumbled with the papers he held. Even if he didn't look like he thought about much because of the aphasia, his mind was reeling a hundred miles an hour. He knew what was going to happen, he wanted to tag along, help out, but knew he shouldn't. Tony knew he couldn't step up and tell them. He stared at them as the men left. It hurt, no, it burned, thinking about what would happen. Who they'd loose. He, most of all, couldn't take it, if he lost him, he'd suffer a lot more through this war than he originally thought.

“We put down the dog..” he murmured. Howard turned, staring at him.

“What do you mean? Someone's going to die?” he asked. Tony turned away.

“Not.. important..” he managed, then he lit up giving Howard an exited, but shocked look.

“You managed it Tony, you're getting better.” Howard said. Tony smirked.

“Do.. best..” he said, then he frowned.

“Do my best..” Tony muttered, before he got up and left, going back to his tent. Tony sat down on his bed, the springs creaking under him. He picked up the papers he had brought, the ones he hid, the ones about him. He read through them again, just like he did every night. Now he knew why there were after him, why they wanted him. And after this, they'd want him even more. He could not think about how Erskine managed to do it, but however it went, Tony would soon be free of this torture. Though he also wondered what the old scientist had done to him. Tony had no idea, but he needed to figure out what was in the syringe, and preferably soon. The aphasia was giving away, and so were the amnesia, for it to give away so soon, it wasn't normal.

“Tony.” he flipped the folder shut, then looked up to see Howard in the opening of the tent.

“What?” he asked. Howard eyed the folder, but he didn't ask, instead he focused his eyes back on Tony, who tilted his head slightly, frowning.

“There's been some changes.. we might need you out on the field soon.” Howard said, looking like he didn't like the idea a bit, but didn't have any choice in the matter. And he didn't, Tony was a soldier, he was in the army and Howard wasn't. Tony nodded slowly.

“I'm ready..” he said, finding himself unusually unhappy despite the fact that he just succeeded.

“Good.” Howard nodded.

* * *

 

There was an odd silence in the air as Tony watched the men enter the camp. He was standing there, watching as they passed. Nothing could describe the fears Tony had had the last day, the nightmares was getting worse, but he could handle those, it was the dreams of Bucky dying that had him grasping for some leverage while he gulped for air, fighting the tears. They'd gone on the mission, going for Zola, but no one knew what Tony knew, that Bucky would fall, that he'd disappear and die in those mountains. Tony feared that the last time he saw Bucky, would be their last ever, now, however, he was having the shock of his life. Both his hearts probably stopped for a split second when he saw Bucky walking and talking with Steve, who looked oddly serious. The genius knew why, and he knew that if the rest knew, they'd be hounding him. Tony just continued to stare before he fled to his tent.

“No.. that's.. fuck..” he muttered, opening his notebook quickly to write it down. Bucky had survived, how he didn't know, but Tony would find out later, right now he needed to find out what he was going through himself. He had just put away his notebook, hiding the folder from the Hydra base when pain coursed through his body and he gasped, doubling over. He hit the ground hard, just laying there, convulsing in pain before he gave a soft cry, his eyes closing as his throat constricted. His hearts was beating desperately against his chest and if he had looked at his chest without the metal plate, he would have seen the light of the arc reactor flicker several times, spluttering to keep up. Tony tried to move, but his body just convulsed and he couldn't stop the stinging pain that went up his spine. He gave another cry, but knew no one could hear him, they were cheering loudly. Tony knew deep down that the men in the camp was far to occupied with the return of the Howling Commandos to care about their hurt, barely conscious Sergeant that was suffering from amnesia and aphasia in a tent some yards away.

“B-Bucky..” he whimpered. Maybe, if he screamed, but now, his throat clenched. He couldn't scream, only whisper and cry. The world began to spin, black spots appearing all over. And he closed his eyes tightly, nausea and dizziness fighting for dominance inside his body. Then the world stopped spinning, but Tony didn't open his eyes. The world slowly turned silent.

“Buc..” Tony gurgled and the world went black.

* * *

 

When Tony came to, he was laying, face down in the dirt, amazed that he was still alive. Tony groaned, rolling over. There wasn't that much noise, barely at all, but Tony stood up nevertheless. The Howling Commandos had returned just a short time ago. He looked out of the tent and stopped. Everything was dark, barely anyone still outside. He frowned before he went back in, picking up his clock.

“Four hours?!” he thought, staring at the hours. He had been laying face down in the dirt in his tent for four hours and no one had looked for him? Well, that was cold. But, who would come look for him? He turned, frowning.

“Howling Commandos?” he thought, then realized he didn't know what that was, who it was or even why he had thought of it. Tony sat down on the bed in the tent, his eyes wandering the place, trying to figure out what had happened, why he was here? Oh, yes, army, but why?

“I.. Sergeant..” Tony muttered, frowning. He remembered being diagnosed with aphasia, but he couldn't remember who did it. He couldn't remember, but he knew someone had been there by his side. He felt a companionship alike to which he had felt when he finally started fighting alongside his ragtag bunch of teammates in the Avengers. So why couldn't he remember them? Who were these people that had warmed up to his two hearts? Tony shook his head and turned to look and quickly located his folder. He knew it couldn't help, but he knew his notebook could so he hid the folder and picked up his notebook, in which he read when he needed to remember. Tony stared down the the pages, the lines nothing but shades to him to him in his aphasia-effected mind, but he could make out a name or two. Bucky. Rogers. And then, Howard. He frowned. He knew his father was named Howard, but this couldn't be the same man, or else he wouldn't have liked him. Tony threw the notebook atop his pillow, sitting down before groaning. Tony clutched his head with both hands and tried to remember, trying to will his memories back into their places.

“Tony?” a voice from the opening of the tent asked, causing Tony to let go and look at the man. He was familiar, his voice and his face, the way he acted, the blue eyes never faltering, but filled with concern. Tony felt more than just friendship to him, something so much more, warmer, softer, greater, but he couldn't remember. Tony gave a sigh of despair.

“Remember..” he muttered before he placed both hands on his knees, then he pressed his face into the palm of his hands. There was a clean slate on quite a few people in his mind. It haunted him that his own mind betrayed him like that. The man came over.

“Did the amnesia get you again?” the man asked. Tony nodded. He could see the man crouching in front of him and he slowly pulled Tony's hands towards him, forcing Tony to look at him.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked. A shake of the head and the man frowned.

“Steve?” he asked. Another shake.

“Stark?” he asked. Tony frowned. Why Stark? The only Stark he knew was himself, so he shook his head. Then he stopped. It was 1942, there was another Stark. Howard Stark, but Tony knew he couldn't be friends with his own father, he never was and never would be. So he tilted his head slightly, knowing his was frowning deeply.

“The war?” Tony nodded and there was a sigh.

“The Hydra base?” the man asked and Tony nodded.

“Aphasia?” another nod.

“Your friends?” a shake.

“Good grief, wait here and I'll get Stark.” he said and then he left. Tony stared after him, then he sighed. Why couldn't he remember? He looked at the notebook again. It took a mere minute before the man returned with another, who Tony recognized, but not from memories, but pictures.

“Tony, are you okay?” Tony frowned. Howard. Yes, Howard Stark, his once father. No, not his. He shook his head and turned away. It was possible that he had befriended this worlds Howard, but why? He had never gotten along with his own father, never known he cared until the Palladium poisoning that nearly killed him, and even then it had been from a recording.

“Fluffy..” Howard just frowned.

“Tony, what happened? Did you fall and hit your head? We thought it was weird when you stayed in the tent for four hours..” Howard said.

“Recalling amber from the pot.” Tony murmured, staring at his hands.

“Wow, I've never heard that one.” the other man commented.

“His aphasia is getting worse is what it means.” Howard explained. Tony turned, staring at him.

“What?” he asked.

“You did hear what you just said?” Tony nodded.

“Perfectly rowdy is not right.” Tony stated and Howard groaned.

“Okay, medical for you.” he said, causing Tony to flinch.

“No!” he snapped. Tony wasn't going to have his mechanical inlay discovered, ever.

“You've been there loads of time Tony, you were getting over your shyness a year ago.” the other man said and Tony glared at him. The man seemed taken back by surprise at the glare, there was flinch and a hint of hurt in the man's eyes and Tony felt like he had just stabbed his best friend in the back. Howard just stood up, giving the other man a pat of the shoulder.

“He doesn't remember most of things so we can't get riled up.” he said. Tony just huffed.

“Dad isn't really great either.” he muttered and Howard turned, his face going into an unnatural sort of focus, trying to decipher the sentence. The genius knew that look, it was when Howard knew something was amiss and he knew what. Tony looked down before his eyes widened and he shot backwards, falling onto his elbows. Tony grimaced.

“I.. crashed that one.” he spluttered. Howard raised an eyebrow.

“Really? I think you crashed a lot more Anthony Edward Stark.” he said and Tony looked down.

“Muttering lies of darkness.” Tony said slowly.

“How can you understand him?” the other man asked.

“Because I'm a genius.” Howard said and Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Connected loosely to the heir of knowledge and will.” Tony blurted out before he could stop himself. Tony slapped a hand over his mouth, staring wide eyed at Howard, whom turned towards the other man, looking gravely serious.

“Bucky, please leave us alone for a moment.” he said. Tony tilted his head to the side. So that man was Bucky, was that even his real name? It was weird. Tony shook his head, blinking several times to try and will his memories back into place, but nothing came. Bucky slowly nodded.

“I'll go and see what Steve's up to.” he said, staring at Tony for a sort minute, then he sighed in a resigned way and left. Tony frowned. Who was Steve? He didn't know. He could recognize the name, but if it was connected to Steve Rogers, the Captain frozen in time and returned in 2011 to fight a battle long overdue then he was very screwed. Howard grabbed a nearby chair and sat down in front of Tony, all serious and frowning.

“Okay, tell me who you really are and where you're from.” Howard asked and Tony looked at him like he was growing a second head. He knew he shouldn't do this, knew he should just do something to lead it away, deny it, anything, but he couldn't. His head was still throbbing and Tony wanted nothing but to close his eyes and sleep, yet Howard's earnest and very serious face kept him at bay. Tony groaned, before he fell over.

“I can't remember!” he said, clutching his head.

“You can, you're just avoiding the subject, you think I can't notice a lie?” Howard asked, raising an eyebrow. fuck his dad for being too smart. Tony closed his eyes tightly.

“Can't.. can't..” he tried to find the right word, he really did, but it wouldn't come.

“Tell me? I think I have a right to hear this.” Howard said. The expression on his face grave and serious. Cold. Tony opened his eyes to see that and the look in his eyes must have done something because Howard's face softened.

“Who are you?” he asked gently.

“Tony..” Tony whispered.

“Tony who? Are you really a Stark? Because I'm pretty damn sure I'm the only one.” Howard said and Tony slowly sat up, not looking in Howard's eyes. How could he? He was from the future, the future of another world. His dad hadn't been the greatest, he didn't want to know how this Howard was. Yet, he felt like this Howard was a man his own father could have been, but had never taken the chance to be.

“Tony..” Howard's voice had a warning tone in it. Tony just sighed.

“Future..” he muttered and Howard's eyes widened.

“What? So you're saying.. you're from the future?” he asked. Tony shook his head.

“Other.. planet..” Howard frowned.

“What? You're an alien? You really gotta decide!” Howard muttered. He looked like he was about to get a massive headache, and Tony couldn't blame him. Tony nearly laughed at that, because, in a way, he was, but his memory less mind really wasn't giving him the time of the day to laugh. Of course, his hearts were as alien as they could be, but that was the only alien thing about him, that and.. well, the arc reactor really.

“I.. parallel..” Tony groaned. Suddenly his arm burned and he cried out, clutching his arm, trying to ease the stinging pain. Howard frowned, but acted quickly, grabbing his arm and showing his shirt up his sleeve. Tony tried to pull away, but couldn't due to the massive pain.

“What the- what is that?” he asked, eying the blueish crisscross across the other man's arm, going from his wrist to his elbow.

“When did this appear?” he asked, looking at Tony.

“Now..” Tony admitted. Howard frowned deeply.

“That can't be, for something to appear so fast..” he fell silent as he watched the blueish rash grow in inhuman speed up under Tony's sleeve. Tony frowned.

“Erskine..” he muttered. He remember that, the man he met at the Hydra base, who literally stabbed him in the arm with a syringe. Howard nodded.

“A defect German scientist, yes I know, did he do this?” he asked. Tony nodded.

“We need to find him..” Howard muttered, but Tony shook his head.

“Put down the dog..” Howard nodded.

“He is dead, how did you know?” the younger man asked. Tony got a distant look on his face.

“Hydra.. base.. met him.” Tony managed.

“He was at the Hydra base when you rescued the POW's?” Howard asked, looking more worried now that he had when seeing the rash on Tony's arm.

“Syringe..” Tony began, then he suddenly felt like a bubble was forced down his throat before it exploded, leaving an opening, or it could have been his memories, yeah, that could have been a trigger too. Everything exploded in his head, his eyes widening as memories sort of trotted back to their places and he gasped, then he yelled out and Howard jerked back, alarmed.

“Howard! He stabbed me with a syringe! A fucking syringe, who does that now a days? Fuck, I thought he was going to capture me.. I know the Nazi's want me, but still.. oh God, he wanted.. he said he wanted to help, it'd help me later! Oh God, fuck, oh God.. I can't.. nope, not doing this! Howard, something.. there was something blue in that syringe, God knows what it was..” and then he shut up, feeling as shocked as Howard looked. Tony slowly put his free hand against his mouth, before he slowly lowered it, gracing his fingers against his lips.

“Wow.. not only did you completely move past your aphasia, but you said a lot more than any normal man can speak without taking a breath.” Howard said, and there was amusement in his voice. Tony frowned.

“I.. don't understand..” he muttered, then he looked at Howard before he stood up, despite the pain. He went over and got his folder, the one Hydra had on him. He went over and sat down.

“What's that?” he asked. Tony frowned.

“Something that can help me.. maybe..” he muttered. If he could talk fully right now, he'd use every second to do so.

“It's possible what Erskine gave to me is a Project Rebirth serum, but that's highly unlikely as the serum needs Vita-rays to manifest itself and there had to be more of it than one syringe, so it can't be it, whatever it was, he knew me and knew that the Nazi's wants me on a surgery table, if I can figure out what he gave me and maybe also figure out what he actually did to me.” he muttered, not really leaving Howard any seconds to ask any questions.

“But if it isn't the serum, what can it be? Poison, highly unlikely, it'll kill me, but not after such a long time.. it's been what? Fucking five months, there is no existing poison that takes this long, no, it's something else, some sort of neutralizing serum? What the fuck do you make that for these days anyway? No, it's a healing serum!” he finished, closing the folder, not having even read it. It was just like when he was home, in his workshop, he's speak at the speed of a chattering bird, not really focusing on anything around him but the subject of his speech. Tony huffed and groaned.

“It's a fucking healing serum of some sort, that's why the amnesia isn't affecting me all the time, but at random times and dates.. it's affecting my mind and body in two separate terms, which means it first heals the psychical wounds, then the mental ones.. fuck, how could I not see that earlier? It would probably explain my sudden relapse today, fuck, it explains everything, to fight of an incoming virus, first take in a small portion of said virus, I can't believe I didn't understand that!” and Howard promptly shut him up by pressing his hand hard against Tony's mouth.

“Okay, let me talk now!” he said and Tony's eyes widened before he slowly nodded. Howard pulled back his hand before he dragged his fingers through his hair.

“I can easily follow up on what you're talking about, I don't know what Project Rebirth is, but why the hell are you suddenly basing your recovery on something someone gave you through a syringe?” he asked. Tony tilted his head to the side.

“Didn't I say that? Erskine wanted to give me a little push, that extra step up the stairs to fight Hydra and the Nazi's.. I think he knew how much Hydra wants me on their table, how much the Nazi's wants me both dead and alive, I don't know how, but I think he had been holding onto that for some reason, maybe not for me, but for someone who could stand up and fight the German back into their little country.” Tony said, babbling for most of it.

“For talking a lot, your not saying much Tony.. okay, back at the start, who are you and where are you from?” he asked. Tony suddenly clamped his mouth shut. If he told him, he'd be in for a hell of a lot of trouble, he'd be altering the future far beyond preferred. Howard sighed.

“Okay, I gather that you're from the future, and you said something about parallel, I don't know what that means, but what's going on-” he stopped himself. Tony raised an eyebrow, waiting. Of course Howard would figure it out himself eventually, he was a genius after all, who do you think Tony had his intellect from?

“Oh God.. you're.. you're.. my family..” Howard stuttered. Tony sighed.

“More precise than that Howard, I'm yo- I'm sorry, I can't tell you! Can't really fuck up the history.. I'm gonna destroy space and time if I do that, literally..” Tony made to escape the other man by standing up, but Howard grabbed him, forcing him to sit down again.

“Tell me, who are you to me? Who am I to you?” he asked. Tony gave him a cold look, a look that had Howard completely taken aback and confused.

“To me? To you? The coldest person I ever came to know, the man who cared the least about me, well, at least the one I knew..” he said and Howard let go of Tony in shock. Tony sighed and dragged a hand through is hair.

“Look, I'm not from this world.” Tony began and Howard just stared blankly at him.

“What?” he asked.

“Fuck.. I hadn't ever intended on telling anyone.. I'm probably breaking every law of time travel.. or.. realm travel there is about now.. Thor's gonna kill me for this if he ever finds me..” he muttered. Howard inched back.

“You're.. alien?” Tony sighed.

“Are you repeating your questions Howard?” Tony teased. Howard smiled slightly.

“I know, but seriously, are you?” Tony sighed.

“No, trust me, alien don't look as hot as me.” Tony said. Howard grinned, so Tony did too.

“I don't know how long I have until the aphasia kicks in again, I'd like it to stay away like now, but knowing my luck, that's not going to happen.” Tony explained. Howard watched as Tony dragged a hand over his goatee. It hadn't been shaved today, so there was short stubs all over.

“Howard, my age is my truth, so is my name and my intentions.. I came here after sacrificing myself to save New York.. I cannot return, so I decided to bury my past with my civilian life.” Tony explained. Howard raised an eyebrow.

“So you really aren't going to tell me?” he asked. Tony groaned.

“I'm so going to beat myself up for this later.. okay, here's the deal! My name is Anthony Edward Stark, I was born March 3rd 1970.” Tony said and Howard's eyes widened.

“So you are from.. the future..” that wasn't a question, but Tony nodded anyway.

“In some way I am.. sadly, I grew up rich, spoiled and unloved..” he said and Howard frowned.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because my father was a dick and my mother was never home to care.” Tony answered.

“You're father.. wait, I'm the only Stark, does that mean.. I'm..” he fell silent when Tony nodded, giving him a short glance before he pulled out one of his Stark-joke-smiles.

“Surprise surprise dad..” Tony muttered.

“So you mean, I become.. a man who.. doesn't care?” he asked.

“No, I hope not..” Tony laughed.

“Why?” he asked back. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Because, as I said, I'm not of this world.. I come from a world parallel to this one, there was a you in that world too, everything is were it should be, I couldn't- can't change the time or history, too much going on, too much to change.” Tony said, shoulders sagging. The burden he held was far to deep for anyone to understand, Tony knew not to seek for understanding. Instead, Howard just nodded. Tony tilted his head slightly.

“I see now, the responsibility you have, you know when things happens, you know what will happen and how history will make it's way, that's a terrible job to have, to watch all this.” he said. Tony nodded, giving a meek smile.

“It is.. and it's not a job, it's a choice I wasn't able to make.” he admitted before falling silent.

“So there's a Steve Rogers and a Barnes there too?” Howard asked and Tony nodded.

“There is, I mean.. was, I noticed I wrote down Rogers and Bucky's names in my notebook.. I didn't think they'd be the one and the same.. parallel, but same anyway.” Tony said.

“So you know Rogers? Bucky too?” Howard asked.

“Not this Bucky, unfortunate events.. took him.. I know Cap- I mean, Rogers, because he's a hero in our world, a man of legend and a man out of time..” Tony's fond smile faded, a sad expression taking it's place. It stung, thinking about what he could have had and created if he had fallen back through the portal, safe, but he didn't know how it would have gone. Would his heart have given away completely? Tony didn't know, nor did he think it mattered suffering over it anymore. Howard tilted his head to the side.

“You said you can't go back..” he began, but Tony nodded, cutting him off.

“The portal closed.. I can't ever return, I was saved from the brink of death, but at a cost, I lost everything, my life, my reputation, my few friends, my job, my tower, my glory and riches!” he made a horrible, joking sound at the end and Howard's lips twitched upwards.

“So, you're a rich man then?” he asked.

“Rich? I was a fucking billionaire!” Tony said, laughing.

“You said.. you were born in 1970, so how come you know all those facts? Do the war.. last that long?” Howard asked. Tony stared at him, dreading the answer as much as he tried to find an alternate way of telling without actually telling Howard.

“You know I can't tell you that.. but.. you see, Cap- ugh, Rogers was a superhuman.” Tony said and Howard's eyes widened before he nodded for Tony to continue. There was a lost look in the man's eyes. And now, Howard could really see how old the man was, his eyes revealing his age. Tony took a deep breath, thinking back.

“He was frozen in the ice for nearly 70 years and woke up in a modern era, he almost freaked out, best part is he got really pissed off about being tricked upon waking up.” Tony explained, but he wasn't smiling.

“We didn't get along at all.. the first time we met, we fought against a demigod with daddy issues and the next time we met, we threw verbal bullets at each other and I was being my usual fucking spoiled self.. and I still regret not being able to tell him what I really meant..” Tony said, sighing. Howard just frowned, eyeing Tony for at least a minute in total silence before he opened his mouth.

“You couldn't?” he asked and Tony shook his head.

“I went through the portal during a fight just a few hours later, saving the world and pretty much saving New York from becoming friggin' a dead zone.” he said, giving a sigh of exhaustion.

“So when you say you sacrificed yourself-” Howard asked, stopping himself. Tony smirked.

“I flew a military weapon up through the portal and killed of all the enemies in one swipe.” Tony said, pride swelling in his chest. Well, wasn't that an ego-boost?

“You flew?” Howard asked instead. Tony suddenly looked lost again.

“I was.. maybe I was a hero too, I used to think of myself as a hero, the media seemed to think so too, but he didn't.. no one on my team did, I don't know how they feel about it now, it's been so many years since I left.. when I first met them, I felt so small and I realized that I wasn't the only hero in this mess..” Tony stated. Howard smiled gently, almost in a sad way. Tony looked directly at him this time.

“You see them.. I mean, you see him when you look at Rogers don't you? You see the man you used to fight with?” Howard said, but Tony frowned, shaking his head.

“I guess I do, I can't remember.. that aside, they're not the same, yet they are.. but..” he took a breath.

“I grew up learning not to care what other people said about me, that I needed to have a heart of iron, but.. I guess for once, there was someone who could still inflict verbal pain on me in ways I didn't expect, the last person who managed that was.. well, my dad.” Tony said, looking down.

“And? What did he say? Your world's Rogers.” Howard asked. Tony just sighed.

“That I was no hero, I'm nothing without my armor.. I'm not willing to put myself in the line of fire.” Tony said and Howard snorted, making Tony look at him in surprise.

“What?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at Howard's sudden reaction.

“You? Not willing to step in? I thought I had heard it all, but this takes the cake.” Howard said, shaking his head. Tony just tilted his head in confusion.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” he asked. Howard eyed him with shock.

“You are a hero Tony, in every way, if they saw what you have done these past years, they'd be eating their words.” he said, obviously not happy about how it came around to be, but Tony just shook his head. Howard dragged a hand over his mustache, eyeing the older man before him. Tony sighed, looked at nothing particular past Howard's shoulder, his eyes distant, but there was a great deal of pain and sorrow present in those brown eyes.

“Your picture of yourself is pretty low isn't it? It's wrong, you're closer to a hero than anyone.” Howard murmured.

“I'm no hero Howard, I can never be the hero, because it's not my job.. my job was simply advising, nothing more.. it's not like they could afford me anyway..” Tony chuckled.

“You put up high rent then?” Howard asked, amused. Tony actually laughed.

“Something like that, but seriously.. we should stop talking about this.. I can't really share anything because it can alter the history, besides, I just.. want to forget it, just, push it all away and continue being here, being Sergeant Stark, the Iron Fist.” Tony said as the tent door opened and Bucky came in, followed by someone else. Tony frowned. Howard did so too. The similarity between them was probably funny because the two men cracked a smile.

“Are you better Tony?” Bucky asked, looking a bit concerned, but Tony shook his head.

“I have no idea who you are, but yes, yes, I feel perfectly fine, despite that now not so painful sting in my arm, thank you very much.” he said. Though he knew the man behind and he couldn't believe his eyes, but he kept silent about that. Bucky sighed.

“I see..” he said, then he stopped and stared.

“Wait, you're talking perfectly, how can that be?” he asked. Tony grinned.

“The aphasia gave away for now, I don't have a flippin' clue how long, but I'm going to take my sweet time using it to my advantage, and by the way, I'm sorry, I really can't remember a fucking thing about you, either of you, my brain is turning to ooze as I speak..” he said, grinning at them.

“What..” Bucky seemed at a loss of words.

“You speak weird..” the other guy said. Tony knew his name. Steve, yes, Steve fucking Rogers.

“I do? I've always been speaking like this.” Tony answered. Howard shook his head.

“No, the you we've come to know is a bit more.. modest, and seriously you do have an arrogant tone in your voice.” Howard said, amusement clear in his tone. Tony blinked at him.

“I do? I hadn't noticed, when you grow up with it, you usually don't notice it, really, I'm freaking out a bit, stop staring at me like that! I'm not some freaking circus freak, I'm a completely normal human being with an insane number of scars on my body and a metal piece in my chest, so yeah, I'm fucking fine, peachy in fact.. so.. yeah- fuck!” he cursed and he doubled over, clutching his head. Howard stood up.

“What?” Howard asked, alarmed, but Tony just shook his head, still clutching it with both hands.

“The health.. serum.. whatever the hell it was.. it.. might..” he couldn't finished as the world tipped forward and he knew all to the well the familiar sensation of falling forward. Instead he felt arms wrap around him as he fell, keeping him upright. He heard voices. No, Howard's voice. Yes, his father. No, not his, but this world's Howard Stark, unmarried, and at the peak of his youth and intellect, a man Tony had never seen in his own father. With the memories of his own, drunken, cold father in his mind, darkness claimed him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, yeah.. Aahaha, it wasn't the plan, I swear, I hadn't planned on Howard finding out.. at first.. now I kinda knows..  
> I choose Expressive Aphasia because it's the gentlest, I've read at least two stories were Tony get's Aphasia, one in which he get's back to normal, and one where he never recovers and Jarvis uses music as a way for him to communicate with the rest of team.. *sobbing because of the heartbreaking story*
> 
> Translation:  
> Ich have sie. - I have them.  
> Natürlich! Ich bin so dumm! - Of course! I'm so stupid!  
> Ich hab’s alles aufgeschrieben. - I have them all noted down.  
> Ich sah eine riesige Karte und schrieb es nieder. - I saw a huge map and wrote them down.  
> Papiere, Sie haben Papiere in der Hand gehalten. - Papers, you were holding some papers.  
> Genau hier. - Right here.  
> Sind sie so wichtig? - Are they that important?  
> Es tut mir Leid - I'm sorry.  
> Lass… lass es einfach! - Don't.. just don't!  
> Gern geschehen. - Don't mention it.  
> 


	10. Howling Commandos, 1943

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Tony deals with his problems, the date of Bucky's death is nearing, as is the date for when Steve went down with the plane, but Tony is here, how will it go this time?
> 
> Howard and Tony makes plans for family and a closer bond?
> 
> And Tony get's a glimpse of hope in the form of a former teammate appearing close to the end of Schmidt's scheme, but at the cost of his precious secret getting out to one more person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck, I was having such a moment at 999 hits I just went screaming to the floor! C:
> 
> It's beyond fantastic, so here's another chapter after all (I mean, it hasn't even been hour!)  
> I'm sailing this ship, dun care if it sinks or flies, can't get me off WinterIron anymore.. :V

 

As Tony came too, he found himself in the infirmary, again. Tony groaned and someone moved beside him. He opened his eyes slowly and let the face into his memories.

“Howard..” Tony croaked. He felt like he was burning up. Howard pressed a hand to his forehead. It was soothing, somehow. It surprised Tony how Howard acted, but it calmed him, and he relaxed.

“Ssh.. sleep, you'll be fine, you just have a fever, sleep Tony..” Howard murmured and damn if that gentle smile didn't push him right back into sleep again. But of course he didn't stay asleep for long. Tony awoke with a strangled cough. He looked about, then noticed the light outside was diminishing. He looked about and saw no one, so he sat up. Tony felt fine actually. No, he felt too fine. The former billionaire looked down and saw that the blue rash from earlier was gone. He worked his mind to figure out what was wrong, but couldn't so he sighed. He remembered falling over, the pain in his arm barely vague from the pain in his head. Tony laid down, giving a yelp when he felt the sting of pain in his arm and looked at it. Of course, not the scars. Tony always stared at the scars when he remembered his time in Germany. The large, reddish scar that ran all the way from his shoulder to his wrist, just like the one that went from his hip to his ankle. A silent reminder of the landmine he had nearly stepped on. Someone moved past the curtain before entering and Tony recognized him right away, a smile working across his face, despite his head giving him warning bells to ring.

“Bucky, shouldn't you be eating or something like that?” he asked. Bucky's eyebrows rose high.

“You remember?” he asked, eyes suddenly lit up and Tony cracked a smile.

“Yeah, memories returning over night or something usually does that, oh who am I kidding? I don't know why it all happened, seriously, I shouldn't be able to speak like this right now, much less remember you, so obviously, I don't have amnesia and aphasia currently, but I can't get rid of them that easily..” Tony explained. Bucky nodded, coming over. Tony, for once, ignored the warning bells ringing louder. Couldn't he take some time to just enjoy having Bucky around? It didn't mean he'd go further than that, he wasn't stupid after all.

“So, how do you feel?” Bucky asked, dragging a chair to the bed. Tony sighed.

“Like I've never been better, it's strange, even the pain in my arm's almost gone, my guess is that the serum that Erskine gave me finally did it's job.” he said as Bucky sat down by the bed.

“Is it possible to.. get rid of aphasia that easily?” Bucky asked. Tony sighed.

“No, it isn't, and no, it's not gone, I think it's just repressed, but the amnesia doesn't seem to react at all, which is what the doc predicted earlier.. the amnesia was only temporary, so was the aphasia, but I think it's changed to permanent, but repressed.” Tony explained, making Bucky look like a large question mark. Tony chuckled. The curtains moved again, this time revealing a blonde man.

“Rogers here too? Geez, you're spoiling me aren't you?” Tony teased. Bucky's face flushed immediately, confusing Tony. Steve came over, standing close to Bucky.

“Needed to know when you were out of this place, the next mission is in a few days.” he said.

“Of course, I'll be out as soon as I can, you know how much I hate the medical.. besides, I'm really fine so I'll be ready to go in a few hours, if not less.” he grinned at them both. Steve nodded and left. Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Just made Captain, so I think he's a bit strung up.” he said. Tony nodded.

“Well, it's not the first time I've met a Captain that acts like his got has a stick up his ass.” Tony said as a matter-of-factually and Bucky doubled over, hooting with laughter. Tony's smile faded as he realized what he had said and he looked down at his hands. Bucky noticed almost right away and the laughter died, then he tilted his head slightly to the side, a concerned look on his face.

“You alright?” he asked. Tony, for once, just scowled.

“No, I'm not.. I connect my past to my present and I don't want to..” he muttered.

“Why?” Bucky asked.

“I can't ever return to that past, nor do I think it'd be wise for me to do, I want to put it behind me, move on and just forget it, but..” he fell silent. How could he tell Bucky that he felt guilty from the fight with the Chituari where he had belittled his teammate and leader? It wasn't easy dealing with the guilt either. Tony wasn't all to used to this, having these emotions that he could have easily repressed earlier in life. So why couldn't he do that now? Was it because of the war? What he'd gone through? How had he grown to have compassion for life? He had an idea it was because of Yinsen, Pepper and Rhodey, but Tony couldn't dwell on it without being reminded about the Avengers. It hurt, and it scared him too, because it reminded him of the nightmares.

“But?” Bucky asked.

“I wish I could apologize to those I hurt.. see it through that my legacy moved on.. I never got to do either.” Tony said. Bucky nodded slowly.

“So why not do it now? Why not use that to your advantage, as your strength?” he asked.

“What?” Tony gave him a confused look.

“Use your past to influence your future right? You're always talking like some wise old man, but I think we both know that you can make up for whatever you did.” Bucky said, scratching the back of his neck. Tony slowly nodded, eyeing the younger man. How was it that he was feeling so compassionate for this man? Tony didn't know how it started, but then again, one couldn't usually explain these kind of things anyway, and certainly not Tony Stark.

“Yeah, you have a point..” Tony fell silent before he looked at his hands.

“I'm not the kind of person to act on emotions only, I'm reckless, arrogant and often selfish, there really isn't much I think I can do..” Tony said. Bucky raised an eyebrow, as if ready to protest to that. Tony just sighed.

“Tony, you really don't learn.” another voice interjected and Tony looked up to see Howard standing there, pushing the curtain to the side. Tony blinked at him.

“What?” he asked.

“I've already told you haven't I? It's not who you are.. though you may be reckless and selfish, and besides, aren't we all? But you're not arrogant.” Howard said, coming over. Bucky nodded in agreement and Tony just stared at them both.

“Okay, well, fuck, I don't actually know how to answer to that..” Tony answered, grimacing. Howard grinned sheepishly while Bucky smiled. Then the Sergeant stood up, Tony's eyes following him as he did so. Bucky tilted his head to the side before he raised an eyebrow.

“Well? I'm expecting you up and running soon Tony, just don't break something getting out of bed.” Bucky teased and Tony pouted, finding his face heating up surprisingly fast.

“I'm not that fragile.” he muttered. Bucky laughed softly.

“Sure, I've got to go anyway, you know.. got a captain waiting, get better soon Tony, we need our funny, broken Sergeant with us.” Bucky stated before he left, waving over his shoulder. Tony smiled at his description before he sighed, turning back to Howard, whose arms was now crossed over his chest. Tony's eyes went from that, up to the man's face.

“Don't.. you don't need to talk about it.” Howard said, before he sat down in the chair Bucky had earlier occupied. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“I thought you'd want to know all there is.” Tony stated.

“And you said you're from the future, so then I really can't right? All that about changing history and what-not.” Howard shot in and Tony nodded, suddenly starting to grin.

“I knew I liked you for a reason.” Tony said and Howard's eyebrows rose.

“But you said.. you- your father, I mean.. me..” Howard began, but Tony shook his head.

“You are this world's Howard Stark, the parallel to my father, and trust me, I didn't like him, but you aren't him, you're different, you're kind, you care and you act in ways my father would be scowling so much at that his beard would fall off.” Tony said, actually able to imagine it happen. This caused Howard to laugh, a lot. Tony grinned. The older of the two Stark's turned and stared right ahead, eyes lost in memories before he shook his head.

“Tony, I might not have much say in your past, but I can help with your future.” Howard said.

“What?” Tony asked, staring at Howard in confusion.

“Well, I'm guessing your DNA are similar to mine right?” Howard asked, raising his hands slightly as if to make a point. Tony slowly nodded as he caught on.

“And?” Tony asked, starting to grin.

“I could always need a brother.” Howard suggested. Tony's grin reached his ears by that.

“I'd love to, but seriously, you're like.. 20-something years younger than me.” Tony said.

“21 actually, but that doesn't matter, it can always that kind of long lost brother, my father was rather old when I was born.” Howard said, eyes dark as if searching. Tony slowly nodded.

“That's a cover story, but are you sure?” Tony asked.

“Hey, us Stark's gotta stick together right?” Howard asked back, snickering. Tony laughed.

“Yes, true, okay, Howard, it's kinda weird, but I doubt this can get any more messy so why the fuck not? Write it in or something, just be careful or I'll run off with all the money.” Tony joked. Howard continued to laugh. They planned up the next for about half an hour before Tony sighed, falling silent and just staring down at his hands.

“I think.. I should move on.” he said.

“Because?” Howard asked. Tony turned to him, smirking.

“Because I have a reason to be here now, I have things to do, I have made this choice myself and I have a friend who will beat me up if I don't stop being so depressed, and taught me that I can use my past and my mistakes to right up the wrong I did, use it as my strength to help in this war.” he said and Howard laughed. It seemed he knew who Tony was talking about as well.

“Bucky is a great guy.” Howard agreed.

“That, he is.” Tony agreed. Then Howard got up, taking a breath.

“I'll get some DNA testing up just to confirm it, because my lawyers can be some bitches in heat sometimes.” Howard said and Tony grinned.

“Aren't they always?” he teased and Howard laughed.

“That they are, well, Tony, I'll fix the family problems and you finish the war okay?” Howard asked, grinning at Tony, who smirked back.

“Sure, leave it to me.”

* * *

 

“Okay, are we ready to go?” Steve asked, looking around at the men. They all nodded.

“Stark, you ready?” he asked and Tony, who had just come trotting through the dark forest, grinned, stopping up by Bucky's side.

“Yeah, ready to go Cap, all set and ready to blow.” Tony answered, holding some sort of black box in his hands. Small, but a tiny bit larger than the tracking device that Steve had when they rescued the POW's. Steve nodded and turned, then he made a signal with his hands and they split up, sneaking through the forest, neither talking nor making any sound. Tony looked at Bucky, who held his rifle ready. They reached the edge of the forest and saw the Hydra base. Tony glared up at the building and his arm started to itch. Steve made another signal and Bucky started to climb up a tree, hooking himself onto a huge branch and readied his rifle. Tony hid behind the same tree, waiting.

“Now.” he heard from Steve, barely audible above the sound of the wind. Tony grinned and pushed one of two buttons. Half the factory was blasted into the air and Hydra guards was scrambling about in confusion just a few seconds later. Tony grinned before he grabbed his rifle, turning around the tree he quickly spotted a few Hydra guards. One of them went down suddenly, courtesy of Bucky and Tony shot another one. They shot down the rest that followed shortly after.

“Stark.” Steve called and Tony hooked the rifle onto his back and grabbed his double guns. He turned around the tree and the Howling Commandos was on the move. He knew Bucky had come down from the tree and was following in the back group. Tony and Steve went through the first barricade, which was a rather sad looking group of Hydra guards that probably would have fallen over if you just blew some air at them. They ran across the open area, keeping themselves out of the way for any large blasters or guns. Steve looked at Tony and nodded, thus the Sergeant pushed the second button and another part of the factory went sky high as well. Tony grinned before he raised his hands, shooting at the Hydra guards that came to close and reached for their own weapons.

“Split up.” Steve barked and they did. Tony and Bucky, as well as Dum-Dum and Jim went one way. Gabriel, Jacques and Montgomery followed Steve. The two ran in opposite directions and Tony couldn't help a gleeful laugh as he kicked down the door and a few terrified Hydra guards turned and ran in the opposite directions.

“You're a sadist, you know that?” Jim asked. Tony laughed like a maniac.

“Oh yes.” he answered happily and they continued to chase Hydra guards about while the other group finished the last portion of bombs needed to blow this place up. Tony located another Hydra guard, hiding behind a corner and easily put a bullet in his head.

“They're really scared..” Bucky said and Dum-Dum grinned.

“And they wouldn't be?” Dum-Dum asked. Bucky chuckled.

“They should yes.” he agreed.

“Okay, let's head South, we need to relocate the others and get the hell out of here.” Tony said.

“Yep.” the rest agreed. They located an exit and easily ran out of the now half crumbling building, the fire was licking up the walls and around the open area. The vehicles was on fire too and Tony grumbled to himself about the loss of some good, heavy machinery. They reached the edge of the forest, which, sadly had caught on fire. Said fire was howling, and the smoke was making it hard to breathe, but they made it through somehow and found Steve standing there further into the forest, Gabriel and Montgomery holding Jacques so he would fall. He looked heavily injured and Tony already dreaded the wounds he'd have to stitch up, if he could. Tony had become their unofficial doctor, and while he knew nothing of medicine and such, he was just about an expert at stitching up wounds, having had to do it on himself on more than one occasion.

“How bad is it?” Tony asked, eying the wounded man.

“God knows.. we haven't had a look yet.” Steve said and Tony nodded.

“We need to get away first, seriously, it's to risky doing anything here, the fire is catching up.” Tony added. Steve nodded.

“Right, move out.”

* * *

 

“Twelve bullets? Are you kidding with me? How can someone even live after that?” Bucky asked. Tony shook his head, shaking his hands to get off the water after having washed off the blood. Bucky was sitting on a stone, holding a cup filled with bullets, staring at them in disgust before giving them back to Tony, who took it. Steve was leaning against the tree, arms crossed and a serious look on his face. Tony used one of his hands to crack his neck, pushing some knots open and groaning in relief.

“It depends on where he was shot really and he was shot pretty badly, but most of them was lodged in his arms which can give him problems with his arms in the future, and although a few was in his chest and two in the abdomen, he will survive as long as we get back to base.. the risk of infections are high, even if I boiled all the equipment, the environment is just to unclean, and that being said, we do need to move again.. they need rest, and I need to see Howard..” he said as he stood up, looking at the two soldiers.

“Well, we'll move as soon as Frenchie can walk..” Steve said, but Tony shook his head.

“Give him more time, he's barely conscious right now, or we would have to carry him, if you force him to walk he's likely to walk right into the nearest tree.” Tony stated, staring at Steve. The captain just stared back before he sighed.

“Fine, but only for a short while.” he agreed. Tony nodded.

“Good.” he was about to turn back when he noticed an odd look on Steve's face.

“You alright Captain?” Tony asked. Steve just sighed.

“Nothing..” Steve muttered. Tony snorted.

“That doesn't look like nothing to me, you can tell me Cap, I wont laugh.” Tony said.

“Peggy.” Tony fell silent. Of course, he knew that Steve loved Peggy and probably missed her even though he never said anything, being his usual stubborn self. Those two were inseparable every single time Steve got even a few minutes leave from the army. She had gone back to London, staying there with her parents and that made it easier for Steve to meet up with her. Steve stared at him, probably waiting him for laugh at him or something, but Tony just nodded before answering.

“I see..” he answered. Steve's eyebrows knitted together.

“What?” Tony asked, a bit annoyed.

“I wasn't awaiting that answer.. that's all.” the soldier said and Tony sighed.

“I have been in love once too you know, I know how it feels, trust me.” Tony said. His thoughts fell to Pepper, his cute Pepper. The CEO of his company. Pepper, with her long hair and a gentle smile. Pepper with a cup of coffee and a reminder for him to turn up at the event happening or so help him. Pepper with his old arc reactor, telling him he really did had a heart. Pepper in his tower with him, teasing him about those 12 percents. Pepper. Pepper. Pepper. Tony must have looked a bit sad because Bucky gave him a worried look.

“You were in love? What happened?” Steve asked.

“It's not that I stopped being in love, but as weird as it sounds, I'm still in love, I just..” he fell silent. He remember telling the other recruits back when he had just joined the army. It hadn't felt so weird lying back then about Pepper's death, but now his hearts lurched at the thought of pretending that she was dead. It was even worse now that his heart was turning away from Pepper and longing for Bucky instead.

“What happened then?” Bucky asked.

“She died..” Tony grits out and his hearts lurched at the mere thought of Pepper dying. That being said, Tony knew that if Iron Man hadn't existed or if he hadn't told the world he was Iron Man, she probably wouldn't have been in as much danger as she was. Bucky and Steve fell silent.

“Oh.. sorry.” Bucky said. Tony smiled and shook his head.

“It's a long time ago, I don't ever think I'll ever love anyone else, but I'm moving on, slowly..” he said. True, he would never stop loving her, but he was moving on, and Tony knew he was going to get into so much trouble. Tony sighed, he had to stop from looking for the past in the present.

“Why? Why wont you try to love again?” Steve asked. Tony suddenly smiled fondly.

“She was the only one who ever seemed to accept me for me.. brought me coffee and constantly worried, scolding me when I risked my life on some crazy shit, she would complain when I got drunk, but she would always be there when I needed her, though she never liked this.” and tapped the arc reactor. Bucky nodded.

“I can understand that, it's a bit.. confusing and off-putting.” he said and Tony grinned.

“You have no idea how much, but she never complained about it, but most of all, she knew when I needed her, and when I needed time alone, she never poked and pinched my past either.” he could remember her soft smile and red eyes when he returned from Afghanistan. Her asking him in grave concern about the bullet holes on his Mark II when he returned from his first mission. Her scream when he nearly died after his fight with Stane. Scolding him when he sold out most of his art when he was dying. Her shocked look when Tony gave her his position as CEO of SI to her. Her smile when they kissed on the rooftop. Smiling cutely when he asked her to stay over in the tower.

“You miss her.” that wasn't a question. Tony looked at Steve.

“I do, I always will, she was everything I could never be, and she was everything I needed, she was everything for me and I never really deserved her.” he said. He then felt guilt rise in his chest. And Tony Stark never felt guilty about anything, never! Okay, maybe he felt guilty when he hadn't told Pepper he was dying, or guilty when he made Pepper worry out of her mind every time he fought in a battle as Iron Man. How had she taken his 'death'? Would she move on? Would she fall in love with a man that was everything she deserved? Everything Tony could never be? He wondered if she would remember him as more than her boss, more than the spoiled Tony Stark, more as her dead boyfriend.

“I think you did deserve her if you speak like she's your world.” Rogers said and Tony stared at him with eyes and mouth wide open.

“What?” he asked in disbelief. Steve raised an eyebrow.

“You heard me.” he snapped.

“Yes, yes I did.. I just, didn't think..” he muttered the last part. Then he shook his head. He didn't deserve her, he had only made her worry about him, had he ever actually told her how much he loved her? How much he needed her? He regretted not being able to tell her everything. If only she had picked up the phone when he flew through that portal. No. Tony shook his head. It was better this way, now she wouldn't have to deal with his last words to her being how much he loved her. It would break her heart, and her soul. And it would chain her to him forever, which he couldn't honestly want on his worst enemies, okay, maybe Loki, but that was a different thing and he damn deserved it.

“Tony, I think Steve's right, I know you don't think highly of yourself, but I agree, you deserve someone who obviously cares that much.” Bucky said. Tony looked at him with the same disbelief in his eyes. He wasn't used to this, it was weird, and it was uncomfortable, but it kind of felt funny too. None the less, it felt good that someone gave him this support, something he never had before.

“I..” Tony began, but Steve raised a hand.

“No, admit it Stark, stop thinking that you aren't worth it, it makes everything you work to accomplish fall apart.” Steve said and Tony gaped. Of course, he should have known that that was true. Captain or not, he was still Steve Rogers, even if he was a parallel of the captain Tony had barely known for a few hours. Tony gave a smile.

“Okay, fine, thanks.. you fucking persistent brats.” Tony joked, smiling awkwardly and Bucky grinned while Steve raised an eyebrow, smirking like he had just tricked Hitler right in front of his nose. Tony sighed.

“You know, I'm glad I'm in he Howling Commandos, it's like a little family made up of a ragtag bunch of misfits.” Tony knew exactly why he had said it. The group reminded him of his own team. The Avengers. Howling Commandos was so similar, of course, without any female members. And yet he found he didn't care. He just smirked. Suddenly Tony frowned, feeling a lump in his throat and hand to close is eyes for a second, forcing the lump back.

“Tony?” Bucky asked, having noticed.

“Nothing..” Tony muttered before he turned to his backpack, threw the bullets on the ground and packed the cup. He couldn't risk his aphasia returning right now, he didn't want to deal with it when no one in their group understand any of the languages he spoke except for German, Steve not included, but the captain wasn't fully educated yet, so if Tony started speaking rapidly German, he wouldn't be able to understand.

“We've got to move..” Tony muttered to Steve, who nodded.

“Yeah.” Steve agreed.

* * *

 

September 1st 1943 rolled in as the Howling Commandos returned to camp. Jacques was sent to the infirmary and the rest of the Howling Commandos returned to their barracks. Tony, Bucky and Steve, with the highest ranks in the group, went to see General Phillips and Howard, who was waiting for them at the usual place. Steve entered first, followed by Tony and Bucky, who was talking about alcohol at the moment.

“Good to have you back, how is Dernier?” Phillips asked. Steve nodded.

“He is faring well thanks to Stark, but he will need rest, he was shot pretty badly.” Steve said.

“I see, well, you all need rest, but you're out again in a week.” Phillips rounded the table, eyeing Tony, who straightened up a bit.

“Good job.” he said and passed them. Tony stood there for a good minute in complete shock, eyes wide before he let out a sigh of relief and stumbled over to Howard. The genius looked at the other and Tony grinned.

“How did it go?” he asked. Howard's smirk grew ten sizes at least.

“Just like we thought, they couldn't have said anything even if they wanted to.” Howard laughed.

“What?” Bucky asked, coming over.

“Well, turns out..” Tony began, grimacing and looking at Howard, who snickered.

“I'm not the first Stark my father produced.” Howard said. Bucky and Steve gaped.

“What?” they asked in unison. Tony laughed loudly.

“It means, I'm Howard's long lost brother, or something like that..” Tony said.

“How?” Steve asked, still confused.

“My father was well over fifty when I was born, Tony is born 21 years before, it actually makes sense.” Howard explained, he and Tony exchanging amused, but slightly nervous looks. Tony had no idea if this would work, if they'd believe them, but hopefully he'd be right.

“Oh, I mean, how come you haven't figured it out before?” Bucky asked. Tony sighed.

“It's hard to explain, we never met one another before I joined the army right before the war.” Tony said, looking at Howard for him to continue. The younger man, now his brother, smiled nervously back.

“True, I thought it was weird, Stark isn't exactly a normal name so meeting another was... surprising, we just found out our DNA is a match so..” Howard stuttered out.

“Huh, well, that's a surprise, but I guess it's a good surprise, Tony could seriously use some family time.” Bucky teased. Tony's face heated up before he spluttered out some sort of protest.

“What- no! Bucky, wai- no..” Tony whined as Bucky almost skipped off, laughing.

“He got you there Stark..” Steve said, grinning.

“Stop grinning Rogers, it's not funny!” Tony whined, glaring halfheartedly at Steve.

“No way, I'll milk this for all it's worth.” Steve said, chuckling as he too walked off. Tony groaned, turning to Howard, hoping for something, but the younger man was shaking with laughter, laughter he was suppressing, but just barely.

“Aw, not you too!” Tony whined, pouting. Howard looked up at him and almost exploded in laughter, but Tony pinched his biceps and easily caught the other Stark off guard, surprising him.

“Wah- Tony.” Howard yelped.

“You are annoying when you laugh, funny, but annoying.” Tony muttered.

“Well, we're related aren't we?” Howard just asked and Tony crunched up his nose, creating more wrinkles on his face than he usually had.

“Stop laughed and start working mister.” Tony fake-ordered Howard, who chuckled.

“Fine, fine, let's do some work.” he agreed, still trembling a bit with amusement.

“So, how's the new weapons coming along?” Tony asked as they turned toward the newest and greatest. They fell into a deep conversation about weapons and what-not. The rest of the people in the room tuned out the two genius' and their chattering. It was always like this when Tony returned. He and Howard would hang out, talking about inventions and talk about science and math above the level of university professor. And then they might even make things, sometimes just out of scrap metal and things they had within an arms reach. Nothing seemed to change despite the fact that they were family was now official. Bucky smiled and Steve sighed.

“And to think the one who has to suffer through all those things is the person who can smile so easily, Tony is really lucky.” Bucky said.

“Is he?” Steve asked and Bucky looked at him.

“What do you mean?” he asked. Steve shook his head.

“He is hiding something.” Steve muttered.

“Aren't we all?” Bucky asked.

“Yes, we are, but Stark is.. hiding something dark, something we'll never know if Stark get's his way.” Steve said, keeping an eye on the two Stark's as their fingers dug deep into the weapons. Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“Are you going to force it out of him? Is that even wise? You know how Tony get's when he is forced, he clamp up, he might even get another relapse.” Bucky said, all to serious now. Steve shook his head.

“I'm not raising my hand against him if that's what you're suggesting Bucky, I fucking know what he suffers from and he's one of my men, I wont let him get hurt.” Steve said. Bucky seemed to think through something before he smiled and nodded.

“Yes, I know that, but prying wont help, Tony's just like that, I know.. he can talk about certain things, like his family, and his friends, but anything other than that, and he clamp up.” Bucky said.

“So I've noticed.” Steve said and Tony turned and made a come-hither wave. They walked over to them again as Tony pointed at the map.

“We only have two left, I'm guess that Johann Schmidt isn't all to pleased.” Ton explained and despite it, he was grinning from ear to ear like a pleased cat. Steve nodded, staring down at the map while Bucky smiled at Tony, getting one back.

“So, then we can focus on those two before we go back to kicking Hitler's ass.” Steve said.

“Well, we are kind of kicking him already, seeing that Hydra is the science division in the Nazi reign, there's no way of knowing how he takes it, but my best guess is that if Hitler throws a tantrum every time, he must be pissed off all day long now.” Tony said, smirking. Steve smirked as well and Bucky laughed.

“Let's certainly hope so, people makes mistakes when they're angry.” Steve said and Tony's smile fell. Bucky was the first to see it.

“Tony? You okay?” Steve and Howard turned to look at the genius, who nodded, faking a smile.

“Yeah, peachy, now let's kick some Hydra people to hell and get them to stay there.” Tony said.

“Okay, if you say so..” Bucky said, but they all knew Tony was lying, knew he wasn't alright. Tony eyed them, knowing they knew, but pretended he didn't. The mistakes he had done when he was angry, when he was depressed or when he was dying, the mistakes he couldn't take back. Tony mentally punched himself for thinking about it. He felt the lump in his throat again and had to take a breath. Tony didn't know wherever they rest knew, but he had realized how the aphasia worked on him. Whatever Erskine had given him, hadn't taken away the aphasia completely, not even successfully repressed it, but Tony managed to keep it at bay most of the time.

“Well, which are we going to hit next?” Tony asked, looking at General Phillips, who was in charge of it all. The general came over, pointing at the one closest to Steve, on the border of Germany and Denmark.

“It's the closets.. our Intel says there's a plane there that has weapons ready to bomb America, and we can't let that happen, however, there are still a week until that happens.” Tony and Bucky exchanged glances while Steve nodded.

“So that' why we're leaving in a week.” the general nodded.

“You need to stop that plane from taking off.” he said. Tony looked at the map, his mind going through what he knew and what he didn't know. Of course, September 8th 1943, the day Captain America steered the plane into the ice, sending him into a sleep that lasted nearly a century.

“Are we all going?” Bucky asked.

“No, this will be a small group, to many will cause more harm than help and that's you Rogers and Stark.. we'll have some backup helping, but the rest are needed in that other hideout.” Bucky looked shocked and sad at the same time. Tony nodded.

“So, we're going to sit back while Tony and Steve risk their lives, I don't think the rest of the group will like that.” Bucky said.

“You're not going to sit back, you're going to the other base, we need that one taken right now as well.” Phillips said. Tony gave a grimace to Bucky, who scowled.

“Bucky, it'll be fine, I'll make sure Rogers survive this one.” he said.

“I don't doubt that, you two are insanely good at what you do.” Bucky agreed.

“But? I hear a but in there.” Tony said. Steve turned, looking at Bucky.

“Well, you'll be all alone.” Bucky said. Tony smiled.

“We have each other, and besides, we aren't going to back down, nor are we going to die, and Phillips said we had backup, we'll kick ass and come back before dinner, okay mom?” he asked, making Bucky gape and flush while the rest laughed. Tony wondered if he spoke to soon, but he knew he wasn't going to even think about 70 years in the ice. It was impossible for this world's Steve to survive the ice, because he wasn't a super soldier, however, he didn't know about himself, considering he had two hearts now, and seemed to emit a weak heat from the arc reactor, which was powering his body and stopping some of his aging. Tony didn't thin he'd survive the ice as well as the captain did in his world, nor was he counting on it. Tony hoped they'd manage this.

“Stark is helping Rogers into the base, then you will need to split up, one taking out the plane and the other take out Schmidt, either put a bullet in his brain before he does something stupid or capture him alive.” Phillips said and Tony turned back, scowling.

“Splitting up will make it more dangerous, which of us takes who?” he asked.

“You have the skills to make that plane into a heap of scrap metal Stark, take care of the plane and Rogers goes for Schmidt.” Phillips said. Tony nodded slowly. He wondered if Schmidt would come onto the plane this time. From what he had heard, Schmidt had been on the plane and hadn't been found when the captain was found in the ice. According to the soldier's statement, Schmidt had disappeared when he had touched the cube, apparently disintegrating and dying. Tony then blinked.

“Tessarect?” he thought. Of course, the source to Schmidt's weapons, the Tessarect that had caused it all. What if Schmidt had it in this world too? Was there more than one? No, Thor had inclined that there was only one, so had Asgard lost it's cube again? Was there a possibility that he could return after all? He shook his head.

“Stark, stop thinking about that, it' the past.” he thought and turned back to the rest.

“Well, I just need to ready something and then I'll be ready to go.” he said. Howard and Bucky looked at him, both having their arms crossed and a deep scowl on their faces. Tony was tempted to tease them, but instead he just smiled.

“It'll be fine, we'll just walk in, deal with it, shoot Schmidt in the ass or whatever and walk out again.” he wondered how long the Howling Commandos would keep fighting. He had heard from his father once that all of the Howling Commandos eventually passed away, except for the good captain of course, which no doubt had read their files later. He wondered how it would be for himself. He had noticed and knew others had too. Tony hadn't aged a day since he had come to Earth. Of course his hair was a little longer and he kept his goatee trimmed perfectly when he could. He also had more muscle now. And there was no fat whatsoever on his body. It was a surprise, but it was also a cause of worry.

“Relax both of you, as you know, Rogers can deal with Schmidt however he wants, I couldn't care less what happens to the guy, he creeps me out, and yes, the plane will be less that scrap when I'm finished with it, trust me.” he grinned.

“If you say so..” Howard said, however, he didn't seem to believe him. Bucky didn't answer at all, just stared at him, blue eyes searching for something, some reason to keep in him in camp maybe, Tony didn't know, but he was delightfully happy that they cared. He hadn't had this many people caring about him before. There had only been Pepper, Rhodey and Happy that seemed to care. Now he was wanted here, needed even and Tony wasn't about to risk this.

* * *

 

Tony eyed the large plane from the shadows. He hooked the a parachute onto his shoulders, grabbing a parachute. Of course, they were highly necessary, at least if this went the way he thought it would. The man slid out of the shadows, sneaking across and entered the plane with silent steps, easily sneaking into the shadows, sneaking around Hydra guards. Tony slowly, but surely made his way towards the front, eyeing the bombs that he passed. He could see the names on the bombs. US state names. Tony felt anger well up in him. Suddenly he heard the engines power up and his eyes went wide as he hid further into the shadows. Tony cursed silently before he dropped both backpacks and started his work. Tony worked himself around the bombs, easily turned them from threatening bomb planes to useless bombs that if dropped, would drop straight down instead of actually flying. Tony watched as Steve suddenly came into sight and he groaned out loud. Steve stopped, staring straight at him. So Tony pushed a finger against his own mouth before he pointed at the bombs.

“They wont fly, don't jump onto them, okay?” he hissed and hoped to God that Steve got what he said. The soldier nodded and ran past him as Tony slid into the shadows again, hiding behind a large machine and hooking the parachute onto his back again. Hydra men appeared out of the hallway and each went to their own bombs. Tony smirked to himself as they dropped before Tony leaped from his hiding place, running over and grabbing the Hydra guard making sure everything went smooth. Tony grabbed him by his head and snapped his head to the side, hearing his neck snap. Tony let go of him and turned, seeing the men in the bombs staring at him in disbelief. Tony just grinned before he ran out of the room, heading for the bridge. He heard Steve yelling and someone else laughing, a voice he recognized. He entered the room to see Johann Schmidt holding a blue cube in some sort of metal and Tony groaned. Johann and Steve turned to him.

“Ah, Anthony Stark.” Johann said. Tony just sneered at him.

“You really shouldn't play with that, it'll kill you.” he said and Johann raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, are you so sure?” Tony just sighed.

“I know what that cube is, you can't control it's power, it'll kill you without as much of a seconds thought.” he said. Steve stared at him.

“How do you know that?” Steve asked, but Johann butted in.

“You seem to know a lot about this, how do you know what the Cosmic Cube is?” he asked.

“It's not 'cosmic cube' you daft oaf, it's a Tessarect, it's a cube made of pure energy and was made by the God's and trust me, you should return it to where you found it and maybe a God or two wont drop down onto your sorry ass.” he said, glaring at the man, who shook his head.

“Why would I do that?” he asked. There was a rumble, the sky darkened and Tony gulped as lightning nearly hit the plane.

“Don't tell me your afraid of some lightning.” Johann sneered. Tony shook his head.

“I'm not.. it's just.. I quote Loki, I'm not overly fond of what follows..” he said before something went through the roof of the plane so hard that Steve and Tony was thrown away, over some machines and hidden out of sight. The parachute fell of Tony because he hadn't had time to fasten it properly. Tony groaned, feeling some of the machine falling on top of him, trapping him. Tony watched in a daze as a red cape fluttered, a hammer, heavy and large being held in one hand. Blonde, long hair fluttering. Lightning was still dancing across the hammer. Tony raised a hand, teeth clenched. He opened his mouth to shout and felt a hand land on his. He looked up to see Steve, keeping him from talking. Tony's eyes widened and Steve shook his head at him, then the two watched as the blonde man stepped closer.

“Return the cube mortal.” the man said. Tony struggled against the hold, struggling against the machine, but Steve held him tight, forcing him to hold still.

“Oh, and why should I do that?” Johann sneered and Tony rolled his eyes.

“Do not anger me mortal, I am still mourning the loss of my friend and do not care much about your antics, I just want the Tessarect back where it belongs.” the man growled. Tony's eyes widened and he started struggling anew. Steve placed his second hand on Tony, keeping him down, keeping them from being seen.

“I doubt it'll make any difference to you if I keep this then, doubt that friend of yours care.” and the blonde grabbed the man by his throat, lifting him up till his feet left the floor.

“DO NOT SPEAK ILL OF THE MAN OF IRON YOU LITTLE PEASANT, HE SACRIFICED HIS LIFE FOR EARTH, YOU WILL DO WELL IN SHOWING RESPECT!” the man shouted, then he let go of Johann, who staggered backwards, still holding the Tessarect tightly.

“Who are you to speak of me like that? I can get you killed within seconds.” the man said.

“I am not of this world mortal.” the blonde snapped.

“So your clothes say, but I don't care, should take much to-” he was cut off when the blonde throw the hammer at him, and he dodged, just in time. The hammer went through the wall, and returned easily to the man's hand.

“I am Thor, God of Asgard and oldest son of all-seeing Odin and heir to the throne, and you mortal, will do wise in keeping your mouth shut.” Thor snapped. Tony struggled more, starting to tremble as he realized he wouldn't make it, wouldn't be able to return if Steve wouldn't move away, and he wasn't budging. Tony was shaking now, eyes wide, desperate.

“Oh, Norse God then? I see, it makes some sense, but no, leave and I might spare your life.” Johann said and amusement suddenly swept across Thor's face.

“You think you can hurt me little man? You cannot.” then he threw the hammer at Johann again, this time grazing him and making him stumble, and he lost the Tessarect while at it. Thor grabbed the metal holding the Tessarect and Tony whimpered, trying his hardest to get out of Steve's hold, but couldn't. Thor stared at the man.

“The Tessarect can easily kill you and I chose to intervene before it killed thousands, you should be wise and stop fighting with your fellow mortals.” Thor warned, then he raised his hammer before he was gone, disappearing in a ray of light and Tony screamed.

“NO!” he scrambled away from Steve, who gaped as Tony pushed and pushed at the machine, trying to get up, so Steve pushed the machine off and Tony scrambled to his feet.

“NO! Wait! Thor!” he yelled and ran out onto the middle of the bridge. Then he stopped, staring at the floor before he turned slowly towards Steve, surprising the captain with a look so angry and hateful the soldier took a step back.

“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!” he screamed. Steve frowned.

“What?” he asked.

“THAT WAS MY TICKET HOME! I could have returned, I could have seen.. them.. and you.. you stopped me! I could have been with Pepper, been in New York.. I could have returned to being Iron Man..” he fell to his knees, oblivious of Johann, who stared at both before leaping forward.

“Tony!” Steve yelled and Tony turned in time to see Johann reach out for him, grabbing him.

“So you work with that.. Thor then?” the German asked. Tony spluttered something, but Johann had wrapped an arm around his neck, squeezing hard. Tony fought for breath, his sight blackening out once or twice, but kept on trying to keep himself awake.

“I'm not..” he managed.

“So, what are you? A part of Norse mythology?” the man wheezed and Tony gurgled.

“Let go of him!” Steve suddenly snapped. Tony looked at him before closing his eyes.

“I'm.. no God..” Tony wheezed out, slowly opening his eyes.

“Then what?” Johann hissed and Tony closed his mouth, fighting to avoid Steve's blue eyes.

“TELL ME!” Johann screeched in his ear and Tony flinched.

“No..” he whimpered. Johann's arm tightened around his neck and Tony flailed.

“Tell. Me.” he snapped at each word.

“No.” Tony answered. Suddenly Tony screamed, feeling a blade of some sort going through his left heart, blood pouring. He knew Steve could see the tip of the blade coming out of his chest. He wheezed, coughing blood. Tony's mind easily went through the damage. Heart pierced, lung collapsed, blood loss and high chance of infections.

“TELL. ME!” Johann snapped.

“Superhero.” Tony spluttered and the hold in him slackened a tiny bit as he let out a tiny sob. The pain in his chest was unfathomable. He could feel his right heart beating frantically to compensate for the loss of his left one. It was like it was trying to break out of his chest. Steve was oddly silent, watching, Tony still avoiding his eyes.

“A superhero? There's no such thing as a superhero.” Johann hissed.

“I.. am.. Iron Man.. superhero.. genius.. playboy, billionaire and.. philanthropist.” Tony whined.

“Heroes don't exist!” Johann snapped.

“They do..” Tony wheezed.

“In my world..” he whimpered when the blade was pushed further into his body. It was weird it wasn't cutting a rib in half. Steve's arms had fallen to his side and Tony looked down. Then he let out a sob.

“L-let me go..” Tony managed. Steve's face suddenly went serious.

“Let him go!” he snapped. Johann ignored him.

“You do well in telling my why that man was here!” he snapped.

“I- you had the Tessarect.. that's.. why..” Tony managed.

“Why do you know what a Tessarect is?” the man demanded.

“Because.. I've seen it before.. I know what it can do..” he gurgled, blood dripping from his lips. Suddenly he was let go and the blade was pulled out. Tony let out a tiny gasp before he just stood there on his knees, swaying. Steve lurched forward as he fell, catching him.

“Hey, Stark, stay with me, don't you dare faint.. and you, damn you!” he cursed, glaring at Johann, who eyed the hole in the roof before he walked over to he control panels.

“Drop the bombs.” he said and Steve cursed.

“Wont.. do.. a thing..” Tony wheezed and Steve looked down, then he smirked. Suddenly he arched, feeling his chest grow tight and warm. He looked down, grasping his shirt right where his left heart was and was shocked to feel steady, but fast thumps against his fist.

“Wow..” he muttered before he slowly, with the help of Steve, got up. Johann turned as he saw Tony get up, coughing blood and ignoring his lung.

“Get the parachutes, we're getting out as soon as we deal with this bastard.” Tony told Steve, then he turned to Johann.

“I had a bit of fun with those bombs of yours, neither of them will fly so I'd say they are becoming one with the ice under us about now.” he said and Johann scowled. Tony grinned in triumph.

“I'd say it's-” he was cut off when the plane suddenly started tipping forward. He gulped.

“Oh, of course, the Tessarect powered the plane, well, fuck, get the parachutes!” he snapped at Steve, who stared in shock, but nodded and went behind the machine, finding the two parachutes easily. Steve came back quickly, throwing one of them to Tony, who caught it. Tony put it on with some difficulty, he coughed and spat blood.

“Well, one collapsed lung wont stop me, Schmidt, you are as screwed as Hitler is, you should just go and dig your grave.” Tony said. Johann raised an eyebrow.

“We'll find you Stark, you will be valuable to our research.” Johann hissed and Tony scowled.

“No, I don't think so, and you wont get me, not over my dead body either.” he snapped, clicking the last straps into place. He turned to see Steve having just finished his. Tony nodded at him and Steve grabbed the gun he had strapped to his side, raising it, pointing it at Johann.

“If you're dead, then there shouldn't be any research.” Steve muttered.

“No, that's impossible, there is always someone else ready to take his place, but if you kill him, at least then there will be one less maniac to walk the Earth.” Tony said. Steve nodded.

“I can go with that.” he muttered and fired the gun. The bullet hit Johann right in the chest and he fell over, spitting blood as he went. Tony felt a gleeful relief wash over him as Steve walked over, serving one last bullet. Then the man turned towards him and Tony froze.

“You have a lot of things to explain later Stark.” Tony nodded.

“Fine, so can we go now? The plane's about to crash into the ice and I don't think you want to become a capsicle.” Steve stared at him from the nickname before he smirked and Tony grinned back.

“Funny nickname right there, should keep that one.” Steve said, walking over.

“Okay, let's get the hell out of here.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not over the 999 hits.. *screaming and running around in my room*
> 
> Yeah, and Thor, cuddly, blonde prince of Asgard, I cannot believe I did that to Tony, or.. well, yeah, I can..


	11. Thor, 1943

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wants some explanation, maybe he get's one, Tony isn't sure yet.
> 
> And so, Hydra finally move, going for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leaving this here and running to my doc :D
> 
> I'm quite in bit of a hurry, so this'll go fast, boring long chapter from talking too much..

“So, you saw Thor, and didn't do anything?”

“Fuck you Fury! I was being held down by Rogers! There was nothing I could do, and don't for a second think I didn't struggle!” Tony snapped, dragging a hand through his hair, feeling the slicked hair move to his touch, used to this feeling. He never thought he'd say it, but he was old-fashioned, much like that good captain. No one knew he was here, just Thor and Steve, none of the other of the team, not even Pepper or Rhodey. No one but Fury and a few selected agents outside knew either.

“Then what happened afterward?” Fury eyed him with his single eye and Tony was tempted putting a patch on that one too.

“Stop glaring, I have barely reached 1943 and you're already glaring, can't wait till you hear about the end of the war, or Vietnam, or Stark Industries, oh, you'll love Obie, the bastard doesn't change at all, and oh, Anthony, of course.” Tony's eyes went distant after that. A good five minutes after, Fury had had enough.

“Who?” he all but snapped.

“Anthony? Well, he is that worlds me, but we called him Anthony because they couldn't tell us apart, but that story doesn't start until 1970, that's still 27 years until.” Tony said, grinning.

“Then continue.” Fury grumbled.

“Just.. realize that things are about to change at this point, more people get to know my secret, or rather, one more person and.. Hydra.. they didn't have just Schmidt as the leader.. there was one more and then there's the events been between me and Bucky, we have done things that should be off the record.” Tony didn't grin, didn't even smile now. Fury nodded.

“Fine, continue.”

“Well, the plane crashed after we jumped off..”

* * *

 

There is nothing around. Just ice, ice and more ice. Tony sighed and coughed, watching as the remains of the plane disappear through the ice about a kilometer away from them. He awkwardly shrugged off the parachute and turned to look at Steve, who is holding the black box that would call their ride back him.

“Well, perfect place to land right?” Tony asked, watching as Steve put away the tracking device and turned towards him, nodding.

“Yes, good place for a good talk.” Steve said and Tony tensed. The warm blood on his chest really wasn't helping him either. Suddenly Tony swayed, black dots dancing across his vision. He shook his head, trying to clear it, though hard, he managed somewhat. Steve stepped closer, but came running when Tony doubled over, coughing blood and holding his chest tightly. Tony felt the blonde's arms keeping him straight.

“You okay?” he asked.

“No..” Tony groaned.

“That knife? Did it penetrate your lung?” he asked. Tony nodded.

“Yes, my lung has collapsed..” he wheezed out and coughed more blood. He slid down to the ground, Steve going with him.

“Well fuck.. about now I could really do with some scotch.” he muttered.

“Really? You're bleeding to death and you want scotch?” he asked.

“Yes, really, it's not the first time I've been dying and yes, yes, I definitely need some scotch.”

“Nope, sorry, besides, we're both getting out of here, so tell me what that all was? Why did you say 'in your world' and why did you say Thor was your ticket home?” he asked. Tony groaned.

“I can't.. sorry, can't tell.. now..” he managed. Steve frowned.

“Does anyone else know? Is there.. anyone..” Tony groaned, cutting him off.

“Howard.. God, it fucking hurts.. it's been.. ages.. since I've had.. a collapsed lung..” he said.

“You like getting deadly hurt or something?” Steve joked. Tony managed a smile.

“Nope, but I always get hurt anyway.” Tony spat some blood.

“They'll be here soon, so hold on.” Steve said.

“Easier.. said than done..” and darkness consumed him.

* * *

 

Slowly the real world returned, making Tony groan and he turned in on himself, nausea and dizziness was taking up a major place in his body, that, and confusion.

“Hey, look whose finally waking up.” Tony slowly opened his eyes by the voice and squinted.

“Uh.. Bucky?” he muttered. The room slowly came into focus as he realized he was at a hospital.

“Where am I?” Tony asked.

“A hospital in Aldeburgh, we returned to England three days ago.” Bucky said.

“Great, I fucking hate hospitals.” he groaned. Bucky, sitting by his right side, grinned.

“At least you're still you, so, how are you feeling?” Bucky asked. Tony frowned, then he looked down at himself.

“Perfect in fact, I know I was stabbed by Schmidt, and we jumped from the plane and I think I passed out on the ice.” Tony said, grinning at Bucky, who smiled back.

“That's just about right, Steve didn't say much, but you survived pretty well-” he stopped when the door opened and Howard came in, shortly followed by Steve, both looking rather grim. Tony slowly inched back against the bed, giving a nervous smile that probably came out more as a grimace really.

“You're awake, good.” Howard said and the two sat down on either side of the bed. Bucky eyed the both before he sighed.

“Fine, you're going to talk serious talk, geez, I get it, well, see you around Tony, get better okay?” he said before he left, closing the door after himself.

“Tony, did you really tell him?” Howard asked and Steve glared his way. Tony coughed.

“Actually.. I didn't, Schmidt kind of forced it out of me.. it's kind of hard not to when you have a knife stuck through your chest and an arm squeezing your throat..” Tony answered, pouting. Howard nodded, sighing.

“Well, there's no avoiding it.” Howard muttered and Tony scowled.

“You told Howard, I mean, I hope you didn't yell at him while you were in public or something, because I'd rather keep my secret with me.” Tony said, eyeing Steve in his chair. The blonde stared right back and Tony let out a sigh.

“Fine, seeing as Howard knows, I'm fine with it, but seriously, I don't want anyone else to know this at all.” he said and Steve nodded.

“So, how did it all go? Rogers didn't elaborate much.” Howard said.

“Well, for starters, I could have gone home.. if Rogers hadn't stopped me.” Tony said, now glaring at Steve with renewed anger. He had been so close. If Thor was still mourning his 'death', then maybe there was a chance that the rest was as well, and then, how much time had passed? It seemed weird for them to mourn his 'death' for, what? 6 years? Yeah, that's a bit overkill. Or was it? What if time ran differently and it had only been a few days? Or maybe just a week? Oh how pleasant that would have been, but no. Tony shook his head at his own thoughts. There was no use debating that, what's done is done and now he really was stuck. If only Thor had looked over the place and seen him.

“What?” Howard asked. Tony sighed.

“Thor appeared..” he said.

“Thor? The Norse thunder God?” Howard asked and Tony nodded.

“Yes, he's my frie- teammate.” Tony corrected himself. They weren't friends, never had been, their first encounter was a rather childish battle over Thor's adopted maniac brother. And of course, ending with their 'leader' stepping in to end it before they got each other killed, or at least Thor killing him. And then he realized what Thor had said. He had said friend, and he wasn't their friend back then and yet he had reacted so harshly. Did they really consider him a friend? A part of the team? Ugh, Tony felt like crying and that would have been really, really weird.

“Then, you are.. a Go-” Steve began.

“No, he isn't.” Howard cut Steve off. Tony raised an eyebrow, grinning.

“I'm not a God Rogers.. I'm as far from a God as you are, I'm just.. different, that's all.” he said.

“Different in how?” Steve asked. Howard sighed.

“He's my son.” Howard said and Steve looked like Hitler had suddenly dropped his pants in front of him. It was kind of hilarious, if the subject at hand wasn't so serious.

“What?” Steve asked. Tony groaned.

“You heard the truth there Rogers, and yes, it's true, I'm Howard's son.” he said.

“But you're like.. old! And didn't you and Howard just state you were brothers?” Steve asked and Tony might have slapped him across the head, he wasn't sure, but he damned as hell hoped he was.

“I'm not that old!” Tony complained and pouts. Howard chuckles in amusement.

“Well, it's a lie, only made possible because he's well, he isn't really my son, he's the parallel world's me's son.” he said and Steve looked even more confused. Tony was tempted to say something snarky, but refrained as this probably was one of the worst times, and he had been learning that for years.

“I'm from a parallel world Rogers, I was born in the 70's and my father is Howard Stark and my mother is Maria Stark, both deceased and I was the CEO of Stark Industries.” Tony said. Steve's face was so funny Tony wondered if it would stay like that permanent if he continued to make it.

“So, you're from the future..” he said and Tony chuckled.

“Yes sweetcheeks, but I'm from another world's future, in my world I never get to meet Bucky, much less any of you when you're this young, I'm already 47 and Howard's just.. what? 26?” Tony asked, grinning at Howard, who nodded.

“Yes, recently turned 26.” he said.

“Oh, okay, born in.. 1917 right? That makes you a year older than Rogers.” he said.

“Really?” Howard asked.

“He's born in 19-”

“Stop changing subject!” Steve snapped. Tony turned towards him and glared.

“Well, considering you're the one who screwed up, you don't have much say in this.” he muttered, glaring at the blonde. Steve just glared back.

“I do, you a fucking member of the Howling Commandos, how can I trust you?” Steve growled and Tony's facial expression changed to a sad, almost hurt one. Howard sighed.

“He told you right?” he asked, looking at Tony.

“That's some of the thing.. the Rogers you know.. told you?” he asked.

“Well, yes, indirectly..” Tony condensed.

“I thought you said you never met the 'me' in this time?” Steve asked.

“Yes, because it's true, we never met in 'this' time, but we met later.. the you I met has been sleeping in the ice for nearly 70 years before being found by the US army and reawakened from suspended animation.” Tony said. Steve just frowned.

“What he's trying to say is-” Howard begun, but Tony cut him off.

“He was a hero, the Steve Rogers I met was Captain America, born fragile and scrawny, took a bottle of super soldier serum and became the perfect soldier, a man of legend.. pretty much made out of freedom, strength, muscles and puppies, he was also a man out of time and..” Tony said, smirking a bit.

“I grew up admiring him as well and hating him actually..” he said. Howard frowned.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because, of all the things my dad put so much time into, it was trying to find dear ol' cap, instead for finding time to go to a shrink and get some help stopping his drinking and put at least one hour each day for me, which he never did anyway..” Tony shrugged. Steve looked at Howard, who raised both hands in defense.

“I would never do that.” he said, almost fearfully so. Tony chuckled.

“That's because you're not him.. look, Rogers, that's why I said parallel, just because the Howard in my world was a jerk, doesn't make the Howard here one, they are two complete opposites, just like a few others I know..” he said, grinning. Steve raised an eyebrow.

“Me?” he asked. Tony nodded.

“Yeah, you for example..” he nodded.

“How? How's the me in your world?” Steve asked. Tony seemed to think through the answer.

“Are you sure you want to know? I mean, I don't mind telling since it's not part of the future.. which I forgot to say, everything about the future is hush-hush.” Tony said, watching as Steve nodded, looking just as serious as before. There was barely even a twitch and Tony was pleased that the soldier wasn't cutting him off or going into complete shock because of this.

“Well, the you I knew for a couple of hours max, was calm, always watching and calculating and a gentleman to the core.. oh and did I mention he's a virgin? Dad told me that a few years into his storytelling..” Tony said gleefully and Steve cracked up. Tony grinned at Steve as the captain laughed long and hard.

“A virgin? Really?” he asked. Tony nodded.

“He wasn't always like you are, or in my own version of description, he wasn't always the incarnation of a Greek God, he was just Steve Rogers, the scrawny, asthmatic kid every guy bullied, he hates bullies by the way and will step in if he sees injustice.. apparently he had his first kiss in 1942 and he is probably the most decent guy that will ever walk the Earth, he will court and propose and wait until after marriage for sex, he's pure from his power to his heart, it's almost sick how sweet he is.” Tony said, chuckling.

“Poor guy, he is missing out on a lot.” Steve said.

“Oh, you have no idea.. he doesn't even curse.” Tony stated and Steve gave him a perplexed look before he gaped.

“You're kidding right? How can a guy NOT curse?” he asked.

“You tell me.” Tony answered with a smirk on his face. Howard sighed.

“Only you two have made it your goal of life to curse until even the whitest sheet is black.” Howard said and the two men laughed, until even Howard smiled a bit. Tony sighed and leaned back against the bed. Even if he didn't like it here, he felt more at peace and even more safe, which was the complete opposite to how it was back in his own world.

“So, is there.. things that goes opposite too?” Steve asked and Tony's smile faded, then he nodded, slowly and sadly. He kept avoiding Steve's eyes as he bit his bottom lip, not sure if he should tell. It was the past after all, it had already passed so there was no need to worry, but still.

“Stark?” Steve asked.

“It's just.. I keep wondering if telling you at all will affect us in any way.. I keep thinking about people who dies, who could have died and so on..” Tony muttered. The other two stared at him before they slowly nodded.

“But if it's already happened?” Howard suggested.

“Already how?” Tony asked.

“People who.. could have died, but survived?” Howard asked, and Tony nodded.

“I know, there is that.. but..” he looked at Steve and the look in his eyes set his thoughts.

“Okay, it's Bucky.” Tony admitted and Steve's face turned into a scowl.

“When?” he asked.

“That mission with the train.” Steve nodded.

“Yes, I just barely managed to pull him back into the train.” Steve said.

“Yes, well, in my world, he fell..” Tony said. Steve gave him a look of complete horror.

“How did.. that world's me.. take it?” he asked. Tony gave a sigh.

“Not good according to what I heard, I mean, he tried to get drunk, and he could drink a distillery and wouldn't even get tipsy.” Tony supplied and the other two whistled. Tony looked over to his left, out of the dirty windows. The clouds was hanging low, threatening to wash down enough rain to bury a lot more than a few tears of war and droplets of sweat. Tony couldn't find it in himself to search for his past now. So many years had passed, and he was okay with that, he could brave decades for a single purpose, but he knew that once Thor had been here, the likeliness of him returning was slim to none. It had sparked hope in him and he had forgotten what his duty was for that moment, forgotten that Tony Stark was no longer a hero, but a soldier belonging to the US army. He couldn't take any chances while dwelling in his past. It was his weakness and yet his strength, but all the more it hurt when he knew he had been so close.

“I wonder how long it's been..” he mumbled.

“How long what?” Howard asked.

“Time... Thor seemed to still mourn my 'death' and while they don't seem to know I'm still alive, it seems time is moving differently.. wouldn't it be weird to mourn your friend slash teammate for 6 years?” Tony asked. Steve and Howard exchanged looks.

“It probably depends on how long you knew each other.” Howard said. Tony just laughed.

“Not long, we knew each other less than 24 hours at least..” he said.

“What? And he reacted that badly for that short time, geez, I wouldn't want to be the one who kills his lifelong childhood friend.” Steve stated, looking caught between horror and complete boredom, with a tad of amusement too. Tony grinned.

“Trust me, I wouldn't either.. but.. I think I can understand, if I'm here, there might be a chance that I screwed up the time lines like I screw up a lot of other things in my life, if for example, one year here is one week or month there, it might just have been a tiny bit of time having passed.” Tony explained. Howard and Steve exchanged glances before they both shook their heads, confusing Tony.

“What?” he asked.

“You don't seem like a screw up to me.” Steve said.

“You don't know what I've been doing the last 40 years before I came here.” Tony corrected.

“So, what have you been doing?” Steve fired back and Tony's mouth shut so hard they probably heard his teeth click.

“Is it that bad?” Howard asked. Tony gave a dry, bitter laugh at that before he sighed.

“I wasn't called the Merchant of Death for nothing..” Tony said, staring down at his hands.

“Merchant of Death? How can you be called that? Mass slaughter?” Steve asked.

“Well, I guess you could say that.. I created weapons of mass-destruction, weapons for war and it took far to many lives.” Tony answered, flexing his fingers and watching the tiny nicks and scars his hands had gathered over the years of his genius' inventing.

“Then my closest friend turned out to be my worst enemy and possible biggest asshole ever having walked the Earth.” Tony said, looking at the other two and finding some surprise and some pity. And no, Tony Stark doesn't take pity. He snorted.

“Okay, so he did try to assassinate me a couple of times, God knows how many, but since I'm just that good he never got me.. except for that one time..” he said, raising his hand to idly tap the lid of the arc reactor with a few fingers. Howard nodded slowly.

“The time you got that?” he asked. Tony nodded, shaking away his headache and his forcing his brain from realizing that talking about all this brought a lot of pent up emotions and memories he didn't want to think about. And it wasn't even like him to blabber like this and Tony thought it was a bit ironic how he had to go through a war, go through worlds and time to change.

“In Afghanistan, I got too close to a bomb and well, yeah, the rest is history.. I came home, he tried to kill me again and I bounced back, he tried once more and I killed him.” he said, shrugging.

“You killed him first after that?” Steve asked, almost like Tony had been stupid for even waiting.

“Well, I wasn't aware that he was the one who payed for my assassination in Afghanistan, but the other two are close by hours.. and I wasn't even the one who actually killed him..” he said.

“Who did?” Steve asked.

“My PA.. I had to get her to overload the machine underneath us, which could have killed me but it didn't, I risked it though.” Tony explained, smiling fondly, keeping his voice low. Talking about Pepper made his hearts ache. He loved her and still did, but he couldn't reach her and he knew that every time he tried and failed, his heart broke a little more. He shook his head.

“PA?” Steve asked, confused.

“Personal Assistant.” Howard explained.

“Wow..” Steve murmured. Tony tried to grin, but he couldn't.

“Best in the world, she pretty much kept me alive at certain points..” he looked out of the window again, absentmindedly playing with the sheets.

“She?” Howard asked. Tony nodded.

“Yes, amazing, brilliant, beautiful Pepper.” he answered before he realized he had.

“You mean, the woman you told me and Bucky about before the Hydra base mission?” Steve asked. Tony turned back, his eyes probably betraying his mask.

“Yes, that one..” he answered briskly.

“Did she.. die.. during.. the assassination?” Howard asked, obviously cautious.

“No, she.. is still alive.” Tony said, sighing.

“But you just said-” Steve began.

“I know what I said!” Tony snapped, ignoring how his wound protested.

“To me she is dead because I'm here, and she's there, I can't reach her, I can't go back, I can't see her again..” Tony said, shaking his head and ribbing his fingers together, flexing before he tied his hands together by his fingers. Howard and Steve watched him, but Tony just smiled sadly.

“They think I'm dead, not knowing I'm here, very much alive and fighting Nazi's.” he said.

“Yeah, that's true, that.. uh, Thor said.. he was mourning..” Steve said.

“Yes, most likely me, sadly I wish they weren't, if they are and it's letting their team falter I will break apart time and space and rip a rift in the universe to get back and kick their asses for all I'm worth.” and Tony stopped to take a breath after his little rant. He looked at both of them before he gave a grimace.

“I haven't talked this much about my life.. ever..” he said.

“Would never have guessed..” Steve said and Tony faked offense.

“No tones like that, please, I've heard it before, and trust me, I usually just clamp up.. not even Pepper knew what happened in Afghanistan, what happened to me.. the torture.. I don't even think that the few people that I fought with on the team knew..” Tony said. Steve's face faltered.

“Torture?” he asked.

“Yeah, didn't Bucky tell you? I thought he did..” Tony fell silent when Steve nodded.

“Yes, from that time when you were nearly killed.” he said.

“Indeed, you saved me and stayed at the hospital with me despite me being a dick.” Tony said and Steve laughed.

“We are both a bit of dicks.” he said.

“That we are.” Tony agreed, laughing for once. The door opened and Bucky entered, thus stopping their talk. Tony smirked at Bucky, who came over, smiling at all of them.

“Back already?” Tony teased. Bucky flushed slightly before he smiled. Tony's chest constricted and he frowned. This wasn't what he had thought would happen. He felt happy around them, these three weird humans that was so similar and yet so different from him He who had two alien hearts beating in his chest and a piece of futuristic metal in his chest, working his age slower than a normal human being. Then there was Bucky. Tony swallowed. Bucky had been the first he had openly opened up to and he knew he treasured the brunette far more than he should. His hearts fluttered suddenly when Bucky came over, placing a hand on his shoulder, patting and grinning.

“General Phillips says there's gonna be a huge party at camp for this mission, you better be healthy when the party starts.” he said and Tony snorted.

“I'm always up for a party, half into coma or not.” he said, grinning, ignoring the tightness in his hearts. He couldn't risk getting to close to them, and yet, he had. It was his mistake and it would be the end of him, but the likeliness of him going before them, was getting slimmer and slimmer by the years. Tony didn't look forward to the years when he'd watch everyone die around him. When they'd age and turn gray and wise, when they'd have grandchildren running about, their own children looking older than their teammate from the war.

“Good, because I'm making sure you'll be there.” Bucky stated and Steve chuckled.

“We are making sure of it, there's no I in this Bucky, I thought Stark had taught you that long ago.” Steve said and Bucky's cheeks darkened.

“Um.. yeah..” he mumbled. Tony's belly flipped and danced as he watched the blue eyes fall to where his hand was on Tony's shoulder before he pulled away, slowly, awkwardly and Tony knew it. Tony could see it in his movements. In his eyes. Something was wrong. Tony frowned. He didn't like what his head was doing to him. It was giving him hope. The genius knew he shouldn't be feeling like this, knew it was wrong, knew it wasn't something he could ever deserve. Attraction. He had felt it before. Rarely, but still there. It had been there when he met Pepper, but he saw her as his PA and nothing more until the entire Iron Man deal and they became a couple. He couldn't let himself feel like this when he still had her, or, had. To her, he was dead, to him she was an unreachable love.

“Tony? Are you okay?” Tony looked up, finding all three staring at him, concern evident in their eyes. Tony managed a grin.

“Yeah, just thinking on something..” he was speaking the truth, he just wasn't about to explain what it was about. How could he tell them, tell Bucky that he was developing an attraction to him. It was the 40's. That wasn't a gay-friendly time. There was those who braved it, hiding it and still finding some happiness, but he was in the army. They were non-tolerable about gay men. His head throbbed and he leaned back against the pillows, his eyelids heavy. They looked at him before Howard stood up, startling Tony.

“Sleep Tony, you need the rest.” he said, smiling unusually softly, but then again, this worlds Howard was much kinder than the Howard Tony had known as he own father. Bucky and Steve nodded, the latter also getting up. Tony slowly nodded and heard himself mumbling something, but he wasn't quite sure what it was, only that Howard and Steve regarded him with pitiful eyes and Bucky looked a bit more confused, but let it go. Tony closed his eyes, the light disappearing and he drifted off, numb, detached and dreamless.

* * *

 

Of course. He should have seen it. Predicted it even. It was so obvious, even an idiot could see what would happen next. Tony, of all people should have seen it long before it happened, considering he was a genius and everything, but apparently being in the army and being at war for a certain amount of time with more than yearly visits to he hospital had killed off most of his braincells. And Tony should have guessed they'd act this fast. That Hydra would finally realize that killing everyone around him wasn't going to be enough, that threatening wasn't enough. Instead, they went right and took him. Tony hadn't been aware at first, just half awake and out of something similar to coma. He had heard footsteps out of the ordinary, looked up to see three men, unknown and shaded in black. Of course he realized who he was dealing with, it just took ten minutes of struggling and an amount of beating for him to do so. Tony knew that the damage done would likely bring back either his amnesia, or give him something else, if he was lucky, his aphasia would return, because then the Nazi's wouldn't able to figure out what he was talking about. Instead, they kicked him and broke both his arms. No one would know. The hospital was silent at night, just a nurse passing every half hour. If his friends was here, he wouldn't be lying on the floor coughing blood and spitting curses, barely able to hold his eyes open.

“Well, fuck.” he thought before the butt of a gun connected to his skull and everything went black.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, poor Tony alright, just you guys wait till the next chapter, I thought I was gonna hang myself because of it..


	12. Captivity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony finds himself held captive by Hydra and later ends up in a concentration camp, but maybe being held by Hydra wasn't such a bad idea? Seeing how he fared in the concentration camp?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aahaha.. trying to pull out the fic while writing the next chapter (which isn't halfway yet)  
> I hate and love this chapter so much, there's Tony suffering terribly and there's so much.. boring telling :(  
> And protective-Bucky, sweet!
> 
> EDIT: I've changed the confusing parts.. as much as I managed before dropping onto the bed.. again, sorry for the confusion, I hadn't thought it through and forgot to add the tiny winy detail.. well, Tony and his mouth..  
> Also put up extra tags, don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.
> 
> Warning: Mentioning of rape and light torture)

Tony awoke with a startle to one of his heaviest headaches in years. It felt like a hangover, just, with being in a lower part of hell than when he'd taken out a liqueur store. He let out a small groan and upon moving found he was tied down. Tony collected his thoughts, going through what he was just about to realize without even opening his eyes. Wrists tied, ankles tied and, oh, yes, neck. He gave a snort and a grimace before slowly opening his eyes and looked down to see his chest fully exposed.

“Oh, oh no, this is not- definitely not happening!” he thought and Tony knew panicking wasn't going to help, but when you're a man broken from three months with torture, open surgery and beatings, then packing PTSD before being slung into a different world, given Aphasia and Amnesia into his backpack, then his mind wasn't going to be able to do much at all except that.

“Ah, Mr. Stark.” Tony stiffened at the sneer of his name. He slowly turned his head, focusing at the source of the voice. There was a man, standing by a large desk and some counters, all covered in all sorts of equipment. Tony stared at the man. Short, gray hair and dull brown eyes. Gray bear covering a few wrinkles. He seemed to be shorter than Tony in height too, dressed on dark brown and gray clothes.

“Who're you? Where the fuck am I?” Tony snapped. The story of Bucky's captivity ran through his mind. He knew the man had been held like this, done who knows what with, nor did he talk about it. Tony never asked either, didn't want to dig into the wounds he so clearly saw the few times Bucky let it show. There was no way of knowing how he would react to it.

“Who I am shouldn't be much of a matter, and you are at the Police Transitcamp Amersfoort, in Netherlands.” the man said with a off-cord German accent. Tony frowned, going through his mind to figure out where he actually is, then the name clicks in place.

“So I'm at a concentration camp huh..” Tony muttered. The man nodded.

“Just prison really, until we know what to do with you.”

“More like, what to do with my body after you've killed and dissected me.” Tony corrected with a snort, trying to look down at the leather bonds holding his arms down, but the leather over his throat made it hard, too hard and he wheezed before he sighed and thumped his head against the cool metal under his head.

“We are more interested in you alive rather than dead.” Tony snorted again.

“Feelings not returned.” Tony muttered. The man picked up a syringe, taking a few steps closer and Tony tensed, cold dread rolling down his spine. He eyed the syringe, the long, cold steel needle and looked back at the man, clenching his fists. He stepped even closer and Tony felt his toes curl. The genius' body moved on it's own, trying to wrench away from the man, from the table and all this, but he couldn't. He wasn't strong enough after all. Tony closed his eyes tightly, his mind supplying himself with images of Bucky strapped to a table, hurt like he was about to be, almost gone insane. He grit his teeth.

“N-no.” he struggled, making it impossible for the man in the coat to set the syringe.

“You don't have a choice, not that it would matter much if you had.” the man said.

“I don't care!” Tony fought the bindings as the man stepped close, instead of a syringe, something long, sharp and wide suddenly went through the lower part of his arm, going right through. Tony froze as a scream tore from his throat. The genius caught the sight of a knife going right through his arm. Then there was the syringe. Tony yelled when the syringe went right for his right arm. The needle entered his arm and he grit his teeth, cursing in all the languages he knew. Then his mind stared going blurry, alongside his vision and his other senses. Tony fought the darkness creeping up on him, but the more he tried, the harder he failed. Together with this, and the four months of hell ahead, Tony knew he'd never be the same.

* * *

 

Nothing was like the pain of having your insides prodded, Tony knew that, but he was awake, subdued, but awake. They didn't prod his hearts as much as he thought they would. They tried to wrench the arc reactor out of him three times, but stopped when they realized Tony might just die if they did, thus loosing their subject. His arm was stitched up and it was also tattooed with the typical registration code German's had on their prisoners. It became VERY uncomfortable when Tony realized he'd talked gibberish while drugged. Or, not really gibberish, but about Bucky, about how much he loved the guy. He knew the Nazi's didn't treat gay's well. Actually, they treated them as if they were something nasty that came out of the lower levels of hell. And because of that, he wasn't treated fairly, well, he wasn't in the beginning anyway, but the beatings he got wasn't exactly a fancy thing. And the days went like that, spent on a cold steel table, waiting for the next needle and the next doctor. Slow torture. Tony was in daze most of it anyway.

* * *

 

Days blurred into weeks, and weeks into months since he had arrived at Fort de Romainville. At first it hadn't been so bad. He's been sharing barracks with other prisoners, Jews and other people the Nazi's deemed unfit to live or some shit like that. Then he had bitten one of the Nazi guards when a couple of Jews made their escape, making sure they weren't caught. However, all the anger, the pain and the plain agony of the situation he was in caused him to hang on to the guard. Tony nearly bit off a chunk of flesh and meat and that gave him a broken nose and a sprained wrist, which the doctor set after the whole thing had calmed down. After that, Tony went nearly crazy every time a Nazi guard came even a step to close to him. The experiments had stopped a month into his stay at the concentration camp. After that, he attack a guard on open ground, tearing one arm off before breaking his neck. Tony was sent into full isolation. He would still attack any and all who entered the room, anyone who even dared utter German or wear Nazi clothes. After that, Nazi's began beating him up daily instead of once every three days or so, spit in his food or throwing it on the floor, laughing at Tony, who stared vainly at the food, because he never sank as low as to eat of the floor, but would always silently stare in sadness as his food was wrecked and wasted in front of him. Then one night, one guard came and despite Tony's now lack of muscle and fat, snapped the guards neck like a twig when he tried to rape him. He went a week on only water after that, no one listening to him shouting that he had nearly been raped, not that they would listen. Tony knew that the people from Hydra had told them about his accidental talk about Bucky. Then it actually happened, this time it was two, then next time three because two wasn't nearly enough to hold him down. After the fifth time, he stopped fighting. What use did his body have when he couldn't fight back? He let them do what they seemed to want even if they'd spit on him, beat him and raped him, calling him things and watching as Tony silently cried into the floor, or the bed, or the pillow, or the wall. Four months passed in the same manner. Ever since the isolation started, he'd rather be back in Amersfoort with the needles and the scalpels, but Tony never found the energy to fight anything, much less eat more than once daily. He lost weight the moment he entered the camp, but now it fell off like snow on a slippery roof. Most of the days, he spent naked, just waiting for the guards to finish and leave him. The summer was blaring hot and he often burned himself on the scorched wall were the sun had burned all day. The winter was really cold, suffering and long. Then, as the eleventh month passed, Tony's insanity came to a grinding halt in it's lowest pit. The Aphasia had taken it's hold on Tony before he even came to the French camp, but nevertheless, he still mentally fought it, often speaking Spanish, Italian, Dari or Japanese to get some of it off his chest. He never spoke German, because then the guards could understand him. So, fifteen months into his captivity, he finally spoke a name he hadn't spoken in seven months.

“Bucky..” Tony whispered, looking at the concrete wall in front of him. It was just like the other three walls. Cold, dull concrete walls to keep him in and keep them safe, but Nazi's was surprisingly careful when it came to him. It wasn't quite like how English airmen was treated in other camps. There wasn't much life in the building. The room empty save from his bed and himself, who was laying on top of the bed, naked and scarred, nothing he could use to kill himself or others. He didn't know the date either, just that it was 1945 and it was somewhere in March so the temperature outside was slowly rising. There was a soft sound from far away, then followed a by a new one and another, and another. Soft footsteps wasn't something usually heard in these halls as German boots was the typical issue and they clicked on the floor, but Tony didn't care. He stared dully at the wall in front of him. His half long and cracked fingernails scraping against the concrete in the same way he had been doing ever since he came here, as if half trying to escape and halfway giving up digging his way out in one way or another. The door to his cell creaked open, but he didn't flinch, not even a twitch.

“Tony?” barely above a whisper, but he didn't move to meet the owner. He continued to stare right ahead. It wasn't until a hand gently touched his shoulder that he flinched.

“Tony? Tony! It's me, Bucky..” Tony didn't move to meet him, instead he just curled in on himself. Hands firmly grabbing his shoulder and turning him around. Tony stared up at wide, serious blue eyes. Those were the eyes he had sorely missed, but couldn't quite explain why or even voice it.

“B-” his voice cracked, his mind supplied him with the memories of the brunette, of the times shared with the others in camp, but other than that, he couldn't say, the Aphasia's hold was to tight. Bucky smiled and nodded.

“Hey pal, come on, let's get you out of here..” the brunette whispered. Tony just stared at him as he let Bucky drag him out of his bed, only for his legs to buckle underneath him from not having been used for a long time. Luckily Bucky caught him before he fell over.

“Steve..” Bucky hissed to the left as strong arms wrapped a soft, dark blanket around Tony before he was lifted up. Any other day fifteen months ago and he would have thrown a tantrum at being lifted up and carried around like that. But that was, well, over a year ago, and Tony wasn't quite sure his body could take just walking out of the room, much less an escape. Most of the escape was a blur to him. Tony's eyes were constantly falling as he just let them take him away, as sappy as that even sounded. When he came to for the fourth time, he was laying on some sort of cot, still in the blanket from earlier. Bucky was crouching by his side, so was the others. Others being the Howling Commandos, including their leader. Tony gave a light whimper before he coughed harshly. The air was raw and cold down his throat, causing more than an uncomfortable amount of coughing fits.

“God, look at you..” Bucky seemed speechless.

“We need to get him back to camp.” Dum-Dum said, watching something far off from where he stood by the trees. Tony turned to look at Steve, his own eyes no doubt the deep brown, dull and empty he knew he'd seen in the Jews he so often saved when he was undercover in Germany, or during the first months in captivity.

“Tony?” Bucky asked and Tony slowly turned his face, staring intently.

“We're getting you home okay? You can go home..” Bucky said. Tony frowned, then he slowly nodded. Steve grabbed something close to them while Bucky was suddenly lifting his head and Tony found something brought around his neck. Something thin and made of metal. Something familiar. Tony looked down with barely open eyes to see a pair of dog tags. His dog tags. Tony let out a strangled laugh before he thumped his head against the cot, choking on what they all knew was a sob. Something lifted inside Tony and his throat didn't feel so dry and thick anymore. Almost like his Aphasia giving in.

“You came..” he whispered.

“Of course we came Tony.” Bucky affirmed.

“Thought Stark was going to have a heart attack or kill someone if he wouldn't be able to figure out where the fuck you were being held.” Steve stated. Tony just gave strangled sobs. They all looked older that he remembered them. Tony hadn't seen any of them for well over a year and he could see that the war had taken it's toll and given strength to the members of the Howling Commandos. All except him, who had been robbed of his privacy, his freedom, his body and his life. He didn't look his part of the infamous team that went about stopping all of Hydra's advances and making Hitlers hair gray agonizingly fast. Bucky was taller, Dum-Dum's hair was grayer, Jim looked more wiry, Montgomery had a thin line of worry and death across his face and his hair was grayer, Gabriel looked like he had developed a ton of muscles while Tony was away, and Frenchie had a long scar alongside his cheek. Steve was still all muscles and perfection, but there was just the faintest hint of worry wrinkles across his forehead and between his eyebrows.

“I'm-” Tony's voice cracked again, this time on a sob.

“You're safe Tony, you're safe now..” Bucky murmured, patting Tony's shoulder.

“Let's get you out of here.” Jim said from his place by the nearest tree.

“Yeah.” Steve agreed, standing up, staring down at Tony.

“How much do you think you can manage?” he asked. Tony frowned.

“Tony can't walk that distance, much less a few feet Steve, anyone would know that! You saw him! We all did! He's just skin and bones, with no clothes, nothing at all!” Bucky said, staring at the blonde, who nodded.

“I saw it, and I want to fucking forget it, but if anyone has excess energy it's Stark.” he snapped. Bucky didn't have an argument for that. Tony struggled in the blanket.

“'Can walk.. 'm not weak..” he managed. Bucky and Steve looked at each other before they looked at him. Tony ignored both. He knew what they were thinking, knew that they thought his Aphasia was in effect, but he wouldn't let it get the better of him. His body however, wouldn't corporate with him at all. Tony groaned, barely able to lift his hands at all.

“That settles it then.” Steve said, one eyebrow raised. Tony just glared at him.

“Verpiss dich Rogers!” he spat. Steve didn't seem faced by this at all.

“You still haven't finished teaching me German, so until then, I'm going to ignore that.” Steve said, grinning. Bucky just sighed and Tony turned to him. Worry was deep in Bucky's features and while he seemed to have the determination and the will of a soldier, he had something else, something that worried Tony, and yet made him happy at the same time.

“It's good to have you back Tony..” Bucky murmured and for the first time in fifteen months, Tony smiled and cried at the same time.

* * *

 

“Tony!” Tony wasn't quite prepared for the the man suddenly appeared and lunged at him, squeezing the life out of him. Bucky and Steve stood close by, watching, and yet, prepared to step in if things went too far.

“Relax Stark, you're gonna strangle him..” Steve said and Howard eased his hold on Tony to look at him. Tony was dressed in some oversized pants that was obviously meant for Steve, but the others didn't have anything extra so he had to use the blondes. Then he got some shoes, and a shirt before he was stuffed into a jacket that would keep him warm. He looked like some tramp, he knew it, but he wasn't quite expecting the sad, horrified look on Howard's face.

“God, look at you..” he said, hands running up and down Tony's biceps, or what remaining of them anyway, underneath all those clothes.

“You haven't seen him without clothes.” Steve muttered. Howard shot a glance at him while Tony just stood there, not saying anything. Howard frowned, looking back at Tony, then at the two men again.

“You found him naked?” he asked. Steve nodded.

“Damn bastards didn't even give him underwear.” the soldier muttered.

“That's.. insane and plain stupid.” Howard's face however, seemed to betray him. It seemed he'd rather hunt down each and every Nazi that was somehow responsible for what happened to Tony and skin them alive, cut them into tiny pieces, before burning them alive, but not enough to kill them, then watch them slowly die in agony. Tony looked around. They were in a large camp, but there was no one Tony recognized so they were either dead or had been shipped off to other camps.

“Phillips?” he asked.

“Comes in in two days, said he'd want to be there when we brought you back, we just came home earlier than expected.” Bucky explained.

“How?” Tony asked.

“How what?” Howard asked.

“The rescue?” Steve asked then and Tony nodded.

“Well, it's a long story, you are going to rest before we tell you that one.” Steve said, smiling. Tony looked about again, then he frowned, pursing his thin lips. If anything, he looked more wiry and deadly now than ever.

“What.. date.. is it?” he managed to ask.

“2nd March 1945.” Howard said. Tony suddenly let out a strangle laugh.

“What is it?” Bucky asked, alarmed.

“Tomorrow..” Tony began. The rest nodded.

“It's my birthday..” he said sadly and they all stared, wide eyed at him.

“What? Really?” Bucky asked, seemingly amazed.

“Y-yeah..” Tony managed, the Aphasia gave in long enough for him to talk further.

“I'm turning.. 49 tomorrow.” Tony said, giving a short snort. Howard chuckled.

“Old aren't you?” he said.

“Watch it lil'bro.” Tony faked warning, grinning and the others got this funny look on their faces before they both grinned. Tony knew they did this to get him on better thoughts, so he just let them.

“And old? Pft, I knew a guy who was over 90 and still fighting like a 30 year old, I'm a kid compared to him.” Tony muttered.

“Oh? Then what are we?” Bucky asked.

“Infants, obviously.” Tony said, matter-of-factually.

“Yeah right.” Steve said, an eyebrow cocked, suddenly Bucky's stomach growled and he flushed.

“Sorry, haven't eaten today.” he murmured as the others grinned, Tony included, although slightly oddly so. It was hard, smiling wasn't a ting he had done for a long time, he thought he'd forgotten how to at one point. Howard looked at Tony.

“Bucky doesn't need that extra meal anyway, but you, on the other hand, need one, or ten, but by the looks of it, a shower and some fresh clothes will go a long way, and..” he fell into a silence that had Tony hoping for some sort of cure of some sort.

“Coffee.” Howard breathed out and Tony's entire body stiffened in a thrill of joy.

“Give meeeeeeeeee..” he whined, latching onto Howard by his arm. The others laughed and Tony forced another smile, keeping it slightly nervous, almost shy.

“I'll get some..” Steve said.

“Get an entire bucket, once Tony get's his hands on coffee he wont be able to stop.” Howard teased and Tony pouted. Bucky grinned and Howard smiled his way.

“I'll get him some clothes, we're close in size and height so there shouldn't be any problem for him to use mine until we get him a new uniform.” he said and turned to leave. Bucky blinked at Howard's back before he sighed.

“Not size..” he said and Howard looked over his shoulder.

“I know... it's just, he has something to grow in right?” he suggested before he walked off, leaving the two brunette's to themselves. Tony looked at Bucky, who stared back and then they both coughed awkwardly. Then Bucky scratched the back of his neck, looking about, before he bit his bottom lip. Tony looked down, but only for a while before Bucky began to talk.

“I'm.. glad you're back, really, I was.. uh, worried..” he muttered. Tony looked at him and their eyes met, blue and brown staring at each other. Then Tony nodded, bringing out one of his sincere, happy smiles.

“I am too Bucky, thank you.. for coming..” he said. Bucky smiled happily back.

“Uh, I guess, shower right?” he asked and Tony nodded.

“God, yes, haven't had one since Amersfoort.” Tony surprised himself by saying a whole sentence without the aphasia being a bitch.

“Yes, I can smell that..” Bucky answered.

“Ah, shut it.” Tony whined, but they were smiling, although Tony was still having a hard time truly smiling.

* * *

 

“Holy crap, you really do look like skin and bones, Rogers and the rest weren't lying there..” Howard said, unfazed by the fact that Tony was stark naked and sitting on the bench, drying his hair. Bucky sat on a stool a few feet away. Howard held out clothes to Tony, who slowly took them. Howard sat down on a bench close by as Tony pulled the clothes on.

“They don't fit..” Tony said truthfully. Howard nodded.

“That's not a surprise, but I'm the closest to real size you can get, but give or take a few months of rest and more than enough meals and some training and you'll be fitting those clothes alright.” he said. Tony flashed pearly white teeth and one steel tooth from that one time he was punched so hard he lost one. The time when Steve saved him.

“Maybe a bit more Howard..” Tony then said as he pulled on the shirt, but didn't do up the tie yet. He fumbled with the buttons on the shirt and to the other two's amusement, struggled for a while. Howard laughed, then stood up.

“Gosh, you're like a kid, here.” he walked over and helped Tony, who gave Howard a dirty look, probably looking like a kid who had just been teased for walking without pants or something.

“Not a kid.” he muttered. The Aphasia had now nearly gone away. It appeared that thinking happy thoughts made it easier to get out of the dance of evil called Aphasia.

“No, but you sometimes act like one, when you're drunk per example.” Howard stated.

“Oh, speaking of which! Can I get scotch? I would jump off a mountain for some good scotch right now.” he said. Howard and Bucky both choked on a groan.

“You're not doing or getting either Tony, I don't think you're body could quite take the alcohol, or the rush of the jump, coffee is more than enough for now.” Howard said and Tony pouted.

“Buuuut..” he fell silent when Bucky shook his head, though still smiling a bit.

“Tony, it's not good, maybe we'll get you something if you can stay on course, gain weight and get back up on your feet.”

“Isn't he already on his feet?” asked Steve, entering the room, holding a few cups and a jug of coffee. Tony gave the jug one look before he threw himself at the man, wrestling the jug out of the blonde's hand with surprising strength and agility. Then he grabbed an cup from the still shocked Steve, poured himself some of the black army issue slug and downed it in one go, hot or not. The other two just gaped, watching as Tony poured himself a second, a third and fourth and figured they had to stop him when he got to the sixth cup.

“Okay, okay, slow down, you wont sleep for another month if you keep that up.” Bucky said.

“Not gonna stop me.” Tony managed while wrestling with Steve. who had grabbed the jug. Howard had taken the cup from him during the confusion and the wrestling.

“Yeah, you think?” Steve asked, keeping his hand raised high above Tony's head, thus stopping him from reaching the jug.

“Killjoy.” Tony muttered at them all.

“Just concerned, come on, let's get you something to eat.” Howard said.

“I'm fine with coffee thank you very much.” Tony said.

“No, we're dropping you off at the infirmary afterward so we can't have you high on just coffee.” Steve said and Tony audible groaned, giving the blonde a desperate look.

“Of all the places-” that sentence continued on into Spanish, then Japanese before ending with a German curse.

“Tony, the only reason you're not already there is because Stark sweet talked the nurses into letting you go for the time being.” Steve snapped and Tony flinched, but gathered himself up in the next second. Steve's eyes widened before he sighed.

“Sorry..” he muttered.

“It's fine, making me into a glass doll wont make things better either.” Tony said, shrugging.

“Tony.” Bucky said.

“Hm?” Tony hummed, taking the jacket Howard handed him.

“Are you sure you want to continue being in the army?” Bucky asked. Tony slowly turned, looking directly at him.

“Why wouldn't I? It's my life.” he said. Bucky frowned.

“You're not the same anymore, we all know Tony.. what happened to you broke you, it's so obvious it's not even gonna take a Nazi two seconds to figure it out and they're pretty dumb to start with.” Bucky said and Tony, for once looked down.

“That doesn't mean I can quit, I've been broken before, I can mend easily.” he said.

“Maybe so, but the scars are there, they always will be..” Bucky said. Tony looked at him and then he looked away, his feelings betraying him and showing so easily in his eyes.

“I- we care too much about you to loose you, but how do we know that you'll still be safe after this? It's war, we know there's going to be losses, but you of all people have the chance to retire..” Bucky said. Tony laid a hand on his shoulder, stopping the brunette's rant.

“Bucky, it's my choice, a choice I took a long time ago, I wont ever stop, so please..” Tony said.

“Fine..” Bucky breathed out instantly, making Tony smirk sincerely for once.

“Thank you.”

“Good, finished talking? Meal? Infirmary? There's lots still left.” Steve said before he and Howard moved towards the door. Tony took to moving his feet, but stopped as Bucky passed. Tony stared at the brunette's back, trying to figure out these feelings. This attraction to the man who easily showed his concern and care for others. Then Tony realized how far this had gotten. He'd fallen in love with Bucky and that was the first mistake.

* * *

 

Tony sighed, moving slowly across the floor, looking at camp through the windows. It had been three hours since they had come back to camp. Tony had gotten a good shower and some fresh clothes. Meal however, had been tricky, because of the lack of food for the last year and the lack of any fat in the few meals he got, Tony couldn't hold a full meal down and threw up most of it. He did however, manage to keep some fruits down, but nothing more. After that they went for the infirmary, getting a check up, including a photo being taken so that in case they ever could prosecute the bastards, they had evidence, not that that would happen during these days anyway, not while there was a war going on.

“Captain, Sergeant Barnes, Stark.” the doctor greeted as he came in, folder in hand and easily startling them all. He straightened a tad enough, like Steve and just like Bucky, while Howard just relaxed. Tony went over, sitting down, face blank.

“So, how bad is it?” Howard asked, looking at Tony, who looked back at him.

“He's lost more than a safe amount of weight for a man his age, his current weight is 167,5 lbs, but his physical appearance doesn't seem to have suffered more than starvation and beatings that lasts a lifetime or more, there's a numerous fractures that has healed, including his nose, which seems to have been broken a few times, but set back by someone who knew how to do it.. there's the tattooed numbers of German registration code on his arm and the reason he can't keep his food down is because he just haven't had a good, timely meal for a long time, so he will have to go on a diet so that his body can get used to several meals each day.” the doctor said.

“Anything else?” Howard asked.

“There was.. a complication..” the doctor answered slowly. Bucky and Howard both sat up straight in their chairs. Tony made a slight grimace.

“What?” Howard asked. The doctor nodded at them.

“It's.. a cause of concern, the guards at Romainville seemed to have been told by the Hydra that.. Sergeant Stark likes.. men..” the doctor said, disgust clear on his face. Horror dawned on their faces before they looked at Tony, who tilted his head to the side a little, then shook his head.

“I'm not gay.. I told them.. they just.. misunderstood.” he muttered, which of course, was a tiny bit of a lie, but truth as well. It was true, he wasn't gay, but he wasn't straight either, seeing he had fallen for Bucky.

“That's already been confirmed Sergeant.. however..” the doctor turned back to Howard, Bucky and Steve.

“They didn't care about asking if it was the truth or not, and seems to have treated him as such.” Bucky looked at Tony, as did Howard, but the genius just looked down, away.

“Tony.. did they..” Bucky's face turned into something resembling disgust as he stopped himself from finishing that sentence. The others had the same look on their faces. Those expressions just got worse when Tony nodded, looking at the door to their right. Steve was making this obscenely angry noise while Howard was breaking the pen he had somehow gotten his hands on while waiting for Tony to come out. Bucky looked like he wanted to do nothing but find those men, torture them slowly and painfully kill them.

“I'm going to kill them..” Bucky stated.

“No, you're not.” Tony said and Bucky stared back, mouth wide before he stood up, looking just as angry as the other two. Tony couldn't remember ever having seen Bucky this angry, didn't know that he had a temper, or that he could get angry at all.

“Why not?! You were RAPED Tony! That's not something to just idly forget, those bastards treated you like you were a lowlife, like an animal that they could use, and you don't want them dead?!” he shouted. Tony stood up too.

“I want them skinned and ripped limp from limp before gouging their eyes and heart out with a rusty spoon, but that wont happen, you know that! I wont find them unless I go back, and I'm not going back there!” Tony shouted back at Bucky's face. Bucky's face went soft, guilt and sympathy clear. Which was more sympathy than Tony could handle at the moment. Tony shook his head.

“Look, just.. give me time, give yourself some freaking time, I'm not going to commit suicide for this, nor am I going to act like a fucking idiot and go kamikaze on them, but I wont forget, that's the one thing I'll never be able to do.” he said. Bucky stared blankly at him while Steve and Howard looked at each other before the latter placed a hand on Bucky shoulder.

“Give him the time he needs Barnes, he deserves it.” he said. Bucky slowly nodded.

“Just, Tony, tell us.. when..” Tony nodded before he even finished.

“I trust you Bucky, you know that, I'm just not ready to think about it..” Tony explained.

“Okay, good, let's just.. sleep, or something..” Bucky said, giving Tony a slow smile.

“Yes, let's.” Tony agreed, trying to reassure them with a smirk of his own. Too bad he knew that they knew and always would know that this was a hard pressed subject, one he'd only take if he had a knife to his throat or worse. Tony looked down.

“Thanks Bucky.. really..” but how could he look him fully in the eye when the one person who was the most angriest about his careless attitude to his months in prison was Bucky, the one he loved the most?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, well, there... *runs away*
> 
> Translations:  
> Verpiss dich - Piss off!


	13. A Home?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony learns, in short version, how the Howling Commando's rescued him.  
> It's 3rd March, time to celebrate his birthday?
> 
> Going home, or at least, what's supposed to be his home, Howard tells him something that will change everything, that will change everything between Tony and Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahaha.. yeah, a bit late, I was having a bit trouble writing this chapter :\
> 
> And now it's finally getting somewhere :D

March 3rd 1945 wasn't really all that important to Tony. True, it was his birthday and all that and he did turn 49 after all, one more year and he was halfway to a hundred. There wasn't a real party, like the ones he used to hold in Malibu back before he turned 40, but then again, this was war times, such trivial things as birthday's wasn't important. Tony spent most of the day in bed or sitting on a bench, watching soldiers walk around, doing what they're told to do, or just relax. He looked at his wrists, or whatever remained of them anyway. Just thin bones with skin and arteries. Tony had looked himself in the mirror a couple of times and was disgusted every time. The others had been right, he really was just skin and bones, his stomach slightly bulging in the typical hint of starvation and no muscles. Then he go back to bed, muttering on German and Italian all day. Because that's what you do when you nearly go insane. Tony scratched the burn-scars on his right arm before he looked up to see Bucky standing there, smiling softly. Tony gulped.

“Hey Buck..” he murmured.

“Getting some fresh air?” Bucky asked, sitting down beside Tony.

“Fresh? It's boot camp..” Tony muttered.

“Yeah, true.” Bucky smiled, awkwardly so and Tony had to mask a frown.

“So... how are you feeling?” he then asked, watching Tony.

“Old.” Tony muttered and Bucky laughed.

“Not that old, you're just forty nine..” Bucky said. Tony sighed.

“I feel old.. and empty..” Tony said and Bucky's smile disappeared.

“Yeah..” then Bucky fell silent and the two sat there, the silence dragging on as a couple of soldiers walked by, steady and strong. Tony sighed before he pulled out his best I'm-fine-grin. He didn't want Bucky to get down, it'd make his suffer too. It was one of the few things that hadn't changed since before the concentration camp. He loved Bucky and probably always would. Tony hadn't fallen in love often, thought it was useless since most of those he slept with/dated only wanted him for his money. Pepper was different. She gave pretty close to no fuck about his money or looks. Tony wondered how it would be, with someone else, with Bucky. No, he couldn't, it'd just raise his hope. A hope he couldn't afford himself anymore.

“Well, I'll survive..” he said.

“No doubt.. you always bounce back, even when you stepped on that landmine once.” Bucky mused.

“Oh yeah, that time, ahahaha..” Tony chuckled nervously. It wasn't something he was overly proud of. It wasn't that he was ashamed, he just become more conscious of his scars. Not something you can be in the army really. They drill that out of you by the first week.

“So, how did you find me? And get into Romainville? That's not an easy break in, or break out, trust me, I've tried.” Tony said. Bucky tapped his chin, a proud smirk on his face. It made Tony feel good to see that kind of expression on Bucky.

“It's really thanks to Howard, and Steve being one hell of a tactician really, I can see why the Colonel wanted him as the team leader, Howard used three months to search for those Nazi's that got you, then traced their from Britain to Netherlands, which stayed there four month, then they moved out to Romainville, I'd love to say that that was the hardest part, but Howard was pretty sure that getting in was dangerous, and close to impossible to get out again.. Steve however, the damn tactician he is, created a plan, not all to ingenious, but simple and just completely awesome.” Bucky explained, dragging his thumb over his cheek. Tony watched the finger move, almost dazedly so, before he caught himself and tried to make it look like he hadn't just stared at Bucky's thumb like it was the sole reason for his existence.

“When we finally arrived in Netherlands, at the concentration camp, the first thing we found, were your dog tags and the clothes you had been wearing when you were taken.. we quickly found a doctor, they're the easiest to get talking and the ones who have a least chance of actually being armed.. he squealed your position within ten seconds when Steve pressed him up against the wall, using his tall built to intimidate him, and fuck.. even I was scared..” Bucky confessed. Tony tiled his head slightly, smirking.

“Roger's have always been annoyingly intimidating, part of his charm is my guess.” Tony said, aware that Bucky was looking at him in a strange way. Almost like he was.. jealous? No, that couldn't be. Tony mentally hit himself for even thinking that.

“Anyway, we also learned you were in isolation, which meant less people who would catch us, but the security was also tighter, and of course, Steve comes to the rescue with another brilliant idea.. and that his dad isn't proud of him, I will never fathom.. so, uh, we got in through a hole we clipped on the spot. The easiest part was actually getting into the camp, but getting into the isolated building where you were being held was a bit more tricky.” Bucky sighed, shaking his head at something.

“We actually scaled the damn wall, ending up in the staircase between the floors.. there was a guard, but he was so surprised the poor thing didn't even get a chance to take a new breath before Steve snapped his neck.. God, that man's expression still sits with me..” and Bucky shuddered, taking a breath, as if to calm himself. Tony could see what was going on. Something he didn't like, but it would most likely happen. What Bucky had gone through, what he'd most likely end up going through, it was weird he didn't suffer from PTSD already.

“I- we were careful when we ran down the corridor, just giving each room a glimpse to see if you were there. The longer down the hall, the fewer inmates there was in the cells, until we reach the final one, where you were being held.” Bucky explained.

“That would also explain why there was no one replying to me every time there was no guard in the hall..” Tony mused.

“They were aware, the other prisoners.. they had this guilty looks on their faces and told us to get you and get the hell out of there before anyone caught us.. one guy even said he tried talking to you but the guard shot him in the foot for doing so.” Bucky said and Tony gaped.

“Wow, that's.. harsh..” he muttered.

“Yeah, they seemed more inclined on making sure you got out safe than their own escape.. by what I could see, they didn't live all to healthy, worse than that of those in the barracks actually..” Bucky said.

“Yeah, it was, in the barracks you could at least talk to someone.. not go insane like I think I was going to be..” Tony told him.

“We grabbed you, got out and down.. we were nearly caught too, but Jones has one hell of a hearing, heard them long before any of us and stopped us in time.. once outside, we just kinda ran, switching on carrying you.. we didn't run far, just long enough to take a look at you, as you remember.” Bucky explained.

“Remember that..” Tony agreed and Bucky hummed.

“Bu- it was.. an eyeopener.. when you guys came..” he had almost said how good it had been to see Bucky. Not that he didn't want to see the rest, but Bucky's eyes alone could have given Tony a lot more strength during those days in Romainville. Bucky gave this tiny grin, scratching his cheek with a finger.

“So, from there on, we got back to camp, I was nearly thrown to the ground by Howard.. well, I've got to say, fantastically short and well, great, you got me out, so I guess that's all that matters..” Tony said. Bucky smiled softly.

“Yeah, you not in the team is like missing a big limb, we got our own humor show when you and Steve got at it with your jokes and arguments.” Bucky stated. Tony gave an undignified squawk at that, glaring at Bucky, although halfheartedly so. Then they both grinned, Tony's more awkwardly, but still, it was a grin.

“It's good to be back.. even if it's.. different..” Tony murmured.

“It's good to have you back too, I- we've missed you.” Bucky caught himself, but Tony had heard the slight catch. Had he really missed him more than the rest? Tony wasn't sure, nor was he sure he'd want to know. If Bucky liked him, it could cause problems for the entire team. Being romantically involved with your teammates meant that if one went down, the other would be useless thanks to all the feels they'd go through. Tony was mildly aware that he was thinking of himself as a fan suffering, sobbing and dying over their OTP. Oh God, how pathetic wasn't that? Tony mentally groaned.

“I've been thinking though..” Tony said, his mind catching up as he stilled. Bucky tilted his head slightly, looking at him. Tony stared back, eyes searching for something, some sort of hint as to what exactly Bucky was feeling, because the hints had been there, but maybe he had read to much into it? He internally sighed. He was definitely reading too much into it. Bucky would never return what he felt, there was no way he'd even like someone like him, much less another man. Tony's mind kind of drifted off like that, not aware that Bucky was watching him and talking.

“Hm?” he hummed, giving a grimace. Bucky sighed.

“I said, about what?” Bucky asked back, a smile tugging at his lips.

“About taking some time off, Howard has suggested I take a year off and go home, well, to his home in New York.” Tony mused. A year in a large mansion was rather tempting after this, but could he really get out of the army just because of this? Or could he stay? He wondered if he'd just be in the way. He couldn't carry much without doubling over, nor could he hold down his food and his sleep was about as bad as that of a drug-addict without drugs.

“That actually sounds like a great idea.” Bucky answered, already nodding.

“But I don't wanna..” Tony whined. Bucky's eyes widened before he snickered.

“Sound like something you'd say, yeah, but really, it's just a year, we'll try not to finish the war before you come back.” Bucky said and Tony stared wide-eyed at him for a long minute, then he shook his head, mentally laughing. Not so easy to actually laugh now-a-days. Besides, he knew that it wasn't possible, the war would end in a few months and then there was nothing but the Stark Industries to return to, of course, by Howard's side. Tony knew that wasn't much of a problem, and if he wanted to be in the army, there were loads of wars for him to join later. The Korean war, the Vietnam war. Tony shuddered at the thought. He'd never liked the wars his father had told him about, they sounded so bloody, which of course, they were, it was a war, there was always blood spilled during war.

“We'll see..” Tony answered instead. Bucky opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off.

“Hey, Stark, Barnes, get over here.” Dum-Dum called and the two exchanged curious glances before they stood up; Tony with some difficulty. They walked over to the older man, who grinned. Tony tilted his head to the side, keenly aware that Bucky was doing the same.

“What's going on?” Tony asked. Dum-Dum snickered.

“Come on and you'll see.” he turned, leading them towards Steve's tent. Upon entering, Tony was surprised by a spectacle he had never seen before. Every single Howler was there, and Howard too. They were, of course, grinning from ear to ear, Howard's by far the gentlest. Tony stared at them with wide eyes as Howard chuckled, arms crossed over his chest as he motioned towards the rest with a nudge of his head.

“Happy birthday!” they suddenly said, Bucky for some reason, joining. Tony continued to gape at them.

“I- what?” he asked, blinking his eyes several times. To his surprise, there was a cake on the table in the middle of the room, and there was beer too, probably courtesy of Howard. They all laughed at him and Tony felt his cheeks heat up. He knew he was blushing and his insides warmed at their thoughtfulness.

“I think we broke him..” Jim mused. Steve barked out a laughter, deep and amused.

“More like made him speechless, but for him, that's the same, isn't it, Stark?” Steve teased.

“S-shut up..” Tony pouted. Everyone just laughed and smiled cheerfully.

“We couldn't, like, put 49 candles on this, it would be fire-hazard and I don't want to be responsible from burning down Roger's tent.” Howard said, smiling softly. Tony just continued to stare.

“It's.. I-” Tony licked his lips, giving the entire situation a look-over.

“Thank you..” he murmured, mere seconds after. They all just smiled.

“Hey, it's fine, come on, I haven't eaten cake in like, years.” Dum-Dum said, making the rest erupt into all levels of laughter and Tony, surprisingly, found himself chuckling along with it.

“You should stop thinking with you stomach Dum-Dum.” Montgomery snarked.

“Ah, shut it, it's what our bellies are made for isn't it?” Dum-Dum answered, grinning brightly.

“Only for you..” Tony said sharply and Dum-Dum stared wide eyed at him before he erupted into a deep and loud laughter, both hands on his stomach. Tony couldn't help but think of Santa when he saw it, despite the fact that he never believed in the guy. Tony let Bucky drag him over to the table. The cake did look rather tasty too, now that he thought about it. He couldn't remember the last time he had taken a bite out of something as luxurious as that. Probably somewhere around the time Tony was still Iron Man, before the Chituari, before Loki, before the war. Tony smiled softly, watching as Howard slapped Dum-Dum's hand as the bearded man reached for the cake. The soldier pulled back his hand as if burned, Howard glaring at him.

“Tony first.” he said sharply.

“Yes mom.” Dum-Dum just answered, rolling his eyes, but still smiling. Howard's face flushed a deep scarlet, eyes wide and an expression of shock and embarrassment. Tony, despite everything lately, felt a large smile grow onto his face and not seconds later, he was laughing loudly, wrapping his skinny arms around his slim waist. The former billionaire knew the rest was watching him, probably with various faces of satisfaction. Tony took large breaths of air afterward, having guffaws of laughter rolling through him even minutes after. He dried a tear threatening to fall and shook his head.

“I knew there was a reason I liked hanging out with you crazy people.” he said.

“Takes one to know one right?” Howard said, one eyebrow raised and a smile on his face.

“Sure does.” Tony answered brightly. He felt so, light, differently from before, but better. It wasn't that easy, everyone knew that, but it was a start right?

* * *

 

As Tony walked down the stairs from the plane. It surprised him of easily he'd accepted to go home. Well, as much of a home it could ever be. Howard was walked down right in front of him, probably in case Tony stumbled and fell. Not that he would anyway. Tony squinted in the strong sun, reaching the end of the stairs soon enough. Howard lead him over to a black, sleek car a 'la 40's. Tony had always liked car in these years, they were stable, good and could pretty much stand anything, as proved during the time Captain America emerged, well, according to his own old man.

“You still there?” Howard's voice brought him back to the present. Tony nodded slowly.

“Yeah, just thinking..” he answered. Howard smiled.

“Okay, yeah, well, let's go, we'll get Jarvis to whip up something tasty for tonight.” he said. Tony couldn't help the grin. Their butler. He could very well remember the British butler, Edwin Jarvis. Tony had grown up around him, the man practically raising him because of his absent parents. How many times hadn't Jarvis taught him what to do and not to. Made him delicious meals and held him when he'd have nightmares. He had been genuinely sad when Jarvis had passed away, which was partly why his AI had the butlers British voice. Sentiment. And despite his father trying to drill it out of him, he still had it, though barely there.

“Sounds great..” Tony answered. Howard grinned and got into the car, Tony following.

“So, Jarvis, how's he in your world?” Howard asked as they fastened their seat belts, but keeping his voice low as the driver started the car. Tony grinned.

“Greatest man ever to walk the Earth, I used to think God personally blessed his British ass with great cooking skills and patience as a saint.” he answered, chuckling together with Howard.

“Sound familiar alright.” Howard said. Tony looked out of the window as the airport disappeared and streets appears. Dusty, brown and gray buildings, kids in dirty clothes running around on the streets playing games and men on their way to or from work. Women doing their usual, it was always like this now-a-days.

“Well, the doc's set the diet, and Jarvis will make sure you'll follow it, and I'll make sure a gym is set up so you can start some training, but keep it light okay?” Howard asked as the car turned the corner before stopping in front of a large, grand building. Tony stared at it. He could vaguely remember it, from a time when he was a child, but they had moved away, Tony going for MIT and when he finished, his parents had moved out and the house demolished to build a office building that SI rented out. Of course, when his parents died, Tony just let it be rented out, sadly, it burned down during the attack on New York. Tony got out, shortly followed by Howard and a portier, as well as the all to familiar butler appeared, taking out their belonging from the car. Tony stared. Edwin Jarvis looked younger that he could remember, brown hair, still straight as an arrow from toe to head, but younger nevertheless.

“Sir, welcome home.” Jarvis said, bowing his head lightly to Howard, who smiled, slightly awkwardly so.

“Yes, um, Tony, come on.” he said, motioning for Tony to follow him. Jarvis eyed him curiously and Tony had this sudden urge to run into him and squeeze him until he was grasping for air. Stupid, sentimental past. Tony sighed to himself and followed Howard through the gates, and over the path to the mansion. Well inside, Howard turned towards Jarvis, who was waiting for any new orders.

“Jarvis, meet Tony, my brother.” and Jarvis, God bless him, looked exactly the same as that time Tony came running to him when he was nine, clothes just shreds after he blew up his newest creation.

“I'm not.. fully sure I follow sir.” Jarvis answered politely.

“Well, it's a long story.. making it short, my father got a son while he was young, one I wasn't aware of..” Howard grimaced at Tony, eyes desperate. So Tony coughing lightly.

“Ah, yes, it is true, I've always been a Stark, even though I wasn't aware I had a family.. my name is Anthony Edward Stark, nice to meet you Jarvis.” Tony said, smiling softly at the man. Jarvis stared right back at him, eyeing him up and down, stopping shortly at his dog tags, which hung outside his shirt. Then he bowed his head slightly.

“Edwin Jarvis sir, pleased to meet you.” Jarvis answered, ever the man of politeness.

“Likewise, I hope we'll get along..” Tony said, giving a grin, although awkward. He still couldn't smile completely genuinely it seemed and Jarvis noticed this, looking to Howard for answer. Howard gave a grimace.

“Tony just came back from 15 months in concentration camp.” Howard said, keeping it simple for now. Jarvis's expression turned grand serious. Tony was slightly amused at the way Jarvis easily showed how much he cared for someone.

“That, is sad to hear sir, were you a soldier at the front line sir?” Jarvis asked. Tony chuckled.

“Yes, First Sergeant and a proud part of Howling Commando's and I've planned to return when I've recovered.” Tony answered.

“Ah, yes.” Jarvis nodded. Of course he'd notice how thin Tony was. His cheekbones in stark contrast of shadows on his pale skin.

“Yeah, Jarvis, the doc prescribed a diet for Tony, and he will follow it strictly, also, no hard training for the first month, only light until he get's some fat and muscle on his body.” Howard said. Jarvis nodded immediately, giving Tony one of those reassuring, but strict smiles he recognized.

“Yes sir.” and Tony suddenly wondered if he'd ended up biting over more than he can shew. He knew Jarvis and his ways. The man had always managed to get Tony to listen. Always gotten him to do as told. He was one of few whom Tony listened to after all.

“Guess you'll want to pick a room?” Howard asked and Tony looked at him.

“Bed? A soft, big bed?” he almost whined, he knew it, but damn, if anything, it was one of the things he longed the most for. A soft bed to sink into instead of a cot or some spring bed that was typical in the army. Howard chuckled as he handed a thick folder to Jarvis. Tony knew it was all about him, his health issues, his mental issues, diet and whatnot.

“Of course, follow me.” Howard said. Jarvis bowed to them before he disappeared off to who knows where. Tony and Howard walked further into the house. It took Tony about two minutes to find the perfect room. It was a large room with the few away from the street and into the small, but well placed garden behind it. Three big, French windows and two doors, one to a closet and one to a bathroom. Tony stared at the large, king sized bed in between two of the windows. Everything fit him perfectly. A calm, golden-beige color all around and white curtains. Not like what he used to have when he was still in his own world, but comfortable. There wasn't much in the room though, probably because it wasn't used before.

“How is this?” Howard asked, watching him, although fully aware that Tony already wanted it.

“This one.. is perfect.” Tony said.

* * *

 

The first few weeks, Tony found himself slowly gaining a pound or two. It wasn't really surprising, but it was going slow enough for it not to cause any trouble. However, trouble being his middle name, Tony soon found himself suffering worse. The damage done to his body ensured that he would have to go on that diet for the rest of his life. Which sucks. It wasn't much of an actual diet, it was more like him having to eat a minimum amount of calories each day, or at least, week. Often he didn't finish his meals, or at least, tried to stop, but Jarvis just gave him that stare that had him looking down into his plate shoveling the food into his mouth without further complaining. Howard laughed each and every time. A month passed and the two Stark brothers got guests. Guest's being the Howling Commando's.

* * *

 

Tony sat up straight, turned his head towards the large doors as he heard the loud noises. Familiar, but loud noises nevertheless. Tony chuckled and pushed the pen he'd been using out of the way. He stood up and walked over to the door. Tony stretched on his way out. Sitting in the office all day long wasn't doing his muscles any good. Not that he had much muscles anyway, but still. The now rich -again, man moved down the hall, reached the stairs, in which he stopped, staring at the pack of slightly filthy, but cheerful pack of men in the large entry hall. Howard was standing there too, smiling, arms crossed and chuckling while Jarvis was scowling at their clothing, which Tony couldn't blame him for, it was like dragging in a dog who played in the puddles. Then the brunette who held Tony's heart looked up, catching his eyes and a happy open-mouthed smile broke out on his face. Tony chuckled and moved down the stairs. The rest of the group turned, all of them gaping at him, even Steve.

“It's been a while..” Tony said, smiling easily at them, something he'd found himself able to do more and more lately.

“Damn Stark, you've even got a tan!” Steve said and Tony chuckled again.

“Yeah, went to Miami last week, perfectly sensible really and damn, all those dames..” he breathed out the last part, just letting them stand there, imagining the pearly beaches, the ocean and most of all, all the women in tight swimwear and all beauty. Tony licked his lips, aware that they were all groaning at what could have been the best week/vacation ever.

“But, hey, war going on, so just a week, gotta say, between Jarvis' meals and Howard's constant talk of weapons and how damn well the company is going, I've managed to put on a little bit of weight..” Tony said, grinning. Howard let out a tiny sound that might have been a groan, but could just as well been some sort of protest, or his name really. Tony just smiled at them.

“Well, it's good to see you've become better, even though that mouth of yours never changed..” Steve stated and Tony flushed, protesting with a whine.

“Hey, it's my best charm.” he protested, but they were already laughing at him.

“Sadly, yes.” Dum-Dum said and Tony squeaked.

“Not you too, stop teasing!” Tony whined.

“When it's this fun? No.” Steve said as if it was morally wrong to stop.

“Fine, be that way.” Tony crossed his arms over his chest, pouting.

“Aw, come on Stark, it's not that bad.” Gabriel said, grinning.

“For you, no, for me, oh yes.” Tony said, faking anger, but his lips were already tugging upwards.

“Tony..” Howard said, sternly, but still smiling. Tony grinned.

“Aw, come on, it's been a month, I've been missing my army buddies.” he teased.

“I have been made aware of that, every ten minutes or so, thank you, but maybe they'd like a shower and some food? Jarvis will have an heart attack if they walk around the house looking like that.” Howard stated, give the group a once-over. They just laughed back. Tony slowly nodded.

“Of course, wouldn't want to risk Jarvis' life, we'd be dead without him.” Tony agreed.

“Thank you for the reassuring words sir, I'll keep that in mind.” Jarvis answered dryly, but there was a tiny smile tugging at his lips in a way Tony knew the man was secretly amused. It had never failed to surprise his how sassy the younger butler was. And now he knew why his own AI had always seemed so full of snark and sarcasm. Tony snickered.

“Well?” he asked the men, whom all just stared at him with the same blank look.

“Okay, stupid question, Jarvis, if you would.” Tony said, chuckling. Jarvis nodded shortly after.

“Of course, please follow me.” he said to the group of soldiers and lead them away. Tony watched them go, Howard standing a few feet from him.

“So, regretting taking a year off?” Howard suddenly asked. Tony turned his head before he shook it. He gave him a sad smile.

“Not really, it's just been a long time..” he answered. It hadn't really been, but not seeing Bucky for a month was making some really big traces in his mind, and that didn't even end at the times Tony had jerked off in the shower or in bed, and as ashamed as Tony was to admit it, doing it while thinking of Bucky. God he was in it way too deep.

“For as long as it lasts, they're here.” Howard said. Tony nodded, smiling ever so brightly.

“Yeah.” he murmured.

“And, as awkward as this may be, you need to get laid.” that had Tony spinning around and gaping at Howard.

“W-what?” he asked, a blush rising to his cheeks involuntarily. Howard raised an eyebrow.

“I've seen the looks you send him Tony, and.. don't look at me like that, just, Tony..” he came over, closer than usual, but eyeing the man gently now. Tony wondered when or how Howard had figured it out, but if he did, he was screwed.

“I'm not ashamed, nor am I disappointed in you, it happens, you can't stop loving someone just because the society says it's morally wrong and damn if I'm going to let you think that.. I'm happy for you, I really am, I'm just worried about how he feels for you.. the looks you give him, they are certainly returned.” Howard said. Tony just gaped at him.

“W-wha-” he cut himself off, then he bit his bottom lip, looking down.

“If people knew.. it would either be prison or.. 'treatment', you know that..” he said, shaking his head ruefully. Howard sighed.

“Tony, if I'm the only person who knows, then that is that, I'm not going to sell you out, nor am I going to push you away, it's your choice.. if you love Barnes as much as I'm sure he loves you, than you'd better damn get to it.. the war going on.. the chances of being with the one you love in these times.. it's slim to none.” Howard explained, crossing his arms. Tony looked at him then, giving a slight nod.

“I.. guess so.. it's just, if he had been looking at me like that, I'd notice, I'm sure I would.. I'm not that daft..” he muttered and Howard suddenly laughed.

“You Tony, are one of the most oblivious person I've ever met, trust me, he'd most likely have to rut against you and yell it in your face to get through to you, you've been dancing around each other for years.” Howard said, snickering still. Tony grumbled.

“I can't believe it's this obvious.. just, don't tell him okay? I want to.. well, somehow get it out myself.. and besides, I'm not sure I'd want to yet, the war.. being in the army, on the same team, it might not be so good, if he dies, I wont be able to.. you know, fight.” Tony said.

“You wouldn't be able to fight Nazi's however you two were if he went down Tony, that's my point, the person you were the most happiest to see after the concentration camp, was him, I'm pretty sure that the time he survived the train, you also felt like that.” it wasn't a question, and by Howard's sure smirk, Tony knew it was useless fighting it.

“Fine, yeah.. I did..” he muttered.

“And remember Tony, this is your home, no matter who you love, what you are or who you are, you're my brother and I'd be damned if anything happens to you again.” Howard said. The whole 'father/son' thing was a given, but wasn't said from the fear of being discovered. Tony nodded slowly before he grinned.

“Yeah, thanks Howard, I know, I will remember, just, don't even hit me in the head and give me amnesia and this is the place I'll return to, or rather, the wine cellar really..” Tony snarked and Howard faked offense, joke-glaring, but amusement clear nevertheless.

“The wine cellar, for you, is off limits.” Howard stated clearly.

“Buuuuut.” Tony whined.

“No.. Jarvis will skin me if he ever sees you down there, wait, he'll actually skin us both, so no, no wine, only beer for you, the scotch is kept down there for a reason you know.” Howard mused.

“Howie!!!” Tony whined again. Howard turned to him, cheeks aflame with the color red.

“D-don't call me that..” was his reply and Tony broke out in a strong laughter.

“Don't call you what?” someone asked and the two turned to see Steve coming down the stairs, fresh clothes and clean. Tony grinned.

“Calling Howard How-” he was cut off when Howard promptly put a hand over his mouth.

“Remember, the scotch..” he hissed in his ear and Tony grinned, but stayed still. Steve raised an eyebrow at them before he chuckled.

“The rest is still showering and your butler said you'd probably still be here.” he said, stopping in front of them. Tony nodded slowly as Howard stepped away. The two Stark's moved over and followed by Steve, walked to the nearest living room. This one had a huge fireplace and two grand chairs in front of it. To their left there was two long couches and the other side, bookcases. Not the biggest room in the house. They had a library and two other living rooms, one in which had a grand piano, but this one was the coziest and they would often end up in this room either way. Steve looked about as they entered, both Tony and Howard heading for their spots. The armchairs in front of the fireplace.

“Pretty big.” Steve muttered.

“Not the biggest actually..” Tony supplied as he sat down. The chair was far to big for him, even if he had gotten some muscles and fat back on his body. Howard chuckled.

“Don't rub it in.” he murmured.

“Can't help it, it's genetic.” Tony answered. Steve grunted.

“Howard doesn't brag as much as you.” Steve said.

“Aw, shut it..” Tony whined and the blonde grinned his way.

“So, you not going home this week? It's rare to get a week off during the war.” Tony asked.

“Dad's being a dick, my mother passed away three months ago.” Steve said, sounding far more tense and tight lipped than Tony had ever heard him. The genius turned in his chair, eyeing the soldier, then he sighed, mentally slapping himself.

“Sorry.” he muttered. Steve shook his head.

“It's fine.. she'd be happier away from him anyway.” Steve answered.

“Your father isn't.. good?” Howard asked, suddenly looking grim. Tony knew why and hated ever telling him how his own father had been to him. Besides, Tony knew how his own grandfather, Howard's father and now, although faked, his own father had been. It wasn't weird that his own father had turned out to be so bad. In their family, one had to wonder if it was genetic. Steve sighed.

“Damn bastard can't get his ass up from the couch and put away the bottle for long enough to even wonder what good or bad means.. the only thing he'll ever remember is that I actually enlisted, not thanks to him that is.” Steve said, looking at a big painting to their side. Tony tilted his head slightly.

“Yeah, you did tell me about how much he wanted you to enlist.” Tony said.

“Mhm.. he did, well, I didn't because my mother was getting sicker and dad obviously wasn't going to choose between the alcohol and mom, so yeah, asshole with a capital A.” Steve said, growling slightly at the end. Tony chuckled.

“Not really, because less shit comes out of an actual asshole.” he said. Steve turned, stared at him before both he and Howard broke out laughing madly. Tony grinned at them, happy to have turned up the mood in the room somehow. Howard wheezed for air while Steve was still letting out guffaws of laughter. The door opened, which only Tony noticed. The rest of the Howlers entered, looking rather puzzled. Tony just chuckled, well, until his eyes met Bucky's and everything seemed to stop around them. Then Tony caught himself and blinked, shaking his slightly, turning back to see Howard wink at him and he groaned, kicking his bother's leg. Howard grunted, but he still grinned.

“What's so funny now?” Dum-Dum asked. Tony snickered.

“Just some joke I told them.” he said. Steve's body nearly vibrated with the deep chuckle.

“Yeah.” he agreed, smirking widely.

“Care to retell?” Bucky asked.

“I don't think these two will survive if I do, plus, it's not really funny a second time.” Tony pouted lightly. Bucky pouted too and Tony curled his toes to keep from leaping at him to wipe it of his face. Oh, was he fucking shitting himself? Tony bit the inside of his cheek to keep from saying it out loud. Why was he so impulsive around Bucky? The guy was doing things to him he couldn't explain. And damn if he wasn't even giving a slight fuck about it. Tony cursed himself for accepting the ways Bucky made him feel good. Jarvis entered the room.

“Dinner is ready sir.” he said. Howard sat up.

“Great, get ready for a trip to the heaven.” he said, grinning at the Howlers. Tony chuckled.

“Trust me, he is speaking the truth, and I don't even believe in God.” he agreed.

“Let's test that then.” Dum-Dum said and Tony laughed loudly.

“Fine for me.” he stated as he stood up. Howard and Steve passed him, but Tony stopped up, catching Bucky's eyes again. There was some sort of unreadable emotion going in there and Tony was afraid he'd blurt something out, so he turned towards the door, grinning, although faked.

“Come on Buck, Jarvis' food is so good, you have no idea.” Bucky nodded briskly.

“Okay.” and Tony followed the man out, watching his back. Something was off. Had the brunette heard what he and Howard had talked about earlier? Or had he come to a conclusion himself? Tony muttered a curse under his breath. Maybe it was time asking for an answer?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So looking forward to writing more Bucky/Tony, it's such a great feeling :3  
> Though I didn't really plan to write about them so quickly, I thought of waiting till '46 before getting them into something, but you know, Howard's so pushy..


	14. James Buchanan Barnes, 1945

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Howlers come on a visit, surprising Tony, but what surprises him the most, is how easily Howard has read him.
> 
> Tony takes the long jump and with the (un)welcome help of Steve and Howard, finally talks to Bucky about his feelings for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yiss!! Updating at midnight and going strong..  
> Chapters a bit short, but that's because I couldn't figure out what to write in this one.. ugh..
> 
> So, giving you some smut before heading to bed :D

 

Tony walked into the big kitchen the next morning to find nearly the entire Howling Commandos and Howard sitting by the table, all chatting and eating while Jarvis cooked and two of the maids ran around, serving them.

“Well well, look who is finally up.” Dum-Dum commented, having noticed Tony first and the talking stopped, everyone suddenly looking at Tony, who flushed. He walked over, sitting down beside Howard, who handed him this day's newspaper.

“Thanks..” Tony muttered. Jarvis put a plate down in front of him and he squinted at the bread, trying to get his brain to wake up. The coffee did the trick. Howard chuckled and grabbed a small bottle Jarvis just handed him. Tony took it gingerly, opening it to get out a tiny, white pill. It wasn't what he'd prefer, or actually get in the age he came from, but it was better than nothing, and took the edge of everything. Tony popped the pill into his mouth and downed it with a glass of milk.

“That bad huh?” Gabriel asked, eyeing the bottle in Tony's hand. Tony sighed.

“Worse.. but this is the best they had, can't really complain though, can I?” he said, grinning. The man nodded before they all returned to their food. Tony flipped open the newspaper as he took a bite out of his own food. Nothing of importance, no news about the war either. Tony put down the newspaper before he caught Steve staring at him.

“It's getting better, the war.” Steve said. The rest continued to eat, but the air turned tense.

“Yeah, figured, any news from the Japanese? They were hit pretty badly lately weren't they?” Tony asked. Steve nodded.

“Yeah, I think they're getting to scared by now, it's looking bright in that corner, Hitler on the other hand, is annoying stubborn.. how he even get's his troops this big, I will never know.” he explained. Tony slowly nodded.

“Guess it can't be helped then, we'll just have to use blunt force to end this, it'd be better if it was a surrender, there would be less death..” Tony muttered. There seemed to be a silent agreement to that, but no one said anything about it. Tony looked over at Bucky, who looked like he could have used another five or six hours of sleep. Tony knew why. He wasn't the only one suffering from nightmares, and honestly, he didn't blame him for looking so dead. As far as Tony had gathered, Bucky's treatment in that Hydra facility had been rough, and he knew it haunted the younger man. Tony himself, suffered more than enough nightmares that he knew how he looked, the medicine just helped him sleep better. Tony quickly finished his meal and got up.

“Up already?” Howard gave him a curious look as he talked, but Tony just shrugged.

“Got some work to do.” no he didn't, but he didn't need to tell them that. He turned and left the room. He needed time to think. What Howard had told him yesterday had left it's traces and Tony knew he had to tell Bucky eventually, but he wasn't sure how, nor was he sure it was such a good thing, not with the rest of the Howlers around. Tony sighed, stopping halfway up the stairs. There was a chance that the two getting together wouldn't be taken so well on the team, and it could cause more than just uncomfortable chatting. Tony wouldn't risk the team's whole for something as selfish as want for another man.

“I have no idea how to do this..” he muttered, and it was true wasn't it?

* * *

 

Dinnertime came and went without Tony figuring out how to tell Bucky. It wasn't until they were gathered in the same living room as yesterday that the opportunity came. Steve and Howard had looked at each other, then left the room, dragging the rest of the Howlers, leaving Bucky and Tony behind. Tony had caught on and cursed Howard at that moment whole Bucky just stared after them with confused eyes.

“What was that even about?” Bucky asked. Tony lifted a hand, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Dunno..” he mumbled. Why the hell was he suddenly nervous? Tony grumbled to himself. It was so unlike him to act like that, and while it was a good thing -maybe, it wasn't funny, nor was he comfortable with it. He turned, staring at nothing in particular. Bucky came over and sat down in Howard's chair. Tony didn't look at him, just shook his head. There was no way he could tell Bucky yet, no matter what chances Howard and Steve gave him. Tony figured his get his hands on those two motherfuckers later for even planning this, and then figure out how Steve fit in all of this.

“Tony?” Bucky's voice brought him back to the present and he blinked.

“Yeah?” he asked, looking at the brunette.

“You okay? You looked.. a little pissed of there for a second.” Bucky sounded cautious so Tony frowned. Then he shook his head, smiling softly.

“No, I'm fine, just thinking about that idiot of a brother of mine, and that oaf of a friend of yours.” he said. Bucky's eyes widened slightly, amusement clear in his eyes.

“What did they do this time?” he asked. Tony stared at him for a long minute before he shook his head. He licked his lips to wet them. Bucky made some strange noise and Tony looked back to see Bucky's face tensing up. His hands was holding onto the arms of the armchair tightly enough that his knuckles were going white. Tony frowned again, tilting his head slightly.

“Bucky? Something wrong?” he asked. Bucky blinked several times before he took a few steadying breaths. Then the brunette shook his head.

“No, nothing wrong..” he answered, but Tony couldn't help but wonder if Bucky's sudden actions was a reaction to him and so he sat back, looking at the fireplace before he ran a finger experimentally over his chin, thumb catching at his lips and he opened them, using his teeth to nip gently at the nail. There was no sound from Bucky as far as he could tell, but Tony knew how to get a reaction out of most people, even men. So he dragged his thumb roughly against his bottom lip before he dragged it back under his lip, over the catch of hair. Suddenly a lot of weight settled on top of him and Tony's head jerked around and up to see Bucky staring down at him, eyes dark and heavy. His knees was settling on either side of him and Tony knew that if anyone walked in, they'd be in a shitload of trouble.

“Bucky?” he asked, surprised and yet not. Bucky growled slightly.

“What the hell is it that you're doing?” Bucky hissed at him. Tony blinked.

“Huh?” he asked.

“Must be something, for this feeling is, I know what it is, but you're.. you're my friend, and a man.. it's not normal..” Bucky was loosing his footing, Tony could see that, so he placed a hand on Bucky's, which was set on the armchair to keep himself up. Bucky's breath caught in his throat and Tony felt heat rise to his cheeks.

“Trust me, it's not, but that doesn't make it any more wrong..” Tony murmured back at him.

“Wha-” Bucky sat back, eyes wide in surprise and Tony shook his head gently.

“Sorry.. didn't mean to.. I didn't think..” Tony muttered.

“No, it's, you just caught me off guard.. wait, so you're saying..” Bucky began and Tony smiled.

“Yes James..” Tony answered. Bucky's breath caught in his throat again and Tony knew how effective it was using the man's real name. Something akin to happiness was sweeping across the brunette's face and Tony smiled brightly. Their eyes met and Tony was caught in those blue eyes. He couldn't believe this was happening, much less that he was now inches from Bucky, who was staring right back at him. Suddenly there was uncertainty in his eyes and Tony wet his lips. He himself was more than nervous, after the concentration camp, he wasn't quite sure he ever wanted to have sex again, or even touch himself, or anything sensually. Bucky bit his bottom lip.

“Is it.. okay? If anyone learns..” he murmured and Tony did the only rational thing -to him anyway, and leaned up, brushing his lips against the other man's. The touch alone sent sparks down his spine and his nerves sang in happiness. Bucky gasped lightly, eyes wide, but now he was silent. Tony smiled softly.

“Howard knows, and I bet Rogers does too by the way those two pretty much left us alone, I know Howard wanted me to talk to you.” Tony mused and Bucky slowly nodded.

“But is it safe?” he asked. Tony sighed.

“I don't know.. I honestly don't, I'd like to believe it is, but..” Tony fell silent.

“And you? After everything that's happened, are you okay with it?” Bucky asked.

“I..” Tony fell silent. Bucky shook his head, moving to get off, but Tony grabbed him by his arms. By strength, Bucky could easily overpower him thanks to his thin body, but Bucky wouldn't, not when they were talking about this. The blue eyed man stared at him, confused.

“I've only.. been in love once before..” Tony murmured. Bucky nodded slowly.

“That.. uh..” he frowned.

“Pepper, yes, I loved her, and I still do, but you.. you it's..” Tony murmured.

“It's fine if you don't.. uh, don't want it..” Bucky muttered.

“Bu- James, I.. really want this, it's just, after everything, I'm just not sure.. why you'd want me..” Tony said, grimacing. Bucky tilted his head slightly before he moved back, this time settling across his lap. Tony flushed at the position. If he had been any lesser of a man, or at least, not having gone through what he had during his time in Romainville, he'd probably groan and do some unmentionable things to Bucky. The soldier stared at him for a long minute, completely silent before he smiled.

“I don't know.. I've never actually thought about it, I just assumed I admired you and stuff, but then.. Hydra caught you and.. I..” Bucky fell silent. Tony nodded.

“I know.. and I'm unsure, scared, self-conscious, but I also curious, I'm tired of hiding and wishing in wain..” Tony answered, giving a slight smile. Bucky raised both hand, placing both on his shoulders. There was a moment Tony thought Bucky would do something they'd both regret right now, but then he leaned down, pressing their foreheads together. Sappy for their age.

“I wont push you.. nor will I pressure you Tony, know that.. I just.. I want this, but I'm afraid of what they'll do to us if we're caught.” Bucky murmured. Tony looked up at him. He knew personally how Nazi's treated those who 'sinned' by sleeping with those of the same gender. It was dangerous, but that was part of the thrill, and there's been loads of times he'd caught soldiers doing just that. They'd freaked out completely, but Tony had just shrugged them off before telling them to be more careful and not being so loud next time. They'd flushed and run off. It had been hilarious back then.

“I know that.. and we'll be careful, I promise, no one need to know, Howard is able to keep his mouth shut and if Rogers knows, we'll let him know shut up about it okay?” Tony asked. Bucky looked down at him before he smiled, brighter and brighter by the second.

“Yeah?” he whispered.

“Yeah.” Tony murmured back at him.

“Can I.. uh, kiss you?” Bucky asked. Tony took a deep breath, realizing his body was tense.

“Sure.. just, be careful..” Tony answered, relaxing his body. Bucky nodded, pulling away just enough for him to stare at him, then he leaned down. Tony felt the thrill of nervousness. It was like he was a teenager again, giving his first of everything. And he hasn't been a teenager for a long time. Just for a tiny second, Bucky stopped, then he pressed his lips to his. Tony's lips quivered at the hot touch before he pushed forward, just enough to press against him. Bucky made a surprised, but somewhat pleased noise. They held on for a while, just pressing before Tony pulled away, licking his lips and trying to quell the flush on his face. Bucky too, was blushing, but Tony felt like his was darker than the soldier's.

“Well?” Tony asked after a minute of silence. A smile started spreading on Bucky's face.

“Yeah, it works..” he answered. Tony's face kind of exploded in some silly smile.

“Yeah?” he asked again and Bucky snickered.

“Yes, you daft man, yes.” he said and kissed him again. Tony might just have giggled, he wasn't sure. He brought Bucky closer with one hand, while other was rested against his arm. Five minutes into kissing and making silly smiles at each other, Tony brought the present back into his mind and glanced towards the door. Bucky also glanced that way.

“Should probably.. keep it to ourselves for now then..” Tony murmured. Bucky nodded.

“Yeah, I guess so.” he agreed and moved to get of, but Tony, surprising them both, grabbed Bucky and pulled him back for one last kiss, deepening it on purpose. When they parted, Bucky let out small gasps of air and Tony flushed.

“Uh, yeah..” he grinned nervously at Bucky, who slowly started to smile.

“Yep.” Bucky said, then moved off. Tony watched as Bucky settled back into the other chair.

“I'm glad.. you know..” Tony murmured. Bucky stared at him for a long minute, then he smiled.

“Yeah, me too Tony, me too.”

* * *

 

It occurred to Tony, when he entered the kitchen the next morning, that Howard looked far to pleased for his own good. Steve had this smug, knowing smirk he kept sending Bucky, who was flushing badly. The rest of the Howlers continued to eat. If they knew, they didn't say anything, but he was pretty sure Jarvis knew, but the odd look he sent him when he put down his food in front of him. Tony and Bucky's eyes met for a second and Tony had to force him from winking with his eyelashes.

“So, what are you going to do when you go back to boot camp?” he asked, trying to somehow get the subject of something going on away.

“Not much, there's some minor Hydra groups here and there, really, they're scattered about, probably scared out of their pants right now.” Steve stated, eyes never leaving Tony's as if to say 'I know what your doing, switching the subject like that' and it kind of freaked him out, but Tony ignored it in favor of getting his medicine.

“That's good for us then.” Tony stated, popping the pill into his mouth.

“Hope so.” Howard murmured. Tony nodded.

“A cornered man is a dangerous man.” Tony agreed, digging into his food. The Howlers slowly but surely left the room before Jarvis left with the maids to take care of other house chores, leaving Tony, Bucky, Howard and Steve.

“Soooo..” Steve began, lowering the cup he held. Tony looked up at him before he flushed.

“Oh fuck you Capsicle..” he pouted. Bucky's flickered from one to another and down. Howard chuckled.

“You two hit it on then?” and Tony scrambled in his chair, flailing and squeaking.

“W-what?! Howard!” he croaked, blushing. Howard chuckled again.

“It's obvious they did Stark, just by how hard he blushes-” he motions for Tony.

“And how hard Bucky tries to disappear under the table, I'd say they finally got over themselves and got into a relationship.” Steve finished, ignoring how Bucky squeaked and Tony glared at him.

“I am definitely not blushing!” he protest. Steve just gave him a deadpan and Tony looked away, pouting.

“Fine, I am..” he muttered.

“When did you.. know?” Bucky asked after a minute of silence. Tony nodded slowly.

“For whom? You or Stark?” Steve asked. Tony sighed.

“Just go with both don't you?” he said.

“Sure, well, I think Bucky's been into you for like, years, probably since that first time you ran into him at the Expo.” Steve explained and Tony gave Bucky a surprised look. The brunette blushed and played with the fork in front of him.

“I thought it was admiration, that's all..” he murmured.

“I know, you said so yourself.” Tony said, chuckling lightly.

“As for Stark.” Steve began and Ton turned towards him, frowning.

“Well?” he asked.

“I'd say before the rescue of the POW, but your good with your emotions, got one hell of a poker face so..” Steve fell silent and Tony coughed gently.

“Actually, it started when Bucky first enlisted.” he said, looking at Bucky, whose eyes widened and one of those silly smiled spread across his face. Tony smiled back, albeit nervously. Howard gave a bark of laughter.

“Hm, I remember someone telling me you were overly protective of him back then.” he said.

“Oh snuff it, Sander didn't know half of it-” Tony stopped, looking at Bucky, who raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, fine, yeah, I was a protective of the guy, got bullied and shit, but he thought that was it, I didn't realize it until later anyway.. um, around the time you rescued me from Romainville, that was the time I actually admitted to it, I've probably known for a while, but I suck at these kind of feelings.” Tony said. No one protested to that. Tony sighed, looked at the clock and moved to get up, then he eyed his 'brother' and Steve.

“Just, promise not to tell anyone okay? God knows what happens if anyone on the outside learns..” Tony said. He could easily picture Bucky being locked away, even himself, but the fear was enough for him to try and not to think about it. Steve nodded.

“Goes without saying Stark.” Steve answered quickly.

“Thanks..” Tony mumbled.

“Going somewhere?” Howard asked as Steve rushed to finish. A flush rose to his cheeks.

“Yeah, meeting with Peggy.” Steve said, hands fidgetting with the shirt his wore. Tony chuckled.

“Go for it.” he said, giving the guy a thumbs up. Steve raised an eyebrow, then he smirked.

“Thanks.” Steve called before he left the kitchen.

“What was that?” Bucky asked, turning to Tony.

“He's gonna propose to her.” Tony stated, shrugging. Howard and Bucky both stopped what they were doing, gaping at him.

“Wait- what?! When did you figure that out?” Bucky asked.

“I didn't, I guess I just noticed it because we were talking about stuff like that, besides, I said so didn't I? At the Expo, I said she wouldn't let him go.” Tony said, grinning when Bucky slowly nodded, a smirk slowly appearing on his face.

“No, you are not stalking him to see it yourself.” Howard cut in at the two turned to him. Tony started laughing almost immediately while Bucky just scoffed, a grin firmly in place.

“Relax Howie, we're not going to.”

“I told you not to call me that!” 

* * *

 

“Tony?” Tony looked up from the papers in front of him. Anything that could give him a break from his boring work was worth his attention right now. He blinked several times when he noticed Bucky standing in the doorway.

“Yeah?” he asked back. Bucky came in, closing the door after himself. Tony had an almost nagging sense that something was wrong, but it didn't necessarily mean it was wrong even if he felt like that. It was most likely his instincts kicking back in after all that time in the concentration camp. If anything, it was his body doing it for him and it was sad that he couldn't openly express need and lust like he used to. Bucky stopped in front of his desk, staring down at him, so Tony put down the pen.

“Bucky?” he asked.

“You're fine with this right?” Bucky asked and Tony sat back, taking a deep breath.

“Bucky, I've already said it, yes, I am, I'm just.. my body, you know..” Tony used his hands to motion at himself.

“No one would want me the way I am, I'm scarred, broken and filthy, I've got metal sticking out of my chest and I've been in a concentration camp.. you think anyone would want these things?” Tony said, eyeing Bucky, whose eyes widened before he scowled.

“I don't think your filthy, true, your scarred and maybe even broken, but I think your.. um, that you are beautiful.” Bucky blushed scarlet after that and Tony couldn't help the nervous smile reaching his own face.

“Sure? Cuz I'm self-aware and know how I look.. it's not pretty, nor is it neat..” Tony answered.

“But it's you.” and Tony couldn't have gaped more than he did right now. Bucky stepped around the desk before he grabbed both of Tony's hands, leaning down to hover over him.

“I think you're beautiful, because you are you despite everything, despite the scars and the cracks, it's not just the outer layer I want, I want the entire freaking core too.” Bucky said, staring right into his eyes and Tony felt like he was shrinking into the armchair, but it also felt good. His hearts warmed when Bucky told him these things, even if he couldn't bring himself to believe them. He peered at Bucky before his eyes slowly fell to his lips, then he caught himself and looked up at him again. Bucky raised an eyebrow and Tony felt his cheeks heat up.

“I- thank you..” Tony murmured. Bucky grinned widely before he leaned further down, his lips just ghosts above Tony's lips and the genius licked his own, suddenly hyper aware of his surroundings. Then Bucky's lips was on his and he couldn't help the lust springing forth from it's hiding place. It was good, and slightly bad at the same time. When Bucky backed away, eyes never leaving his, Tony decided to do the move and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him back, kissing Bucky for all he was worth, not sloppy or needy mind you, just, kissing him. The noise Bucky made went straight down Tony's body, settling in one place and he grunted. Bucky pulled away shortly after.

“You okay?” he asked, obviously concerned. Tony nodded slowly.

“Yeah, I'm fine..” he said, breathless all of the sudden.

“Just.. not used to that feeling..” he then muttered and Bucky tilted his head slightly.

“What?” he asked. Tony groaned and pointed down himself with a single, scrawny finger. So Bucky looked down and flushed a dark shade of red before he stuttered something that could be a reply, but Tony was too amused to care.

“Uh.. I..” Bucky seemed at a loss of words when he could finally form a coherent sentence.

“It's okay, you don't have to do anything.. it'll.. go down by itself..” though Tony feared that it wouldn't go down so easily. It had been years since the last time he had had an arousal, and as much as he enjoyed it, it was embarrassing and he was nervous too. Bucky's face became that of someone who had their sole concentration on one thing, and that one thing alone. Tony felt like blushing and hiding. His pants was bulging, making him painfully aware of how this looked.

“You.. don't want.. help?” Bucky asked. Tony looked up at him in shock.

“I- what?” he asked back and Bucky flushed.

“Uh, I mean..” he fell silent. Tony licked his lips.

“You.. want to?” Tony asked. Oh God, this was so horribly awkward Howard might as well walk in on them and it couldn't really get any worse. Bucky slowly nodded.

“I mean.. if it's okay..” Bucky added quickly. Tony gaped up at him.

“If it.. helps, it's just, after what happened, I'm a bit nervous..” Tony murmured.

“I'll go slow, I promise I wont hurt you.. I could never..” Bucky fell silent.

“I know, I know you wont Bucky.. I'm just.. honestly.. I'm scared.” Tony said.

“Scared?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, not of being hurt.. but.. used..” Tony shook his head.

“I wouldn't-” Bucky stopped himself.

“I know.. so.. uh, it's okay, just.. I mean.. just be careful..” Tony said slowly. Bucky nodded quickly before he crouched in front of Tony and the genius' breath caught in his throat. About every part of his brain screamed 'too soon' but he really wanted this, but fear was holding him back. The first touch of Bucky's hand on his clothed crotch was enough for him to gasp and he groaned, keeping himself as still as possible.

“Okay?” Bucky asked, waiting then.

“Yeah.” Tony muttered, taking a few deep breaths. The brunette's fingers, albeit trembling, pulled at the zipper. As soon as his pants was opened, Tony groaned, his erection finally getting some freedom. Then Bucky's fingers caught in his underwear and Tony tensed, but calmed himself after a new breath.

“Still okay?” Bucky asked and Tony grunted.

“James!” he whined, glaring down at the brown hair between his legs. Bucky chuckled suddenly.

“Sure..” and pulled at his underwear until his cock was freed. Tony groaned, hips thrusting upwards instinctively. Bucky's face was contorted in concentration and Tony wondered if Bucky was even okay with this kind of thing. Men doing men, it was different talking about to actually doing it. Then a single finger ran up the back of his cock and Tony groaned loudly.

“Shit.. it's been a while..” he groaned. Tony couldn't even remember the last time he jacked off, much less got a hand job -back with Pepper, but seriously, this was insane. Then Bucky's whole hand wrapped around him like it was all about that and Tony's mouth fell open, part surprise part pleasure.

“Feel good?” Bucky asked.

“Christ, yes- fuck, James!” Tony groaned, hands tight on the arms of the chair. The pressure wasn't hard, nor did he go fast, but Bucky's hands stroked up and down. Tony squirmed and felt his nerves was coming out of his body. It had been ages since he felt this good, the time in Romainville had been anything but that. This, was good, it was calming and it was reassuring. Tony couldn't keep his thoughts on that subject though. Bucky's hand tightened and suddenly Tony came, hard and fast, unable to do anything but groan and jerk against the hand. And Bucky, he moaned loudly.

“Well, that went well..” Bucky whispered. Tony gave a breathless chuckle.

“Yeah.. fuck, that was.. good, no, fuck, it was fantastic.” Tony stuttered out. Bucky stood up and Tony didn't even have to look down his body to know Bucky was hard. The soldier, on the other hand, just shrugged, shaking his head.

“It's fine, you don't have to.” he said. Tony groaned.

“And if I want to?” he asked. Bucky groaned loudly, almost doubling over.

“Fuck, Tony, don't.. talk like that..” he grunted. Tony grabbed him by the loops in his pants and pulled him close, then onto his lap. It wasn't much of a fit, considering Tony was so thin, but they managed. Tony worked Bucky's pants open and slipped a hand into his briefs. The gasp Bucky let out, it was as close to heaven as Tony thought it would be. He easily wrapped his hand around Bucky's cock and jerked, harder than Bucky had done to him. Bucky groaned and gasped. Tony smiled and leaned up, placing small kisses on the underside of Bucky's jaw until the soldier looked down and their lips met harshly. The younger man jerked in his lap as Tony worked his cock like it was all Tony knew and it didn't take long for Bucky to groan into his mouth, coming. They sat there, gasping for air a couple of minutes before Tony looked down.

“Well, shit, gotta get new shirt don't I?” he said, but smiling nevertheless. Bucky grunted.

“Sorry about that..” he muttered. Tony just shrugged.

“It's fine, next time I'll wear one of Howard's just because I can.” and Bucky flushed.

“Oh God, you-” Tony shut him by kissing him.

“Now, are you going to change yours or do you want to have Rogers teased you the rest of the day?” and Bucky was off him so fast Tony almost didn't feel the change of weight. Then he snickered and Bucky pouted.

“I g-guess..” he agreed, though blushing right through it. Tony tucked himself in before he looked to their right, out of the window.

“Next time, I'll remember to close the curtains, God knows anyone could have see us..” he muttered. Bucky nodded, tucking himself in. Tony turned back to him and watched him straighten.

“Bucky, if you hate that we're hiding..” he began, but Bucky lifted a hand.

“I completely understand, Tony, it's 1945, it's war and if I haven't understood it correctly, Nazi's don't take these kind of things well, nor does the army in our own country, it's what happens, and I don't want anything to happen to you okay? So we'll keep it hidden until we don't need to anymore.” Bucky said and Tony gave a short nod before he smiled softly.

“Thanks, yeah.. we'll do that.”

* * *

 Tony entered the room, finding Jarvis standing by the counter, cutting something green, something Tony didn't necessarily like, well, as long as Jarvis cooked it, it went down at least.

“Jarvis?” Tony called out and the butler's hands stopped, the man soon turning to meet him.

“Yes sir?” he asked.

“Can you.. um.. can you teach me how to cook?” somehow, the genius felt like he had asked to something far more perverse than Bucky's naked body at the moment. The butler stared at him for a good minute, not answering, not even making a noise.

“Um.. was that bad to ask? I honestly want to learn to cook.. in case I'm going back to the war.. so.. uh, if you want to think it through.. it's fine, it is.. right?” Tony asked. Jarvis suddenly blinked, then he chuckled and shook his head. His smile however, when he looked at him, was gentle.

“Yes sir, it's fine.” Jarvis answered. Tony started to smile right away.

“Thank you Jarvis.” Tony said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to much, but still smut.. it'd be.. against everything to have them shagging already, not gonna give in to that want yet ;)


	15. 1946 in Høybakken, Norway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time comes when Tony returns to the army, but only after realizing something is different than what he knew.
> 
> And the loss of a Howler, how will they take it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much of this chapter is research (or just memories) I did today, fuck that was a lot.. 
> 
> Kind of spoilerish, but -> Høybakken is a village in the municipality of Bjugn, in the Fosen district, which is in the county Sør-Trøndelag, Norway.  
> Though, back then (as in the story) Høybakken used to be a part of Stjørna, which later split up, becoming part Bjugn and part Rissa, another municipality. (that was in 1964)
> 
> The forest in which is mentioned, is today called Austrått Landscape, but back during the war, it was used to build several lookout towers.. and I can't find a name given for it, but we actually call it Austrått lunden, which is more accurate, there's moose and cheeps there :D  
> The concrete blocks used for the towers still stands there today, some almost overgrown by now. And Austrått canon, or fort as it's also called, is a tourist attraction and one of three in the world that comes from the boat in which they were used on.. (but damaged during a British attack on the boat hahahaha)
> 
> I've lived there so yeah, pretty nice place, the old store which used to be there is now used as a home actually..  
> Um, okay.. on with the story..

 

“I didn't need to hear about your little adventures Stark..” Tony wasn't even looking at Fury throughout the entire thing, but now, he did and he was smirking, smugly so. The two agents sitting there was oddly silent, but mostly because their faces was an interesting shade of gray, were it had been a dark red when Tony told them about the concentration camp and the rape.

“Well, I needed something happy to think about, it's just, this, what Bucky and I were doing, it's a reason I'm telling you, at one point it could have been what saved my life..” Tony stated, staring blankly at Fury, but his eyes had a tiny hint of anger and sadness filling them. Fury raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything more about it.

“Fine, just jump to what's important Stark.” he almost snapped at him. Tony sighed.

“Yeah yeah, well, I gained weight and went back, it wasn't.. until August the same year, that I realized just how different that Earth is to this..”

* * *

 

It was August 6th, Tony was sitting in from of the fire, sipping from a glass of scotch and a book in his lap when Howard suddenly sprang into the room, startling him. A second later and the younger Stark was pulling him out of the armchair and out of the room.

“Wha- Howard! What is it?” he asked, stumbling while trying to keep up with him.

“You've got to see this.” he said, pulling him down to the basement. They had put up a few televisions and with their combined intellect, managed to connect it to any and all channels in the world. Right now, however, the television showed angles of a country and Tony's insides froze. Howard stopped, letting him go before he sighed, running a hand through his hair. Tony knew Howard had returned a few days ago, but he looked like hell, literally.

“If I'd known they'd be using what I've helped them create, I don't think I'd ever said yes..”

“W-what? Howard..” Tony started, watching the screen.

“Is that... Japan?” he asked, dread deep in his voice. Howard grunted.

“Yeah.. the clock is a little past 8 in the morning there..” he said and Tony had to sit down.

“Oh God, they'll drop the bomb..” he muttered. Howard didn't even ask how he knew, because he had told him, but also because he knew Tony about this. Tony shook his head, covering half of his face with a hand.

“Little Boy will be.. dropped in a few minutes..” as Howard said that, a large, mushroom-sized smoke rose from the almost flat land and Tony gasped. He had never thought he'd actually be there to see it, at least not like this.

“All the fatalities..” Tony groaned. Howard looked at him, pain visible on his face.

“How many?” he asked.

“Five square miles destroyed within seconds.. they.. think about 80 000 people died instantly.. about 10- to 20 000 more died from injuries afterward.” Tony muttered. Howard fell down on a nearby chair, horror clear on his face.

“Oh God.. what have we done?”

* * *

 

As Tony had expected, the next, and luckily, the world's last atomic bomb used, hit Nagasaki three days later just after 11 am, instantly killing many thousands, just like Hiroshima. Tony had heard the news of the death number before Howard and when he told him, he watched Howard cry for the first time. It seemed it didn't matter that the soviet union had just declared war on Japan now, not now that they'd suffered this. Six days later, Japan surrendered, going neutral and pulling their forces out of Europe and Asia. Tony had grown up learning that the Japanese had stood their place till the bitter end, even after the Nazi's surrendered, but this, this was worse. They hadn't. Hitler was still alive, bitter as ever and for some reason, still holding on. Tony feared that war wouldn't end like he thought it would. If he had known, he might not have gone back to the army.

* * *

 

“Howard?” Tony asked, sitting up. The newspapers Howard was holding, rustled slightly.

“You should be resting.” Howard murmured behind the paper.

“I know, but I have a question.” Tony said. Howard looked up from the newspapers in front of him, nodding shortly. Tony pulled the sheets up to his chest, looking at his brother.

“What is it then?” Howard asked, putting down the newspaper. Tony rubbed his hands together.

“If war doesn't end this year like the President and most of the higher ups think, do you think.. they'll drop another atom bomb?” he asked. Howard stared at him for a long time before he let out a long sigh. He looked tired. Howard looked exhausted and rumpled most of the days, now his was nearly grayish, without a doubt from all the time he spent in the lab in the basement. Tony was there most of the time with him, not now of course, with him being sick and all. Howard dragged a hand down his face before he shook his head.

“I honestly don't know Tony.. I wish they wouldn't, so many innocent people suffer from it, but.. I can't say for sure..” Howard explained, giving him a tired smile. Tony gave one back before a cough racked through his body and then Howard was pushing him back onto the bed with firm, warm hands.

“You should rest.” he said.

“I'm fine, look, Howard, whatever happens, the war will still end, and the suffering..” Tony fell silent before he coughed again. Howard eyed him for a long second.

“Tony?” he asked.

“The war.. I thought it'd end by the Japanese surrendering, without them, Germany is loosing their ground quickly.. or so I thought..” he murmured. 

“Did it end like that in your world?” he asked and Tony couldn't stop the nod even if he wanted to.

“Yeah.. in 1945, the British had already run Germany back to their own country and the war.. it ended, Howard.. it's.. I shouldn't really.. tell..” he coughed again, his lungs hurt from the coughing. 

“I see, Tony, the chances of these worlds being the same, aren't all that big, at least not how I see it, if the war lasts longer here, it wont change the fact that we will stand our ground, fighting till it's over.. no matter what happens, the world wont be the same, for the better or the worse, very few follows Hitler anymore, we can't count on it, but I hope this will end before we hit 1950.” Howard said.

“I hope so..” Tony murmured before he got caught in a coughing fit. Howard sat down, face one big frown.

“There's barely a chance you will return to the battlefield Tony, this flu you have, it's bad, very bad.” and Tony grunted.

“I will return Howard, even if I have a place here, I need to be there, I need to be able to put my foot down, to show them that no matter much they run us down, we'll fight back.” the genius said, almost angrily so, but his brain was fogging up. Howard nodded.

“I'm sure Tony, now sleep.” he said sternly. Tony grumbled, but couldn't keep the shudder that ran up his spine and he gasped for breath. Today was the third day in bed and he didn't know if he was getting worse or not, he supposed he was since Howard was sitting with him several hours a day. He received letters from the Howlers every other day, most likely a reply from Howard telling them how he fared. And Bucky sending personal, secret letters disguised by Steve -damn good too, and Tony would send some back. It was so weird, and yet so amazing how they worked, even if they hadn't hit the last base yet, and that one time with the hand jobs was as far as they had gotten. They hadn't seen each other since April. That was six months ago. The cold of October rolling in on the city was nothing new, but times were scarce and every day police would find homeless frozen to death or someone who had passed out, drunk and never woken up. Howard smiled softly.

“Sleep, you need to rest Tony.” Tony squirmed.

“But-” he was cut of by a yawn, which abruptly ended in a cough.

“Sleep.” Howard murmured, it was the last Tony remember of that day.

* * *

 

Tony put the backpack down, looking about. There was a sense of familiarity by watching soldiers walking around. Even if it was 1946, February 23rd, in a boot camp. It was great to be back, even more so after that cold he had suffered last year. The doctor had almost banned him from returning to the army that time, but three weeks of the flu and he was up and going. As far as his weight went, he hadn't lost much, thanks to Jarvis' food and glared, as well as Howard's persistent pestering. He weighed about 185 lbs right now, and that was a good sign, but he still had a long way to go. Muscle and fat was built up just enough for the army to let him back in and Tony had happily applied for the same boot camp his team were. When he thought about it, most people his weight would never do anything army-related again, but he had a firm suspicion that Howard had something to do with it. A hand laced around his neck and his turned his head. Then he broke out in a grin.

“Bucky.” he said, smiling. Bucky smiled back, softer than he remembered him from the last visit.

“Hey, finally back huh?” he said. Tony was glad everyone around them thought this was the reunion of two army buddies and not a secret little relationship reunion. Tony turned as Bucky's arm fell of his shoulders. Bucky had aged well, for it being nearly a year since they'd last seen each other. He had a scar running up his chin on the left side, but it wasn't a bad thing to look at. As they said, a scar was a man's badge of honor, and if that was the case, then Tony was practically one big honor badge.

“What'd you expect? You think I'd quit that easily.. mind you, the luxury of Stark mansion is great and all, but damn I needed to get out of that place.. Howard said it was annoying how up the wall I was getting.” he explained, grinning from ear to ear. Bucky picked up his backpack before Tony could protest.

“What? Doing my friend a favor.” Bucky said cheerfully. Tony could see he was happy to see him. They hadn't seen each since that one week in April last year and Tony had been literally running up the wall from just that, so it was obvious Howard was tired of his constant nagging. Tony hadn't been much out of the mansion either, not that he could complain much, there was nothing to do out on the streets and he'd rather be in the lab, making things than being out there and eating air. Howard was going to come to the camp a month later than him, having to finish up some Stark Industries business in the US. Tony followed Bucky over to a nearby barrack, which seemed smaller than the rest and Tony frowned.

“Ah, you haven't heard have you, Howling Commando's got their own barrack now.” Bucky explained and Tony lit up.

“Well, that's a good thing, don't think it would be fun sharing with some random soldiers I don't know.” Tony agreed and Bucky laughed.

“Yeah, something like that.. by the way..” he stopped up before they entered.

“You and I share room.” he said and Tony gaped.

“What? Don't tell me they know?” he whispered, fully aware this would be back if they got caught. Bucky shook his head right away.

“No, it's just.. you know, nightmares..” Bucky gave a grimace. Tony snorted.

“Yeah, let the two with nightmares stay in one room, hey, at least one will wake the other right?” Tony said, shrugging. Bucky snickered and shook his head at him.

“At least no one will ask why we share then..” the man murmured, too low for anyone to hear, and the look Bucky gave him send chill down his spine and settled in his belly. Tony blushed and stammered.

“Y-you.. James!” he whined and Bucky laughed.

“Good to have you back though.” and Tony couldn't help but smile.

“Yeah, it's great to be back.” he agreed.

“Great, let's go inside, everyone still inside.” Bucky said and Tony nodded. Bucky walked up the short stairs first, Tony following. They entered a large room with a few desks, and beds, the typical army issue. The people there looked up and immediately their faces lit up.

“Well well, look who finally came back.” Dum-Dum said, chuckling. Tony grinned back.

“Oi, Rogers, his here.” Gabriel yelled across the room and Steve's head poked up from either under a bed or up from a suitcase, from the looks of it. Steve squinted his eyes for a second before he got up, smirk ready at his face. Tony raised an eyebrow at the wrinkles in Steve's clothes, but decided not to mention it just yet. Bucky passed Tony, eyes glinting with amusement and Tony faked a glare back at him, but continued to grin throughout the entire thing. Steve came over just then.

“Back to stir up some Nazi's then?” he asked, smirking widely. Tony snickered.

“When am I not?” he fired back and Steve's smirk morphed into a wide grin.

“Good, could use your skills.” Steve said and Tony rolled his eyes.

“What skills? If you mean the patching up-skills I'm really qualified, and God knows what the higher-ups will think when they get their hands on me.” Tony said. Steve just grinned.

“What they don't know wont hurt'em.” Steve simply said and Tony could help but gape.

“Fine.. fine.” he said, while laughing his way through it. Bucky walked towards the door down the room and waved at Tony.

“We've got the best room in the camp you know.” he said. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“There's no room that's better than the other in boot camp, that's the horrible part of it.” he said, cracking his neck. He already missed his warm, soft, king sized bed at home, but he guessed he could go without in the time that the war was going on. Tony looked around at the room the Howling Commando's had been using the time he hadn't been here.

“Looks cozy..” he murmured, shrugging.

“Compared to the mansion you usually stay in or the room you and Barnes' gonna share?” Jim asked and the rest chuckled in their own way. Tony halfheartedly glared at them all.

“I was going to say the latter, but if I'll be honest, my room alone in the mansion is bigger than this so..” he grinned at them when they all glared back.

“Yes, we know.. we've been there.” Montgomery said, eyes shining with true amusement. Tony chuckled and moved past them, heading for the room he'd share with Bucky. Said man was waiting for him on the doorstep. Upon entering, Tony found a modest, small room with two beds, one top of the other, two desks and two small lockers for their clothes. When he turned towards the beds, he noticed Bucky was smirking.

“I have the bottom one, and I know you don't trash that much in your sleep so.” Bucky flushed gently at that, so did Tony, but he smirked, trying to ignore the images swirling around in his head. Then he shrugged, walked over to the desks and stared out of the window. They had the forest right in front of them.

“And that suitcase sent ahead of you..” Bucky began, so Tony turned, nodding.

“It's under my bed, so if any Nazi's sneak in, you have all the clears to go crazy on them.” Tony smirked back.

“Great, but.. let's not jinx ourselves and believe that Nazi's wont be stupid enough to do that again.” Tony said. Bucky chuckled.

“Hey, we need you out here.” Jim called from the doorway and the two turned.

“Yup, coming.” Bucky called. Tony moved towards the half closed door when Bucky's hands caught on his arm and pulled him behind the door. If the genius had expected it, he didn't let it on, he hid the gasp he let out when Bucky kissed him. Tony grabbed him by his biceps and pushed back against him, just enough before they parted. Then the now a tiny bit taller soldier leaned against him, lips brushing against his ear and Tony shuddered.

“I've missed you.. a lot..” he murmured. Tony grinned.

“I missed you too, but..” he motioned for the door. Bucky nodded, straightened his clothes and left, but not before he gave a wink at Tony, a blush covering his face. Tony blushed deeply before he groaned softly, pressing both hands to his face.

“Oh God..” he groaned. Tony had no idea Bucky could make him feel so happy. A year ago he was in France, in a concentration camp, for him to already have someone by his side like this, it was strange, good, but still strange. He straightened himself and grabbed the doorknob before exiting, pretending he hadn't just had a tiny make-out session with Bucky. The rest was all sitting on chair in a circle, with a table in the middle and Tony found one vacant between Steve and Bucky and Tony couldn't help but grin as he sat down.

“So, what's up?” he asked. Dum-Dum chuckled.

“Depends on what's up for you.” and Tony flushed.

“Ah shut it, not funny.” he was smiling despite himself, just like the rest who was snickering. Steve coughed and everyone fell silent.

“We've got a big mission this time.. we're talking infiltration.” he said, slapping a massive amount of paper on the table in between them. Tony frowned.

“Infiltration, is that even necessary, the Nazi's are quivering in their boots and Hitler is going crazy in his hiding place.” he said. Steve nodded slowly, before he frowned deeply, an expression Tony wasn't all to familiar with, but was coming to know it now.

“It wouldn't be, if the country wasn't so damn into their boots as they are, the Nazi's has refused to leave.” Steve said.

“Which country is it?” Tony asked.

“Norway.” and Tony almost cursed. He'd heard. It was one of the most occupant countries, one that had stayed neutral, but Germany had invaded them at the beginning of the war anyway. They had a strategic place in the war with it's long coasts. Tony sighed.

“They're pretty deep in it yeah..” he murmured.

“Yes, there is, however, still Norwegian rebellions within the country.. there are those on the outside as well, even US soldiers within the country, but we're talking fifty against one thousand in measurement and it's hard to know how or when to strike unless we're on the inside.” Steve explained as the rest grabbed some of the papers on the table, so Tony did too, and gaped.

“Are you kidding me?” the rest looked at him.

“Are we really going there? That's one of the biggest fortresses in Norway, we'll be settling down right in the middle of an beehive!” Tony said. Steve didn't glare at him, but his eyes was still stern. Probably because Steve knew how Tony took real glares and how he'd flinch and pull back if he got one sent his way.

“Yes, I am very aware, everyone is, but that's why we need to go there, there's this big forest they've built the entire thing on, that of course, means that anyone not used to a forest, can't do much..” Steve said and Tony suddenly started to see sense.

“And we're used to walking in terrain, we're not just talking about infiltration and breaking down their fortress, we're talking full on attack.” Tony said. Steve nodded, now smirking.

“Yeah, that's that plan, you remember those plans you and Howard were working on?” he asked.

“Mhm, the house that's supposed to look small, enough for three and has a secret basement, secret exits and all? Yeah, the main components to the house is finished and it was ready to be built.. four months ago I think.” Tony answered, then he smirked.

“Well, good thing we started so early, Norwegian soil isn't exactly just soil and soft mass, the Earth it stands on is basically a couple of inches soil and then kilometers of mountain rock.. Norway is sturdy that way, there's no Earthquakes, no tornadoes, nothing of that sort, they can suffer a lot of flooding around spring and early summer and the winters are harsh and goes from October till April, but it's otherwise a safe place, it's also got a lot of sea around it, easily giving the German's a lot to work on.” Tony explained.

“We've sent in workers undercover for five months now, the house is nearly complete, by the time it is, the German's will think it's just another house for another family, that's were we come in.” he said. Tony frowned.

“How? That house is made to look like a small family lives there, not.. an entire group of grown men.” Tony asked, staring at the blonde.

“Most of us will live in the basement.. there are.. two secret exits aren't there?” Steve asked back.

“Yeah, one is supposed to lead to a hollow three about.. twenty yards away, the other leads up into the forest so neither will draw any attention to the house, and if the German's find it, there's a closing system that will shut just in front of the tunnel, making it look like a hiding place, not a secret passage, that goes for both.” Tony said, nodding.

“You, Bucky and Frenchie will be upstairs.. the rest of us hiding.” Steve said. Tony frowned.

“Okay, so the brunette's play family.. wait, what about a female? The chance of a all male-family in this day and age-” he stopped when Steve shook his head.

“We're getting that done, there wont be any female, it's more like.. the wife died at the last child-birth or something..” he waved a hand. Tony nodded slowly, before he rubbed a hand against his goatee.

“Norwegian is pretty close to Japanese, so learning it should be a problem for me I hope.” Tony said. Steve nodded.

“Frenchie doesn't speak anything but French, so Jones will help you out between French and Norwegian, Bucky, well, I'll leave him to you.” and Steve smirked in that way that had Tony wanting to groan and smack him across the head for being so obvious. Bucky nodded stiffly, eyes telling the same tale of how he wanted to hit Steve. Tony grunted.

“Fine, we'll start, by the way, have you finished learning German?” he asked.

“Yeah, since you went home I had to learn it from someone else.” Steve smirked.

“Good.” he stood up then.

“We should probably get started then.” he said.

“Yeah.” they all agreed.

* * *

 

Nothing was like the fresh air of the countryside. At least, in a place were there were no war and nothing polluting the air. Tony was sitting on a small balcony, the sun warming his face and he couldn't help but smile. He'd let his goatee grow out more, so it didn't look like a goatee anymore. No one complained though, and Bucky certainly didn't. There was the military planes flying over their heads several times a day, but other than that, it was silent, frighteningly so. There were the occasional farm or house out here too, but not that many. The Nazi's didn't use this road so often so passing’s of that, was rare. The Norwegian people had welcomed them warmly, even though they were suspicious at first. It took them no more than a few weeks to realize a couple of rebels was hiding out here. They too, lend their basement for rebels from time to time. It was August 3rd and while that meant that winter was coming in, the weather was perfect. Høybakken in Sør-Trøndelag county was a perfect place to live in this season. They got the early sun and it lasted till well past 7 in the evening, and they had everything from mountains going down into large fields, which lead right down to the water, which was a part of the Trondheimsfjord, an inlet of the Norwegian sea. This wasn't much of a place, just a small town that was in the municipality Stjørna. It had a tiny store, a church and a small school and a good amount of houses and farms, but nothing more.

“Hey, how's the sun?” Bucky came out from the open door on the balcony and came over, sitting down beside him.

“Mm, delicious, not as warm as that in Miami, but God, it's good.” Tony answered, taking the beer Bucky handed him, which was a rare thing, they rationed out what they had, but an occasional beer couldn't hurt, or that's what Bucky said. They'd been in Norway three months now, and the days wasn't always like this, there was usually a week with sunny weather, then it'd get cloudy, maybe rain for a month and it was really windy, but none of the people here seemed to care the slightest about the wind. Dum-Dum had said it was because they were so windy themselves, a joke none of them got until Tony tried saying it on Norwegian and he, Bucky and Frenchie had nearly laughed themselves to death. Bucky chuckled, mouth pressed to his beer and Tony couldn't help but stare, though he caught himself eventually, but knew Bucky had noticed by the grin on his face.

“That's great, Frenchie is out getting some food.” he answered and Tony nodded.

“The rest still out getting the shipment?” he asked and Bucky nodded.

“Yeah, there seem to be something wrong going on at the airbase in Brekstad so they're getting the shipments sent in while the Germans try to figure out what's wrong.” Bucky said, snickering.

“I don't feel the slightest sorry for them.” Tony said. Both knew it was the Germans they were talking about. They usually stayed on the airbase that had been built or they'd be in their barracks. If one were in bird view, you'd see the large towers sprouting from the forest that used to be a large park belonging to Austrått manor. There was at least five or six lookout towers in the forest. At night, the Howlers walked the nearly 9 km on foot a few times a week. They'd rush into the forest and silent take down any Nazi's, which they hid in the swamps on the grounds and noted down their position on a map. It frustrated the German's, but they couldn't catch the Howling Commando's however they tried, they were just too good. Other times they walked up to Grønnvollen, which was the opposite way and were the US usually sent the rations for their group. It was a mere 3 kilometers walk, 1 in which was without road.

“Who does? If it wasn't for the fort, they would be without ground.” Bucky said.

“They haven't even fired the thing, if I'm not wrong, and usually I'm not, the canon was damaged before it got here.. who needs to have a triple naval gun here anyway? No ships getting into this fjord anyway.” Tony scoffed, sipping from the beer. As of right now, it was very silent. There wasn't anyone out on the fields as of yet. A few stray cats ran about and the birds was annoying as hell, but otherwise, nothing.

“At least the German's haven't realized we know yet then.” Bucky said and Tony chuckled.

“They can still fire it, they just haven't and I think they know, considering it was the British who did it, and if the British know, we know.” he said, grinning.

“Yeah, you're right.” he answered, just as a boy around eight and his little sister about four passed by. There wasn't that many kids in this place, but enough and Tony knew these two, they lived on the farm just down the road. The boy stopped up and waved up at them, smiling cheerfully, so the girl did so too. Young thing looked so frightened. Bucky sighed to himself.

“Do you ever wonder about it?” he suddenly asked as the kids walked off. Tony turned to him.

“Wonder about what?” he asked back.

“About having kids of your own.” Bucky said. Tony stared at him before he sighed too.

“Well, from time to time, I doubt I'd be a good father, but I don't think I'll ever get a kid of my own.. doubt I'd be able to handle the stress.” he snorted at himself. Bucky eyed him.

“But if you could?” he asked. Tony shrugged.

“I guess I would.. I honestly don't know, it's.. it's not something I've thought over much about, it's always been, just me and besides, even if I don't get any kids, there's always Howard doing the work.” he gave some amused snorts at that.

“Howard? When? He's gotta find a dame for that.” Bucky snickered as a tractor passed. Tony eyed the vehicle warily before he turned back to Bucky, a grin firmly on his face.

“Oh, I have an idea where, just gotta end the war or else he wont leave the house.. he's even worse at socials than me.” Tony gave another snort. If anything, they really fit. Howard was so anti-social it reminded him of those types that was sitting on internet all the time, refusing to go outside because, well, because there was actual, living human beings out there. He couldn't remember what they're called, but he guessed somewhere along fanboys and fangirls. Bucky shook his head, chuckling.

“Someone's gotta be that too right?” he gave Tony another wink and he blushed.

“Oh stop that..” he muttered, pouting. Bucky grinned.

“You think I ever will?” he asked back and Tony groaned. As their relationship evolved, Bucky had grown more and more comfortable with little winks and touches, and while Tony had long since grown used to it, he still felt like some embarrassed teenage girl hiding from her parents. They fell into a silence that lasted about five minutes and was broken when the loud snap of their hidden door to the basement opened. They both turned and sprinted into the living room to see Gabriel's wide eyes and in full out panic.

“Quick!” he said and the two didn't even glance at each other before they climbed down the latter. They entered the room the Howlers shared and saw Dum-Dum and Montgomery dragging Jim into the room, behind him, Steve came, the blonde was a little bloody, but looked otherwise fine. It was Jim that didn't fare so well. Tony rushed forward when he saw the horrid wound across Jim's stomach and the soldier gasped out a string of low curses, pain flickering across his face.

“Onto the bed, quick! Bucky, get me the first aid kit!” Tony yelled. The men laid the soldier down on the bed while Tony reached out, tearing his shirt open to asses the wound as Bucky went for the box. Tony could see splinters of wood digging into the wound and something that looked scarily like several bullets. That was how open and deep the wound was. It stretched from his side to way over his bellybutton.

“Oh God..” he muttered before he looked up at Jim, who gurgled something.

“Sh, okay, hurry, I need help here, this is really bad.. like, really, really bad.” he said loudly as the Howlers moved out of the way for Bucky, who rushed over. Jim's hand flew out, grabbed Tony's hand as the man moved to tear the last of his shirt of.

“What?” he asked, looking up at the man. It was like time slowed as a tiny smile moved across the Japanese-American man before he closed his eyes and went limp. There was a long minute of silence before Tony sighed loudly, sitting back, but not pulling his hand away from Jim's limp one. Bucky's hand landed on his shoulder, grasping tightly.

“Did he..” Montgomery didn't even finish the question. They knew either way. They stayed silent for a good ten minutes before Tony stood up, moving away from the bed.

“What happened?” he asked, slower than usual.

“We were surprised by Nazi's.. they got a few good shots at Morita.. but we didn't think it was this bad until he couldn't walk further and we had to drag him back, we had just left Grønvollen when it happened.” Steve said. He was sitting on a chair in the room, one arm resting on the table, his hand was used to rest his chin in, but from time to time, he lifted his head slightly and rubbed his face with his hand.

“Frenchie is out?” Montgomery asked.

“Yeah.. out getting food, okay, did the.. German's follow you?” Tony asked.

“We lost them before we reached Liagardan, after that we kinda ran the rest of the way.” Dum-Dum said. Tony nodded slowly.

“Well, you got back here at least, I think we can get him buried in the church's graveyard.” Tony said, sighing softly. Bucky nodded.

“I'll go talk with the priest.” he said. No one actually knew this, except for the Norwegian rebels and them that the priest in the Heggvik church was just another one who didn't like the Germans and often helped out anyone who was against them, which also included graves for those fallen in war. Bucky got up and walked over to the ladder.

“I'll tell Frenchie when I meet him and tell him to hurry back okay?” he said. Steve nodded.

“Yeah.” and then Bucky climbed up, leaving quickly.

“I guess we'll just have to move him for now.. if the blood soaks to much I wont be able to get it out..” Tony said, but they didn't move right away. Tony stared at the man in the bed.

“It's how it goes I guess.. it's sad though..” they all nodded at him.

“In honor of Jim then.” he stated and this time, they got up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was awful doing research on your own hometown.. or, well, home-county, but I managed I guess.. though I knew most of it already.. and searching it in English sucks, it's got about 1/7 of all the information compared to being written in Norwegian, whereas Høybakken's info-page was all there, but didn't exist in Norwegian (fail Norway, fail..)
> 
> I don't regret Jim's death by the way.. compared to the death I've planned, that was a nice one..


	16. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Tony decides to move past first base, however it will take him there, he will get further into his relationship with Bucky.
> 
> And is seems the Howlers have been noticing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, sorry for the late update.. this chapter was being a b*tch, literally.. I kinda got stuck in the first part, then Tumblr went into protesting-war and I've just been sitting here, unable to update from the lack of motivation while I hiss and growl at the screen because the governments in different parts of the world..
> 
> And yay! Porn! :D  
> Warning: (do you even need that?) explicit porn, smutty sex between my cute OTP

 

Tony sat by the window in the most comfortable armchair that they had, staring out at the small field below the road from the house. As of right now, there was nothing out of the ordinary, if, you were a Norwegian that is. The clouds was gray, threatening to let down more snow than there already was and Tony was really glad they'd fired up the fireplace, nothing like a warm living room. Everyone but him and Bucky was out on a mission. Well, not really a mission. They'd gone out to pick up a shipment that was coming in later tonight. They had to leave early because so much snow had fallen. That left Tony to stare out of the window at the pale white landscape while Bucky went to listen in on the German's on the wired radio. It wasn't the same the one they had in the living room. While both gave them news from around the world, the basement one was equipped to overhear any and all warfare messages sent by the enemies without being spotted. Tony sighed and got up, before he rolled up his sleeves. The Howlers wasn't supposed to be back before tomorrow evening, and while that meant less food to make, it also meant they could eat whenever they could, and Tony, for a change, was getting hungry. He turned, stared at the hole in the floor. It was early October now and the promise of a white winter was getting good, and while that was a pretty thing to look at, it also meant there would be less food. There was a gentle thud from the basement before Bucky appeared out of the hatch. He got up and pulled the switch which closed the hatch, a creation of the best, Tony and Howard created it for hiding their secrets after all.

“Anything new?” he asked. Bucky shrugged.

“Not really.. new shipment coming in, but it's heading for Trondheim, not out here..” Bucky said.

“Ah.. oh well, hey, I thought about making dinner.” Tony suggested. Bucky blinked several times before he nodded, smiling. It was something only Bucky could do, but every time he smiled or generally looked his way, Tony felt warmer, better, more whole somehow.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Bucky said. Tony grinned.

“Okay, yeah, I'll start right away..” he turned and headed into the kitchen, but stopped the moment he passed the threshold. Tony turned, staring at Bucky, who was pulling off the jumper he was wearing. It went without saying it was hot in the living room now that the fireplace was as hot as any day. The muscles of his torso easily showed through the tee he was wearing underneath and the dog tags clinked against each other. Tony licked his lips. Bucky had that effect on him and Tony was getting ready to jump him by now. They hadn't done anything since that one time over a year ago except a few secret moments sharing kisses, Bucky was ever so patient for him. Tony looked down, lifting a hand to press against the arc reactor. If they knew, about him, about the arc reactor and about his two hearts that for some strange reason, healed themselves, what would they say? No one knew about his hearts, Howard and Steve knew about his past, but otherwise he'd managed to keep the secret pretty good. Well, as long as he didn't blurt it out, he should be fine. Tony took a deep breath before he walked back into the living room. Bucky was still standing with his back to him and Tony could see the muscles ripple through his back as he moved to meet him, obviously having noticed him.

“Tony?” he asked, confusion in his eyes. Tony laced both arms around Bucky's waist, watching as the soldier turned a dark scarlet. This was one of those stolen moments they would have. Bucky's eyes was deep shade of blue, pupils blown wide suddenly. Tony licked his lips and Bucky's eyes flickered down for a second, then back up.

“James..” Tony murmured and not even a second later, Bucky was kissing him, arms wrapped tightly around him as he returned the kiss with enthusiasm. It grew heated so quickly Tony felt dizzy, but it was a good sort of dizzy. Then, as sudden as Bucky had kissed him, he pulled away.

“S-sorry.. I really can't control myself..” Bucky muttered against his lips, ready top pull away. Tony squirmed and glared up at him, keeping him in place.

“And if I say I wanted it?” he asked. Bucky's eyes widened, and yet the color in them darkened dangerously. Tony pulled both hands up to rest them against Bucky's cheeks.

“Look, even if it isn't the 'right' time, this is damn well a rare opportunity, we should take it.” Tony murmured, before he pushed his lips against Bucky's, waiting, hoping for response. It didn't even take Bucky a second to comply. Suddenly Tony found himself being pushed backwards, into the hallway and towards his room. Tony groaned against his lips, carding his fingers through Bucky's brown hair, unruly as it ever was. One of Bucky's hands dipped to the small of his back, pressing.

“James, please..” Tony uttered as they for a moment, parted for air.

“I never thought I could get so turned on by hearing someone say my name..” Bucky groaned against his lips and Tony smirked, one hand releasing Bucky to fumble with the doorknob to his room. Eventually he managed to open it, even with his back to it and they stumbled into the modest, small room. The bed wasn't big enough for two grown men to sleep side by side, but if they saw it fit, Tony had a few ideas, which included spooning. Bucky's other hand shut the door rather loudly. The curtains were, luckily already closed as Bucky's hands tore at his shirt, trying to open it. Tony groaned and pushed at Bucky until he moved away.

“I'll strip, just get out of yours.” he said, but he knew Bucky could see he was nervous. It wasn't that he was nervous about having sex, it was his body he was uncomfortable with. It had always had it's scars and whatnot, but now, this him in this time, was covered in scars and burn-scars. If anything, he was nowhere handsome. Bucky however, didn't strip completely, let his pants and underwear stay on for now before he reached out. The dog tags swayed back and forth on his chest, and Tony eyed them for a second.

“It's okay, it's fine, you're beautiful Tony.. the scars aren't ugly and neither are you.” Bucky's voice was calm, soothing and warm. Tony bit his bottom lip, frowning lightly before he nodded, slowly reaching up to unbutton his shirt, working it off his shoulders. Bucky's eyes followed his clothes. Not even once did Bucky's eyes leave him, nor did he flinch whenever a news scar was revealed. When the arc reactor was revealed, he didn't even blink, his hands just barely a ghost above the slightly warm metal before they touched the dog tags Tony wore, but he had to stop himself from flinching away from Bucky though.

“It's a part of you right? I don't think it's ugly.” Bucky said, stubbornly so.

“I.. yeah.. I guess..” Tony murmured back at him. Tony let the shirt fall, catching just barely at his pointy elbows before it fell to the floor. Tony was well aware that he was still thin, just on the point of unhealthy slim, but at least he was getting better. He worked on his pants, Bucky's hands there to help him out. As he unbuttoned his pants, Bucky worked them down his hips, before long, they pooled at the floor, around his ankles. Tony flushed, but stepped out of them nevertheless, Bucky's hands there, calming and steadying him. The moment he did however, Bucky pulled him flush close and making their dog tags clink and tangle, then he was kissing him, but not like those they shared just minutes ago, these were just small pecks, almost as if he was caressing every part of Tony's face like he was worshiping him. Tony swallowed audible before he lifted his hands, putting one on each side of Bucky's waist.

“James..” Tony murmured. He had thought, a few years back, that it would probably sound weird when he used Bucky's real name, but it didn't, it rolled of his tongue like it was meant to be and he couldn't help but want to say it more. These moments was also the only times Tony used his real name. Bucky wet his lips before pressing them to his. It was nothing like the gentle pecks from earlier, this was rough, bordering to harsh, it was wet and so hot Tony groaned dazedly. Bucky's hands went from Tony's body and down to his own pants and Tony reached down too, pulling at the zipper and easily pulling it down. They stayed connected mouth by mouth throughout the entire thing. As soon as Bucky's pants hit the floor, his hands flew up, grabbing Tony by his waist and walked into him, eventually forcing him to step back.

“Oh God, I want this.. tell me it's okay, tell me I can.” Bucky sounded like he was damn near sobbing, and it took a while for Tony to realize what he was talking about, then he realized it and sighed softly, worshiping Bucky's chest with his hands, tangling the dog tags with the soldier's name on with a finger.

“Yes, God yes.” he answered, maybe louder than Bucky, but he wasn't complaining.

“Tony..” was all Bucky said before he slammed his lips against his again, clinking their teeth together, but neither stepped back. It was hot, and it was messy and Tony felt all the tension drain away. He was still nervous, scared even, but Bucky wasn't like the guards, he was an US army soldier, he was his best friend and comrade. And most importantly, he was his lover. That was a big difference. What Tony hadn't expected however, was how Bucky nearly picked him up to place him on the bed, but Tony stopped him before he crawled on top. The dog tags swayed, hanging from Bucky's neck and Tony had to stop himself from grabbing them and pulling him down for another kiss.

“James, vaseline, or something..” Tony said. Bucky frowned.

“Why?” he asked, seemingly confused. Tony flushed.

“Cuz I want you to fuck me.. and I'm not a woman, it's gonna hurt if we don't use something for.. lube.” Tony said, maybe a tad too briskly, but it worked. Bucky stared wide-eyed at him and blushed madly, but nodded anyway. Then he turned more serious.

“In the first aid kit right?” Bucky asked as he seemingly fought the blush down. Tony nodded.

“Yeah.. bottom I think..” Tony said. Bucky left the room and was gone less than two minutes. When he returned, he held a small, golden box, which he handed to Tony. The genius watched as Bucky fumbled about, fidgeting and blushing lightly.

“Oh come here.” he grabbed his arm and pulled him down on top of him, startling the younger soldier. Bucky's hands found Tony's hips before he brushed across the stretch of his underwear. Tony had always hated the white, plain underwear, but he had come to just ignore it and eventually grew to like it, but just a tiny bit. Bucky's left hand brushed down and Tony groaned as he pressed softly against his very hard cock. Bucky looked down as he pulled at Tony's underwear and the sergeant complied by lifting his hips, letting the younger man pull it off. While Bucky rid himself of his own underwear Tony opened the vaseline and stuck two fingers into the sticky substance. It wasn't quite what he'd prefer, but in this day and age, the likeliness of getting lube was slim to none, he didn't even know if it existed yet. He noticed Bucky's eyes was on his fingers and flushed.

“Uh.. since this is the first time..” he said. Bucky nodded quickly.

“Of course.” he mumbled.

“But hey, do me a favor and sit between my legs will you?” Tony winked at him.

“Wha- yeah.. fine..” Bucky was still blushing. Tony moved his legs as much as he could in the bed and Bucky settled between, hands resting on Tony's thigh's. Tony knew how this went, he was still very consciously aware of himself as he reached down between his own thigh's, just gently rubbing at first. The puckered skin twitched beneath his fingers and he bit his bottom lip as he stuck one finger in. Bucky's hands stroked down to his legs before he grabbed the back his knees, lifting both his legs up in the air, ultimately spreading them apart. Tony gulped, but continued to push his own finger in and out of himself until he deemed the muscles lax enough to push a second finger in. And Tony groaned.

“Fuck.. this is so hot.. shouldn't be, but oh God..” Bucky groaned above him.

“Good.. cuz it's embarrassing..” Tony muttered, closing his eyes tightly. He opened them again when he felt his legs pushed further towards his torso and more of him was revealed. Bucky's dog tags was barely a few inches from his own chest. Tony blinked with his eyes a few times, then he smiled slightly, twitching when his fingers caught inside himself.

“Hey..” Tony murmured and Bucky smiled.

“Hey there.” he whispered, leaned down and catching his lips with his. Tony whined, squirming. Bucky's right hand moved from his leg to where Tony's fingers was stuck deep in and pushed ever so gently. Tony's eyes widened, a moan erupting from his throat, only to be swallowed by Bucky, who soon after, pulled away, eyes gleaming in lust. Tony continued to stretch himself, but tried to avoid any further pleasure like that last one. It would do him no good if he came now, and considering how long it'd been since the last time, this was going to be quick. Tony pulled his hand away, then he grabbed the vaseline again, this time, lathering up his hands before he reached for Bucky's cock. Tony wrapped the hand around Bucky's cock then, stroking up and down and making sure the vaseline got everywhere. Bucky was twitching above him, eyes closed and face contorted in pleasure, and he was biting his bottom lip.

“James..” Tony murmured and Bucky opened his eyes. Tony let go of Bucky's cock and pulls his hand away, grasping the sheets beneath his hands tightly. Bucky's face is openly expression his emotions at the moment and it's making Tony run hot, hotter than his ever felt. Then the soldier's hands was on his thigh's, spreading him far more than he thought possible and Tony did nothing but moan the sergeants name.

“God.. Tony.” Bucky grunted, shuffling closer and in that moment, Tony tensed, feeling his heavy cock against his hole. Tony grimaced up at Bucky.

“A bit scary though..” he murmured, but Bucky smiled and leaned down, resting his forehead against his. Not quite something Tony expected, but it calmed his hearts. Then Bucky moved his chin, kissing his softly while his hands was rubbing his thigh's, spreading warmth through his body and he relaxed.

“I'll be gentle, I wont hurt you, promise.” Bucky whispered as he pulled away. Tony nodded, pressing his lips together. The first press of Bucky's cock made Tony hiss, but he kept himself as lax as possible as Bucky pressed into him, groaning loudly. Vaseline really wasn't the best thing after all, but Tony didn't know what else could have made it go easier. The deeper Bucky went, the more it burned, but eventually, the tension in his muscles lessened and he relaxed, thus giving a leeway from the pain. Carefully, Tony released the sheets to raise his hands so he could grab onto Bucky's shoulders, curling his toes when the pain bled away until nothing but the fullness was left behind. Of course, it still stung a bit, but Tony was sure he could handle that.

“You okay?” Bucky asked above him, grasping for breath is short, hurried gasps and watching him with hooded eyes. Tony took a deep breath, having realized he had been holding it, then he nodded slowly.

“Y-yeah.. I'm fine..” he managed, shuddering when Bucky's hands stroked down the skin of his thigh's, giving him goosebumps. Then he slowly pulled back before pressing back in. Tony was caught in the moment as dull pain and very little pleasure rolled up his spine, and closed his eyes to hold it off somehow, but he arched anyway, making it easier and better for both. The next move was more close to a thrust than a pull and push. Bucky grit his teeth, moving a tiny bit faster. The slide was getting easier and Tony could feel the catch of Bucky's cock on his prostate. Then Bucky moved faster and Tony's eyes sprung open, his back arched and he moaned loudly, hands scrambling to hold onto Bucky's shoulders.

“S-shit.. Bu- James!” Tony almost cried out as Bucky picked up speed.

“Fuck.. tight..” Bucky grunted above him, hips moving forward sharply to thrust into Tony.

“Oh fuck- James, it's.. good.. oh God..” Tony had never been overly vocal when having sex, but it was like a dam that just opened. Bucky leaned down, easily pushing his tongue into his mouth. Tony was becoming delirious by the second, he was getting the hottest, wettest kiss of his life and all the same, being fucked within an inch of his life. Bucky grunted against him before he pulled away, but just barely so.

“It's so good, Tony, shit!” Bucky groaned and Tony cried at when his thrust hit his prostate again.

“I'm.. James.. I can't.. it's too much..” Tony whimpered, yet sought more by rolling his hips to get more of that sweet pleasure he hadn't felt since he was still in his own world. Bucky grunted, moving his head to bite down at the crock of Tony's neck. That did it for Tony, who cried out, coming hard. The orgasms whitened out his vision and when he came to, Bucky was still fucking him, but by how tense his shoulders were, it was clear he was close. Tony whimpered from the oversensitivity, hips twitching. Suddenly Bucky froze before he moaned Tony's name. A couple of seconds later, Bucky's face came down to rest against his chest, right under the arc reactor.

“Fuck.. James.” Tony gasped out, wincing when Bucky pulled away. Bucky placed a hand against Tony's cheek, and the genius blinked up at him, eyes tired, but sated.

“Hm?” he hummed. Bucky smiled and leaned down, kissing him gently.

“I love you Tony.” Bucky murmured afterward and Tony smiled brightly.

“I love you too James.”

* * *

 

The fire was crackling softly in the fireplace as Tony yawned, putting down the book he'd been reading. It wasn't something like physics or even remotely close to anything he'd usually read. It was Sherlock Holmes, and while Tony had never had much interest for the detective or the crimes, it was quite entertaining to read the books, narrated by Holmes' close friend John Watson, as seen through his eyes. He had to give credit to Doyle for writing the novels in such an interesting and thrilling way. Bucky looked up from were he sat by the fireplace, holding a knife. Frenchie was in bed at the moment, having retired early. The rest was in the basement, as they did most of the time out of fear for the German's. In the past month, the regular checks by German's had gone up from 2 to 4 times each month, and it annoyed Tony quite a bit.

“Stark.” Tony turned to see Steve peeking out of the hatch. Bucky too was watching him now.

“What's up Rogers?” he asked back, settling back into his chair. He'd gotten overly tense when the blonde had appeared.

“There's an US ship coming into the fjord next week, the German's are planning to bomb it.” that got Tony out of his chair within a millisecond.

“Fuck, that's bad, have you relayed the message to America?” he asked. Tony and Bucky quickly climbed down into the basement, joining the rest. Steve nodded quickly, but he still seemed overly tense.

“Stark, they're going to fire the navel guns.” Steve said and Tony cursed in all the languages he knew.

“That is bad, very very bad.. while it wasn't too damaged during the attack by the British, it's still capable of doing some heavy damage, we'll have to somehow disarm the German's on that day.. are the US still planning to come?” he asked. Steve nodded and Tony frowned.

“Shit, that's not what you'd do in war.. can't they at least delay it? No, come a day earlier, it'll catch them off guard, coming later will mean they'll still be waiting and ready, even if we get up to the canon, there's no way of knowing if we can completely stop them..” Tony said, shrugging. Dum-Dum grabbed the map on one of the drawers and spread it out on the table. It was a map of Austrått, but more detailed than what the German's had. It had a small, blue cross on every place a German soldier they'd killed was buried. Tony eyed the map, knowing fully well that he wasn't the only one that was frowning.

“We can try, it's hard knowing if they'll listen to us, even if they do, we have to somehow get up to the canon and shut it down.” Montgomery said. Tony turned to Bucky, who tilted his head slightly.

“Isn't there a path in that they don't guard so well?” Tony asked. Bucky nodded slowly.

“There's a small path from the forest below, barely visible, but still there, and there's usually no more than two guards there, the German's in the towers can't see the path from their watchtowers.” Bucky explained. Steve thrummed his fingers against the table before he turned to Montgomery.

“Contact the Navy and make sure they know.” he said and Montgomery nodded before Steve turned to Bucky, who straightened a bit.

“We'll need you out when we're going, if anyone is familiar with the forest, it's you and Stark.” Steve stated. Bucky glanced at Tony, but gave his affirmative either way. Tony took a deep breath before he turned towards the hatch.

“I'll tell Frenchie tomorrow, when he wakes up, for now, we'll focus of getting in contact with America.” he said. If they were lucky, they'd avoid loosing a Navy ship they'd probably need on later interventions. Tony got up, shortly followed by Bucky and the two closed the hatch, heading for bed. Tony turned of the lights and locked windows as he went. Bucky stopped him before he reached the door to his bedroom. The brunette was smiling almost shyly and Tony smiled back.

“Uh.. good night then..” he said. Tony snickered, leaned in and giving the man a peck on his lips. Bucky made a non-comical noise, eyes darkening, but he didn't do anything more.

“Good night James..” Tony murmured, amused by how Bucky flushed. Sometimes Tony couldn't fathom how Bucky could still look so innocent when it was he who topped the few times they got together for a moment.

* * *

 

Two weeks later, after dealing with the German's and making sure the Navy wasn't hurt; they'd decided to come a day earlier and with the help of the Howling Commando's, gotten right past the German canon and delivered a massive attack on Trondheim. Right now, the weather was gray, all the snow was gone, leaving a wet, gray and brown world. Tony crinkled his nose as he passed the windows. It had been raining for days, the hope of snow for Christmas was slowly dying. It was one of those rare days everyone was gathered in the living room instead of down in the basement, not that Tony complained, he liked it up in the warm rooms rather than the very often clammy basement. Tony sat down in his armchair again, glancing over at Bucky, while sipping from the coffee. Bucky too, had coffee, but wasn't drinking it. Frenchie, Dum-Dum and Montgomery shared the couch and Steve had the other armchair while Gabriel had snagged a chair from the kitchen to sit on. Bucky caught his glance and gave a small smile, which Tony returned as the brunette grabbed his coffee, bringing it to his lips to drink.

“So, when are you going to tell us what's going on between you?” Steve sounded awfully casual, despite the subject. Tony froze in his chair, watching as Bucky gave a mighty snort, spitting coffee over a meters radius of himself. Tony didn't laugh though, he was far to tense and absolutely horrified that Steve had brought it up like he had known all along, and of course he had, damn bastard was smug about it too. Tony quietly regretted letting Howard and Steve's little plan back in the mansion work. Bucky on the other hand, blushing madly while wiping his lips from the warm coffee.

“W-what?” he asked, eyes flying between the Howlers. Dum-Dum groaned.

“It's so obvious a blind man could see it..” he said, chuckling deeply.

“Dum-Dum's right, you two aren't exactly.. inconspicuous..” Gabriel said. Frenchie frowned. He asked Gabriel what they were talking about, in French of course. Gabriel explained it and Tony watched as the French soldier just nodded and shrugged, answering on French. Gabriel snickered.

“See, Frenchie knew!” Gabriel said. Tony grumbled, sinking further down into the armchair.

“Ugh..” he just groaned while Bucky was fumbling with the coffee-cup.

“Look, we're not going to chastise you or shame you something like that.” Dum-Dum began. Tony and Bucky glanced at each other, both raising an eyebrow.

“You know how people look at.. our.. types..” Tony said, grimacing.

“I know, we all know, but damn, it's war.. the world is suffering, and is it that wrong?” Dum-Dum asked and Tony stared at him like he had made the biggest, lamest joke ever. The older man grumbled and dragged a hand over his face.

“It's who you are, fuck, it's who you choose to be, I've caught lots of soldiers going at it in the woods, and if I'm not wrong, you too.” he looked at Tony, who groaned.

“Oh God, thank you for reminding me.” he muttered.

“None of us rejects it, so stop hiding will you? Just.. don't go at it like rabbits okay?” Gabriel said and Tony felt his face heat up. He scrambled up in a better position, a protest ready on his tongue when Bucky made this horrible, awkward sound that had him looking at him. Bucky's face was flush red and his hands was holding onto the cup like it was his lifeline and his expression was that of full-blown embarrassment. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“R-rabbit's.. of- of course not..” Bucky squeaked and Tony grinned.

“Don't worry, not rabbit's.. rats.” he chirped in and Steve's face blanched.

“Fuck, don't you even-” he stopped when he realized Tony had been joking. Tony snickered.

“We're not that crazy, look, we're not just careful because of you, but if the German's found out..” he shuddered. He still suffered nightmares of what he went through in the camp. Everyone seemed to turn serious at that. Steve's eyes flashed momentarily in anger and Bucky pursed his lips tightly. Tony rubbed the back of his neck.

“You deserve to be happy, both of you, after everything in this war.” Montgomery suddenly said and Tony glanced at him, highly aware that Bucky was watching him instead of the soldier on the couch.

“I- yeah.. thanks.” Tony mumbled. It was weird, to be accepted so easily. In this age you'd end up in jail or worse if anyone found out, were they really this lucky? Could he and Bucky really have this? He looked over at Bucky, whose face slowly morphed into a huge grin.

“Thank you..” Bucky answered, then he turned to Steve.

“Well? If we tell about us.. even if you kinda blew us into it anyway, how about you tell us how it's going with Peggy? That dame's still waiting at home for a wedding ring and a husband with war medals?” Bucky said. Tony had expected Steve to, a; chuckle and answer happily, or b; glare and snap, instead he, for the first time in Tony's life, blushed lightly and gave a tiny, barely noticeable nod. Dum-Dum laughed loudly, slapping a hand on his thigh.

“Wow, it must be since it get's cap flushing like some virgin.” he said and the rest started laughing, except Steve who glared halfheartedly at each and every man in return. Then he smirked slyly and crossed his arms.

“Actually, yes.” he answered smugly and everyone fell silent instantly. Gabriel gaped.

“Wait! Wait one fucking second! You proposed?! When?!” he asked. Steve grinned at him.

“Back during that visit in the Stark mansion.” Steve just said.

“Yeah, I remember that.” Tony said, smirking smugly, Bucky just shook his head.

“Aw, come on man, you gotta give us more than that! Details, give us details!” Bucky asked.

“Really? Are you really- don't look at me like that, fine, yes, you are looking at me like that.. just went over to her place, went down on one knee and asked, ring and all.” Steve said, shrugging, but smiling nevertheless while Tony and Bucky exchanged smirks.

“No fancy date? No dance or romantic dinner? I mean, you and Howard managed to hook me up with Bucky, of course you had some plans!” Tony asked, grinning smugly when Steve shot him a dirty look. The rest of the Howlers gave Tony a surprised look, but didn't ask, right now, Steve was the one they could annoy with questions.

“Something like that.” he winked at them and Tony groaned.

“Yeah, thanks, didn't need that image.” Tony complained, whining.

“Oh, you didn't? Well, I'm not sorry.” Steve said as a matter of fact and Tony pouted.

“Ah.. lay of Rogers, or I'm going to start making out with Bucky right in front of you.” he said. There was an indignant squawk behind him and Steve's face scrunched up before he raised an eyebrow, clear to the challenge.

“Don't think Bucky's pride can survive that, nor his face, he's becoming permanent red if you haven't noticed.” Steve stated and Tony laughed, glancing at Bucky, who was indeed red as a tomato again.

“No surprise.” Tony murmured.

“Stop that.” Bucky whined.

“Make me.” Tony just answered slyly. Bucky glared at him.

“Watch it..” he warned.

“And what if I don't?” Tony asked sultry. Bucky threw a pillow at his face for that one while the rest laughed at the two of them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now they know, I'm just.. gonna go back to hissing and growling 'kay? and a little pre-taste, next chapter will be x-mas :D


	17. 08/10/47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Howling Commandos accepting their relationship, Bucky and Tony's finds time, even of Christmas Eve to have a few happy moments, for as long as it lasts..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm late, I was supposed to get this up two days ago, but yeah.. I couldn't get it done before today.. too busy drawing.  
> And most of this chapter is smut anyway..  
> Yeah, on that note, I did this a few days ago (instead of writing ahahaha..)
> 
> Enjoy 1950's Tony (pft, I dunno why I choose that name, I was sleepdepraved..)  
> http://tomyo-kun.deviantart.com/art/1950-No-Longer-a-Man-Out-of-Time-381926581?q=gallery%3Atomyo-kun&qo=0  
> http://skydiver-tomyo.tumblr.com/image/54289658514
> 
> Because trying to write smut with 5 hours sleep 48 hours is practically impossible..  
> And it's great, I was listening to Christmas songs (in July.. I know..) while writing this, great for my mood! :D  
> Jfc.. just ignore me, I'm gonna hide..

 

Christmas Eve, the entire Howling Commando's was sitting in the living room. It was sparsely decorated, but it still gave of that Christmas feeling. Not that Tony knew, he had never been a big fan of Christmas because that was a time that reminded him of his childhood and of how lonely he had been and still was. Well, not right now. Tony was sitting between Bucky's legs, back against the armchair the brunette was occupying. Steve and Dum-Dum had the other two while the rest of the Howlers shared the couch. The Christmas three had been brought in a day prior and decorated to fit the season. There was a surprising amount of presents, considering it was war and how hard it was to get an income, much less anything in from overseas. But there was some. Tony swore Howard had gotten in one for each of them. Peggy had, of course, sent one to Steve that had the soldier smiling in that silly, lovesick way. Dum-Dum got one from his wife, but the rest was a present from each of them to the other. Tony leaned his head against one of Bucky's knees while the fireplace crackled and everyone chatted cheerfully. The radio was playing some soft Christmas song, he was vaguely aware it was Frank Sinatra. It was a good thing the radio could get in American radio.

“Hey, what's got your mind wandering?” Bucky's voice came from right above him and Tony smiled softly at the feel of his lips against the whisk of gray hair at the hairline. This was one of those times Tony was utterly happy that the rest of the team knew and accepted it, because then he could let himself and Bucky do this. He just hummed, turning his head up to eye the soldier, smiling even more at the amused look in his deep sea blue eyes.

“How warm and comfy it is.” he answered. Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, that's good then.” Bucky murmured, voice low to keep some of their privacy. He started humming when he pressed the lower part of his face into Tony's hair. The genius could feel the presence of his lips after all. Tony smiled, recognizing the song as a Norwegian Christmas song that was surprisingly nice to listen to. Not that they heard much of that on the radio, but there were children in the neighborhood that did Christmas carols and in the days after Christmas Eve, they'd go Christmas bow too and come on visits to get oranges and whatever, which was nice. Tony had to admit, Norway had some cozy traditions, even if they seemed to disappear more and more as the older generations died off.

“Elsker deg..” Bucky murmured into his hair and Tony's face turned into one huge grin.

“Elsker deg også.” he murmured back.

“Hey, lovebirds, are we gonna start with the present now or?” Dum-Dum said, chuckling deeply. Bucky's face jerked away, but Tony barely bothered with turning his slightly to stare at the oldest soldier.

“Moment ruined here, idiot.” Tony pouted.

“Aw, I'm sure you can go snag with Bucky later.” Steve simply answered.

“Well, if your dame was here, I'm sure you'd be doing the same, so can it.” Tony teased.

“Of course we would.” Steve stated smugly and Tony groaned.

“Argh.. just, present please?!” he protested.

“Well, at least we're getting some, none of them are, which is.. gratifying.” Bucky said.

“James..” Tony breathed out, but he was smirking smugly as the rest of the men glowered at them.

“Ah shut it.” Montgomery muttered, but he was smiling now.

“Should probably start with the present though.” Dum-Dum said, chuckling at them all like some amused grandpa watching the kids chatter. Tony nodded in agreement. It was one thing to listen to Christmas song from America, but if they followed tradition, they'd wait until morning to open the present, but Norwegian tradition was opening presents on Christmas Eve, which was a tiny bit confusing, but very amusing nevertheless.

“Once a child, always a child..” Steve said, grinning at Tony, who spluttered, trying to find some answer to that. The others laughed as Tony pouted at Steve, who continued to grin back. One of Bucky's hands came down to rest against Tony's shoulder, an anchor for Tony. If anything, just to comfort him. Nothing was like waking up in the early dawn choking on a scream, terror of nightmares still haunting him. He was glad Bucky slept the night with him, effectively calming him. Those were also one of the few times Bucky was the one who didn't have nightmares. It was a common thing for soldiers to suffer. Nightmares was part of the job apparently, only it wasn't in the contract. Tony knew, more than anyone how nightmares of war and of death could rattle anyone, man or woman. It had broken him down more than once, and with the latest years of imprisonment and suffering, Tony had no more happy dreams. At least, today they could have this happy little hour, tomorrow, was the start of a new battle, a battle to force the German's out of this county, and hopefully, in a years time or more, out of Norway all-together. 

“So, whose gonna start? We've got a mountain to work through?” Tony asked casually after a few minutes of just staring at the presents like the rest of the Howlers did. He looked towards Steve, who shrugged.

“At one end probably, what, you've never done this before?” it was probably meant as a joke, but the dawning realization on Steve's face when Tony's expression turned grim. The others looked at him too now, all to serious suddenly. Tony sighed, raising a hand to push it through his unruly hair.

“Something like that, family gathering isn't something I'm all to familiar with, never have been, but.. as awkward as it is, it's pretty fun.” Tony said, smiling softly and giving a shrug. Bucky's free hand came to grab his, lacing their fingers together and squeezing gently. A reminder that he wasn't alone. Tony knew he didn't have to deal with his past and his problems alone, knew that he was loved and well protected. He had a family here, no matter how small. The Howling Commandos was his family as much as Howard was, after all, family wasn't just through blood and genetics, but deep friendship, companionship and love. This was something Tony was slowly coming to terms with. He was wanted here, more than he had known, more than he had thought he ever would be and more than he ever had been wanted in his own time, in his past. Steve cracked a slight smile.

“Good, gotta teach you these things, I think that brother of yours was almost have a stroke or something when you first told him you never had celebrating Christmas with your family before.” it was meant to be taken lightly and Tony didn't blame Steve for trying, so he smiled brightly back.

“Yeah, well, not his fault, but hey, at least I am learning, you can teach an old dog new tricks after all.” Tony said and everyone was snickering an instant later. The radio suddenly crackled a bit before a familiar voice started.

“And all across the world tonight, wherever there people, you can hear the same age old words of friendship and in the Christmas carol we're singing tonight, the words carry the innermost feeling of all of us, I hope you're singing with us, and I know that if you are.. you're enjoying it, why don't we all sing out with Paul Weston Orchestra and with the Norman Luboff Quire, this carol is Away in a Manger.” Bing Crosby's voice easily lulled Tony into a comfort as he listened, a smile coming to his face. When he glanced to the others, they all wore similar smiles, calm and very much nostalgia. Crosby's voice drifted into the song, which was both short and kind at the same time. Tony never thought he'd end up preferring to hear this kind of songs during Christmas. Earlier years, back in the 'future' he'd listen to Black Sabbath, no matter what season after all. Now, there was nothing like hearing a good, old American Christmas song in this season. God how much he'd changed.

“Well, are we gonna open the presents? Crosby's nice to listen to while we're doing that.” Gabriel said, grinning from ear to ear. Tony laughed heartily, nodding in agreement.

“Yeah, let's.”

* * *

 

Tony hummed on a cozy Christmas song as he, followed by Bucky, entered his bedroom. The brunette closed the door after them and Tony turned, smiling fondly at Bucky, who smiled back.

“Well, Merry Christmas James.” Tony said as Bucky stepped closer, arms finding their way around him as he was pulled into a hug. Tony snickered, but wrapped his arms around Bucky's waist, squeezing for extra measure.

“Merry Christmas Tony..” Bucky murmured into his ear and Tony let out a puff of air. They didn't stay like that for long though. Tony could feel one of Bucky's hands creeping down to settle against the small of his back, pressing lightly. The genius realized quickly why, both of his own hands wandering down Bucky's back to eventually settle on his hips. Bucky leaned away from hip and up, looking at him while Tony tilted his head slightly. Then he smiled widely and soon enough, Bucky was kissing him. Tony returned it the best he could, moaning when Bucky's tongue prodded his lips, easily gaining access.

“James..” Tony breathed as he pulled away, barely a ghost away from Bucky. The soldier was quick to return to their previous ministrations, which lead to Tony's hands fumbling with Bucky's shirt and the other returning the favor. Staggering backwards in a haze of hands and kisses, Tony and Bucky stopped when they hit the edge of the bed, both naked waist and up. Tony worked Bucky's pants off like the expert he'd become before Bucky his hands down Tony's, making him shudder and moan, knees weakening in their standing state. Soon enough, Bucky pressed Tony back until he sat down on he edge of the bed while Bucky moved just slightly away to work the pants and the boxer all the way down before stepping out of them. Tony licked his lips at the sight of his cock.

“C'mere..” Tony murmured, hands rising to grab onto Bucky, who was starting to grin. One thing that had surprised Tony the most, was how perverse Bucky actually was. Deep underneath that shy, but short-tempered personality, he had found a beast, which was around the time when he and Bucky was still just jacking off with each others hands and the words spilling from his mouth had ended up making sure Tony was blushing days after. It turned him on to no end no matter of unsure of himself or scared he was to have sex. Bucky pushed him backwards until Tony hit the mattress, not that that was much, Tony's bed was barely big enough for both so he nearly hit his head, but thankfully didn't. Bucky's hands was on his pants seconds after, working them down his hips before he pulled at his pants. Once he got them both off, Tony grabbed his hips to get him to move. After some awkward pushing about and what little to use as 'lube' later, Tony was practically on display for Bucky. He was on his knees on the bed, Bucky behind him and both hands spreading his ass cheeks to look.

“J-James..” Tony stuttered in what could only be embarrassment, but then again, he'd never admit that. Bucky just hummed, moving closer and the press of his cock alongside Tony's thigh, was a silent promise that sent shivers up his spine. Bucky leaned down, lips descending to his back. Tony arched, gasping as Bucky rubbed up against him, his cock catching at Tony's hole.

“Ah.. come on already..” Tony whined, pushing back against Bucky. The younger man groaned, hands moving to his hips to hold him steady and still. Tony whined again.

“Jaaaaaaaaames.” Tony whined and Bucky let out a snort above him.

“Happy now?” he asked, his cock catch at Tony's hole again before pressing in. Tony gasped out, pressing back to meet the hard flesh. He made a happy sound in the back of his throat, fingers clenching the sheets as Bucky straightened himself and pulled back, then thrust into Tony hard. Tony rocked forward, moaning loudly as the bed creaked under them. Tony was distantly happy that the rest of the Howlers had gone down into the basement, even Frenchie, at least that room was isolated so they wouldn't have heard them anyway. Bucky groaned above him, one hand moving up until it was at Tony's shoulder. Tony squeaked, but moaned afterward when Bucky thrust into him, nailing his prostate.

“J-James, oh God..” Tony gasped out while Bucky gave a throaty moan, having to lean down, resting his forehead between Tony's shoulder blades as he slammed into Tony. The genius' eyes closed as he neared the edge, but tried to hold on as much as he could. He whimpered, both hands shaking and near giving in.

“Shit, always so tight.. fuck, Tony!” Bucky groaned.

“G-gonna..” Tony whimpered, unable to finish the sentence as Bucky slammed into him, startling a moan out through his throat. The hand Bucky had on Tony's hip moved down under Tony, pressed against the skin right under the arc reactor before moving down his stomach, ending at his cock. Tony couldn't help the throaty moans escaping him. Then Bucky wrapped his hand around Tony's cock and the genius cried out, bucking against him.

“Fuck, James.. that..” he couldn't keep himself for reached the edge faster though. Bucky groaned above him as Tony clamped down, trying to hold on, but he moved faster despite it, hitting his prostate harder. Tony squeaked, then choked on a moan, the intense pleasure growing so much he couldn't stop even if he wanted to and the pool of pleasure exploded to every nerve. Tony damn near screamed Bucky's name as he came, bucking tensely as Bucky continued to fuck him, both hands moving to grab his hips again. It didn't take him long to grow oversensitive by Bucky's sharp thrusts.

“J-James.. fuck, it's.. too much..” he cried out when Bucky slammed in, stopping with his cock deep inside him, groaning as he tensed.

“Shit..” Bucky cursed. His hands tightened, holding on to Tony's hips till he was most likely bruising him. Tony gasped out as Bucky made a few more, sharp, but aborted thrusts before he stilled completely, collapsing on top of Tony, which brought him down as well. The two laid there for a while neither moving while laboring for sharp breaths. Sweat was still running down their skin, dampening the sheets beneath them. Bucky moved a tiny fraction and Tony couldn't stop the moan that rolled up his throat and he arched. Bucky's hands moved to his sides, holding him still, rocking back and forth again. Tony moaned, eyes opening and closing as he grasped the sheets in a feeble attempt to hold hims still, which he failed at.

“James.. shit..” Tony moaned. It surprised him to no end that he was already getting hard again, straining against the sheets. The gentle rocking from Bucky gave him sweet friction. Tony was startled when Bucky sat up slightly, moving back and forth now. His cock was hardening within him, searching for that spot again.

“It's okay right? Can I fuck you again?” Bucky asked and Tony moaned loudly.

“Oh God yes, yes, yes.. ah yes, yes James!” he nearly shouted, but Tony couldn't breath all to well though, being pressed down between the bed.

“W-” Tony could feel the panic creeping up to him, Bucky, who obviously sensed his oncoming distress moved a second later, slipping out of him as he rolled over. Now laying by his side, Bucky easily got Tony to roll over so he could pull him close. It made it easier for him to breath as well and Tony relaxed slowly, but only for so long before Bucky sank into him again, one hand under his thigh to hold his foot up in the air for easier access.

“Feels so good..” Bucky's mouth was on his neck, kissing and sucking. That wasn't something he usually did as they had to keep their relationship as secret as possible, but the back of his neck wasn't a place people usually looked so it was easier to just let go. He rocked his hips against him in sharp, short thrusts than nailed his prostate each and every time. Tony moaned, hands searching for some place to cling to, eventually with one grabbing the sheets and the other landed on Bucky's arm, the one holding his thigh up as he thrust into him.

“Jesus- fucking- feels so good..” Bucky breathed hard against him, sending shivers down Tony's spine. The man squirmed, moaning loudly as one particularly hard thrust that had him literary seeing stars. That was something Bucky had noticed, because he continued to aim there, thrusting harder now.

“J-James-” Tony choked on a moan, arching.

“Tony..” Bucky murmured against him and Tony turned his torso just enough to kiss him. All too soon the edge neared and Tony cried out, fumbling to grab his cock and stroke himself while Bucky continued to thrust into him. Tony cried out against his lips as Bucky hit his pleasure spot. It took him no more than a minute before he came again, shuddering against Bucky, who bucked against him, then groaned loudly as he too, succumbed to the orgasm he obviously had been struggling against. Tony pulled away, only to roll around so he was facing Bucky. Wrapping one arm around Bucky's neck, he kissed him for all his worth, and Bucky returned it with just as much passion and love. Eventually they settled back to get some air into their lungs. Sated, Tony let a sigh.

“Gotta do that more often..” Bucky breathed out, amusement and lust very clear in his eyes. Tony chuckled and moved his now limp arm down from Bucky's neck to around his waist. Bucky smiled and wrapped his arm around him, pulling him closer.

“I love you Tony, for alltid og alltid, aldri tro noe annet.” Bucky murmured before pressing his lips against his. Tony moaned softly into his mouth, kissing back. As they parted Tony saw a happy smile appear on Bucky's face and he smiled back, damn well near giggling.

“Jeg elsker deg også James, for enn så lenge du aksepterer meg.” he murmured back.

“Såklart! I will always accept you Tony, I love you for you, no matter what scars or burdens you carry.” Bucky said, lightly slapping Tony's ass as a reprimand. Tony snickered, then he laid back, relaxing. They laid there, just breathing in and sharing a moment of sweet nothing and soft touches, well, until Tony started to shiver, the sweat turning cold. Bucky sat up.

“You're getting cold, we should get under the covers..” he said. Tony nodded slowly. The adrenaline and lust from earlier completely gone now. Tiredness and satisfaction was all that was left, and that was a dangerous combination. He yawned as he and Bucky moved, just barely so to tuck the fluffy duvets over them, quickly warming them. Tony was blissfully grateful that they'd been on top of the duvet this whole time, because it ensured that the bed was warm when they tucked themselves in. Tony smiled and curled up against Bucky, tangling their legs together as Bucky wrapped his arms around him, kissing his forehead.

“Good night.. James..” Tony murmured through another yawn. Bucky chuckled and smiled.

“Good night Tony.” he answered, nuzzling his face into Tony's hair. Slowly, their breaths evened out, but Bucky fell asleep first, with Tony laying awake. He moved just a tiny fraction to look up at Bucky face. He knew he had to tell him eventually, tell him the truth. Tony had been lucky up until now. No one had actually asked any questions about his looks. Because despite already having just become 50, he still looked to be early 40 or less, which, he knew, people wouldn't act to kindly about. He hadn't grown a single gray hair since he first landed on this world's Earth. The combination of two alien hearts and the arc reactor slowing his aging with a tens of eleven in fraction. Tony dreaded the day he had to tell Bucky he wasn't from this world, that he was never supposed to be here, much less in this age. He knew he'd hurt him that day when the truth comes out and he wished, no, hoped he would be just as understanding as Steve and Howard had been. Tony sighed.

“Damn.. this is bad.. I love you too much..” he murmured, before breaking off into a yawn. Dreadful thoughts spun around in his head despite it. And what if Bucky left him? What if he stopped loving him because he was partially alien? Those were not kind thoughts, these feelings of doubt was making him anxious and depressed. Tony didn't want to risk having the Aphasia kicking in because of it. But still, how could he not have them? Tony sighed, closing his eyes tightly and pressing more against Bucky's lax body. The sleeping brunette's arms tightened instinctively around him, murmuring something in his sleep, but didn't stir. Tony bit his lip. No, he couldn't think of that now, couldn't let it get to him. First, they'd finish the war, then he could start worrying about love. It was a dangerous game they were playing, this game of love during times of war when things like love between men was not accepted.

“If I lose you.. I could never survive that.. don't you ever die before me James.” he almost hissed, the words lost for the sleeping soldier, but Tony didn't care much. The night swallowed the words up as Tony sighed, closing his eyes and warding off any and all thoughts, but couldn't help that they returned anyway, and so, Tony fell asleep with these thoughts churning his mind.

* * *

 

“Hnn..” Tony gave a hoarse groan as he slowly awoke. 

“What time.. is it?” he wondered out loud, well as much as his sore throat would let him. Suddenly a coughing fit seized him and with a loud, painful cough, Tony just about shot up from bed, hacking mucus and whatnot the body tried to get right of. Tony covered his mouth as the painful coughs racked his body. As he calmed, he curled the sheets around him and looked around the room, which was blurry thanks to his feverish mind.

“Time..” he looked over at the tiny clock on the nightstand. It was either 4 or 5 in the afternoon, he wasn't sure. Tony mentally cursed his feverish mind for being unable to do such simple tasks. Tony moved his feet slowly, sitting up even more. The ache in his body and the rippling pain in his lungs at each draw of breath gave him little to no energy to move with. Nausea and a heavy headache did little to help him get up, but he had no choice.

“Frenchie?” he yelled, though hoarsely so. His body seized in another coughing fit for that. Tony sighed as his calmed down. Pulling the large duvet closer around himself, Tony slowly got up, stumbling towards the door in a haze. It sucked being sick. Tony had come down with a cold two weeks ago, at the end of September, but since it wasn't letting up, Steve had sent a secret letter to Howard, asking for some medicine, which was why the house was nearly empty. It was now, the 8th October 1947 and the Howlers had been gone for two days ago, out to get what came with the plane Howard had made sure would fly over. Bucky had promised him a good cuddle if he stay still in his bed and didn't get any worse. It was just him and Frenchie here now. Too bad he ended up giving the French soldier what he had and the man was just as much in bed as he was.

“Shit-” he cursed. Tony nearly doubled over when he breathed too hard and ended up with another coughing fit. Leaning against the wall at his side, he wheezed for air, calming himself as much as he could.

“Fuck..” he muttered, eventually forcing himself to walk that last few steps to Frenchie's room. He slipped inside, but didn't turn on the lights, just let the door stand open to let in the light of the hallway. Frenchie was turned towards him, but his eyes wasn't open, so he was probably asleep.

“Hey, Frenchie?” he called out, but the man barely twitched. Tony stopped up in front of him, swaying a little before he reached out with one hand, putting it against the younger man's forehead.

“Shit, you're burning up..” Tony wheezed out. He knew he did too, but he had to take care of the Howler just as much as he had taken care of him.

“Frenchie, du må våkne.” he hissed. Tony slid down to his knees, watching intently as Frenchie squirmed in his bed, then he opened his eyes slowly. Dark, dull eyes stared back, surprisingly wet and red at the edges. He wheezed, as if trying to say something. Tony shook his head, giving the French soldier a stern look.

“Ikke snakk, hør på meg nå.. har du spist? Drukket noe?” he asked, voice hoarse, but the soldier shook his head tiredly. Tony coughed lightly, trying to avoid another fit.

“Svarte, du må ha noe mat Frenchie, faen, i allefall noe å drikke.” he insisted, but the man just shook his head again. Tony frowned.

“Frenchie.. du kan ikke bare ligge der, uten mat å drikke kan det hende vi mister deg, og det kan vi ikke risikere.” he said. Frenchie just gave him a tired, sad smile. Tony sighed.

“Fine, du kommer ikke til å høre på meg, men du må i allefall sove.. du må bli frisk, vi trenger deg ennå, krigen er langt ifra over og jeg er sikker på at vi kan holde av et par tyskere for deg.” Tony managed, although it was slightly muffled by the duvet, but Frenchie nodded anyway, but he didn't close his eyes, instead he looked towards the window and so did Tony, staring at the gray and brown scenery outside. Tony turned back.

“Frenchie? Hva er det?” Tony asked, aware Frenchie was still looking out through the window.

“Trøtt..” Frenchie's voice was low, barely below a whisper, but Tony heard it anyway. He tensed up. It was okay to be tired, sleepy even, but something was off. Tony leaned in a bit more.

“Trøtt? Frenchie? Du får ikke gå henn nå, ikke du også, vi har allerede mistet Jim, vi trenger deg.” Tony pleaded, watching as Frenchie closed his eyes, smiling almost sadly, when he opened them again, they were filled with tears and Tony cursed loudly, but the next coughing fit had him wheezing and regretting the cure. He shuddered, pulling the duvet closer to himself as he pushed his hands up onto the edge of the bed, staring at the man.

“Hør på meg Frenchie, de andre er snart tilbake, du må holde ut til da!” Tony said, grasping for breath himself. His toes was outside the duvet, resting against the cold wood of the floor. Tony shuddered again as Frenchie closed his eyes slowly, the smile still there.

“Si.. takk.. dere ga.. meg så mye.. adjø..” his breath even out to a point were Tony knew he didn't have a painful time breathing. Tony choked on a cough, a sob following it. Then he closed his eyes tightly, clenching his teeth as he reached out with one hand, going for Frenchie's neck. Nothing.

“Farvel.. Jacques Dernier, vi vil aldri glemme deg.” he swore. Tony opened his eyes slowly, staring at Frenchie's face, startled by the peaceful look on it. He wondered briefly if he'd look like that too, but never got as far as he yawned, grasping for breath afterward. Then he closed his eyes, resting his head against his arm. That's the last he remembered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you knew it was going to happen.. no, not the smut.. or the whole Christmas Eve thingy.  
> Frenchie's death date is the name of the chapter :D  
> So.. it goes from 24th December 1946 to 8th October 1947.. shit, that's a jump..
> 
> I like the idea of the Howlers accepting them tho..  
> Okay, running now to hide now!
> 
> Translation:  
> Elsker deg - Love you.  
> Elsker deg også - Love you too.  
> For alltid og alltid, aldri tro noe annet. - For ever and ever, never believe anything else.  
> Jeg elsker deg også James, for enn så lenge du aksepterer meg. - I love you too Hames, for however long you'll accept me.  
> Såklart. - Of course.  
> Du må våkne - You have to wake up.  
> Ikke snakk, hør på meg nå.. har du spist? Drukket noe? - Don't speak, listen to me now.. have you eaten? Drunk anything? (not sure about that last part, usually it's be more 'drinking anything' but it's in past tense.. fuck)  
> Svarte, du må ha noe mat Frenchie, faen, i allefall noe å drikke. - Damn, you have to have something to eat Frenchie, fuck, at least something to drink. (svarte has two meanings in Norwegian, it means black, and damn, but damn has two meanings as well.. blah)  
> Du kan ikke bare ligge der, uten mat å drikke kan det hende vi mister deg, og det kan vi ikke risikere. - You can't just lay there, without food and liquid we might loose you, and we can't risk that.  
> Du kommer ikke til å høre på meg, men du må i allefall sove.. du må bli frisk, vi trenger deg ennå, krigen er langt ifra over og jeg er sikker på at vi kan holde av et par tyskere for deg. - You're not going to listen to me, but you have to sleep at least.. you have to get better, we still need you, the war is far from over and I'm sure we can hold of a few German's for you.  
> Hva er det? - What is it?  
> Trøtt. - Sleepy.  
> Trøtt? Du får ikke gå henn nå, ikke du også, vi har allerede mistet Jim, vi trenger deg. - Sleepy? You can't go away now, not you too, we already lost Jim, we need you.  
> Hør på meg Frenchie, de andre er snart tilbake, du må holde ut til da! - Listen to me Frenchie, the rest is back soon, you've just got to hold out till then!  
> Si.. takk.. dere ga.. meg så mye.. adjø.. - Say.. thanks.. you gave.. me so much.. goodbye..  
> Farvel.. Jacques Dernier, vi vil aldri glemme deg. - Farewell.. Jacques Dernier, we will never forget you.


	18. Au Revoir Notre Ami Français, 1947.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turning to the end of 1947, the loss of a teammate.
> 
> If the new year was supposed to be better, Tony really hadn't expected something from his past to arrive.  
> At least not someone from Romainville.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weeeeeeeee, finally an update :D  
> Sorry for the delay ^^; oh, and I know I said to a few that there wont be any sad stuff, but.. yeah.. sorry on advance..
> 
> I'm gonna add translation at the end notes of every chapter, I hadn't realized it was becoming a hazzle.. I chose not to earlier because I can't quite trust google translate for their translation, so, if anything doesn't make sense, message me 'kay?

 

“-y...”

“-ny..” Tony squirmed, fighting through the haze of fever to get away from the annoying voice trying to wake him up. His head throbbed painfully, making him all to aware of how bad his own situation was. Nausea was rolling around him his belly, threatening to push up whatever was in his stomach, which wasn't much. Tony groaned, turning away from the voice, but not really turning. The room was swimming and every dig felt like it'd made his stomach lurch and a imaginary lunch come up.

“Tony!” Tony groaned hoarsely. Someone's hand was covering his forehead, which was kinda comfortable, but he couldn't quite make out why. Prying his eyes open, his squinted at the strong light and opened his mouth to complain, but a cough fought it's way through his throat instead and soon he was coughing painfully. That didn't really help the nausea either, but at least it couldn't get past the coughing, for now. The hand on his forehead disappear only to have arms wrapping around him and forcing him to sit up. One hand came to his back, rubbing soothingly to calm his lungs as he hacked up mucus.

“Tony..” the voice said softly, a man's voice Tony realized. Tony slowly turned his head, lungs admitting to having coughed up all the current mucus. He recognized those blue eyes, which was now filled with worry and sorrow. Slowly what had happened dawned on him. Frenchie.

“Oh God, James-” his voice broke on him and he jerked in his arms, but Bucky held him close as Tony squirmed, trashing a little before he slowed to a stop.

“I know.. I know..” he murmured as Tony clung to him, fighting against the sorrow in his heart.

“He.. he died.. I was there.. I couldn't..” Tony gasped for breath and Bucky's hand was rubbing soothing circles on his back, eventually calming him down. Tony dragged the back of his palm across his face, not sure of the wetness on his face was either tears or sweat, probably a mixture of both. Any other situation, this would have been really, really awkward. Tony never thought of himself as soft or emotional, not even when someone close to him died, but not even he could stay cold hearted forever. He often wondered if Pepper and Rhodey had something to do with that, if not, the Howling Commando's sure had stomped around, breaking the wall of defense he'd built over the years. It had surprised him how easily he'd let them in too. Maybe Chris had been the start of that. That damn soldier had had a way of knocking down people's defenses, even his and Chris had picked up the biggest pole and struck him, so yeah, that damn bastard was still there in his heart, okay, getting sappy, moving on. Tony dragged his hands over his eyes again, drying up what remained of the tears at least. Thinking about past people probably wasn't the best course of action, but it helped surprisingly well.

“Are you alright?” Bucky asked, eyes as soft as his voice. Tony grimaced, thinking about what had happened the Frenchie made him feel even more awful. He wondered if he could have helped the French soldier at all. He didn't know, not that he could figure it out now, now that Frenchie was dead.

“I just.. had to check on.. Frenchie, if I had gone earlier..” he mumbled, before grasping his chest as a cough fit grasped him.

“You're sick Tony, Frenchie would have been sad if you had gone too.” Bucky stated grimly.

“But-” Bucky was pushing him back to the bed.

“Sleep, when you get better we'll have a funeral for Frenchie, but right now, losing you will only make this worse.” Bucky said, something in his voice too deep and emotional for Tony to figure it out. But soon his eyelids fell, heavy with exhaustion. Tony hated it when he felt like this, sick and weak and depending on others. He'd never depended on others before, except Jarvis, and Pepper, and Rhodey, even Happy. Those were those few people that would lend a shoulder to rest on if he needed it, not that he'd ever admit that. That was the last thing he remembered of that day.

* * *

 

What surprised Tony, wasn't the fact that the medicine sent by Howard hadn't worked at all, or that the serum Erskine had given him worked, but rather it took three fucking weeks in hell for him to get better. The serum seemed to finally kick in and Tony was suddenly up the next day, all good and alive. Tony hadn't told anyone though, well, okay, he told Steve, but that was because he knew. The damn bastard had even told Howard and Tony would never, ever, tell Steve anything like that again. The wind had been howling on the day of Frenchie's funeral, much like how it would in Norway in this season. The gray and brown scenery did nothing to dampen their sorrow. The priest had finished reading from the bible, not that Tony listened. He'd never believed in God, not even after all this, and knowing that he was the last to talk to Frenchie kinda made him all agonizingly distant. They'd lowered his coffin into the Earth and buried him quickly in fright of being caught by German's. Tony knew they'd be on the look out since Steve had told him a few German's got away, probably telling their superior commander. That night, the Howling Commando's took a few minutes in reminder of their fallen comrade, went to each their own afterward. Tony kept to himself that night, and Bucky to him. Frenchie's room remained the way it did when he was still alive. The next day, the first snow fell.

* * *

 

Christmas came, and everyone was once more gathered in the living room. There was, however, one less person to celebrate with, one less person to share presents with. Tony eyed the couch, it seemed surprisingly empty now that there was only two people occupying it, not three. Montgomery and Gabriel each had their side, but Frenchie had been in the middle, now there was that mere feeling that something was missing, not like, a tooth you just lost, but a missing limb, one you couldn't work without. Unlike last year, they were rather subtle in their cheerful mode. Last year, they'd lost Jim, this year Frenchie, if this kept up, there wouldn't be a Howling Commando's in a few years. Tony sighed, leaned back against Bucky's legs. He had one of his hands in his hair and it kept him calm, always did. Tony had been thinking a lot about death lately, well, he always did, but now that their team was shortened by two, his mind easily went back to his former team, the Avengers. He wondered how they fared, they'd probably already moved on, of course, if time even moved at the same speed. Had Pepper found someone whom deserved her? Rhodey and Happy too was a worrisome thought, but he didn't worry, they were strong, capable of taking care of themselves and Rhodey was a hero too, working directly under the president. The Howlers began taking down the now smaller mountain of presents under the tree, but the mood in the room was still low compared to last year. Tony sighed, settling back again, one of his hands interweaving with Bucky's. As the present-mountain got smaller, the mood rose a bit, they even dared a few jokes and Tony could finally work a smile on his face. When Steve finally tuned the radio in to American broadcast, the cheery Christmas songs somehow lightened the mood.

“Well, merry Christmas..” Bucky said after a while and a few smiles appeared. The answer was almost immediate.

“Merry Christmas.” they chorused. Eventually the team parted, most going down to the basement and Bucky followed Tony to his room. They'd started sharing room midway into November. Tony's nightmares had returned with vengeance and while he knew he hurt Bucky in his sleep, the soldier never complained, was always there when he needed him, soothing him and hugging him till he calmed down. And Tony returned the favor when Bucky was struck by his own nightmare. As soon as the door closed, Bucky pulled Tony into a bone crushing hug, kissing him for all his worth.

“Mfph.. J-James..” Tony gasped against his lips. Bucky's hands wound down his body, clinging to him. Tony moaned when one of his hands moved to squeeze his ass. Tony clung to him as Bucky's hands moved into his pants, one rubbing his cock and the other going between his buttocks, rubbing against his hole. Tony moaned, head falling to Bucky's shoulder as the soldier continued to pleasure him.

“Need you..” Tony moaned out and Bucky groaned, then hesitated a tiny bit before moving away, shedding his clothing quickly, so Tony did too. It took them no longer than half a minute to slick up and get into the bed, in that order. Tony moaned as Bucky grasped at his hips, moving his own forward as his cock, hard, flushed and wet rubbed against Tony. They liked that position the most, because it was easiest for Bucky to hit Tony's prostate, but they had yet to try out anything but doggy style, and that one time laying on their sides. Tony moaned loudly.

“Come on..” Tony whined and Bucky chuckled. Hands running up and down Tony's sides then moving to his chest. Just the barest touch to his nipples and Tony gasped, eyes going wide. Bucky seemed to still for a second, then he rubbing his fingers across Tony's nipples on purpose and Tony arched, moaning.

“James.” Tony gasped out.

“Didn't know you were sensitive there..” Bucky murmured. Tony whined.

“Didn't.. either..” Tony grit out. Bucky chuckled, then pressed up against him. Tony cried out at the sudden pressure before the muscle gave away and Bucky pressed into him, slow and burning. It didn't take him to pull back and push into him again and Tony arched, meeting the rocking. Soon Bucky's thrust gained momentum. Speeding up, his thrust into him, as hard as he could and Tony gasped, the moan following probably as loud as a shout. Bucky's hands remained on his chest, fingers flickering across his nipples, shudders working their way up Tony's spine, ending with a moan escaping his lips as he arched.

“J-James!” Tony cried out when Bucky snapped his hips forward, thrusting deep and abusing his prostate. Tony's arms was shaking, threatening to give in and the momentum of Bucky's thrust brought him down. He ended up with his arms under him, head resting on his forearms as Bucky continued to fuck him.

“Shit.. Tony..” Bucky cursed, groaned above him. Wave after wave of desire and pleasure rolled over Tony and he cried out as the edge neared too fast.

“Gonna.. fu- James, I'm gonna..” Tony whimpered. The orgasm hit him hard and fast and he cried out, coming beneath Bucky, who grunted, hips jerking. Suddenly he pulled away, too fast for Tony, who whimpered at the sudden sensitivity. That was, until Bucky wrestled him around till they were missionary.

“James?” Tony asked, but couldn't quite get out anything else when Bucky grabbed his thigh's and spread him wide as he pushed into him again. Tony cried out at the sudden thrust. Bucky's hands released Tony to work up his sides, eventually settling on his chest again, pinching his nipples. Tony twitched, arching at the sensitivity. Bucky leaned down shortly after, pressing his lips against Tony and Tony moaned loudly. He parted his lips the moment he felt Bucky's tongue against his lips. Tony was well aware the his refractory period wasn't of the fastest -that time last Christmas doesn't count!- but he still turned on as hell as Bucky thrust into him, swallowing ever moan and whimper Tony made. His hands stayed on his chest, his thumbs mercilessly rubbing the now hard, swollen nubs underneath. One sharp thrust and Tony cried out. His cock took interest in that and started to swell.

“Fuck..” he cursed as they parted for a second. Bucky grinned.

“Yeah, doing it.” and Tony swatted at him. Another thrust and Tony arched.

“You trying.. to see how m-many times.. I can co-come or something?!” Tony asked, breathless, Bucky didn't answer right away, instead he kissed him sloppily again.

“Maybe..” he whispered as they parted and Tony groaned arching up against.

“Fuck you!” Tony whined, but didn't protest otherwise. Because the idea of being fucked so much he'd come dry was tempting, though it'd probably be a little painful, but Tony couldn't help the moan that escaped him at the thought.

“Nope, other way around.” Bucky answered, chuckling at the end.

“Watch it, or you might.. wake up.. tomorrow, s-shackled to the bed.. and m-me riding you..” Tony gasped out through heaves of breath. Bucky's eyes darkened and he licked his lips.

“Don't give me ideas right now..” he warned, thrusting sharply. Tony cried. Why they hadn't tried out this position before, Tony didn't know, but he kind of regretted it now. It struck him in all sorts of places. And he got to see Bucky too, so that was a plus.

“Fuck, Tony.” Bucky groaned and his thrust gained momentum, sharpening and speeding up. Tony cried out, arched to meet ever thrust Bucky made and his hands flew up to grab onto Bucky's biceps. One of Bucky's hands moved down, grasping his cock and stroking it in time with his thrusts. Tony arched, giving a loud cry at the sudden assault. Bucky's other hand continued to move across his chest and he dragged nails across the few scars there. Tony had always known that scars was a little more sensitive than normal skin, but this. He moaned, squirming in Bucky's hold as Bucky leaned over him, nearly folding him in half as he continued to slam into him. The sound of skin against skin, the wet strokes of his cock and the ministrations on his chest was more than enough, but when Bucky kissed his harshly, thrusting his tongue into his mouth, Tony nearly screamed as he came, bucking against the other, who tensed. No more than a few seconds later, Bucky came, twitching against him and his movements stuttered to a halt, but his hips continued to snap back and forth a little, riding out his orgasm.

“James..” Tony muttered against Bucky's lips and Bucky grinned.

“Fuck, you're hot.” he muttered. Tony laughed breathlessly.

“And you aren't? If I'm hot you're the sun.” he answered as Bucky pulled away, and Tony fell flat against the bed, gasping for air and Bucky gave a breathless snicker.

“Mm.. I love you too..” he murmured as he laid down beside Tony, wrapping his arms around him. Tony smiled widely, ignoring the rapidly cooling, sticky fluid on his stomach for now. Tony snickered, looping one arm around Bucky's waist. Laying there for a moment, just taking everything in and calming down. Tony realized just how deep in this he was. He loved Bucky, that he'd admitted years ago, but now, now he realized how much he wanted them to stay there, the two of them, ignoring the war, the suffering and all that was dark outside their room.

“I wish.. we could stay like this, I know.. sappy, but..” Tony fell silent, suddenly aware he'd said it aloud. He turned, feeling his face heat up. He hadn't meant to say that aloud, but Bucky was laughing at him, he was smiling, softly too.

“Me too..” Bucky murmured, pressing his forehead to his. Tony couldn't help the gigantic grin that grew on his face and he snickered.

“Still sappy though.” he stated.

“Yeah, still sappy, but you look so cute when you blush, so it was worth it.” Bucky said and Tony spluttered, flushing again.

“James!” he complained, slapping his lover's chest. Bucky laughed loudly, but didn't do anything else. Tony calmed down beside him, pushing his head into the crock of Bucky's neck.

“I love you..” he murmured, suddenly seriously so. Bucky hummed in answer.

“I love you too Tony, always.. this war would be an awful lot harder without you.” he said. Tony didn't need to look up at him to see the almost haunted look on Bucky's face. Neither wanted to bring up the issue about nightmares they'd had about each others death's. To many times had Bucky woken up, nearly sobbing as Tony soothed him, telling him he was alive, he was well and still there.

“It's.. the same for me actually..” Tony murmured. Bucky took a deep breath.

“Yeah, I know..” they fell silent after that. Their breaths evened out, but neither fell asleep. They'd probably die if they did. Norway was so freaking cold in the winter. Soon enough Tony shuddered.

“Okay, I'm sticky, sweaty and I'm getting cold, either we get a shower or we sleep, or both?” he asked. Bucky chuckled, but nodded nevertheless.

“Yeah, shower, then sleep.”

* * *

 

Tony had been walking across the field with Bucky and some of the neighbor's children when a couple of German's passed. That, in itself wasn't so unusual, the German's knew these people apparently, Tony and Bucky themselves had become quite acquainted with the soldiers, who, despite their ruler, was quite nice. After all, not all German's was Nazi's. Today though, there was a couple of new ones. The children stared curiously at the soldier while Bucky just glanced at them. It was 1948, 2nd May and while most German forces had pulled out of Norway, a few remained, particularly here in Fosen county. Tony, upon seeing the soldier on the other hand, froze, hand shooting out to grab Bucky's. The soldier turned slowly.

“Tony?” he must've realized that something bad had happened, because Tony refused to look in the German's direction, so Bucky did.

“What is it?” he whispered. Tony swallowed, keeping his eyes straight ahead, trying not to let the scars show, the pain and the hollow sadness.

“That.. last one..” he grit out through clenched teeth. The German's passed, obviously not noticing by the kids running around. Bucky on the other hand, was looking directly at the last soldier before he turned back to Tony.

“What about him?” he asked, sensing something really, really bad going on.

“He.. was a.. guard.. at Romainville.” Tony grit out. Bucky immediately tensed, expression turning thunderous.

“What?!” he hissed, glaring at the German's this time. They were too far gone to notice and maybe that was fine, Tony didn't want to have an accident that had them practically kicked out of Norway. They still had one mission remaining, one that could settle the war in Norway, one that could eventually drive them away from Norway for good. Bucky turned to the kids, telling them they'd be heading home. The kids seemed snuffed by this, but let it go when some elderly was coming up the hill. Bucky grabbed Tony's hand and literally dragged him through the field, back to their house. As soon as they walked through the front door, Bucky released Tony, going for a more ineffective way of showing his anger. Stomping around in the living room, fuming with anger.

“What the hell?” Gabriel's voice came from hatch, but Tony didn't answer, just went and sat down in the chair, silently looking out of the window and rocking ever so slightly. He wrapped his arms around himself, a feeble attempt to keep the PTSD at bay. Tony didn't give a damn fuck that people in this age called it Shell Shock, he'd call it whatever he want, even Preparative Dysfunctional Temporary Brain-damage like the Deshainn, but damn, that was hard to remember, much less say fluently. The soldier must have realized something was off because soon every single Howler was in the living room. Bucky was still stomping about, arms crossed or swinging wildly as he mumbled curses in ways that would have a sailor turning scarlet.

“What's going on Bucky?” Steve asked. The brunette looked at him before he scoffed.

“If I go out and shot a German in the middle of the street, will you get pissed off?” Bucky sneered. Steve's eyes widened ever so slightly before he frowned, eyebrows furrowing as he stared between him and Tony, who still refused to look at them. If air could be cut, Tony would have gotten the knife stuck, that's how thick the air was now. His toes curled as he turned in on himself and stared at the floor.

“Depends on what the German did to get you so pissed off, and considering how Stark is acting, I'd say it's really bad.” Steve stated, one eyebrow raised and hands on his hips. Bucky finally stopped, but he heaved a breath and threw his hands out at the angry statement he made next.

“One of the guard from Romainville is here!” Bucky hissed. The group tensed and Tony visible flinched. Steve took a deep breath, letting it come out in an angry sigh. Dum-Dum literally growled, startling Tony the most. He had expected some sort of bad reaction from the team, but this was beyond what he thought possible. Tony couldn't find the explanation for that, well, he could, but he couldn't believe the Howlers cared for him that much.

“Get the damn bastard here, and we'll take turns.” Steve said, voice a deep rumble of anger. Bucky nodded, turning to Tony.

“You should stay here Tony..” he said. Tony turned, looking at him and Bucky's eyes softened.

“Yeah..” he murmured. Depression was hitting him hard and fast. While the medicine took the edge of, the serum made sure it had no initial effect on him. If he was careless, the Aphasia would kick in. Bucky opened his mouth to say something when the doorbell rung and everyone in the room was startled into action. The Howlers was quick down into the basement as Tony practically shot of the chair to close the hatch, depression forgotten, or not really, just pushed aside. Tony was glad something happened so he could push the fear aside.

“I'll go check..” Bucky said and Tony nodded, walking over to the bookshelf by the hatch, pretending to be looking for a book. It make more sense to visitors anyway. Bucky walked out of the room, heading for the front door. Tony sighed, pressed the front of his wrist against his forehead. Living like this, had become more of a habit than a job. Even if the Howlers tip-toed around the community, they'd fallen into a false sense of comfort and security, because none of the German's thought of the old man with his sons -or son, now right?- living in a house by themselves was any danger and quite a few knew them personally too. Tony faintly heard a tiny curse, then the shuffle of feet, more than one pair. The last was, much to Tony's dread, German army-issue steel boot. Tony turned slowly to see Bucky come in, hands raised in a sign of surrender while he gave Tony a worrying look. Tony frowned, freezing when he saw the guard coming in behind Bucky, gun aimed at the soldier. Despite himself, Tony noticed that the German man was alone, no other soldier.

“H-hvem er du?” he asked, hoping he'd somehow fool the man by talking Norwegian instead of German. Of course, hard to do when this man had been close to intimate with him back in Romainville, even if it was one-sided. The man sneered.

“Jemand wird glücklich sein, wenn sie ihre Gefangenen zurück bekommen.” he spat.

“Fuck off..” Bucky just muttered under his breath, but the German soldier just ignored him.

“Gut, dass ich nochmal zurück gegangen bin und nachgeschaut habe, dachte ich mir doch, dass ich dich von irgendwoher kenne.” the soldier said, sneering at Tony, who had grasped the bookshelf behind him. He closed his eyes momentarily, holding back the initial fear and the downright horror of this development. If he was really, really unlucky, the PTSD would kick in and Aphasia follow, that meant he'd be useless against anyone.

“Ich gehe nicht zurück, du Bastard! Was du mir dort angetan hast..” Tony fell silent then.

“Oh, du wirst schon wieder zurückgeschickt, du und dein Schwuchtelfreund.” the man sneer. At that, Tony snarled. He was quite capable of taking critics thrown at him, but calling Bucky a faggot, that got you blacklisted in Tony Stark's book.

“Wenn hier jemand eine Schwuchtel ist, bist du das, du kranker Wichser! Verpiss dich, ich werde nicht mit dir mitkommen!” Tony spat back. The soldier raised a single eyebrow, the gun still pressed against Bucky's back.

“Sie hätten nicht mit einem anderen Mann zusammen leben sollen, es ist so offensichtlich.” the man said and Bucky scoffed.

“As son and father, dumb fuck.” he snarled. The German soldier hit him in the back of his head with the but of the gun then. Tony growled. If anything went wrong, he might lose Bucky, and he couldn't take that. Tony knew that if Bucky died, he'd most likely die too, he wouldn't be able to move on.

“Lass ihn gehen, sofort!” Tony snarled.

“Warum?” the soldier asked, obviously amused. Tony hissed.

“Er hat nichts damit zu tun!” the genius said, agitated now that he feared for Bucky's life.

“Das glaube ich wohl kaum.” the soldier just answered.

“Fuck you!” Tony snarled.

“Leute wie Sie sollte nicht erlaubt sein leben zu dürfen, so wie Hitler es wollte..” and something broke in Tony.

“Der Bastard geht mir am Arsch vorbei.” he shouted.

“Heil Hitler.” the soldier muttered, finger on the trigger. And Tony snapped, body growing tense as the words rang in his ears. He threw himself at the man, startling him. Tony grabbing his free arms -left one- and easily broke it before he punched him in the face, breaking his nose.

“Verdammter Schwuchtel! Damit werde ich dich erwischen!” the soldier snarled as he slowly got up again. Bucky moved to the side, not attacking, because Tony was still eyeing the soldier like a predator eyeing it's pray. He moved a tiny bit away to attack again. The firing of a gun startled both him and Bucky, but Tony realized it wasn't the Howlers intervening. He stumbled back at the shock of the impact and looked down to see red seeping through his shirt on the left side. Right over his heart. Tony looked up again, glancing at Bucky's horrified face, then he turned to stare helplessly at the soldier, whose gun was still pointed at him. Tony coughed sharply, blood a major part of it.

“Du kannst mich nicht... töten.” Tony gasped out as he doubled over, hands grasping the shirt above his heart. His right heart sped up, pulse sky-rocketing as it tried to compensate for the other heart flattening out. If anything, it surprised him he was going into shock already.

“No! Tony!” Bucky yelled, moving before the soldier could. Before Tony hit the floor, arms caught him, holding onto him as they sank to the floor. The soldier leveled his gun at them and Tony barely noticed how Bucky didn't even glance at the soldier, one hand flying over Tony's chest to work the shirt open. Another shot and Bucky screamed as Tony fell backward, a second bullet piercing his right heart.

“Mörder!” someone yelled in German and suddenly the Nazi was face down against the floor, several men sitting on top of him. Steve had a gun pointed at the soldier's head while Dum-Dum pinned his left side and Gabriel the other. The soldier cursed on fluent German and Steve growled.

“Gib mir nur einen Grund, dich zu erschießen, nur einen einzigen..” he spat at the soldier, who remained silent except a few curses. Montgomery was running over to Bucky and Tony, crouching.

“Oh God..” he gasped out. Tony coughed blood, giving a pained smile, hands searching for Bucky's. He hoped he'd be alright, as they did. Maybe it was time to tell them? He tried to say something, but Bucky shook his head, eyes suddenly wet. The soldier thought he was dying, well, maybe he was, he couldn't tell. Neither of his hearts beat, or maybe they tried to, but he couldn't feel it. He wondered if the serum would help him at all in this, and if it did, would it help at all?

“J- James..” Tony spluttered, the pain his his chest lessened and his vision grew darker.

“No, no no no no, you'll be fine, come on Tony, you'll be fine..” he sounded so desperate, tears finally falling, rolling down his cheeks, hitting Tony's within a second. Tony ached to confirm he did, but he couldn't, nor could he will himself to reach up and dry the tears. Neither of his hearts was beating. Technically, he should be dead by now. It broke his heart seeing Bucky like this.

“Come on, don't die, please.. please.. I can't lose you Tony..” Bucky pleaded, tears falling.

“Sorry.” Tony spluttered, one hand reaching up for Bucky. Time seemed to stop and for a moment it was all Tony could see, then he blacked out, distantly aware of Bucky's scream.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am running, just to let you know in case you want to chase me for this.. so I have a headstart :D  
> I'M SO FUCKING SORRY!!!
> 
> Translation:  
> Au revoir notre ami français - Goodbye our French friend  
> Hvem er du? - Who are you?  
> Jemand wird glücklich sein, wenn sie ihre Gefangenen zurück bekommen. - Someone's going to be happy when they get their little prisoner back.  
> Gut, dass ich nochmal zurück gegangen bin und nachgeschaut habe, dachte ich mir doch, dass ich dich von irgendwoher kenne. - It's a good thing I decided to go back and check, thought I'd seen you somewhere before.  
> Ich gehe nicht zurück, du Bastard! Was du mir dort angetan hast... - I'm not going back, you bastard! What you did to me there..  
> Oh, du wirst schon wieder zurückgeschickt, du und dein Schwuchtelfreund. - Oh, you're going back alright, you and this faggot of a friend.  
> Wenn hier jemand eine Schwuchtel ist, bist du das, du kranker Wichser! Verpiss dich, ich werde nicht mit dir mitkommen! - If anyone's the faggot, you are, you sick bastard! Fuck off, I'm not coming with you.  
> Sie hätten nicht mit einem anderen Mann zusammen leben sollen, es ist so offensichtlich. - You shouldn't have lived with another man then, it's so obvious.  
> Lass ihn gehen, sofort! - Let him go, now!  
> Warum? - Why?  
> Er hat nichts damit zu tun! - He has nothing to do with this!  
> Das glaube ich wohl kaum. - I don't think so.  
> Leute wie Sie sollte nicht erlaubt sein leben zu dürfen, so wie Hitler es wollte.. - People like you shouldn't be allowed to live, as Hitler want it.  
> Der Bastard geht mir am Arsch vorbei. - I couldn't give a less fuck about that bastard.  
> Verdammter Schwuchtel! Damit werde ich dich erwischen! - Damn faggot! I'll get you for this!  
> Du kannst mich nicht... töten. - You can't.. kill me.  
> Mörder! - Muderer!  
> Gib mir nur einen Grund, dich zu erschießen, nur einen einzigen.. - Give me one more reason to shoot you, just one.


	19. Who am I? I'm Tony Stark, Living in 1948

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Tony shot, what's going to happen?
> 
> Will some truth's come to the light?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I'm so sorry I'm late, two weeks ago, a former school mate (from another country) died in an accident and a week ago my grandfather developed a clot between his elbow and shoulder and didn't get written out from hospital before today.  
> Yeah, sorry, I'm gonna go start the next story okay? This one was awful..

“Stark..” Tony was inwardly proud that he managed to get Fury to a point were he sounded like he'd rather jump of the Hellicarrier in a thong than hearing about his romance with Bucky. Tony snickered, one hand resting on the dog tags on the inside of his shirt, the soft clink of metal against metal reminded him of that moment. That moment when Bucky learned the truth, that moment when Tony laid down the cards and called for truce. He moved his hand down to rest on the ring on his finger. The white and gold a stark contrast to his slight tan and the dark colored clothes he wore. If anyone knew, back then, what that ring meant, they'd both been in trouble, now, in back in his own time, he didn't have to worry.

“I'm not sorry that I've detailed a few my moments with James, we were a pair, that I wont ever stop believing, I think I would've died at one point without those idiots..” Tony chuckled. If Steve heard him say that, he'd hit him in the back of the head and shake his head at him. Tony sighed. A decade had gone by since he'd talked to any of them, even if he wanted to, he couldn't anyway. They were all dead. He was the only one left.

“It's been.. a long time..” he murmured with a sigh, eyes cast down in sadness. He couldn't risk any further depression, after all, that was his curse. Tony sighed, trying to wrap his head around the time line of the two worlds. 75 years he'd been in that world, 75 years of watching those he loved grow old and die, watched the young ones born and grow up, get married and have kids of their own. In this world, merely 75 days had passed.

“Stark, back to the story.” Fury muttered. Tony shook his head, sighing.

“Yeah the story.. uh, yeah, I was shot..”

* * *

 

Tony could faintly hear someone shouting his name. He couldn't quite figure out why, until the stab of pain in his chest had him gasping and arching, his body shooting up into sitting position. The room turned eerily silent, except Tony's gasps for breath, which hurt even more. He could feel blood dripping from his lips, his taste buds covered in the metallic taste. He groaned. At least one of his lungs was punctured by a bullet and by the wet warmth on his back, he'd say the first bullet had gone through. Tony grasped his chest, heaving for breath and gave a grunt before he stopped, turning his head slightly. Bucky was sitting beside him, tears streaming down his face, but by the shocked look on his face, Tony was surprised he was still crying. Montgomery mouth was flapping like a fish' as if he couldn't quite decide wherever to gape and close his mouth. Steve, whose gun was aimed at the German soldier, was obviously faltering, eyes staring at Tony in a way that could only be in a _'something you forgot to tell us mister?'_ kinda way. Tony grimaced. Dum-Dum and Gabriel looked at each other and the German, well, he looked shell shocked, eyes wide as if he couldn't quite get why Tony was, well, alive.

“Uh..” he closed his mouth a second later, speaking and breathing extremely painful. If the serum worked, his lungs would be healed within a day or two, but still, it fucking hurt. Tony grunted, settling one hand on the floor to somehow keep himself up, the other clenched tightly into his shirt, above the second bullet wound. That one hurt the most after all. Bucky took a deep, shaking breath beside him and Tony turned his head slowly, eyeing the soldier. Two seconds later, Bucky quite literally threw himself at him, knocking them both over.

“Oh, hey, ouch, fuck, ow, James.. hey.. ouch!” Tony called out, half in panic, half in happiness. Bucky let out a hysterical laughter and Tony immediately regretted not telling him earlier about his regenerating hearts. He really, really owed them an explanation now. Steve let out a stiff huff before he stood up.

“Bucky, get him patched up, we'll take care of this bastard.” Steve said, giving Tony one glance as Dum-Dum and Gabriel hauled the soldier to his feet. Montgomery stood slowly, staring at Tony like he was an alien -which he kinda was- before he turned to join the others by the door.

“Sie widerliche, hässliche Kreatur! Missgeburt!” the German soldier spat and Tony flinched. He must have flinched pretty hard, because Bucky moved off instantly, hands on his biceps, eyes firm.

“Don't listen to him.” he whispered. Steve did the next best thing, stuffing the soldier's mouth with the but of his gun.

“Halt dein verdammtes Maul! Sie sind der Ekelhafte! Sie Tier!” Steve snarled at the man, who made some sort of gurgling sound and Tony took pleasure in his suffering for that moment. Bucky pulled him to the feet, offering a shoulder to lean on as Dum-Dum and Gabriel dragged the man out of the room and Montgomery grabbed a bat that Tony had no idea was used for and did not want to know where it came from. Steve looked at him and Bucky as the rest left.

“Tell him everything Stark, gott weiß, dass er alles verdient hat, was ihm danach wiederfahren ist.” he said.

“Ja.. d-du hast recht.. danke..” Tony answered, practically drooling blood as the man left. Bucky turned, wrestling them both towards his room and Tony gave a grunt. The moment they were over the threshold, Bucky had him turned, stripping his shirt off of him. Tony cursed lightly when Bucky's hands ghosted over the wounds, sending tingles of pain through his body. Bucky pushed him until the back of his knees hit the bed and he had to sit down. And yet, Bucky hadn't said anything. Tony looked down, avoiding his eyes. If anything, that wasn't what he should do, but he didn't know if Bucky was even going to listen. Even if he knew that, if anyone would listen to him, it was Bucky.

“James?” he asked, looked up at the man, to see him grabbing the first aid-kit on the desk.

“Don't talk..” Bucky muttered and Tony shrunk in on himself.

“Sorry..” he whispered. Bucky placed a chair in front of him and sat down, opening the first aid-kit. Then the soldier sighed, one hand coming up to grab his jaw, turning his face towards his. Tony grimaced, eyes flickering back and forth, searching and trying not to flinch at the disappointed, the relief and the outright happiness in in Bucky's eyes.

“You have no idea how relieved I was when you woke up, when you didn't die, Tony, don't ever, _ever_ , do that to me again!” Bucky's voice was shaking and Tony opened his mouth, going for 'yes' but nothing came and he grit his teeth, closing his eyes. He couldn't promise Bucky that. It was war, they had many years ahead of them, many wars yet to be battled. Tony knew there would personal battles to be fought as well. He shook his head, his throat constricting at the thought of even trying to lie to Bucky. Years back, that was as easy as lying into Fury's face, now, he couldn't bare the thought.

“I'm sorry..” he just mumbled. Bucky shook his head before he released Tony's face and grabbed a roll of bandages. He stopped suddenly, looked at Tony's face then down at his chest. Tony shied away, causing all sorts of pain to rise up his body.

“That second bullet-” Bucky began. Tony gave a grimace.

“Didn't go through..” he wheezed. Bucky cursed and turned back to the first aid-kit. The door opened and Steve stepped through.

“How bad is it?” he asked. Tony grimaced.

“The second bullet didn't go through..” Bucky said, his teeth clenching suddenly. Steve nodded slowly.

“Get it out and patch him up, we've taken care of that soldier, the others are burying him in the woods for now..” he turned to leave again, but stopped on the doorstep.

“That was a high risk to our mission, we've gotta be more careful now, the infiltration starts late June and we need to be able to move freely..” he muttered the last part to himself and Tony gave a grunt, grimacing while one hand traced the edge of the black lid covering the arc reactor. He sighed softly, the pain making him twitch. But he had made his choice now. It was time.

“I'm not human..” he blurted out. Steve stopped abruptly in the doorway, and Bucky dropped the pin he had been holding. Tony grimaced as his mind repeated what his mouth had just let out. Okay, not the best choice of words, start over again.

“Um.. I mean, I'm not.. quite fully human..” Tony flushed at the awkwardness of all of this. Fuck, he was had messed this one up pretty bad. He made a mental note to prepare a better speech for Howard, because damn if he could do this horrible, awkward try-and-fail speech with him, he'd never let him live it down. Steve turned back and closed the door, walked right over to him and Bucky while the brunette's hands grasped at his own pants, clenching tightly.

“What the fuck Stark?” Steve asked.

“Er.. kinda painful to talk.. but I've got no choice.. it's.. it's hard to explain.. but..” he stopped to take a breath and winced at the sharp pain that followed. Bucky shook his head.

“Pretty sure you're human.” he said.

“Uh.. well, yeah.. just.. some parts of my insides aren't.. I shouldn't.. honestly, I shouldn't be alive right now.” Tony admitted. Bucky tensed instantly and Tony pursed his lips. Okay, bad wording considering he nearly died not more than half an hour ago. Bucky stared right at him, eyes hardening and Tony flinched, looking down.

“It's.. I was in an accident.. my heart... collapsed.” he said. Well, he wasn't about to tell them how some aliens opened him up, cut his heart out and put in a pair of new ones, ew, gross, no.

“Collapsed? As in?” Steve's face was blank, but there was some surprise in his eyes.

“I was dead, at least for five minutes.. whatever happened, I.. my heart was too damaged, to save me.. they gave me a new one.. well, two actually..” Tony muttered, drawing short, painful breaths. Bucky's eyes widened and he gaped.

“Wait, what? Two?” he asked. Tony nodded, giving a tiny sigh, and groaned in pain of it.

“It's a long story, not one I'm willing to fully tell yet, at least, let me do that when Howard's around.. God knows.. he's gonna want to hear this.” Tony muttered, grimacing at the pain. A sudden flare of pain in the right side of his chest had him gasping and grasping at his chest. He closed his eyes to somehow ward the pain off. It felt like someone was slowly breaking off a rib. And he knew how getting a rib broken or removed felt like.

“Hey, Tony.. shit..” Bucky cursed before him. Hands landed on his shoulders and too quick for his body, he was pushed to the bed, pressed down. He whimpered, the pain doubling. Another hand landed right beside the second bullet wound and Tony tensed. Right now, he wished the serum didn't work so he could take some pain killers, but it was useless after all.

“This.. is gonna hurt Tony.” Bucky's voice was as tense as he felt, but it was rough on the edge, like he was either about to cry or about to yell, or both, Tony wasn't sure, all he knew was that this was going to hurt like hell.

* * *

 

“Most of my healing, is thanks to the serum Erskine gave me during the POW rescue in 43'.” Tony said, rubbing his chest to somehow ward the uncomfortable feeling off. The bullet was gone, his wounds were stitched up and bandages. The rest of the team was gathered in their respective seats while Tony sat in the chair Bucky usually sat in, the man himself sat on a kitchen chair beside Tony, watching him. Tony swallowed, grimacing at Steve's frown.

“Doctor Abraham Erskine, an amazing man, a German defect.. he had tried to escape Schmidt's captivity and his stupidity, sadly, he got caught and was held at the same facility as you were.” Tony explained, looking at the rest of the Howlers. Dum-Dum nodded absentmindedly, but no one answered.

“It was by chance that I found him when Rogers and I was searching for Bucky, I.. the door was open, strangely enough, I dunno why, I probably wont ever learn why either, but.. Erskine was sitting on a cot in there and I went in, wondering why he was there, I had hoped.. I could save him.” Tony said, sighing softly.

“Why?” Steve suddenly asked, breaking the Howler's silence. The rest nodded in agreement.

“Erskine's work, it's beyond anything anyone could ever understand, and that's what made him so wanted, I said he was a defect didn't I? He defected from Germany, not from anywhere else, he was.. working on a so-called super soldier serum, I think Schmidt wanted to become immortal or something, don't care since he's dead, but Erskine work, it would have worked, but I couldn't save him, if I had, America might have gotten it's first group of super soldiers.” Tony said.

“How do you know that?” Gabriel asked.

“Yeah, he's right, it could've blown right back into his face.” Montgomery stated.

“Well, I'm alive aren't I?” he asked. The surprised looks on their faces was so totally worth this.

“As for me being a 'super' soldier, yes and no, because what he gave me, it wasn't the finalized serum, or I would most likely have bulked out and shit, I wouldn't have gotten any infection and flu's, I wouldn't be able to get drunk, have headaches and that.. human stuff.. and the final serum would have needed vita-rays, which is why I think I heal almost as slow as a normal human.. so I guess you could call me a super soldier light.” Tony said with a shrug before he grimaced.

“His final work literally lives on in me, I guess you could say, of course, no one knows about this.. yes Rogers, don't give me that smug look, Howard knows about the serum, don't you dare tell him on me.” Tony glared halfheartedly at the soldier, who started to grin.

“It still does heal quite well, it's how my amnesia disappeared.. the serum first heals the physical wound, then the mental, as much as it can anyway, that's why I didn't.. die when... Frenchie.. died..” he fell silent, looked down. Bucky's hand landed on his shoulder, gentle and warm, and reassuring.

“The serum doesn't give me much other advantages, as far as I know, if I had gotten the vita-rays, I'd most have gotten stronger, bigger, blah blah yadda yadda.. long story short, it keeps me alive, it just takes a couple of hours and maybe even days depending on the injury to work instead of minutes to hours.” Tony finished, feeling an itch start on the large burns on his arm and leg. It was kinda weird that he hadn't thought about it before. He knew how it worked, serum, vita-rays and 'here, this might hurt, but you'll probably be fine' clap on the back. The captain had been a stubborn ass, still was, and it showed. Tony wasn't sure anyone else would've survived the whole supersoldier-transformation.

“Forgetting something?” Steve asked, one eyebrow raised. Tony glared.

“No, just thinking that's all..” he fell silent again before he gave a sigh. It was hard to think about, if Schmidt had known about his hearts, about the serum, he'd already be on a table, or maybe even received the vita-rays. It scared him to think that he could easily become the new super soldier, something he didn't want to be.

“Why did you jump the guy?” Montgomery suddenly asked. Tony looked up at him, blinking.

“What?” he asked back.

“True, Bucky said you practically attacked him like he was, well.. I don't think I need to say it by the look on your face.” Steve stated. Tony knew his face had been something between dawning horror and a grimace.

“During.. the stay at Romainville, I.. there was a few times I got into trouble, it got really bad, broke a few noses, arms, bit the guards et. cetera, at one point, I developed a.. trigger, dunno if I can use that word as the correct answer, at first I would snap at someone just speaking German, and German soldiers walking about, eventually it just became that trigger, whenever some.. uh, I'm not gonna say it, but.. you know, calling Hitler-thingy?” he asked and they all nodded.

“Mhm.. say that and I'll be flying for the nearest throat, that's what happened.. I.. the guard said it and I attack him, broke his arm, almost tearing it off, then I broke his neck, easily killing him.. that's why I ended up in isolation anyway..” Tony said, sighing.

“Sounds bad..” Gabriel said.

“It is, if you're German, or.. whoever says the words, I will attack anyone, if it was only Nazi's, then I wouldn't worry, but I can be really dangerous like that.. I'm not.. myself..” Tony muttered. Then he took a deep breath, which he let out slowly right away.

“Yeah.. as for me not dying when shot, well, that would come of me having two hearts.” he said, absentmindedly scratching his arm to quell the itch somehow, not that it actually worked. The skin was too sensitive for him to scratch hard so he could barely say he was scratching anyway. The silence in the room following his last statement had him shrinking into the chair. It was weird. He hadn't thought about it before, but he'd been in this world 11 years now, all of in which he has been in the army. Now, here he was, Tony Stark, at the age of 52, living undercover in Norway, in 1948 and battling a war he was never meant to be a part of. And he was telling them that wasn't he? Damn.

“Did you just-” Gabriel stopped himself. Tony grunted, giving a tiny smile.

“Yeah, I did.. I have two hearts actually.. so thanks to that, I survive long enough for the serum to heal the collapsed heart.. I almost died today because the second bullet nearly hit my other heart too.” Tony wasn't about to tell them the bullet had gone through the outer wall of his heart, because then he'd just have more questions to answer, and he didn't want that.

“So, why haven't we heard about that before?” Dum-Dum asked.

“Because I don't want to give them another reason to strap me to a table and dissect me?” Tony asked back and their faces got that grim look on them and Tony knew he'd have their understanding now. No one wanted to be some experiment or guinea pig, and definitely not some dissection project. Bucky's hand on his shoulder tightened. Tony didn't blame him though, he knew the man had gone through his own personal heal in 43 when he had been held at that facility. He just hadn't told anyone what the doctors at Hydra had done to him.

“I don't.. I didn't mean to hide it on purpose..” Tony swallowed. That was one big, black lie.

“I was just.. scared I guess..” he finished.

* * *

 

Tony sighed, curling up against the wall, duvet like a protective shield from the cool wall. For May it was actually really cold, but, they'd been living here nearly two years now, so he was used to the climate. Usually, Bucky would join him, but after that little stunt earlier that day, he hadn't expected the man to do much more than stare after him as he went to bed. He hadn't told anyone where he got his hearts, how or why. Nor had he told Steve and Bucky why he hadn't explained why he wasn't fully human. Eventually he'd have to tell them, even if it terrified him what the consequences could be. Tony was so deep in thought he missed the sound of the door opening and was outright startled when someone sat down on the edge of the bed, hand moving to his shoulder. Tony flinched, turning his head rapidly, only to breathe out hard when he saw it was Bucky and looked away.

“Hi..” he mumbled, trying not to think about how meek he sounded. So unlike him.

“There's still some things you haven't.. explained..” Bucky said. Tony hid his face by pushing himself further against the wall. Apparently the wall wasn't interested in merging with him at the moment. There was some shuffling behind him before the other side of his duvet was forcibly jolted away from his body and Tony squeaked, but startled into a flinch when Bucky got in under the duvet, pushing himself into the bed, front pressed to Tony's back. Tony's mind supplied him with the hilarious statement of being the little spoon. Oh God his insane mind. Thank you very much concentration camp.

“I'm not going to force you, it's obvious the subject isn't something you like talking about, I get that, and I respect it, but I feel like something is wedging between us..” Bucky murmured against his back. If Tony had been standing up, he might have twirled around and protested, but that was kinda hard when you were laying down, pressed between a wall and the hard planes of your lover's body. So he worked his body with a simply squirm until he was somewhat facing Bucky, still not quite turned his way. Bucky's eyes was dark, filled with exhaustion and something akin to hurt. And yeah, that was like a stab right through his heart, or well, both actually.

“I'm sorry.. I.. I knew I'd have to tell you.. but, what I know, who I am, what I am.. if anyone outside this group, outside those few I trust found out.. I might not see anyone again, not you, not Howard, no one, and I'm not going to give them another damn reason to put me in the looney bin, I'm not going anywhere near that place.” Tony said, swallowing the bile of disgust just at the thought of what the people in white would do to him if they knew. Bucky wormed an arm around his waist, warm against what skin peeking out from between the pajamas he wore.

“Tony, c'mere..” Bucky just murmured, practically forcing Tony to turn around all the way until Bucky could press up against him, kissing him, surprisingly soft.

“Mfph-” was all Tony could get out, everything else, Bucky swallowed and suddenly this wasn't all sweet and gentle as it perhaps was meant to be as Tony pressed his hands against Bucky, desperate for more, for approval -and God didn't that make him sound like some lonely submissive Omega or what?- or at least, for some understanding. Bucky's hands moved quickly moving one under the hem of Tony' shirt and across the bandages. The other hand moved down into his pants. Tony moaned, letting the other man completely push him back into a strangely unfamiliar sense of want and need, yet it was one of the most familiar things Tony could ever feel. And maybe he'd rip his wounds open by this, but damn, Tony couldn't find a single fuck to give.

“J-James..” Tony breathed out in short, sharp gasps as Bucky's hand worked over his cock. At this rate, he'd be coming like some virgin teenager having sex for the first time. Tony arched his back, eyes closing tightly as he bit his bottom lip, hands clutching Bucky pajamas.

“F-fuck..” Tony cursed, gasping out as pleasure ran through is nerves. Forcing his eyes opened, he opened his mouth to stutter the other man's name, but instead he cried out, bucking into Bucky's hand as he came, orgasm whitening the corners of his vision. When he came to, he noticed Bucky had one hand down his own pants, jerking. His eyes was wide, staring at Tony, pupils early overtaking the blue of his eyes as he panted out Tony's name, seconds later, he came too, a shudder working through his body.

“I'm still mad at you though..” Bucky murmured, pressing his forehead to Tony's.

“I- yeah..” Tony lowered his eyes, flinching lightly when Bucky withdrew his hand from his pants, gracing the skin of his cock ever so slightly. He wiped his hands on the bedding and pulled Tony closer, ghosting his lips across his.

“You will tell us later, I don't doubt that, because while you hide your troubles and shoulder your burdens alone, it doesn't mean you're not honest.. so we'll focus on Hydra and the go home okay?” Bucky muttered. Tony nodded slowly. How is it, that Bucky, whom he'd know for several years now, could let it go so easily, they were lovers, boyfriends even. Tony writhed in his hold and Bucky pulled away slightly to look at him.

“Tony?” he asked.

“Why?” Tony uttered.

“Why what?” Bucky asked back.

“Why are you letting it go so easily? I've practically lied you straight in the face, you, and the Commando's, even Howard and Steve!” Tony snapped, heat flaring to his face, not in anger, but in shame.

“I'm not letting it go so easily because you are going to explain yourself fully when this mission is finished, and I'm pretty sure you haven't lied about anything, you just never said anything, so it's not a lie, it's a secret.. and it's as they say, a secret is only one when unspoken to another.” Bucky answered, frowning. Tony didn't doubt him, when it came to Bucky, he never did and never would, but he wasn't so sure. Well, it was a secret, true, but he wasn't the only one who knew. Howard knew it, and Steve too, even that damn Schmidt did, but Steve killed him so there was no danger from his end. It was that other secret, the secret of his hearts, of his origins that no one new about. It was scary.

“Bu-” Tony opened his mouth to say something, but Bucky just pressed a finger to his lips and he shut his mouth.

“Don't, Tony, just sleep, we'll manage it somehow, I'm not happy about it, sure, but if it's as serious as you say, then I can't blame you for hiding it, I've seen how some of the doctors even back in camp looked at you when you were turned away, they want to strap you to a table and tear that thing-” he pressed a finger to the arc reactor, startling Tony.

“And they want to find out everything no matter what, what makes you thick, what makes you so good, what makes your brain work, how can you still live with a piece of metal in your chest, but I'm not letting them doing any of those things! You hear me?!” he asked.

“I- yes..” Tony mumbled shortly after, nodding stiffly.

“Good, now sleep..” and with that Bucky pressed his lips to his. Tony just nodded slightly. He hated it. He hated this world. He hated this time. He hated this war. He hated being like this. But he love Bucky, he cares deeply for him, just like he cares for Steve, and Howard and that bunch of Howlers they resided with. It was what kept him sane, kept his foot firmly on the ground. Tony had burdens no one could understand, but he knew, that one day, they'd all come to lightly. His lifespan. His powers. His arc reactor. He dreaded that day so much it made him nauseous thinking about it, but he also looked forward to that day, when someone, like Bucky, willingly stepped in to share the burdens. And Tony was fearing the day more than anything, because he didn't know if they'd stay, if they'd even stand by his side when they knew, when they learned what a human being he is.

* * *

 

As May ended and June fell in on them, the temperature rose a fraction, even if the weather generally stayed gray and dull. Tony spent most of the days doing what he's done since they arrived. Cooking, laundry and all those things he had never been taught when he was young. God bless Jarvis is what Tony would say. Bucky helped him out with most of it, when he could while they all started to make the plan for the infiltration and attack on the Hydra facility. It was, as far as they knew, the last one. Well, at least it was the last _big_ one. Nothing was like knowing what was about to happen and hope nothing went wrong. The many scenarios was what kept Tony up at night, not as much as a certain brunette or nightmares, but it still depraved him of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmm.. yeah, that was a weird chapter, and now you know (second time I think) how long he's gonna be there (or something like that..)  
> Um, yeah, translation:  
> Sie widerliche, hässliche Kreatur! Missgeburt! - You disgusting, ugly being! Freak!  
> Halt dein verdammtes Maul! Sie sind der Ekelhafte! Sie Tier! - Shut your fucking mouth! You are the disgusting one! You animal!  
> Gott weiß, dass er alles verdient hat, was ihm danach wiederfahren ist. - God knows he deserves to know everything after this.  
> Ja.. d-du hast recht.. danke.. - Yes.. y-you're right.. thank you..


	20. Quick And Clear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last Hydra facility. Howling Commando's final mission before going home.
> 
> And what about Tony and Bucky? Anything changed because of Tony's secret coming out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop, finally bringing the new chapter up :D  
> Can't believe there's been no actually character death's in the last few chapters.. 
> 
> Btw, I'm sorry I'm late, I've been in this cabin out in nowhere in a mountain far away.. there's electricity or internet there, so I haven't been able to do much..
> 
> Well, enjoy!

Tony grabbed another onion, starting to peel back the outer layer as Steve came in. Bucky looked up from his spot by the counter, were he was cutting sausages. Tony continued to peel the onion despite it. Not much had changed since Tony's secret came out. Nearly two months had passed since the little titbit, and yet the Howlers treated him the same, teasing him and Bucky now and then, and sometimes they teased Steve too. Even the dirty jokes and perverted chatter hadn't diminished, not that Tony blamed them, it was war, they were all grown up men and he wasn't about to rip down the pin up they had in the basement because of that.

“We're going out tomorrow.” Steve just said and Tony abruptly stopped.

“Time?” he murmured.

“3 am.” Steve just answered as he sat down by the small kitchen table.

“Alright, early to bed then..” Tony turned back to the onion and Bucky picked up the knife to get on with the sausages. The simple kitchen sounds alongside the sound of eggs sizzling in the frying pan took over as Tony turned to start cutting the onion. The rest of the Howlers was staking out the Hydra facility and as far as Tony had gathered, hiding away explosives so that they didn't have to drag it with them in the early hours. Tony knew that they all looked forward to ending this. They wanted to go home, he knew that. Dum-Dum had a wife in the US, Steve had Peggy and most of the Howlers wanted to get a dame before their time ran out. The was a muted rattle from the basement, enough to make them all pause, but then they heard a familiar laugh, Dum-Dum's and they relaxed.

“So, what's for dinner?” Steve asked, obviously trying to ease the tension.

“Risotto.” Tony murmured.

“What?” Steve asked with a tilt of the head. Tony sighed, turning to make sure the egg scramble didn't burn.

“Risotto, Italian dish, although.. not how they make it since I don't have some of the ingredients, but it'll be somewhat the same.” Tony answered with a shrug of his shoulders, turning back to the onions. Steve turned to turn on the radio, startling Tony more than it probably should and he ran the knife into his finger.

“Ouch- fucking shit!” he cursed, letting go of everything in favor of sucking on his finger. Bucky turned, dropping the knife he held and was on him in a split second.

“Let me see.” he urged, grabbing Tony's wrist to get a good look. Tony grunted, pulling his finger out of his mouth to show Bucky.

“It's just a cut Bucky.. nothing serious.” he said. Bucky raised an eyebrow at him and Tony groaned.

“I'll go and get the first aid-kit then.” Steve stated, chuckling at them as he stood and left the room. Tony sighed, tilting his head at Bucky.

“What?” Bucky asked.

“You're a mother hen James.” Tony answered, but he was smiling widely at him. Bucky snorted, chest vibrating with a laughter that didn't escape.

“When my reckless lover has a tendency to hurt himself, yes.” Bucky answered, a grin appearing on his face. Steve walked in right then, chuckling again. Bucky's cheeks flushed lightly and Tony felt his own heat up in the telltale sign of a blush.

“Don't even say it Rogers..” Tony muttered, returning his finger to his mouth.

“I wasn't going to say anything..” Steve said, snickering. Oh he totally were.

“Let's just patch my finger and we'll can get back to the dinner, the eggs are burning.”

* * *

 

29th June 1948, 3:02 o'clock in early dusk, the Howling Commando's left their house in Høybakken to take down the last Hydra facility. The facility itself was hidden away in the mountains past Botngård, the administrative center of Bjugn. Sneaking through bush and forest to avoid anyone was surprisingly easy and the only living creatures they met was deers and a ton of insects. The walk took more than 2 hours, but by then, they'd reached Kotenget and took off on a side-road. As soon as they neared, they split up. Tony, Steve and Dum-Dum took off to one side while Bucky, Montgomery and Gabriel took of to another side of the facility. Tony knew they'd infiltrate the guards, which wasn't hard looking at the uniforms Hydra wore, pretty lousy. Tony stared right ahead as Steve and Dum-Dum took each their side of the compromised fence, courtesy of Montgomery and Gabriel's earlier visits. The moment the two men moved the haphazardly faked fence away, Tony scrambled inside, body tense, alert and ready. The other two came in after him. Neither of them talked, not that they needed to, the plan was set and starting, following instructions set at dinnertime a day earlier while eating that damn risotto. Sneaking past Hydra guards, they reached the first structure, which was a shed. Tony, with the help of Steve, got up onto the roof and hunched over, watching the guards movement, the few trucks driving around and for any sort of extra security. They'd mapped out the security cameras they knew of, but that didn't mean there weren't more. Tony was the best in the field, and he hadn't been out of the field for a while. Silently crawling back to the edge, Tony dropped down on the ground beside Dum-Dum and Steve.

“No camera's that I can see, but I have something in case there is one.” Tony whispered, pulling out a small item, about the size of a pen. The two men nodded, not asking because frankly, Tony didn't think they cared or had the time to. Steve motioned for them to continue. The sky began to grow lighter, as much as it would when you're in the country of the midnight sun, in the middle of the summer when the sun is at it's highest. Sneaking behind the shed, Steve abruptly stopped, stalling the other two as well. Tony frowned, until he heard the Hydra-issue boots in the soft gravel and started to move backwards. Instead the boots turned and started to disappear again. Tony held his breath, waiting for orders, waiting to continue or attack.

“Move.” Steve hissed and suddenly they were silently moving across the open lot, trying to move as fast as possible and make no sound whatsoever. Just as they turned the corner, Tony hissed and Steve stopped, Dum-Dum following. Tony pulled out the pen-sized object and pointed it towards the upper part of the second floor. Squinting his eyes, Tony pushed a small, barely obvious button and a red dot appeared right beside the small security camera, moving slightly, the dot hit the camera and Tony nodded at the two men.

“Move, we don't have long.” he hissed.

“What the-” Steve whispered.

“I blinded the camera using infrared light, very effective, but they'll notice it soon so we have to move.” Tony whispered, grabbing the rope he had fastened to the belt and handed it to Steve, who nodded and began unfolding the rope. Getting up onto the second floor, was a bit harder than they thought, but they got up eventually. Tony crouched, waiting for the light of the security tower to move away and then he sprinted across to the door of the huge building. The facility was divided into two major structures. One held the machinery and the other had the offices where the plans were made. There was a smaller building, just one floor high that connected the two. There were a few barracks that the Hydra guards slept in and, as earlier, a few shed's, but the facility itself was the target this time. Tony pulled out two metal strings and started to play with the lock. The telltale click of the lock was enough and Tony carefully opened it, inch by inch, once he was sure no one would notice, he waved for the other two.

“It safe.. for now.” he whispered as loud as he could without it getting too loud, then he quickly moved over the threshold. Tony stopped, right beside a cardboard box when he noticed a guard walking about. He pulled out the knife from the holster that was fastened around his thigh and slowly moved towards the man, hoping he wouldn't notice. Tony licked his lips, watching the guard intently, waiting like a predator for his pray to fall into a false sense of safety, then he lunged. Tony threw himself at the unsuspecting guard, startling him. The guard didn't have time to react when Tony stabbed him, the knife tearing through the hood of the uniform and right into his neck. The guard gurgled before he went limp. When Tony let go of him, Steve and Dum-Dum was there, grabbing him and pulling him off to a dark corner. They had a good hour before a new guard came to relieve the other one and noticed the dead guard. Tony cleaned the knife and tucked it into his holster.

“Okay, this is were it really begins..” he muttered. Moving towards the door that lead to the stairs, Tony noticed there was a surprising lack of posters and whatnot hanging on the walls. Usually there would be posters that promoted Hitler and the Nazi-reign, or at least some sort of sick shit, but there was nothing, not even a map. It proved just how bad the war was going for the German's. Hitler was hiding away somewhere in the mountains of Germany, and no one knew if it was lie or not, for all they knew, he could already be dead and so mad general ruling in his place. Most of Europe had suffered at the hands of the Nazi-reign and pulled out of the war. If Tony was lucky, it'd end really, really soon because if he remember right, there was a new war waiting at the doorstep in Asia. Down the stairs and in behind the big machinery, Tony pulled his backpack off while Steve and Dum-Dum stood guard. Pulling out a black box about the size of a book, he put it in between two machines and pushed a button. It clicked on and series of numbers appeared, then the light turned green and the numbers disappear from the small screen. Tony nodded to the two and pulled the backpack on before they silently moved towards the doors leading to the next, open hall for the last box. Right before one of the doors, Steve froze. Tony looked past him and shrunk in on himself when he saw a German officer standing there, talking in rapid German to the Hydra guards.

“What are they saying?” Dum-Dum whispered.

“Something about deadline, they need new artillery..” Tony hissed, waiting for Steve to tell them what to do. Steve frowned before he motioned with his hand to find another way in. Tony went one way, Dum-Dum the other, both checking for a new door while avoiding the guards in the room. Tony noticed an air vent by the floor, surprisingly large, and surely large enough for him so he gave a sharp wave at Steve, telling him he found a way and was going. Steve got this annoyed look on his face when Tony went ahead with talking about it first. Talk about deja-vu.

“Hm..” he hummed softly and he eyed the vent. Prying the cover of the vent off, he pulled his backpack off, pulled out the black box and hid the backpack in between some machines. Crawling into the vent, he silently made his way through the vent. Eventually he reached the other end, trying the cover, he found it locked, but Tony wasn't without means, he pulled out the knife on his thigh and started to press against the screws on each corner. He curses silently when one of the screw fell off with a loud 'snick', but the German officer and the Hydra guards was still arguing, and getting louder by the minute so they didn't notice. As soon as he loosened the cover, he get out and snuck around the machinery, awaiting the right moment the pounce across the room. When the Hydra guards advanced on the annoyed officer, Tony took his chance and sprinted across the room. In a split second, he was on the other side, hidden in the safety of the darkness. It took him a few minutes to place the box and turn it on.

“Wo bleiben die Waffen? Wir brauchen hier dringend welche!” the officer snapped and Tony smirked to himself. Well, those weapons would never arrive once the Howlers were done with the facility. Sneaking across the room once more, he carefully crawled into the vent, not bothering with putting the cover back on. As soon as he reach the other end, he got out, grabbed his backpack and moved to where Steve and Dum-Dum were hiding.

“Stark..” Steve hissed, glaring at him. Tony shrugged.

“Neither of you would have fitted in the vent!” he whispered back harshly before he sighed.

“He's got a point..” Dum-Dum agreed, shrugging his shoulders.

“Sta-” Steve began, but the brunette cut him off with a shake of his head.

“Nevertheless, it's in place, let's get the hell out of there!” he hissed and Steve puffed his chest, then he nodded stiffly.

“Alright.” he agreed with a low voice.

* * *

 

Getting out again, that was another deal entirely. They'd managed to do main part of the mission in half an hour, which was probably a new record. It also gave them a good thirty minutes to escape before anyone noticed. Gabriel, had for his part, killed a guard and taken his place, pretending to be him for the time being, which worked thanks to the ridiculous suits. Tony had moved carefully, following Steve and Dum-Dum back to the meeting point for the Howlers. When they arrived, about half an hour later and immediately, he spotted the rest of the team right away. Gabriel was standing by one tree together with Montgomery, both as stiff as the tree they were leaning against. Bucky was sitting on a stump a few feet away, just as tense as the two standing soldiers. Their arrival had the three men looked up and over at them, ready to leap if it was German officers.

“It went well?” Montgomery asked. Steve snorted.

“With Stark? It was a done deal even before we stepped onto the lot.” he answered, a ghost of a smirk on his face. Tony was surprised Steve said that. Looking at him, Tony saw the pride and amusement in the blue eyes. Well, wasn't that a shocker, he hadn't expected Steve to be so outright proud at him blowing up a place, or, even proud of him, but damn, it made him happy nevertheless. Bucky too, had a similar, but stronger expression of his face, a fond smile breaching his pale face when Tony looked at him.

“Alright, let's blow the facility up and get the hell outta here!” Steve said and everyone agreed, nodding stiffly. Tony and Bucky pulled out each their small box, with two buttons on each. Tony looked up at Bucky and gave a tiny smile, then he nodded and Tony grinned.

“Ready?” Bucky asked, grinning almost manically.

“Oh yes.” Tony answered, looking over at Steve, who gave a final nod.

“Bottoms up.” Tony declared as he and Bucky pushed a button each. The loud explosions behind them, just a minute later, had Tony's insides singing in joy in a twisted way. Steve nodded at them again and Tony pushed the second button at the same time as Bucky and a second set of explosions rang a minute later. Tony put the tiny box back into his backpack and Bucky mimicked his moves. As soon as they had their backpacks on again, Steve straightened.

“Okay, let's go!” Steve called and suddenly they were running, as fast as they could down the hillside and home.

“I sincerely hope you're making something good for this!” Gabriel shouted at Tony, who, for some reason, couldn't stop the laughter bubbling up his throat. And suddenly everyone was laughing while they ran through the forest, maybe a bit over the edge of manic, but damn, they'd just taken down the last Hydra facility. Tony stumbled a bit, but he caught himself just in time, running closer to Bucky, who was barking, looking ready to keel over from laughing so hard. Tony gave a snort and grinned at Gabriel.

“Whatever you want man.” he called back as they started to slow, reaching the end of the forest. The trip back, would be more dangerous than the trip to or into the facility, because now the place would be steaming with Nazi-soldiers and Hydra-guards. Tony looked over at his lover, noticing the fond, proud expression on his face. Bucky's eyes shone with pride, and an expression that had Tony stuttering and heating up. Oh yep, he was totally getting laid tonight.

“Oh God, stop ogling Stark Bucky, as if you two don't shag enough already.” Steve called out and with that, Bucky ran right into a tree.

* * *

 

“Man, I can't believe we're finally done! No more Hydra!” Gabriel cheered, beer held high in front of him. The rest agreed by clinking their own beers to his. Several of them, Tony included, snickered, watching as Gabriel took a large sip of his beer. Tony took a sip himself before he sat the beer down.

“Gotta say, it feels good to be done.. glad I don't have to think more about it.” he agreed, smirking. The late, summer sun shone through the windows and at the men that sat in the living room, celebrating the missions success. In the early morning, around 8.30 am, they'd returned home. Tony and Bucky both showered while the rest of the Howlers carefully tucked away the equipment and preparing for a long day while the rest of the Howler's hid away in the basement. The German's made a visit about noon, not even trying to hide that they didn't think an elderly man and his son could've done the harm to Hydra, besides, they'd befriended most of the officers who passed the town and Tony was sure, despite his dislike for Nazi's, that they wouldn't put one hand on them. He was very right. After that, Steve had contacted the US army through the British army and plans were made to leave within a week. Tony and Bucky started preparing for a big dinner to celebrate. Without using all the food they had of course, Tony dished up quite the meal for the group with the help of Bucky. Though they were careful with how much, they had to have some food for the remaining week after all.

“Just a few more days huh..” Tony hummed, looking up at the ceiling, a small smile on his face. He looked forward to seeing Howard again, and Jarvis too. If anything, Tony really missed Jarvis' food. While he, himself had gotten somewhat good at it, no one could cook like Jarvis, if you could, you were God. As for family, most of the Howlers didn't have any. Dum-Dum had his wife, Gabriel had a sweetheart waiting for him and he didn't doubt that Steve looked forward to seeing Peggy.

“And in a week, we'll most likely be sitting in an office in Britain, waiting for the plane home.” Steve said.

“Looking forward to seeing a certain dame?” Tony teased, chuckling. He took another sip of the beer, exchanging grins with Bucky. Somehow, that tiny glance at each other, had Steve fully aware that Bucky wanted to fuck Tony to the brink of insanity. Tony too was aware of it, but he didn't mind, in fact, he'd rather complain he wasn't already doing it. The captain groaned, dragging a hand over his face.

“Oh drop it!” he snapped, but with no real harshness in it.

“He's just envious that he doesn't get laid.” Dum-Dum pointed out and Steve groaned loudly.

“You're not the only one having someone waiting for you Rogers..” Tony added.

“You can't complain, you've got yours with you right now.” Steve just stated and Tony flushed without wanting to. He hated it when he blushed, it was awkward, totally out of character for him and so unfair. Bucky too, colored pretty well, but neither of them protested on it, after all, it was true. Tony decided that was a good time to empty his bottle of beer.

“At least I get laid.” he said once he sat the bottle down on the table. Bucky smirked at him while the rest stared at him, a moment if silence before Dum-Dum started laughing, soon the rest followed, except Steve. The captain just gaped as the Howler's laughed themselves to pain and tears. Bucky gave a nod, still smirking at Tony, who smirked back, smug and happy.

* * *

 

Tony hadn't hit the mattress before Bucky was there, hands fumbling to touch all of Tony at once, not that Tony didn't. Tony gave a breathless laugh, one that was swallowed up by Bucky as the two fought a battle with their tongues. Tony was glad they'd shed their clothes the moment they got into the bedroom because by how clingy they were, it'd get really hard to remove any sort of clothing. Tony gasped and moaned when one of Bucky's hand wormed it's way down between his thigh's, making him spread his thigh's instinctively.

“J-James..” he gasped out between kisses. Bucky pulled away, hovering an inch or so above him.

“I love you..” Bucky murmured as he spread Tony's thigh with one hand. Settling between, he grabbed Tony's cock, making him groan and arch, head falling back against the pillow. Bucky grinned, started to move his hand, stroking Tony's cock while his free hand ran up his side, across his chest and down again.

“I..” Tony gasped out, stalling Bucky for as little as a split second.

“What Tony? What do you want?” Bucky asked, letting go of Tony's erection in favor of caressing the insides of his thigh's. Tony gave another gasp before he squirmed and moaned.

“Shit- I.. I want..” he gave a breathless chuckle before he sat up, wrapping his arms around Bucky's neck.

“Either fuck me up against the wall or let me ride you, God, James- I want.. I just want you-” Tony whined, Bucky's eyes darkened, his pupil's dilating and a groan escaping his slightly parted lips. A moment later, he moved both of them so that when he stilled and leaned back, he fell back against the bedding were Tony had been just a minute ago before he grinned.

“Well?” he teased, raising an eyebrow. Tony grinned, straddling Bucky as fast as he could.

“Hm, need it nice and wet don't we?” he wondered out loud as he moved a bit more back, then leaned down, just barely an inch over Bucky's jutting cock before he licked over the head. Bucky groaned, hips jerking in surprise.

“Sh- fuck! Tony-” Bucky cut himself off as Tony moved down, taking the head into his mouth, roughly rubbed his tongue against the slit of his cock. Relaxing his jaw, Tony took more of Bucky's cock, licking, sucking and swallowing around the hard shaft. Moaning in appreciation, Tony took all of his cock till it rubbed against the back of his throat, making him gag slightly. Bucky's hips jerked, thrusting just so that his cock rubbed against his throat and Tony just moaned, gagging and drooling.

“F-fuck- gonna-” Bucky groaned. Tony pulled back then, releasing his cock with a slick 'pop' before he sat up, smirking smugly down at his lover. The younger man gave a displeased groan, shuddering lightly, then opening his eyes, finding his own. Tony straddled him right after, Bucky's own hands finding his.

“Tony..” Bucky let out a long breath, hands stroking Tony's. Rubbing against Bucky, Tony moaned when his cock rubbed against his ass, catching in the rim every now and then. Bucky moved his hand behind him, reaching up to press a finger against him. Tony gasped and fell forward, his arms on Bucky's chest, keeping him somewhat up as his lover pushed a single finger into him, then slowly added a second, using the natural slick to get Tony more stretched and Tony loved it.

“Ahn, J-James-” Tony groaned, shuddering when Bucky's fingers graced his prostate.

“Fuck, you feel so good, no matter how many times we do it and you're always so damn tight.” Bucky muttered hotly into his ear. The genius whined, every nerve in his body overly sensitive and making him ache for more.

“I.. want- please, I want you.. now-” Tony whined, shuddering. Bucky groaned, removing his fingers so quickly Tony twitched. The brown eyed man moved so he was straddling Bucky's crotch again before he moved his hand behind him, holding Bucky's cock up as he raised himself slightly, then sank down on Bucky without any finesse. Slightly dry, a bit painful, but hot and so good. Tony shuddered, having to take several shaking breaths as he slowly got used to his lover's cock. Bucky's back arched and his head fell back, a loud groan escaped his now open mouth. Tony smirked, rolling his hips. The sudden motion had both gasping.

“Shi- f- Tony-” Bucky gasped out, eyes shut tightly and hands firm on Tony's thigh's.

“Feels good, like this.. you're so deep- ah? Mm- ahn!” Tony moaned when Bucky's hips jerked.

“Chri-” Bucky didn't even finish, just moved his hands, grabbing Tony's hips and lifting him up slightly. Their muscle strength had never had much difference, much like their height, but Tony was still thin, still lesser in weight. Tony went willingly, knee's moving to adapt, but startled when Bucky's hips jerked up, thrusting into him. Tony moaned loudly, meeting the soldier's sharp thrust every time.

“Ja-James!” Tony moaned, back arching as one particularly deep thrust sent his mind reeling into the gutter. He fell forward slightly, hands landing on Bucky's shoulders as rode him, unable to stop, not wanting to stop. Bucky's thrust remained sharp and deep, not just gracing his prostate, but hitting it and abusing it severely. Tony gave a whine, hips jerking.

“D-deep.. feels so go-good! James- Ahn!” Tony gasped, moaning loudly when Bucky's hips jerked up, faster now. The genius' hands moved from his lover's shoulders and down to his arms, clinging as he approached the edge. Pleasure was making his mind fuzzy, and he couldn't quite get his mouth to work words, only sounds and Bucky's name, pleading and whimpering for more, for that final thrust.

“Tony- shi-” Bucky cursed, eyes closing tightly as he groaned. His hands tightened on Tony's hips, surely bruising him. Then he pulled Tony down, sharply and stopped. The older man gave a loud moan, twitching as Bucky's hips gave sharp, small aborted thrusts and then stuttered to a stop.

“P-pleas- I- I need-” Tony groaned, unable to finish anything he started in words. Bucky, on the other hand, must have known anyway. One hand moved behind, moving two fingers across Tony's rim, right were they were connected whilst his other hand moved to stroke Tony's cock.

“Ah! J-James!” Tony gasped, shuddering. The two fingers against his rim pushed suddenly, pressing in beside his shaft and the genius gave a high pitched moan, body tensing at the oncoming orgasm. Bucky's thumb stroked harshly across the slit of his cock and that was it. Tony whimpered, body going tight as a string before the orgasm hit him. Bucking against the onslaught of pleasure, Tony moaned, unable to do anything but shudder. It didn't take him long to fall down onto Bucky's chest, both heaving for breath. Bucky's fingers remained inside him, alongside his cock and Tony gave a happy noise, pressing soft, short kisses against Bucky's chest.

“H-hey.. that tickles.” Bucky muttered, so Tony did it more and didn't stop until the younger man moved his fingers, stretching his rim and dragging his nails against his insides. It had Tony shuddering and gasping.

“I'm.. gonna get aroused.. a-again if you don't stop..” Tony warned and the other man smirked.

“Maybe I'd want that?” he mused. Tony raised an eyebrow, a smirk slowly making it's way onto his face.

“You'd like that wouldn't you?” he drawled, ghosting his lips across Bucky's jaw, down to the crock of his neck, were Tony bit down, making Bucky groan and his hips jerk. Tony licked the slight welts from the bite before he sat up, licking his lips. Bucky's fingers returned to Tony's thigh's squeezing lightly and pushing his hips up. Tony groaned, arching his back to the pleasure sprinting through his nerves as he started to grow hard again.

“James..” Tony whined, rolling his hips. Tony could feel the moment Bucky's cock grew hard.

“Fuck- I can feel-” Tony cut himself off, the feeling of Bucky's dick stretching him more than enough to make him feel full and good. Bucky used his hands to move Tony back and forth, just enjoying it before he got Tony to move, now rising and the pulling him down fast and sharp. The genius just moaned, taking it without a complaint and arching his back, trying his hardest to move faster.

“Nhah.. J-Ja- ah- more!” Tony moaned, shuddering as Bucky started the thrust his hips up, meeting Tony halfway. It didn't take long for Tony to start whimpering, twitching at every movement. Bucky on the other hand, just continued to move, his hands leaving Tony's thigh's to grab his hip, pulling him down sharply, thrusting up into him, lost in the motion. The younger man's eyes were closed tightly, mouth slightly agape as low groans and louder moans escaped him, fueling Tony's pleasure.

“Fu- gonna come..” Tony gasped out, hands flailing, but not really grabbed onto anything as he rode Bucky, sinking down on him at every thrust the soldier made. Bucky made no sign of slowing down, or helping to fuel Tony's orgasm, except fastening his pace, snapping his hips up in an almost frantic pace. The older sergeant moaned, then gave a choked of sob, pleasure spiking and doubling. All to sudden, he bucked, orgasm hitting him dead on. However, he hadn't expected Bucky to just about lift him up, thus his cock left him. That, alongside the orgasm, sent a reeling rush of emptiness and he gave a whine.

“Buc-” Tony didn't get far as Bucky suddenly let him go, moving just so that when Tony sank down, his cock slipped into him again. With just the head inside, Bucky grabbed his hips again and held him as he thrust his hips up. Tony gave a startled shout, every nerve to oversensitive for him to hold on to Bucky's dick. Not long after, Bucky dragged him down into his lap again, holding him still and the brunette gave a loud groan. After a few seconds, Bucky moved so he slipped out of him

“Fuck.. did you just-” Bucky cut him off with a rough kiss. Tony just kissed him back, happy to avoid wasting his breath talking. Once they parted, both gasped for breath, laying still and just pressing their foreheads together.

“I love you Tony, so much.” Bucky murmured, smiling fondly up at Tony.

“I love you too James..” Tony answered, grinning back at him and the two moved so Bucky could tuck them in. It was weird, in a wicked way. Years ago, Tony wouldn't even have tried to do this, much less with another man. He'd thought he'd stay loyal to Pepper, and now, years later, she rarely crossed his mind. That was rude, but he couldn't help it. He was stuck here. He was sure, if he lived long enough, he'd most likely meet her again, but Tony was well aware she wouldn't fall for him, not this present him. And to be honest, she'd be downright pissed off if he didn't move on, or at least try to be a little happy, not just for him, but for both of them. The Avengers, Shield, Pepper, Rhodey and Happy, even the world thought he was dead. They'd move on, Pepper would still be CEO at Stark Industries, but he hoped she'd fall in love with someone else, someone who could make her as happy as he was with Bucky. Though he still loved Pepper, he loved Bucky more.

“If I got the chance to go back.. I don't think I would have gone..” he thought, falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmm, dunno if Bucky's had a blowjob yet, he deserves one.
> 
> Translations:  
> Wo bleiben die Waffen? Wir brauchen hier dringend welche! - Where are the weapons? We need some here urgently!


	21. Nothing Like Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Return to camp and a wedding.  
> Also, Fury's lost the last fucks to give.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God, I'm so sorry *weeps* I'm terribly late, the last part of this chapter had me completely stumped and I haven't written anything for months.... ugh!!!  
> So, late and small chapter it is..
> 
> please forgive me..

“Did you just-” Tony waved Fury off, making the single-eyed man's eyebrows pinch together, annoyance was clear on his face, which wasn't unusual when it came to Tony. No one annoyed the Shield director more than Tony Stark.

“Yes, I did.. to be honest, by that time, I'd already given up on returning, not typically me I know, but I was happy, though my secret was on it's way into the light, I had someone loving me, I had a family, small, but still a family.. I didn't know so many people would be affected by my 'death', not.. on such a level..” Tony said, falling silent for a second. That year, no, those years following their time in Norway, had been better than any earlier years in his long life.

“It never occurred to you to try and get back?” Fury asked, crossing his arms. Tony groaned.

“Oh come on, you think I didn't try? The technology back then was absolutely horrible, of course, I tried, I asked the Deshainn, I searched, even during world war two.. I missed my chance when Steve kept me from calling out to Thor.” Tony said, giving a shrug. He didn't hold any grudge on the deceased ex-soldier though. The man had suffered just as much as the rest of the team, except maybe in the last moments of his life and Tony never once thought bad of him. It was thanks to him and Howard that Tony scored the love of his life after all. If anything, Tony honored his dead friends and family by continuing to live, never looking back. He'd never break his promise to Steve, a promise to look towards the future and live for the fullest.

“I tried later too of course, but by the time everyone was slowly dying of.. I sort of just.. forgot, well, maybe not forgot per see, I just.. stopped looking, stopped wishing.” Tony finished and licked his lips. What had happened, all the things, not all came out, it was his life after all. Fury didn't need to know everything and all the pain, the suffering and torture, the self-inflicted pain when he lost Bucky. No, he didn't need to talk about it, he'd done so enough already. Tony was sure he'd talked enough holes through therapist's head's already.

“But, I stand by what I thought, if given the chance, I wouldn't have gone back.. I wouldn't have left James, nor the team or Howard, they weren't just army-buddies, they weren't just a part of the team, they were my family, my brothers, not by blood, but by choice! Even..” Tony cut himself off, aware his voice was cracking on him.

“Even if..” he tried again.

“Even when they started dying one by one, they were my family, my friends, they never gave a second thought about protecting me, nor did I if I had to protect them, just like I never thought twice about jumping in the way of a gun pointed at Howard, or even Anthony.” Tony said, getting some resemblance of calmness in his voice again. To be honest, all Tony wanted to do, was to just stop talking and just sleep, but no, he needed to tell this, tell his story, the story of a man who'd seen people younger than him grow old, die and perish, people born almost a century later grow older, almost older than him. The world didn't need to know, but they, Shield, the Avengers, Pepper, Happy and Rhodey, most of all, Rhodey and Pepper, deserved to know, to hear it. He took a deep breath, steeling himself.

“1948 huh.. feels like hundred years have passed since, even if it hasn't..” he murmured, then he sighed, shaking his head, looking up at Fury, determined to finish this tale.

“As the month came to an end, I thought that maybe this would end the war, or at least make the German's pull out of Norway.. I was wrong, but something good came out of it at least, I don't berate Steve for searching for happiness, and finding it.”

* * *

 

Nothing beat walking into a allied camp, watching other soldiers scurry by. Sure, coming home would beat anything, mostly if you had someone waiting for you, but coming back onto your own country's land, was the best. On the fifth day of July, they'd all gone up and left Norway. It didn't even take a week to reach England, were they stayed for about two days before they took express plane to US. In less than two weeks, Tony walked into the camp with the rest of the Howling Commando's, or at least, those who remained. The house in Norway, was still owned by Tony and would be as long as he wanted to for all anyone knew, what bugged him, was that Jim and Frenchie was still buried at the church in Norway, there was no saying how long they'd have to wait to get them home. 18th July, Tony could finally dump his backpack onto the floor in their barracks, Bucky mimicking his move before he stretched, giving a loud groan.

“Damn.. it's good to be back.” the brunette said, flopping down on one of the beds.

“Sure, if you like sharing showers, dining hall and living-space with 50 or more men.” Tony said with a shrug, grinning when Bucky gave him a halfhearted glare.

“Oh sush.” he called, getting up to pin Tony against the wall beside the door. Usually, they wouldn't be so obvious during day, much less in a camp, but the curtains were closed and so was the door so Bucky took the chance. Once pinned, Tony just stared right into Bucky's eyes, both smiling playfully.

“Shouldn't you be making your bed soldier?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement when Bucky snorted.

“I'd just rumple it up right away anyway..” he murmured, leaning in to nip at Tony's earlobe and the sergeant stifled a groan, unable to keep from shuddering. If anything, his hands on Tony's hips, was telltale, but when you're in boot camp, daily escapades are just about impossible. Even more so when you're sharing barracks with a good four other men.

“Ja-James..” Tony tried, but Bucky just pressed his lips against his, effectively shutting him up. Tony couldn't stop the moan even if he wanted to, not that it matter, Bucky swallowed it anyway. Bucky's hold on him tightened as the kiss deepened and Tony shuddered, growing weak against Bucky's advances and by now, just clinging onto him with trembling hands.

“Stark, Bucky.” if Steve had meant to come in right now, he didn't let it on, in fact he froze, stared, then facepalmed and groaned.

“Can't you wait till night?!” he complained, taking a deep breath. Tony hid his face by pressing it into the crock of Bucky's neck while his lover just chuckled, grinning at the blonde man.

“Why, anything wrong?” Bucky teased and Steve groaned.

“James..” Tony muttered, fingers digging into Bucky's sides. Thank you for bony fingers. The brunet grunted and backed off, though hesitating for several seconds. One of Steve's eyebrows rose and he put both hands on his hips, then he shook his head.

“You two..” he muttered as Bucky massaged his sides, pouting. Tony grinned before he turned to Steve.

“So, what's up?” he asked. Steve stared at him like he was growing a second head and Tony suddenly remembered Norway, when the rest of the team learned he had two hearts. He still owed them an explanation.

“Dbriefing, thought you got that.” Steve said, then he sighed.

“Ten minutes, be there.” then he left, shaking his head. Tony watched him go, tilting his head, he smiled lightly. Bucky went back to the bed, making it and Tony turned towards him. The brunet looked up and stopped.

“What you smiling about?” he asked, a smile of his own making it's way onto his face. Tony smiled more, then shook his head.

“Rogers' gotten softer..” he murmured. Bucky just stared at him before he let out a chuckle.

“Yes, that he has.” the soldier answered.

“I fear his fiance has something to do with it though..” Tony absentmindedly added.

“Oh yes, there's no doubt about that.” the other man answered, laughing. Tony watched him finishing up making his bed. It was weird how used he'd gotten to this, getting up early, eating at normal hours and getting to bed at a very normal hour. It was the very opposite of how Tony was back in his own world. Funny that way. There was so many things that differed him from how he used to be. Tony Stark in 2012 was sloppy, sleep deprived, he'd eat at random times throughout the day, and sometimes forget what eating even was. Tony would work around the clock for days and most of those times, he'd collapse at the desk. Tony Stark in 1948 went to bed at curfew and got up at revelry. He followed the same rules as the rest, with a certain amount of 'I can't find the fuck's to give' and an occasional 'fuck the rules'. He'd eat four times a day, courtesy of Jarvis' nagging and his doctor telling him to keep to his diet or so help him. Tony looked over to the window. He missed his workshop, he missed his boots and he missed Jarvis, he missed everyone he cared for, but he stood firm on his decision, he wouldn't go back now. He was, despite the previous years' sometimes horrible situations, happy.

“So, you think they're gonna marry soon?” Bucky voice caught his attention and he looked over to see Bucky sitting on the edge of the bed, watching him.

“Hm? Who?” Tony asked, confused.

“Steve and Peggy..” Bucky said, chuckling. Tony tilted his head slightly to the side, then he gave a firm nod.

“Yeah, don't see why not.” Tony answered, watching as Bucky stood up. Coming over, Tony was startled when Bucky suddenly pulled at the chain to his dog tags till he managed to get them up from underneath Tony's shirt.

“Bucky?” he asked as Bucky looked at his dog tags, then let them go before he pulled his own out from under his shirt. A couple of seconds later, he had unfastened his chain and pulled off one of the tags, which he gave Tony. The genius knew why, he wasn't stupid. It wasn't a common way to show a secret relationship, but still.

“Wh-what?” Tony asked, blinking at him. Bucky gave a shrug.

“Having something of mine on you.. it reminds me this is real, that you're mine..” Bucky said and for the first time in months, Tony felt his hearts throb almost painfully, not like when he was shot or when he told Bucky he wasn't fully human. This was a warm, painful and firm throb that reminded him why he fell for Bucky in the first place and he felt his face heat up.

“James..” he breathed out, then he smiled and pulled his own dog tags off and gave one to Bucky as well. Bucky blinked at him.

“It would be weird if I had three and you only one..” Tony blurted out, unsure of what else to say.

“Yeah.. there's that..” Bucky agreed, then he chuckled and took the small piece of metal and Tony took the one Bucky handed him. Once on the chains, the two men fastened them around their necks again. Tony was damn sure he was grinning like a loon at Bucky, but then again, the brunet gave an equally silly grin back at him. As Buck turned to whatever he had in his mind, Tony grabbed him by the neck and pulled him closer, kissing him full on the lips. The younger man didn't even try to protest, just wrapped his arms around him and pressed their bodies together. Tony wasn't about to let go any moment, nor did Bucky seem inclined to so Tony took his chance and wrapped his arms around his neck, tilting his head slightly to deepen the kiss. It didn't take long for Bucky to take command, pushing against him, pressing him up against the wall and Tony pulled away slightly.

“Rogers said ten minutes Bucky.. nha-” Tony groaned as Bucky pressed a thigh between his, rubbing roughly. The genius shuddered, clinging as he drew in short gasps of breath.

“Don't.. care.” Bucky answered, as breathless as Tony was.

“Neither do I.. but seriously- we- J-James..” he groaned when Bucky pushed against him, lips going for his. No, he definitely didn't mind and he didn't want to stop, but as always, the universe was a dick and loved to cockblock Tony.

“I swear if you two don't come right now I'll fucking cut your dick's off, get out here!” Steve snapped through the door and the two broke apart so fast Tony almost hissed. Bucky took a few seconds to catch his breath.

“Ye-yeah, coming Steve.” he called back, looking at Tony, who stared back.

“You better.” then Steve's military boots clicked away from the door. There was a moment of silence before the two broke out laughing. This whole ordeal was so awkward and funny that Tony couldn't help it. He was hard as a rock and Bucky too, but he didn't care.

“Come on..” Tony said, trying to straighten up without being to obvious about sporting a hard on.

“Yeh, just- um need to take care of.. something..” Bucky muttered behind him and Tony grinned.

“Just picture something nasty.. Hitler or something..” well, that had him soft again pretty quickly, and by Bucky's face, it went that fast for him too. Tony just groaned.

“I just got rid of an erection by imagining Hitler.. oh my fucking God!”

* * *

 

Tony watched as the newest recruits were running through the course in the camp, smirking whenever a soldier fell or stumbled.

“You really do enjoy seeing others struggle.” someone said behind him and Tony turned his head, hands still in his pockets and still relaxing against the three.

“Aw, you do too Rogers.” Tony answered, smirking when Steve chuckled, nodding.

“Yeah, I do.” Steve agreed, stopping up right next to him.

“Thought you were going to hand in a request for leave?” the brunet asked after a few minutes of silence. Glancing at the blonde, Tony could see the faint glimmer of happiness in the man's eyes. Then Steve shook his head.

“Not yet, I.. need some things done first.” Steve said, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his pants. Tony nodded, raising an eyebrow when Steve didn't elaborate, but then again, it was none of his business what the man did outside the camp. Still, Tony had an insufferable decease called curiosity, one that he couldn't cure for anything in the world.

“Meeting up with Peggy?” he asked, because hello, duh, it was kinda obvious he was, they were engaged after all. Steve's face didn't change, but his eyes did. Something flickered across and suddenly Tony found himself worrying something was off, but then Steve smirked, turning to him.

“Actually, yeah, that's why I came to you.” Steve said and Tony stared at him, frowning now.

“What? Me? Why?” he asked, overly confused as to why Steve would come talk to him.

“Ugh, I hate doing this, I already asked Bucky so.. er.. I need.. a groom's.. best man.” Steve looked almost pained saying it. Tony blinked at him.

“Hah?” was all Tony uttered as he gaped at him. Had Steve just- oh yes he did.

“You- you want me to be your best man?” he asked, baffled. Steve nodded quickly.

“Yeah, you and Bucky.” the blonde said, scratching his cheek with a finger. Tony continued to gape at him, shell shocked. He just stood there, for several minutes, just gawking at Steve and the blonde seemed caught between amusement and annoyance for the time being. Then he tapped Tony on the shoulder to get his attention and Tony snapped back to present.

“I- wow.. you.. really want me to be your best man?” Tony asked.

“Yes Tony, I do.” Steve said, dragging a hand down his face, but he was smiling. For a second, that was all, Tony letting it sink in, then he stopped.

“Wait- did you just call me-” he was cut off when Steve raised an eyebrow.

“It's appropriate, besides, calling you Stark when Howard's around is calling for disaster, besides, it's not the first time I've called you that.” Steve explained, shrugging.

“I- okay, yeah, I guess so..” Tony gave a chuckle.

“You do realize I'm gonna do that too right? Call you by your first name.” Tony said.

“Yes, I do, do I take it you accept to be my best man? Well, men really.” Steve asked, smirking now. Tony grinned.

“Steve, I'd be fighting with teeth and claws if I had to, yes, I'd be honored to.” he answered, giving Steve a pat on the shoulder and chuckling. The soldier brightened up considerably upon that.

“Great.” Steve said, pushing both hands into the pockets of his pants.

“You know Steve..” Tony began, mimicking Steve's actions by stuffing his hands into his pockets too.

“Hm?” Steve hummed, stared ahead.

“I'm glad for you, cuz you do deserve this, you know, the marriage with Peggy.” Tony, giving a shrug. The blonde turned, looking at him again, eyebrows drawing together. After a moments silence, Tony turned, staring at him.

“What? You want some more cheesy lines? I ain't giving you any more of those bud.” Tony stated, giving a crocked smirk. Steve cracked soon after, laughter bubbling like a fountain.

“Gotta give you a point for that one.” the blonde managed as his laughter died out.

“Always, well.. since you are getting married, it's only mandatory for us guys to go out party, soon you wont be a bachelor anymore..” Tony stated, staring up at Steve, who raised an eyebrow. Tony knew bachelor wasn't a word they'd actually use that much in this age, but Steve knew he wasn't like the rest. Wasn't from this time. 

“Really now? And who're gonna pay for that?” he asked, smirking ever so much.

“Hellooooo? Rich dude here! Howard, if I know him correctly, will, without a doubt join, rest of the Howlers too and of course Bucky is joining, wherever he wants to or not.” the sergeant counted up and Steve gave a snort.

“Of course Bucky's gonna join, he's gotta make sure you don't get drunk.” he said.

“Oh, I thought you were going to say, get me home and senselessly fucked..” Tony joked and Steve might have choked on his spit, or his laughter, Tony wasn't sure.

“Geez, sometimes I forget you two are hitting it on.. no, I wasn't thinking that, and thank you, I really, honest to God did not need that image.” Steve groaned, facepalming. Tony just laughed at him and continued to watch the next group of soldiers running by.

“I wish.. it was legal..” Tony muttered.

“What? What is?” Steve asked.

“To marry another man.. if it was legal.. I'd- I'd ask Bucky to marry me..” Tony blurted out.

“Yeah, pity really.. of course, that being said, I have a hunch Bucky feels the same about that subject.” Steve admitted. Tony turned, surprised.

“What? Bucky? Really?” Tony spluttered. It was like some sort of daydream just formed. Even though he knew it was impossible in this age, he still couldn't stop thinking about it. He wasn't sure which of them would propose, but it'd probably be a tad too awkward and a lot embarrassing and yeah, sweet, but Tony couldn't let it go. Back home, if he had still been there, he'd probably married Pepper in some grand wedding. Now, he'd rather just crawl into a hole and die than propose, because it would endanger Bucky too, and he couldn't bare the thought of Bucky's life in danger.

“Yep.” Steve answered, grinning at him.

“Aw man, why are we in this age..” Tony groaned.

“Because we are.. well, unless we live to see the millennium end and the laws changed.” Steve said, shrugging.

“True.. it's not long though, it's just 52 years, I think we can live that long.” Tony added.

“Us maybe, you on the other hand is getting awfully old, you sure you're going to live that long? Even with your.. weird body..” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Tony sighed.

“I don't know.. I think I will.. what happened.. it's slowed my aging quite a lot, by any means, I might even outlive you.” which was close to the truth as he could come if Tony was unlucky, he didn't know if he could outlive all of his friends, or his family. Tony shook his head slightly. He couldn't think such now, it was how his life was now, wherever he liked it or not. At least now he understood why vampires in movies always hated their lives.

* * *

 

Just a week off, really, nothing much about that, it wasn't the first time, but this, this was definitely a first for Tony, well, in the sense he was happy for everyone. It was the 9th June, 1949. Tony was standing by Bucky, both in a black suit, looking down towards the doors. Next to them, Steve stood, suit white as snow with a blood-red rose tucked into the breast-pocket of his jacket, courtesy of Tony's somewhat late arrival. Howard was sitting on the front bench alongside the Howlers. There were a few other people, some friends of Steve, some friends of Peggy as well as her mother. Steve's father was nowhere to be seen, which was completely okay, Steve wanted nothing to do with the guy. If Tony was any more cliche, he'd go about the flowers and whatever other shit he could, but right now, it was all Steve and Peggy. Speaking of which. Tony had to admit, he'd never been at a wedding in a church before, despite having attended quite a few weddings through the years he spent in his old world. As the music began to play, the doors opened to reveal Peggy's father and the bride herself. And if Tony wasn't head of heels for Bucky, he sure as hell would've ogled her for what he was worth.

“Wow..” Bucky let out under his breath, glancing over at Tony with awe in his eyes.

“Steve's damn lucky, that's for sure.” Tony murmured back and the younger soldier nodded. It wasn't surprising to see the blonde staring at Peggy like a goddess striding across the halls, mesmerizing everyone in the room. She was dressed in a white dress, not quite mermaid form, but close. It was rather long, dragging behind her in the same fashion her veil fell from her head to the floor. And her entire being shone in happiness and pride, and Tony couldn't help but wonder if that's how he'd look if he ever got married to Bucky. He knew it'd never happen, but still, he could dream right? Tony glanced at Bucky and smiled. He was blessed, as blessed as any other loved person. Tony had the kindest lover, protective and supportive, just like their friends and what little family they had. There was nothing Tony would ever do to lose that.

“You'd look great in white too..” he whispered, just loud enough for Bucky to hear it and a blush rose to his cheeks, but his eyes never looked his way. Tony just smirked to himself, then flushed when Bucky glanced at him, amusement clear in his eyes.

“So would you..” he answered, tone just as low as Tony's and the brunet bit his bottom lip from saying anything else. Bucky was right, he would, he did, Tony had wore white before and he did it with pride. Maybe one day, he'd at least get to propose? They might not ever get married, but that doesn't mean he could at least ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weddings.. I have no problem writing them, this one tho (I hate this wedding so much)


End file.
